I want you know this does not change anything, she’d said, thinking herself so right and wise. You do know that, don’t you?
Four times he’d come to her with his heart on his sleeve, and four times she’d denied him. Dianna knew Miles was not a man without pride. He had a breaking point. A point beyond which he would not be able to see past all of the times she had said ‘no’ in favor of the one time she was finally ready to say ‘yes’.
Which was where Charlotte came in.
Her friend would know what to do. After dressing hurriedly in a plain brown dress with white lace trim and a matching spencer jacket, Dianna left a note for her parents - both of whom were still fast asleep in their separate bedrooms - and headed for the Graystone’s residence. She was admitted at half past eight, an hour typically reserved strictly for family members with emergencies that could not wait another minute. Were she calling on anyone else she would have undoubtedly been asked to return at a more reasonable time, but as far as the Charlotte and Gavin were concerned Dianna was family.
After being informed ‘Missus Graystone’ would be down shortly by a kindly faced butler, Dianna was shown into the front drawing room and offered a cup of tea, which she politely declined. Having risen at the crack of dawn she’d already in indulged in two cups of the bitter brew, both heavily laced with sugar and honey which no doubt explain the anxious energy that had her pacing circles while she waited for Charlotte.
She studied the wall hangings as she went round and round, ankle boots sinking silently into the thick Aubusson carpet. Like the rest of the Graystone’s manor - one of the largest in all of London - the drawing room was impeccably decorated. Matching furniture formed a cozy horseshoe around the dormant fireplace above which a large portrait of Charlotte and Gavin hung, their lurking smiles and sideways glances at odds with the serious expressions usually found in such portraitures.
“I look absolutely stunning, don’t I?”
Dianna spun towards the door to find Charlotte leaning against it, her amber eyes filled with sleepy amusement. Having obviously been roused from bed, she wore a green silk wrapper belted at the waist and her hair down, the vibrant red curls spilling like a wave of fire over her shoulders.
“Beautiful,” Dianna agreed.
Muffling a yawn, Charlotte crossed to the nearest chair and threw herself into it, bare toes curling on the carpet. “Now that my daily compliment quota has been met, why don’t you tell me why I’ve been dragged out of bed at this godforsaken hour.” Squinting at the bright morning light spilling through the front window, she suppressed a shudder. “Do you even know what time it is?”
“I do,” Dianna said apologetically as she sat across from her friend, “and I am sorry, but I couldn’t wait.”
“You’ve waited this long to come and see me,” Charlotte chided. “What’s a few more hours?”
Dianna glanced down at her hands. The truth of it was she should have called on Charlotte long before this morning, or at the very least sent a letter to see how she was feeling and how her pregnancy was progressing. Selfishly she’d been thinking only of herself these past few weeks, and the shame of it brought a flush of embarrassed color to her cheeks. “I know I should have come to call before now, but I-”
“-have been busy doing all sorts of things more important than visiting your oldest and dearest friend. Yes, yes, I understand and I even forgive you. This time,” Charlotte clarified with a stern look. “Do not let it happen again. You know there are very few people I can tolerate.”
“I know, and it won’t,” Dianna promised.
“Excellent. Well, get on with it. What’s happened? Is it your parents? Or Aunt Abigail? Has something happened to Aunt Abigail? For goodness sakes Di, say something,” she said in exasperation when Dianna remained silent. “Or else I am going to begin to fear the worst.”
“It’s Miles,” Dianna burst out. “I love him.”
“Oh. Well.” Sitting back in her chair, Charlotte crossed her long legs at the knee, absently pulling at her silk wrap so she remained covered. “I hardly see that as a reason to come knocking at the door before breakfast, but I suppose to each their own.”
“No, you don’t understand. Charlotte… I.... I love him.”
Gaze sharpening, Charlotte studied Dianna’s countenance. Whatever she saw erased the faint mocking glint in her eye and she leaned forward in earnest, fingers gripping the edge of her chair. “Tell me,” she said simply.
When Dianna had finished, Charlotte stood up. “Give me a few minutes to get dressed. Gavin has insisted I stay inside for the past three days straight given the dreary weather, but if I have to remain in this house for one more hour I fear I shall scream. It’s nice outside, is it not?”
“Yes, quite nice.” Unseasonably so, given that they were nearly at the end of November, not that Dianna was complaining. This time last year when she’d come to call on Charlotte she’d been dressed in an uncomfortable number of layers. It was wonderful to get by with wearing only a light gown and spencer, though she knew such days were numbered. Winter would be here soon enough, bringing with it a deluge of dirty slush, snow, and freezing rain.
“Excellent,” Charlotte declared. “Wait right here. I’ll be only a moment.”
“I must admit,” Charlotte said a short time later as she and Dianna stepped to the side of the path to allow a horse and buggy to trot pass before resuming their stroll, “that I am surprised to be the one to remind you of this.”
“Remind me of what?” Dianna asked, glancing at her friend in puzzlement. After making her repeat everything that had happened concerning Miles - twice - Charlotte had been walking in thoughtful silence, smoke all but pouring out her ears as she attempted to come up with an infallible scheme that ensured Dianna and Miles would, as she put it, ‘live happily-ever-after’.
“It is quite simple, really. You only need to-”
A burst of wind swept suddenly through the narrow alley of trees, bringing with it a miniature cyclone of spinning leaves. Charlotte and Dianna shrieked in unison as their skirts flew out and then up, revealing their white unmentionables for all of king and country to see.
Managing to secure the hem of her gown Dianna gave it a hard yank… only to cringe when she heard a resulting pop as a bit of stitching gave way. Twisting about in an attempt to find the source of the tear she caught another gust of wind full in the face, the force of it strong enough to pluck her hat from her head and send her staggering back into Charlotte who, unfortunately, was similarly off balance.
With a second shriek the two women tumbled to the ground in a tangle of limbs, their fall blanketed by a carpet of red and gold leaves. Face flushed from the exertion and heart beating at twice its normal speed, Dianna rolled onto to her back beside Charlotte and laid spread eagled, gazing up through the spindly tree branches to the bright blue sky beyond as she attempted to catch her breath.
“Perhaps all this hubbub about lying-in has come merit after all,” Charlotte said dryly.
Instantly alarmed as she recalled Charlotte’s delicate condition Dianna sat up on one elbow to conduct an anxious appraisal of her friend.
Except for some leaves tangled in her hair and a spot of dirt on the end of her nose Charlotte seemed no worse for wear. Seeing the concern on Dianna’s face she smiled and gave her growing belly - now twice the size it had been at Reginald and Abigail’s wedding - an affectionate pat. “Not to worry. Gavin and I leave for the country tomorrow where we will remain until our daughter is born and my greatest excursion shall be walking from the bedroom to the kitchen for some late night sweets. That all being said, I may need to rest here a moment.”
After glancing both ways down the path to make certain there was no one approaching, Dianna laid back down, wiggling ever-so-slightly from side to side until she found a comfortable position. It was, she thought with a deep sigh, rather liberating to feel the earth on her back and the sun on her face. Closing her eyes she breathed in deeply, filling her lung
s with the scent of freshly turned soil, crisp autumn air, and the faintest hint of chimney smoke from the townhouses on the other side of the park. After a moment she opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Charlotte, lips twitching as the stem of a leaf tickled the corner of her mouth. “What were you saying before? About reminding me of something?”
“Oh yes. That. Well, it’s quite obvious, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know,” Dianna said.
“I wasn’t going to. Tell you, that is. Or remind you, as I’m certain it is merely something you have forgotten.” Charlotte turned her head as well, the sudden gravity of her expression filling Dianna with a vague sense of dread. “But then you came to call this morning and all you could talk about was Radnor, so I changed my mind. Except now I am not quite certain what to do.”
“Just tell me,” she said faintly. “Whatever it is, I want to know.”
Leaves rustled quietly as Charlotte inclined her chin. Amber eyes solemn, she reached between them and took Dianna’s hand. As children they’d often slept at one another’s houses, and on those special occasions had always shared a bed, laying side by side and hand in hand as they drifted off to sleep.
To know nothing had changed between them and their friendship was as strong now as it had been all those years ago warmed Dianna’s heart and brought a soft smile to her face. Charlotte was the one person who had never disappointed her. Who had never made her cry. Who had never left her feeling alone and forgotten. Were it not for her unconditional love and support Dianna feared she would have turned out quite differently, and the dread in her chest slowly began to fade as she realized that no matter what Charlotte was about to say and no matter what happened with Miles and no matter what the future brought, she would always have this one great love in her life.
“Thank you,” she said softly, giving Charlotte’s hand a gentle squeeze.
“For what?” the redhead asked, elegant brows pinching in bemusement.
“For everything.”
There was no need to say more. Those two words spoke volumes, and the answering squeeze of Charlotte’s fingers told Dianna her dearest friend understood all she had left unsaid.
“I hope you retain that sentiment after I speak my piece.”
“Of course.”
“Well,” Charlotte sighed, “here it goes. As I said, it is quite obvious. Knowing your mother as I do, I am rather shocked she hasn’t said anything. Not to mention Radnor for that matter, especially since he seems so hell bent on a reconciliation”
“Mentioned or said anything about what?”
“Radnor is not dead or otherwise maimed, is he?”
Dianna blinked in confusion. “You saw him yourself. You know he is not.”
“Then let me be the first to offer my congratulations, belated as they may be.” Looking rather smug she added, “Not to mention the answer to your problem.”
Now Dianna was truly bewildered. “Congratulations? Charlotte, what are you talking about?”
“Your engagement, of course. Dianna… you are still betrothed to be married.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Not wanting to waste a minute more - four years seemed to be quite enough time - Dianna went to Miles’ townhouse the very next morning; arriving a full hour earlier than she had the previous day at Charlotte’s. She half expected to be turned away, but to her secret delight the door opened at once and she found herself face to face with a pretty young woman with familiar green eyes and dark hair wound up in a loose top knot that left long tendrils trailing down along her neck and shoulders.
“Harper,” she exclaimed in pleasant surprise, for with those eyes and that hair the woman could be no one else but Miles’ younger sister. “You’ve grown up.
“He is gone,” Harper said without preamble the moment Dianna stepped into the foyer.
“Gone?” she echoed, her gaze darting about as though she might find Miles lurking in a corner. Having been midway through removing her cloak - today was a bit too brisk for a light jacket - she shrugged it back on, hands clutching tight to the collar. “What - what do you mean, he’s gone?”
“I mean he left.” Expression solemn, Harper took a step forward, moving into a shaft of light cascading down from an open window. “He left for Winfield yesterday at dawn. But after that I do not know where he plans to go. Abroad, I believe.”
Dianna brought a trembling hand to her mouth, fingertips sinking into her bottom lip as she struggled to comprehend what Harper was telling her. Despite her bolstering conversation with Charlotte, it had taken all the courage she had to come here this morning. She’d come alone and on foot, using the distance between her townhouse and Miles’ to practice exactly what she wanted to say.
I forgive you. I love you. I need you.
There had been a plethora of other words in between, but those were the three things she’d most wanted to tell him. The three things she’d taken straight from her heart. If those hadn’t worked, she been prepared to remind him of their engagement. Except now he was gone. He’d left her… again. And everything she’d wanted to say no longer mattered, for he wasn’t here.
Dianna stumbled back a step, the pain of Miles’ final betrayal striking her like a physical blow to the chest. How could he do this to her again? How could he?
“Well, are you just going to stand there all shocked and wide-eyed?” Harper demanded, dark brows shooting up towards her hairline. “Or are you going to go after him?”
“Go… go after him?” Dianna repeated faintly. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t-
“Honestly. Do I have to do everything?” With a shake of her head, Harper took Dianna by the arm and propelled her back towards the door. “Mother took the carriage to call on a friend, but my horse can be readied in a matter of minutes. If you leave now you won’t be but a day behind him.”
At the mere thought of traveling all the way from London to Winfield on horseback Dianna felt the blood leach from her face. She balked in the doorway, rising up on her toes to prevent herself from being pushed across the threshold. “No,” she protested, yanking her arm free from Harper’s grasp when the younger woman attempted to pull her forward against her will. Heart pounding, she leaned weakly against the wall as the courage that had brought her to the Radnor’s townhouse rapidly began to fade. “I cannot,” she whispered. “I cannot.”
Harper relinquished her grip and stepped away, a grimace of disgust contorting her pretty face. “Cannot or will not?”
“You do not understand-”
“Oh, I understand. I understand only too well. He left me too, you know. He left me,” she said softly as she stared hard at Dianna, “but he came back for you.”
Dianna recognized the pain Harper’s eyes for it was the same pain she’d felt in her own heart for the past four years. “He came back for you as well. I know he did. You - you should forgive him.”
Harper’s chin lifted a notch. “I already have.”
“When is he leaving Winfield?” Dianna’s mind began to race, flicking through her possibilities as quickly as a gambler’s hand flicked through a deck of cards. Traveling to Miles’ country estate on horseback was out of the question. Although she technically knew how to ride, she would never make the journey. At least not with her sanity intact... and her neck. Her fear of horses was simply too great and her riding skills far too inadequate. She could most likely implore her father for the use of their carriage, although the horses were old and pitifully slow. Aunt Abigail and the Duke of Ashburn were still out of the country. Which left Charlotte and Gavin whom Dianna knew possessed all manners of conveyances from a speedy curricle to a massive town coach, although they were soon leaving for the country themselves. “If I manage to secure travel tomorrow-”
“You will be too late,” Harper said flatly. “Even the fastest carriage cannot get from London to Winfield in less than two days. By then Miles will be gone, and there is no telling when he will return. Your best chance - your only chance - is
to take my mare. She’s swift and sure. The journey would take you eight hours. Ten at the most if you stop along the way.”
Tears of frustration burned the corners of Dianna’s eyes. To be so close and yet still so far… It was maddening.
“He loves you,” Harper said, her expression softening as she misunderstood the reason behind Dianna’s tears. “I know he does. He always has. He’s only leaving because he no longer believes there is any hope. ”
He has risked his own life for mine, Dianna reminded herself. If Miles could stand down a man with a gun then surely… surely she could draw out the strength to manage this one task. She bit the inside of her cheek, teeth pinching the sensitive flesh.
Could she do it? Could she overcome her worst fear to tell the man she loved that she loved him? That he couldn’t leave because they were still engaged to be married? A shaky, trembling laugh spilled from her lips.
Did she really have a choice?
She’d forgiven Miles for leaving, but if she let him go this time without doing everything in her power to stop him she would never be able to forgive herself.
“I am not a strong rider,” she admitted in a strained voice. “I - I have not ridden for nearly ten years.”
“You do not have to worry,” Harper said matter-of-factly. “Damsel will take care of you and there is an easy way to Winfield. One that runs parallel to the main road through the woods. It will be faster, and safer. You will not run across anyone else and Damsel could follow the path blindfolded if need be.”
The horse’s name was fitting, Dianna thought with a wry twist of her lips. For what was she, if not a damsel in distress?
“Take our groom with you,” Harper continued. “Eddie knows the way as well as any other.” Her gaze darted to a long-case clock set up against the far wall. “If you leave now you can be at Winfield by nightfall.”
Dianna’s ribs strained against the confines of her corset as she took a deep, steadying breath. “Tell Eddie to saddle the horses.”
London Ladies (The Complete Series) Page 55