“When she did speak, she was furious, and I realized that her silence was her trying to keep her cool until we got home, and we could really hash it all out.
“But we never got there. She hit a patch of ice and her car skidded off the road and down the little bank until we ended up wrapped around a tree.
“I blacked out and when I came to, I found her beside me, hunched over the wheel, her hand in mine, her eyes barely open.” My voice cracks as I remember it as vividly as if it happened yesterday. “She... she told me that she loved me, that she was proud of me, that... that I needed to do something better with my life. S-she made me p-promise that I wouldn’t go back to them.”
Ruby shifts closer, pulling our joined hands closer to her while taking one away to wrap around my upper arm.
“S-she died. Right there in front of me.”
“I’m so sorry, Ash,” she whispers, her voice sounding as rough as mine.
I suck in a breath and turn my head to look at her. Her cheeks are streaked with her tears and the makeup they’ve washed away and there are more threatening to spill.
Her breath catches as her eyes find mine. I have no idea what’s staring back at her but I can’t imagine I’m looking my best right now.
She releases my arm and reaches out to cup my cheek, her thumb wiping at my skin, collecting up the tears I didn’t even realize had fallen.
“She sounds like an incredible woman,” she whispers, her eyes holding mine. “And she was really lucky to have you.”
I bite down on my bottom lip to try to keep the sob in that threatens to erupt at her words. Instead, a laugh rips from my lips.
“I caused her nothing but shit for years.” I laugh again, recalling some of the things I’ve done to piss her off.
“You’re a teenager, that’s kinda what we’re supposed to do.”
“Little one, don’t try to tell me that you’ve ever pissed off your parents. You’re such a goodie-two-shoes.”
She smiles at me, and it makes something inside me feel a little lighter.
“I’ve had my moments. Plus, Mom’s still off with me because she thinks I had sex in her bed so...”
I laugh, dropping my head as I remember her angry little face as she tried to plead her innocence.
“That was good. You can’t deny that.”
“You’re an ass, Ashton Fury,” she says lightly, but the second she realizes what she’s just said, she gasps. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Shush, it’s okay. Insult me all you want, it’s really not going to make my day any worse.”
“I’m—”
“Don’t. Don’t tell me you’re sorry again. None of this is your fault. None of this is anyone’s fault but—”
Her fingers press against my lips cutting off what she knows is about to fall from my lips.
“It was an accident, Ash.”
Parting my lips, I suck her fingers into my mouth, needing to think about something other than the grief that’s ripping me in two.
She smiles at me, her eyes darkening as my tongue laves at her.
“Ash,” she half moans, half warns, flicking a glance over at the grave before us.
I release her fingers but not because she wants me too or because she thinks it’s inappropriate, she should know by now that I don’t really give a shit about what everyone else thinks is okay. I release her because I can’t stop the words that spill from me. “She’d have loved you.”
“W-who? Your mom?”
“Yeah, my mom. She always wanted me to meet a sweet girl who was strong enough to stand up to me.”
“Ash, I’m not sure—”
I cut off her words in the same way she did me earlier, only I don’t leave my fingers at her lips long enough for her to do anything with them because I slide them around the back of her head and pull her lips to mine.
Pushing my tongue into her mouth, I lose myself in her kiss and she lets me take everything I need. Her hand wraps around the back of my neck and squeezes lightly, her touch warms me from the inside out and makes me realize that maybe I’m not as alone as I thought I was.
I didn’t want to move to Rosewood. I didn’t want to be with Dad and his new family. But things are changing faster than I know how to control.
Breaking our kiss, I rest my head against hers and stare down into her eyes. The green shines bright with a mixture of lust and emotions that are swirling within them.
“You deserve better than this,” I admit quietly. It’s the truth, she deserves a hell of a lot better than how I’ve treated her, how I’m sure I’m still going to treat her.
“Take what you need right now, Ash.”
“Fuck, little one.”
“We should probably go,” she suggests, pulling back from me.
I look around, suddenly realizing just where we are. The coldness from the ground beneath me seeps into my bones.
“Yeah, we should.”
I push to stand, taking her hand and pulling her up with me.
“They’re going to be waiting for you.”
I open my mouth to respond but I decide against it for now.
We both brush ourselves off before I turn to Mom’s grave once more. I pull Ruby into me and kiss her hair. Even in her heels, she’s so small that I can easily rest my chin on the top of her head.
“Thank you,” I whisper but it’s not too quiet for her to hear because she tenses in my arms.
“I’m here, Ash. Take whatever you need.”
I nod, silently accepting her words as I say my final goodbye to the woman who’s given the best part of her life to ensuring I have a future.
“Bye, Mom,” I breathe before turning my back on the grave and walking toward the gates with my arm locked around Ruby’s shoulders, her arms around my waist for support.
Once we’re outside the church grounds, I pull my cell from my pocket to call a car.
She spots what I’m doing and stops me.
“Your dad said a car was waiting for us.” She looks down the street until her eyes land on an idling car. “There.”
I allow her to lead me toward it, but I freeze when she opens the door and checks with the driver that he is indeed waiting for us.
She steps inside, tugging on my arm for me to join her but I don’t move.
“Ash?” she asks, her brows pulling together in concern.
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“But—”
“Please, Ruby. Just go and... and I’ll be there in a bit.”
“But—” she tries again but I don’t have it in me to argue about this. “I’m sorry.” I close the door on her and bang my hand on the roof instructing the driver to leave.
I watch the car disappear and it feels like it takes a part of me with it.
I don’t look away until it turns the corner, only when I do look away, I just find myself looking over my shoulder to where she’s resting.
Dropping my head into my hands, I scream out my frustration and my pain. If any of the pedestrians are particularly concerned by my actions, then they don’t show it because while I stand there bleeding out my pain all over the sidewalk, everyone just continues on with their lives.
22
Ruby
I twist in my seat and watch him on the sidewalk as he stares at the car.
My heart aches for him and everything he’s going through, but I know forcing him to do anything he doesn’t want to right now is wrong.
He needs to do this in his own way and in his own time. And if he needs a breather before going to the reception, then who am I to judge? It’s not like I really have any experience with the kind of loss he’s experiencing right now.
I don’t look away until the driver turns the corner, and he disappears from my sight.
I glance at the driver and I almost demand he turn around so I can go back to him. But I don’t. I told him he could take whatever he needed to help get him through this, but I’m not forcing myself on him. If h
e wanted me beside him right now, I would be.
Fuck, why does that thought hurt so much?
I rub the heel of my hand against my chest as a shiver rips through me.
“I’m sorry, but is there any chance you could turn the heat up a little?” He agrees as I wrap my arms around myself and stare out of the window.
My eyes feel swollen from crying with Ashton, and my insides feel like they’ve been tossed around in a hurricane.
The drive to the reception is only short and long before I’m ready, the car is pulling up to some kind of hall.
“Thank you,” I mutter to the driver before pushing the door open and climbing out. The sun is already starting to drop behind the buildings making the city look darker than it actually is.
I smooth my coat down over my butt, appreciating that it’s probably covered in mud from sitting on the ground in the graveyard, but I can’t really find it in myself to care.
The second I step through the doorway, I feel like every set of eyes turns on me.
I suck in a breath as my stomach tumbles.
Stephen comes racing over, quickly followed by Mom.
“Where is he?” he asks in a rush.
“He... um... he needed a breather.”
“He’s coming though, right?”
I stare at him for a beat, concern for his only son bleeding from his eyes. “I don’t know, Stephen. I’m sorry. He’s... he’s really struggling.”
“Shit. Where is he?”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “But even if I did, I think it’s best you leave him to do his thing.”
He nods regretfully. “I wish things were different. I wish he’d let me in. What’s the secret?”
A shocked laugh falls from my lips. “You’re asking me? He hates me.”
Stephen shakes his head. “Ruby, come on. You’re smarter than that. My son doesn’t hate you, he just hates himself right now. But he’s let you in.”
My lips part to respond, but I’m too shocked to find any words.
“Please, just... look after him.”
“Stephen, I don’t think—” My words are cut off as some guy similar in age to Stephen walks over and holds his hand out to him. Both he and Mom turn the man’s way and introductions begin.
I blow out a breath and turn away from them in favor of finding the bathrooms. I feel like a hot mess and I’ve no doubt that I look like one too.
Spotting the sign, I make my way over, keeping my head down to ensure no one attempts to spark up a conversation with me.
Thankfully, it’s empty. I stop at the basin and risk looking at myself in the mirror.
My eyes are red and bloodshot, my skin is blotchy and my makeup is a disaster... well, mostly missing, to be honest.
I wipe at the black smears under my eyes before turning toward a stall and locking myself inside. I close the lid and sit down. Dropping my head into my hands and allowing myself a few quiet minutes to collect my thoughts.
Everything that Ashton told me spins around in my mind like a vortex, his pain blends with mine and his desperation makes my heart hurt.
I wish I could help, could take it all away, but there’s nothing I can do right now other than what he tells me.
My cell buzzes in my lap and I pull it out to find messages from both Harley and Poppy in our group chat asking how it’s going.
I’ve barely spoken to them since we left Rosewood, and guilt adds to what I’m already trying to deal with.
Seeing that Harley sent the most recent message, I hit call on her name and wait for it to connect. It’s not until it starts ringing that I realize that she’s probably at practice but as I’m about to hang up, she answers.
“Hey, how are you?”
I open my mouth to speak but no words come out, instead, a sob rips up my throat.
“Shit, Ruby. Hang on.” She covers the speaker, but I hear her tell Chelsea—I assume—that it’s me and that she’ll be back. “Hey, I’m here. What’s going on?”
“God, Har. It’s so awful,” I say honestly. “It’s like I’m watching him shatter before my eyes.”
“Ashton?”
“Yeah, who else?”
“I... I don’t know. What’s going on, Rubes?” A door closes but I pay it little mind and instead focus on my conversation.
“I... um... I slept with him.”
“Ruby,” she half sighs, half laughs.
“I’ve been staying at his old apartment with him. He took me to this insane party last night, and... ugh... I don’t know. One thing led to another and...”
“You gave him your V-card.”
“Yeah.”
“How was it?” she asks curiously.
“It was...” I blow out a breath. “Amazing. But then today happened and... ugh... I don’t know. This is a mess. He’s a mess. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Everything will be fine, Rubes. When are you back?”
“Our flights are tomorrow but I have no idea if we’re going to drive back again or what. Stephen’s car is here so...”
“We... uh... we really need you back, Rubes. Nationals are next weekend.”
“I know, I know.” I really don’t need her to tell me this. I’m well aware that time is not on my side here.
“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go. Chelsea is giving me her best death stare. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Har.”
“Anytime. Speak soon.” She blows me a kiss before hanging up.
I put my cell away, make use of the toilet now I’m in here before pulling the door open with the intention of fixing my makeup and going back out there. Only I don’t get that chance because when I look up, my world falls from beneath me.
“Mom?” Her brows lift. “How much of that did you hear?”
“Enough.”
Disappointment and disbelief drip from that one word. My stomach clenches and I pray that the ground will swallow me whole and put an end to this whole day.
My heart races as she continues staring at me, and I replay that brief conversation with Harley over and over in my head.
“Ruby,” she says slowly as if she can’t even believe the words that are about to pass her lips. “Please tell me you didn’t... that you haven’t...” She can’t even say the words.
I hate the way she’s looking at me, like I’ve done something so dirty, so forbidden that she doesn’t even want me standing in front of her.
Everything inside me screams to lie, to tell her it wasn’t true that nothing has happened. But why should I cower down because she thinks it’s wrong?
Yeah, things between Ash and I are... complicated. He hates me, and I’m pretty sure I still hate him... maybe. But when we’re together, it’s... different. He’s different. He’s let his walls down, he’s allowed me in, even if for the briefest moment. I refuse to let her judgment ruin what’s grown between us, even if it ends up being nothing.
“Yes, Mom. I slept with him.”
She gasps, her eyes narrowing to the point I wonder if she can actually see me. “But... but... he’s your stepbrother.”
“Right, step.” I roll my eyes at her. “We’re not related. Stephen isn’t my dad. Ash is just a boy I met recently just like I do with new kids at school on almost a weekly basis.”
“But... you can’t. He’s Stephen’s son.”
“So because you’re sleeping with his dad, Ash and I aren’t allowed near each other? That’s bullshit and you know it.”
Her face reddens with anger.
Turning away from her, I twist the faucet with more force than necessary and wash my hands while she stands there fuming.
“Where are you going?” she snaps at me when I step toward the door.
“Back out there to support your husband.”
“You need to stay away from him, Ruby. He’s bad news.”
“Oh come off it. You don’t even know him.”
“I know what Stephen has told me.”
&nbs
p; “Pfft, you think he knows Ash?” I shake my head. “You’re delusional.”
My hand is on the handle, ready to pull it open to storm away from her judgmental eyes when her words stop me.
“He’s not a good person.”
I spin on my heels and pin her with a look. “He’s angry, I get that. I even understand it. He had a happy life here and then his dad left Leanora for you. He moved halfway across the country and abandoned him.”
“Stephen didn’t abandon him. His and Leanora’s relationship was long over before he left.”
“He was a child, Mom. That shit doesn’t matter. In Ash’s eyes, his dad left and shacked up with you, with us.”
“Your dad left, and you never joined a gang.”
I throw my hands up in frustration.
“Not even the same. Not even close. Dad lives on the other side of town.” When he’s actually in Rosewood, that is, and not away with work. “I can see him whenever I like. He can take me out, we can do things together. You two still talk, you’re still friends. We have a nice house, a comfortable life. Ash didn’t have any of that. He’s watched Leanora struggle to keep a roof over their heads. She—”
“Was an alcoholic,” Mom interrupts.
“Is it any wonder? Have you even seen where they live?”
“No, but—”
“No, Mom. I don’t want your excuses and for you to tell me all the things you think you know. You don’t know Ash, you don’t know what it was like for him.” I mean, I don’t really and I’m going out on a limb here, but I refuse to allow her to judge us like she is. We did nothing wrong. We are doing nothing wrong.
So what if our parents are married?
“You’re seventeen, Ruby.” She tries changing tactics.
“Maybe so, but not for much longer. And in case you hadn’t noticed. So is Ash, so don’t pull the age card on me. And plus, are you really going to stand there and tell me that you and Stephen didn’t do anything until you were both eighteen? I already know you were together at thirteen.” I raise my eyebrows, reminding her that she tells anyone who’ll listen that they were childhood sweethearts.
Her lips part but she has no words. She doesn’t need them though, the answer is written all over her face.
FURY: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rosewood High Book 6) Page 18