I close my mouth and shake off the surprise. Let him be helpful. The less we fight, the faster I can get home to Evelyn.
“Um, gnocchi or butternut squash. In that order. Oh, and some French bread.”
The corner of Law’s mouth twitches. “I’ll take a half-gallon of gnocchi, a half-gallon of the squash, and you have any of that toasted sweet bread made up?”
“I can just grab a loaf and toast it myself.” I offer, not needing to purchase the expensive stuff.
“Sure do. You want a half or a whole?” Cory moves around as he speaks, filling two half-gallon containers with the soups Law ordered. I hope he plans on taking one for himself, because that’s too much for Evelyn and me.
“Make it a whole.”
I open my mouth to interject again, when Law shocks the shit out of me by handing over his credit card.
“Law!”
“Shut it, Cami. The less you argue, the quicker you can get home.”
Damn him! A headache throbs behind my eyes.
I turn to the display case and busy my mind with reading all the nameplates in front of the various salads. I read through: No-Bake Baked Potato Salad, Buffalo Chicken Salad, Three Cucumber Salad, Broccoli Cheese Salad, Deli Antipasto Toss, and Cranberry Pistachio Cloud before he touches my shoulder and informs me it’s time to leave as if I’m a child.
“I can carry my things,” I say halfheartedly. At this point, he isn’t even listening, and frustration fills my veins.
We step together into the November chill. I fold my coat tighter around my body and hold out my hand for my bags. “Thanks. I’ve got it from here.”
“Where’s your car?”
“Lawrence, I got it.”
“I didn’t ask if you got it. I asked where’s your car.”
“Please. I just want to get home.”
“Cami, where’s your damn car?”
Fighting the urge to stomp my foot, or let out some shrieking battle cry, I jam my hand into my pocket, whip out my keys, and squeeze the button on my key fob until the lights blink repeatedly. “There you go.”
He snorts obnoxiously, wraps his enormous hand around my elbow, and tows me toward my car. “Difficult… dramatic… Not much has changed with you, has it?”
I jerk my arm back out of his grasp. “Thanks for the insult.”
“Is it?”
I glance at him from the corner of my eye. We reach my car, and I unlock the trunk with the fob. “It is if you’re implying I’m childish.”
“No, not childish. Stubborn, definitely.”
“Thanks,” I huff.
He sets both bags inside and slams it closed.
I force a deep breath. I want him to hear my sincerity with what I said next. “Thank you. Truly. For helping me in there. It could have been a catastrophe, and I would have been even later getting this home to my daughter. I really appreciate the help.”
We lock eyes, and I feel like I convey my message. Until he cracks a smile and throws his head back to stretch his neck. “And there’s the drama.”
“What drama? I’m being serious.”
He rolls his head back into place. “I know. Which is why it’s funny that you used the word catastrophe to describe a shopping cart falling apart. Seriously, Cami.”
I purse my lips to keep from smiling. “Oh, shut up. I need to get home.”
“Yeah, I do too.” His face falls to seriousness, and he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip. The movement reveals the long dimples on either side of his mouth. My stomach flips at the sight. He hasn’t fully smiled in my presence, and I’d forgotten all about them.
My gaze moves from the dimples to his mouth. “So, I guess this is it then? You’re going back home?”
“Shit,” he curses, and my eyes snap to his.
One second we’re staring at each other, and the next, his big body cages me in. His arms come down on either side of me, and he rests his palms against the lid of my trunk. I bow my back to permit some space, but Law has none of it. His broad chest presses against my breasts, and one of his hands leaves the trunk to wrap around my back.
“What are you doing?” I whisper shakily, unsure of what to do with my hands. I don’t want to lead him on, but not touching him feels so wrong. Touching him feels wrong, too, so I’m stuck with my hands suspended between us.
He closes his eyes and rests his forehead against mine. When he opens them, they seem to shine. “I live here now, Cami.”
“You do?”
He bites his lip again. “You’re going to hate me, anyway.”
My brow furrows. “Hate you for what?”
A war wages in his eyes. “For this.”
The hand behind my back tangles into my hair, and he uses it to tip my head to the side. My eyes open wide, but the second his lips touch mine, they drift closed as if I’ve fallen asleep. A new dream begins, one I know I won’t wake up from for the rest of my life. A dream where Law and I can somehow fix this chasm between us and find one another again.
There’s nothing slow or gentle about the way he devours my lips. He steals from me. He presses coaxingly against my lips until they submit to his, and then he prods with his tongue until I open for him. Kissing him now is nothing like I remembered, and fear grips me.
Can he taste my inexperience? Is the feel of his mouth on mine as potent to him as it is for me?
I no longer wonder what to do with my hands. They move on their own to slip inside his open coat. My fingers trail up his chest, causing a groan to rumble from his lips. I keep moving until I grip his shoulders and pull him tighter to me.
Something I did broke the spell, and he wrenches his mouth from mine, establishing space.
We pant heavily, creating white clouds between us. They float up above our heads, taking whatever magic we conjured with them. I remain speechless, but Law finds his voice immediately.
“We can’t see each other again.”
My head thuds against the trunk and a frown tugs my lips down.
“I live here now, so places like this? It’s unavoidable. But you said it right a few weeks ago. We’d be better off avoiding each other.”
“Then why the hell did you kiss me?”
He sniffs and gazes out at the horizon. “Because I wanted you to feel it.”
“Feel what?”
“Get home. Take care of your daughter.”
I push away from the car, back into his space. “Feel what?” I bite out.
“Nothing,” he growls back. “I wanted you to feel nothing, because I don’t like you like that. And if you felt nothing, and I felt nothing, we can stop with this game between us.”
Anger overrides my common sense and decency. I shove him in the chest with both my hands. When that doesn’t feel good enough, I shove him again, this time stinging my palms and forcing him back a step. His face morphs into shock and then turns hard when I get up on my tiptoes right into his space.
“You may have forgotten, since it’s been so long, but I like the people kissing me to like me like that.”
I don’t wait for his reaction. I can’t. Physically, mentally, I need to get out of here. By the time I get in my car, start it, and put it in reverse, Law is gone.
* * *
“Evelyn, I’m home.”
The house is dark except for the TV flickering from the living room. I pad lightly down the unlit hallway until I hit the kitchen entrance. If she’s asleep on the couch, I don’t want to upset her by flooding the room with light. The two bags from the store rustle together and swing in my grip while I search blindly for the light switch.
I work quickly, putting everything away so I can get to her. A couple hours have passed since we spoke about the popsicles, and I feel guilty for wasting any time with Law.
Never mind that my lips still tingle with the feel of his and my heart hasn’t returned to normal.
After dishing and warming two bowls of butternut squash soup in the microwave, I tear off some bread and set a tray. There’s not
hing I’d rather do than relax with my baby girl on the couch.
Some Lifetime movie plays on mute. I leave it on, not in the mood for any particular show, and gently shake her.
“Hey, honey. I’m home and I have food.” I slide my hand from her shoulder to the back of her neck. Heat envelops my fingertips. Her fever is raging. “Have you had any Tylenol today?”
“Mom?” she croaks, and the sound breaks my heart.
“Sit up, sweetie. Let’s get some medicine to bring down that fever, and you can try to eat. I have popsicles, if you want one of those instead.”
“Okay.” The word barely leaves her lips before she drops her head back down to the pillow.
I take her bowl back to the kitchen and trade it for a popsicle and some Tylenol.
“All right, time to wake up for a minute.” After coaxing her to sit, she accepts the medicine and the popsicle. I wedge myself onto the couch with her, and she rests her head against my thigh. I balance the tray of soup on the arm of the couch, and between bites, I stroke her hair.
“You sure you don’t want some soup? It’s really good.”
“No, I’m okay.”
“Have you had anything to eat today?”
She shakes her head against my thigh. “No. I made some tea, but I mostly slept.”
I sift the silky strands of her auburn hair through my fingers. “Fine, but tomorrow you’re eating soup. I have enough to last us two weeks.”
“Why did you buy so much?” Evelyn asks through a yawn that pivots into a cough.
“Mistake,” I grumble around the last spoonful of my soup. “Changed my mind on the kind, and since they couldn’t put it back, the employee gave it to me for free.”
“That was nice of them.”
I redirect my hand to rub the muscle between her neck and shoulder. She isn’t complaining, but I know she has to have muscle aches by now.
“Yeah,” I answer, recalling the true events of the evening. “It sure was.”
Before long her breaths turn soft; Until the coughing starts. After I shift my dinner tray to the coffee table, I slide my leg out from beneath me to get more comfortable. Evelyn sleeps while I stroke her hair, and I get lost in my thoughts.
My words from earlier play back in my head. I wonder if Law recognizes them. If they make him feel as lost and nostalgic as they do for me. I wish I had his cell number so I could lash out at him over text, but I know it wouldn’t do us any good.
We aren’t good for one another. Whatever we had in the past was nothing more than a childhood crush. And yeah, maybe if I’d stuck around we could have made a go of things, but that isn’t how our lives worked out. I didn’t stick around. He didn’t come looking for me. The world kept on spinning until it dumped him back into my life. Too much time has gone by. The hurt and the resentment won’t stay buried forever. I can count on one hand the number of recent encounters we’ve had, and none of them were pleasant. In fact, they seem to escalate, which should give me my answer.
With my daughter in my arms, I can make sense of it all. We’ve been good for a long time, just the two of us, and I’ll do anything not to upset our balance.
My eyes grow heavy. Throwing out a hand blindly, I nab the remote from the coffee table and end the constant flickering from the TV. The room plunges into darkness.
I leave Evelyn asleep on the couch, but before I do, I cover her with the throw from the back of the couch. She thankfully doesn’t stir. Then I get ready for bed alone, just as I’ve done every night for fourteen years. Something I would continue to do on the nights that Law upset me and those he didn’t. Something that, even if we become friendly with one another, I’ll still do alone.
That’s the woman I am. I’m happy with my life and everything I’ve built for my daughter and me. I’ll be damned if I let a few encounters with him ruin that.
On this night, though, settled in my bed and waiting for sleep, I do something differently; I let myself remember. I dredge one memory up and cling to that thought as sleep pulls me under.
9
Fifteen and a half years earlier…
“Where are we going?”
Law’s hand squeezed and tugged me up the dirt path. He glanced back at me with a crooked smirk but said nothing to answer my question. His bright eyes spoke of his excitement for him. We were on another one of our adventures, and as usual, he refused to tell me where we were going.
One nice part about living in a small town was being able to get where we wanted by walking or riding our bikes. Law and I lived close enough that we walked to one another’s house, and once we were together, our parents let us go anywhere. Well, his parents did. My dad was dead, and my mom probably couldn’t care less. In two months, Law would have his license and his dad already promised him his old truck, so this era of our lives was ending.
The early morning breeze whipped my hair around my face, the strands tickling against my cheeks. Sunlight filtered through the boughs of the trees, ripe with mid-summer leaves. It was chilly, but in a few hours and after a few miles of hiking, it would warm up.
“What if something happens to you, and I have to call for help? I’ll have no idea where we are, how we got here, and how to get out. A bear or something’ll eat me, since everybody knows bears like their food living instead of dead. I don’t think it’s fair you always get to lead the way.”
I stumbled over a rock. Law’s arm went taut, and he spun around to steady me. He moved his grip from my hand to my hip. I had to tip my head way back to look him in the eyes. I swear he grew six inches in a month that summer. When he looked down at me, he smiled, and my stomach flip-flopped.
“In a couple months, you’ll have your driver’s license. You can lead the way then.”
My brow crinkled, and I frowned. “So will you. And I won’t have a vehicle, either, which means you’ll have to drive.”
He let out a laugh and scratched his eyebrow with the side of his thumb. “I suppose you’re right, darlin’. If you’re lucky, I’ll let you drive occasionally.”
“You aren’t funny.” I crossed my arms over my chest. I was annoyed, but not actually upset. This was one of those differences between us I had learned to live with. Law still had parents, and I didn’t. Not really. He’d get a car on his birthday, whereas I’d have to save up for one.
And it was fine, for the most part. I wasn’t against being independent. Mostly I was happy for everything that Law had, as a lot of those things benefited me too. I only became bitter when I wanted to do something for him and didn’t have the means to do so. At those times, I felt inadequate.
“Yeah, well, you’re cute.” He moved his hands from my hips to cup either side of my head, just above my ears. He tugged me off balance. I nearly fell, and to save myself, I twisted my fists in the shirt at his waist. Law bent down and planted a kiss in the center of my forehead. “Now, quit whining. We have a lot of trail left to cover, and we aren’t going to do it by standing around.”
Any response died in my throat. My skin tingled where his lips were, and I hoped it never stopped. Law grinned wider and hiked his backpack up on his shoulder before he started up the path again.
It took me a second to get my head back on straight and chased after him.
My favorite thing about exploring the woods with Law was we didn’t have to fill the silence with chatter. It felt natural to walk the trail and peacefully take in the outdoors. Our steady breaths joined the birdsong and the soft rustle of the nearby leaves.
We’d trade spots on the trail, and if I got too far ahead, Law would catch up and take my hand. I can’t lie and say that wasn’t an incentive to go faster. It became a game that made the distance pass quicker. The sun was nearly overhead when we reached an opening in the trees. I could hear rushing water nearby.
“Is this it? Is this where we’re going?” I asked excitedly and let go of his hand to get ahead.
“Hey, wait for me!”
Where the trees opened, the trail turned and wen
t down an incline. It looked steep, but not unmanageable, so I began the climb down. The trail wound around a pool of water that was surrounded by rocks in different shades of brown and gray. A huge waterfall poured over a rocky ledge, feeding the pool, which then ran off a hill in a river. The complete back of the waterfall was exposed in a way we could easily walk 360 degrees around it.
I was so busy taking in the beauty and peacefulness of it all that I hadn’t realized Law was behind me.
“Do you like it?” His words sent his breath against my ear like a warm breeze, and I shivered.
“It’s beautiful.”
“Come on.” He took my hand and tugged me around the edge of the pool to climb behind the waterfall. “Be careful. Some of the rocks are wet.”
We navigated behind the fall, and it was even more breathtaking from the other side. Fingers of sunlight filtered through the flowing water, throwing prisms against the rocky walls. I ran my fingers against the rough surface. Even though I was touching it, this place didn’t feel real.
“Have you been here before?”
I turned back to Law to see he’d laid out a blanket from his backpack and was pulling cans of root beer out.
He shook his head. “I asked my dad for a suggestion.” He lifted his shoulder in a shrug, and his cheeks pinked as if it embarrassed him.
I joined him on the blanket then, sitting close enough that I could tap his crossed knee with mine. “It’s amazing. I’m so glad you brought me here.”
“It’s nothing, really. I thought you might tire of the same trails and places we usually go.”
It was my turn to shrug, and I picked at my soda tab. “I mean, it’s not so much about where we go, as it is that we’re together. I guess if we ran out of things to talk about then it would get boring.”
Law looked at me funny, but I didn’t know what it meant. I saved myself from answering by taking a huge swallow of my drink. “I love waterfalls,” I sighed, attempting to feel less awkward about his funny look. “If I could move anywhere, I’d want a waterfall in my backyard.”
Where We Meet Again Page 7