by Lexi Ostrow
“Whatever you say, Detective. The offer is on the table. You’re a good man, even if I haven’t seen you out and about for months.” Jay winked and took Jacob’s hand. “We’re heading out now. Bobby!” The man at the front bar turned to them despite the loud music. “Get my friend the best in the house. On the house.” He patted Jonathon’s chest with his free hand. “Stop being such a stranger. Isolation never served any man well!”
Am I isolated? Jonathon didn’t have a chance to ask Jay anything because the shifter already sauntered away, the extra sway in his hips standard practice for Jay on the prowl.
Could you be isolated? Jonathon moved toward the front bar, ready to get his drink and head home for a nap. Tomorrow was a rare day off. All his cases were closed, and even Lannow knew Jonathon was stretching thin. Still, the insinuation that not only had he not dated in a while, but hadn’t even been around, rubbed him the wrong way.
“Bottoms up,” Jimmy, a bartender Jonathon didn’t know, smirked as he passed over a smoking cauldron-shaped cup a little bigger than a shot glass. “No magic inside, just a little smoking potion.”
Nodding, Johnathon tipped the cauldron to his lips. A berry taste crossed his tongue, followed by the familiar smoke of whiskey. “That is good,” he passed the cup back.
“Jay’s favorite. Secret recipe.”
Jonathon turned toward the open doors. The nap can wait, you’ll just end up grabbing a drink at home. “Give me a bourbon. On the rocks. I need to be out of the house for a bit.”
Jimmy merely nodded and went to work on it.
Could you be isolated? Jonathon closed his eyes. He’d been in New Orleans for almost three years. He participated in coven gatherings, and before work got crazy, he’d tried dating. Dating hadn’t been in the cards because Jonathon wanted to work. He wanted to climb the ranks in the NOPD and do what there hadn’t been room to do in New York – become chief before he retired and angle for a position back home.
You don’t work too hard, do you? Jonathon knew the answer as his eyes opened. He did. Maybe you can convince Grace to come down for a visit. His brother’s ex fiancé happened to be Jonathon’s good friend. Thankfully, he and Grace were as opposite as could be. She was the best at finding him potential dates though – and birthday gifts. She’s never come. She hates anywhere that isn’t New York.
Sighing, he grabbed the glass. Note to self. Do more than work. Get a life. Sam was a real dick with Lita. Don’t be Sam. Tipping the glass to his lips, Jonathon couldn’t help but wonder how many people he dealt with perceived his focus on a case as being an ass.
“You know,” Ivy said with a smile. “I am getting somewhat used to girl’s brunch. I think we’re going to have to instill this as mandatory.” She glanced out over the railing on the balcony.
The cool breeze was rare in the summer, and Gris Gris’s balcony was packed.
“It basically is, ever since Dee started to feel better.”
Deidre’s gaze was focused on the clouds. Three days passed since she’d overheard Sam and Tanner worry about an evacuation, and there still wasn’t a gray cloud to be seen. Sure, the newscasts prepped people for the tropical storm brewing just to the southeast in the Gulf, but no signs in the sky gave Deidre any indication the coven would start prepping to offset the storm.
“Wonderful to see you ladies back,” Evie, a waitress who helped them often, smiled. “The usual drinks?”
“Nothing for me,” Lita didn’t lift her gaze from the menu.
“Of course. Still or sparkling water, then?”
“Sparkling.” Lita smiled briefly at Evie.
“No way.”
“Serious?” Deidre smiled. Despite clearly thinking she was pulling something off, Lita wasn’t.
“What?”
“How many?” Ivy’s gleeful question seemed to echo across the balcony out across the street toward City Park.
“Goddess, help me. All that because I turned down a freaking mimosa?”
Deidre chuckled. “Damn straight. You, out of all us, never turn down a drink.”
A slight flush crept over Lita’s cheeks. “Fair enough. Just one that they can see. I’m only six weeks along, so there’s some time before we know.” Lita set the menu down and glanced at Deidre before staring at the green wrought-iron table. “I didn’t want to bring it up and upset you.”
Deidre’s mouth opened and quickly snapped shut. Her eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms over her chest. “How long have you two been hiding things from me to keep my feelings from getting hurt?”
“Just this,” Lita whispered, eyes finally meeting Deidre’s. “I know you and Gerard were thinking about kids. I finally got my friend back, I just didn’t want to do anything that sent you back into your dark and lonely house.”
Deidre flinched. She’d been withdrawn, certainly, but had she been that awful? “I don’t think I was that bad.”
Ivy put her hand on top of Deidre’s. “You were. Those first few months,” she blew out a breath. “Every time I went to check on you, I worried I’d find you either dead or the house vacant because you ran.”
Anger coiled deep in her gut, and Deidre forced herself to suck a deep breath in through her nose. Focusing on a white light, she exhaled deeply. Three more calming breaths, and Deidre trusted herself to speak.
“I’m sorry I had trouble controlling my emotions. I know it wasn’t healthy. I know I should have asked for a healing draught of some sort, but I’m here now. I hurt every single day. I don’t think I ever won’t, but I’m not going anywhere.” She forced her lips to pull up into a smile. “I have a somewhat job. I have friends I love. I have a house most people would kill for in a city I couldn’t imagine not living in. It’s been almost nine months. That’s such a small time in the span of our lives, but I’m dealing with it.” Deidre slid her hand out from under Ivy’s and covered Lita’s with a gentle squeeze. “I am so insanely happy for you and Sam. This is something to celebrate, not hide.”
Months ago, the sentiment would have been hollow. Today, Deidre meant everything. Gerard was gone. Living a half-life didn’t honor him. It insulted him and the way he lived to help everyone around him.
“I’m sorry,” Lita still appeared uncomfortable. “It’s hard. I want to treat you as if nothing is different, but for you, everything is.”
Deidre’s nose burned as she blinked away tears. “Everything is not different. I’m still me, and I still love you guys. Your happiness is my happiness, and honestly, good news goes a long way.” She wiped at the tears sliding down her cheeks. “Do I hate sitting home alone sometimes? Sure, but it’s not different from when Gerard deployed. I’m navigating my new normal, and I can’t do it without you guys, so no more secrets.”
Lita nodded, but Ivy spoke in a rush of words.
“I think I’m stepping down from the council.”
Deidre shook her head as if she had to clear water from her ears to hear correctly. “Excuse me?”
“We all know I never wanted it. With the girls growing up, well, nothing is getting easier. If I had to choose between stepping down from the Council or stepping down as High Priestess, I’d choose the former every time.”
Lita snorted. “Funny how less than a decade ago, you hated the responsibility of High Priestess.”
“Yes, well, getting to change history and learn everything from my mother when my memories stitched together went a long way to changing that. I’m not ill-equipped to protect my coven any longer.”
“Why the real change of heart over Council Elect? The girls are practically angels.” Deidre leaned back as Evie set down two mimosas and an open bottle of sparkling water. Taking a sip, she nearly hummed in satisfaction as the drink went down. She didn’t drink often after getting married, but when she did, Deidre preferred taste over gasoline fuel.
“We’ve been through a lot in the last decade. We’ve unearthed lost spells, watched demons and angels step a little more into the light, seen more than one attempt to destroy
humanity, and the coven, in particular, has been attacked and threatened more times than I can count. If I step down, someone with new ideas can lead, and hopefully, our coven can see a little peace.”
Deidre’s mind flashed back to Sam’s overwhelming attempt to lecture her about safety a few days ago. “Did this idea come from Sam?”
Ivy shook her head. “Elijah, actually. He feels it’s dangerous having two parents as targets. He’ll never step down, he’s too proud. He also wants to grow our family a bit and keeping me safe and off the Council helps him feel better.” Ivy rolled her eyes. “You walk into one Death Hex, and the world is out to kill you.”
“I mean, come on. I died, had to sit within the confines of a Death Hex after having to cast one, and my husband lets me do whatever.” Lita smirked as she put the glass of water to her lips. “Which reminds me, Dee, if you want to hang out with us, you really need to step up your game.”
Deidre barked out a laugh. “Oh, no, not this crap again.”
“Oh, absolutely this crap again.” Lita laughed. “We have an image to upkeep. The least you can do is attempt to fit in.” Lita leaned to the side and awkwardly bumped her shoulder into Deidre’s.
“Well, I better get right on that. Good thing your husband has me helping out, so when the juicy stuff comes in, I can hop right on saving the world.”
“I mean, saving the world is a bit cliché.” Ivy teased, and she lifted her hand to get Evie’s attention. “You might want to just look for saving a race or a city.”
“Ha, ha. The pair of you are a riot. Maybe I don’t need to save the world. I could use some new friends.”
“Hey!” Lita frowned. “Some of us are hormonal and sensitive.”
“Oh, goddess. Are we going to hear about pregnancy the way we’ve had to listen to how you almost died?”
“I did die.” Lita snarked. “And I don’t think we should take it lightly.”
“Oh, no. Never Lita,” Ivy didn’t bother to cover her smile.
“Am I interrupting?” Evie stood between Ivy and Lita.
“Not at all, just reminding some people of the pecking order around here.” Ivy made a grabbing motion for their menus. “I’ll take the Southern Schnitzel.”
“Strawberry French Toast for me, I’m boring.” Lita offered an apologetic smile.
“That’s okay, we all know where your adventurous side went. Just the BBQ Gulf Shrimp for me.” Deidre closed the menu and passed it to Ivy, who handed it off.
“Coming right up, and I’ll send Simon over with some more mimosa.”
“We come here too often.” Deidre leaned back into the comfortable chair. “She knows what we want and when we need more drink.”
“Your fault. You live in Mid City and refuse to transport up to the Garden District for a fancy brunch. If we didn’t come to Ralph’s, we’d never get in anywhere.”
She snorted. “Mid City is the brunch hub of New Orleans.”
“Plus, we’d never have a reason to come down this way to see you if not for brunches.” Ivy glanced at her phone.
“Would you stop checking that?” Lita chastised. “Anytime we go somewhere without the twins, it’s like you expect Elijah to teach them how to shift or something.”
“It’s in their blood.”
“Yes, and weres can’t shift until puberty. Chill, Ivy. You aren’t going to miss out on anything. Elijah is terrified of you. The last thing he’d ever do is teach the girls to shift without you overseeing it.”
Deidre nodded her agreement.
“Mom guilt is real. We’ve only been doing these for what, a month, and I can’t focus around worrying about them.” She looked over at Lita. “Just you wait. You’ll see what I’m talking about.”
Lita grinned. “I already had to tell Sam whatever we have, it is not a little NOPD officer. He’s not parading the child around the station to show them off.”
Deidre sat quietly, listening to the banter. For as long as she could remember, this was the dynamic between their trio. Lita took risks and lived like that no one was watching. Ivy gave orders and worried. Deidre played mediator and simply enjoyed the time. In almost five hundred and ten years, this was how they functioned. Despite everything, they found their way back to their normal at every turn.
“Thank you.” She spoke suddenly.
“For?” Lita quizzically lifted a blonde brow.
“For picking me back up. It was enough to let me mourn and to be there for me, but you made sure I didn’t vanish.”
Ivy’s eyes gleamed as a basket of fresh bread was placed down on the table. She didn’t hesitate to snatch one up as quickly as a hungry bird. “You are stuck with us. If you want to be the old cat lady who solves crimes when she can, though, I’m turning you into a book series and making millions off you.”
Deidre snorted. “Something tells me my life would never be that interesting to anyone but us.”
Four
Once upon a time, the moonlight used to wake Deidre up for the day. Those days were long gone since her parents shut down their Bourbon Street bar and opted for retirement in the French Rivera. Tonight, it merely prevented her from sleeping as it pooled in through the white gossamer curtains.
Her hand splayed out across the bed without a thought and connected with the cool sheets, and her eyes shot open.
Gone were the days of a warmth covering the sheets beside her. The tears came unbidden as Deidre attempted to call up Gerard’s smiling image. His eyes lay dull, and the smile blurred as she squinted her eyes shut harder and called to the picture. Though her sobs remained silent, her tears spilled past her lashes and soaked into the pillow.
She lay still, all the sorrow and hurt drenching the foam pillow beneath her face. This was not the first night like this, and as the tears fell, Deidre knew it would not be the last. Silently, the tears fell and trickled down until there were no more left to fall.
Sniffling, she kept her eyes closed against the pillow. Some nights, she whisked herself away to Gerard’s grave. In the last few months, Deidre did so less and less, which is what made the siren song scream in her ears. His headstone, near the biggest mausoleum she’d ever seen, swept away Gerard’s image and stood there, beckoning to her with the promise of peace. Visiting him always brought peace to the sadness.
“Get up,” Deidre growled. Though she did not receive any premonitions or read the future, Deidre knew to listen to her gut. If her heart lured her to the cemetery, Deidre must listen. Not bothering to throw off the covers, she let her hand grope around her nightstand until it hit the cork of the transport potion bottle.
Ever since trouble came to the New Orleans coven Ivy insisted all members slept with a potion kit of sorts by their bedside. The neon green transport potion was one of three in the small wicker basket. Grasping it, Deidre ignored the way the glass clinked into another jar.
“Well, then, get out of bed. Can’t risk transporting the damn thing with you.” Grumbling, Deidre threw her feet over the side of the bed. The potion took everyone and everything touching the person who thought of a destination. She had no desire to explain why a four-post bed sat in a cemetery, even if her magic made such an explanation reasonably easy.
Standing, she pushed the cork out with her thumb and let the liquid rush out around her feet as she once again thought of the damn grave marker.
The sticky humidity swarmed her like hungry lions, and she opened her eyes and found herself just next to Gerard’s gravestone, the grass poking between her toes because she’d forgone shoes.
“I miss you,” the whispered sentence held the tremble of her sadness, but Deidre didn’t sink to the ground. “This is supposed to get easier, but I swear Ger, I swear it gets harder.” She sniffed back tears. “I’m trying to live for you. I’ve been on a few dates, I’ve even gotten over the idea that sleeping with another man is cheating on you.” She coughed out a laugh. “That took more time than it should have, but, Goddess, it still feels wrong for the most part.”
&n
bsp; Drawing in a deep breath, Deidre let her head fall back.
“It’s just all so damn hard.” More tears slipped freely down her cheeks and some splashed off the grayish-white cement under her hand.
Sighing, Deidre was grateful no one else could get into the cemetery at this hour. Sure, people could climb the gate, or use a spell as she had done, but for the most part, there was no one present to witness her falling apart.
“Do you know how many times I’ve cursed you for working that day? Or how many times I’ve wanted to punch Lita in the face for egging Vexx on?” She dropped down and put her back against the stone, trying to get as close to Gerard as she could. “Too many times to count, and my anger is never in the right place.”
Her hands clenched as she remembered Vexx got his comeuppance. Even if none of those he wronged had a chance to take a swing at him. The Council did what was needed. He was gone, his work destroyed, and the Council put a spin on the story that left no one questioning if it could be done again.
Of course, it could, but they ensured no one knew that.
“Life has been a whirlwind.” She forced back a sob. “I saw Bill again. I know you really liked him when you met him. It’s nice being with someone who understands, but Ger, he’s not you.” She knew at that moment she needed to stop seeing Bill. She used him as a warm body, and while it was fun and took her mind away from the hurt, it didn’t answer things.
Taking in a deep breath, she blew it out through her nose. Being by his side, even through a tombstone, always brought a sense of calm in the storm. Deidre knew it was likely all mental, but it stood to reason the sacred ground and his soul’s final resting place could have more power with it.
As she sat, her eyes fluttered closed. The storm inside her slowed and calmed, until the need to scream at the universe vanished, leaving only a sad woman by a grave behind.
“You’ll stop right there!”
The snarled threat jarred Deidre from her sorrow. Wiping her hand over her eyes, she tried to locate the speaker.