My mother, god, how had he been capable of doing that to her? Well, that hit that guilt right on its head. I had done the right thing.
He would have to face the consequences of his actions, what he had been responsible for and now I didn't have to spend my life looking over my shoulder. Hopefully.
"I have done enough running for a lifetime," telling him, "I am not leaving New York because of him, not again," maybe for other reasons one day, but now, New York was my home and I was not being driven out because of Nicolas Hartman again.
As if realizing what he had actually said, he nodded his head not responding to those words I had just spoken.
"You know, Noah, I have known your father since I was seventeen years old. Back before all of the money, when he used to sleep on any sofa he could, how did you know you could trust me with this? How did you know that I was not working with him?"
"I didn't," my truthful answer shocked him, I could tell. "But I had to take a risk, we couldn't keep on running like that" I wouldn't have been able to see Sneaks constantly thinking about her family. Even if she didn't say it out loud, there was this look that took over her face. This longing look of pain told me when she was thinking of them, of her best friend. I had to get her back to them. No matter what it cost me, it was the least I could do.
"You're a good kid Noah, you'll be just fine" his firm grip on my shoulder made me go ridged.
"Thanks?"
He laughed at this. I was not used to any kind of praise, and it showed. Releasing his grip, he held his hand out. Shaking it, I hoped that he was right, because right now there was only one place I wanted to be, only one person I wanted to see. She made me more than okay, Valentina Borroni made me feel perfect. Well, as perfect as the devil can be, I suppose.
I wonder if I could get a shirt made with Diablo written on it, I could wear it for her. Actually, scrap that, I'd rather wear nothing at all when I was around her. Fuck whoever was around. If they didn't like a little skin, that was their problem. As soon as she looked at my tattoos, she practically became a quivering mess of Sneaks on the floor. I loved it. The way that she reacted to me.
Leaving the station behind, I made my way to the only place I knew to find her, the music store, with one of the biggest smiles on my face. Life may have rained a shower of shit down onto me, but if I got her out of it all. God, I would do it a hundred times over.
Only the store was shut with a handwritten sign taped to the glass door 'Closed due to personal reasons,' and then the next day, her brother told me to pretty much to get the fuck out of town. That she didn't want to see me. I could see through his bravado, though, he had the same little tells as his sister when she was lying. Flared nostrils, unblinking eyes and a small twitch on the left corner of the mouth. Classic Borroni tells, so it seems.
He was worried about his sister and wanted to keep me away in hopes it would take away any of the bad memories she had of our time together. In one way, I respected this, but I was also not going to let him stop me from seeing her, from making her mine. So, I continued to go to the store at the same time, every other day, sometimes every day. Because deep down, I knew that she would come back to it sooner to later. And knowing Sneaks, it would be a lot earlier than the rest of her family would be ready for. No, I would keep coming back until she told me herself not to. Hell, I would probably still keep coming back even then. Wear her down until she let me stay. Maybe I should go shirtless. That seems to work in my favor when it came to her.
At that thought an idea came to me, and with a big smile on my face I made my way to a tattoo parlor. Anyone who passed me must have thought I had lost my damn mind, hell I probably had, but not one part of me gave a single damn.
My fingers skimmed over the article Jack had found. I was unable to take my eyes off the image as small flashes of memories from when I was a kid took over my thoughts. Mom had been having an affair with Marco Hartman, her husbands adopted brother. He was my father and looking down at the photograph of him, it was like looking at a photo of myself. The same shade of blond hair, gray eyes, and tan identical smirk on his lips. No wonder Nicolas Hartman hated looking at me, I was a carbon copy of this man.
"Are you going to reach out to him?"
"I don't know Jack, he hasn't been around since we were kids" if he wanted to be in my life, he would have been, in any capacity.
"What if" Clearing his throat "What if he threatened him?"
This had crossed my mind and a part of me even suspected he had him harmed or even killed him. One quick internet search showed that he was living in France with his wife and three daughters, my half-sisters.
"There is someone more important I have to find first" find was not technically accurate, I just had to see her.
"You know, you have the money, you could just find out where she lives," My brother groaned, picking up one of the last boxes out of the apartment. I couldn't stay here any longer between the bad memories of what had happened that night with my, well the man who is not my father. Then there was the endless stream of reporters and paparazzi. I put most of my stuff into storage and moved into my brother's spare bedroom for now.
"I already did that. She hasn't gone back to her apartment" I had waited outside for almost an entire day, but there was no movement from inside and no sign of any lights when the sky turned dark. No, she was not staying in her apartment, which told me she was more than likely at her parent's house.
"So, where is she?"
"Her parents, probably."
"So, get their address."
"Her brother doesn't want me around. I'm guessing that her parents probably feel the same way, and she'll come back to the store. I know it" how could I rock up at her parent's house if she really didn't want to see me?
A small amount of doubt had started to creep into my thoughts, the longer I went without seeing her. If I turned up and actually did not want to see me, it would panic her, and I didn't want that. The store was neutral ground, kind of.
"I think you're losing it, brother."
Throwing two fingers up at him, I closed the door to my old apartment and let out a sigh. Every part of me was ready to start my new life. All I was missing washer by my side, my Sneaks.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Valentina
Standing at the entrance of the store, my store, I felt uneasy. Not because of what I had been through, not because of everywhere I went people stared, knowing what had happened to me, to Noah. I missed him more than I should, I knew that, but I felt like a part of me was missing without him here. Without him besides me, irritating me to no end.
My family and Allie, they all took my quietness and sadness down to what I had been through. None of them knew that in reality, the reason I was so sad, the reason I cried myself to sleep every night was that it turns out after sleeping beside the man for weeks, months, I now couldn't sleep without him wrapped around me. He had stopped the dreams.
At least when we had been together, I had never dreamt of being tied up in that asylum. In these dreams, I could feel just how tight those cable ties had been around my wrists, breaking into my skin every time that I moved. Looking down at the scars that had begun to fade, my thumb ran over my wrist. Just like he did when he held onto me. The small bangles Allie had given me to cover the scars jangled as I moved. I felt like she had put a bell around my wrists like pet owners put on their animals’ collars.
All I wanted was to see him, touch him. Get him to make the dreams stop.
Sometimes I would find myself daydreaming about what had happened to us. It always felt like I was still there, in the very moment with him.
Instead of walking into the store, I turned away and almost ran without so much as another glance. No destination in mind, I just let my feet carry me away.
This was the first time I had been alone, really alone since before going shopping with Allie, the day we had been kidnapped.
With a shock, I found myself on the subway with
no recollection of getting on there. My new cell phone began vibrating in my purse, and on pulling it out. I shouldn't have been surprised to see my brother's name flashing on the screen. Sliding to answer, I flinched at his voice.
"Where the fuck are you?" Cringing, I felt terrible instantly, he had been getting us coffees from the coffee house around the corner and I had just disappeared on him. Instead of waiting to get back to the store, I had ran.
"I'm sorry, I just need to go somewhere. I'll be back soon." Looking at the train I was on, my goal became clear. As if my subconscious had known my destination before I even did.
"No way, get your ass back here now before I come and get you, Valentina."
"Ed, please just let me have one hour to myself." Please.
"This is a bad idea." He was wavering, I could tell.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
"I am allowed one hour alone, Eduardo, I'm an adult, and I know what has happened has scared you, but I can do what I want to do, without anyone else's permission."
As I spoke, an elderly lady sat down opposite me and her eyes widened as she recognized me. Probably from the news or the papers. The faces of mine, Noah, his father and the other victims from over the years, had been burnt into most of the country, hell the world's minds, let alone the New Yorkers.
"You can go back to the house."
Absolutely not going to happen.
I was finally out of my parent's house and knowing my mom I would have to endure some more of that cooking as soon as I stepped back through that red door to their brownstone.
"How is that being alone? If you guys would just let me move back to my apartment..."
"Don't do this again, V. It is not the time for that yet." I had told him that I wanted to go back, and he had begged and begged me not to say anything to our parents. Telling me that they weren't ready for that, even if I thought I was.
He was treating me like a baby, and I was getting bored with it. Even if I understood the reason for it, I couldn't help but be a little annoyed. It was only natural.
"One hour" was all I said. They might not be ready for me to go back to my own home, but I was. I needed space to think. I needed to find Noah. Was he missing me at all?
"You keep your phone in your hand at all times, and if you need anything, you call me straight away."
"Yes, Dad," I deadpanned before hanging up. Refusing to look at the woman who was staring at me like I was a primetime television show.
Standing still, looking up at the building before me, I was nervous. It had been the last place that I had been with him, with Noah. Taking a deep breath, I finally moved my feet, stepping inside the apartment building. However, I was left more than disappointed.
He had moved.
The apartment was empty.
With no way of contacting him, I shrunk back onto the subway and headed back to the store. The cloud over my head that little heavier, one shade darker than it already had been.
Maybe I could go to the Hartman Inc. office? But then I remembered the news report I'd seen when my parents thought I had been in bed. On the news, they had said that the company was being dissolved, and the smaller companies were being given control back with no financial repercussions. This had the Noah I knew written all over it. He gave people back the power of what they had worked hard for and lost, all because of his father. Well, I guess technically he wasn't. But Noah was atoning for Nicolas Hartman's actions. Trying to give people what they deserved. I knew he was a good person, even when he wound me up as much as possible to the point that I wasn't sure if I wanted to jump his bones or break them.
Where are you, Noah?
Do you miss me as much as I miss you?
"Oh, thank god," Eduardo came running over to me as soon as I stepped in through the shop's door, wrapping his big arms so tightly around my body I felt like I was about to lose consciousness. I had only been gone just a little over an hour.
"Calm down, I'm fine." My voice sounded sad, although I don't think he even noticed the difference in it. I hadn’t been able to find him, and it killed me inside.
"V, you are anything but fine. I convinced our parents to let you come to the store today because I promised not to let you out of my sight." Glancing back outside, I saw some of the reporters still on the hunt for an exclusive interview about everything that had happened. They were not going to be getting one from me. The things that had happened were not going to be glorified by the media any further than they already had.
Thinking about Noah's father, I began to panic. I would likely have to go to court at some point. How was I going to get through that without him?
How had I not thought about that before now?
"Well, what they don't know won't hurt them," I grumbled, pulling my small cross-body purse over my head.
"Seriously?" He turned his back to me, dropping his head onto his elbows on the counter. "Val, did you have any idea what they, what we all went through? Please just don't go running off like that again without at least saying something to someone".
"What, I am almost twenty-nine years old, Ed" The heat in the store was making me get too warm in my leather jacket, so slipping my arms out of it, I continued, "I am going to go back to my own apartment soon enough" I couldn't handle living with them much longer.
In reality I had been ready to go home for a few days now, but how did I bring it up to my parents? My mom spent hours just standing at the door to my childhood bedroom watching me lay in bed. While I faked sleep, unwilling to let the dreams in. Wishing that it had been someone else standing at the door. It was killing me. I never imagined that when I was finally able to be back home, back with my family. That I would be wishing that I was back in some seedy motel, back in that forest or hell just sitting in the passenger seat of a car. All just so I could be back with him in any way possible. My soul felt like it was breaking every day, hell, with every hour that passed.
"I'm going to hang in the back" was all I could muster to say to my brother. He was still leaning on the counter with his head in his hands.
Maybe coming here today had been a mistake. Perhaps I should have just stayed at my parent's house?
Maybe what I should have done was continued with my search for him when I arrived at the empty apartment. I wonder if I could sneak back out of the store when he was busy with a customer. Hell, if he was with someone, I could just walk past and say 'see ya later.'
What would he do?
Jump over the counter like he was in some kind of action film? Actually, knowing Eduardo, he might do that.
Dropping down into one of the swivel chairs we had in the backroom that was half a storeroom and half an office. I pulled out my phone and began yet another fruitless search on Facebook, Instagram, hell I was even trying twitter to try and find Noah.
It was no use though he didn't seem to have any social media profiles at all.
Which both shocked and surprised me.
Maybe he was hiding from the media attention as well. He must have been getting it ten times more than I was. After all, as far as the rest of the world was concerned, it was his father, this criminal contract murderer they wanted to find everything out about. One day soon they would forget all about me. I was just someone who was unlucky enough to get caught up in it.
Stepping back into the shop front from the back room over an hour later, my entire body froze. Not only because of what I saw but, more importantly, from what I could hear.
He was here.
Noah.
My brother's broad back was to me, blocking my view of him, but he was here. He was in the store.
Moving so I could see them side-on, I was surprised when neither of them noticed my movements.
He looked so good, dressed in a simple white t-shirt, blue jeans, and a black leather jacket. Damn, he looked so freaking good.
Swallowing the excess saliva in my mouth from just seeing him, I
noticed the pained expression on his face for the first time. Something was wrong. Is that why he was here?
"Look," Eduardo's voice sounded panicked, "I don't know why you keep coming back. I've already told you she doesn't want to see you" wait. What? "You need to stop coming here, or I'm going to have to call the cops. She needs to get over what happened, and you hanging around is not going to let her do that".
Wait, kept coming back?
Devil In The Elevator: A Hartman Romance Page 20