by Cee, DW
My body didn’t want to leave. My movements were slow and my heart couldn’t fathom her absence.
“Where are you sleeping tonight? Are you at your mom’s or at your place?”
“I might stay in town to be near you.” I still hadn’t gotten off the couch. She pulled me up with her. “Can’t I stay just a bit longer?”
“No. If you stay any longer, I may not allow you to leave.” She flashed a sly grin. “You need to leave now.”
“Emily,” I whined but followed obediently. “I have Saturday off. You want to go have brunch and watch a movie?”
“Yes, now leave,” she commanded.
I got to Emily’s house early on Saturday, eager to start our official second date. When I rang the doorbell, Emily, of course, was still in her pajamas.
“Perhaps I should invest in a set of keys for you so you won’t wake me up every Saturday and Sunday morning.” Emily looked groggy. I had woken her up with my text around 3:00 a.m. saying good night to her. She heard the text and jokingly scolded me.
“I’d love a set of keys. Does that mean I can come and go as I please?”
“No. It was a joke.”
“Maybe later?” I hoped.
“Probably not.” She smiled and hopped in the shower.
I walked around her house staring at pictures and books that decorated her home. Sometime during our date today I wanted to ask her about her parents and why she was living alone in this home. Possibly today, I could give her this eternity band and formally ask her to be my girlfriend. I wanted the world to know that she was exclusively mine. I didn’t want any Dr. Ericksons attempting to ask her out again.
Giving her a ring hopefully wouldn’t scare her off. I’d never given any girl something so serious before. In all the years I dated Kelley, I’d never given her a present with so much commitment attached to it. Kelley probably would’ve been happier if I had committed more but she couldn’t grab my heart the way Emily did from the moment I saw her.
Thinking back, I guess I had dated a lot of girls. Kelley was my longest relationship but we were so on and off. She and I couldn’t make up our minds. We didn’t know where we wanted our relationship to head. Then there were the few doctors and nurses I dated at the hospital. What a mistake that was. I watched and worked with my mistake daily. Most recently there was Allison. Talk about a mistake. That was the biggest.
Allison was Jane’s roommate when Jane was living up north. She wasn’t shy about wanting to date me. She constantly called me and sent me gifts. She had moved down to LA a few months ago and showed up at my doorstep one night. Though Emily was the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on, Allison, the fashion model, was tempting.
Having fallen into temptation, we went out on a few dates. Actually, we didn’t go out much. We spent many nights together but soon I ended our so-called relationship. She wasn’t happy, but I was relieved. I wondered how many men Emily had dated. If she dated this Max for four years, there couldn’t have been too many other men in her life. That thought was even more troublesome.
I knew little about Emily. She told me she didn’t date around, and she liked being with one man. This probably meant she was deeply in love with Max. He probably devastated her when he dumped her. What an idiot. I couldn’t wait to see what he looked like. I was sure our paths would cross one day. I couldn’t imagine letting go of someone as special as Emily, especially not after four years with her. It upset me to think of Emily being with another man.
“What are you sighing about?” Emily walked out looking stunning in a yellow sundress.
“I was wondering how much longer you were going to take.”
“Jake? Do you think we can invite Charlie and Sarah to join us today?”
Though I was a bit disappointed we wouldn’t spend this day alone, I was happy to oblige. “Sure.”
“I know you want us to be alone and we will…there will be plenty more time for that. Charlie and Sarah have always invited me to spend some part of the weekend with them. They know how much I hate being alone. You would think I’d be used to it by now, but it still bothers me. They’ve really been like parents to me, taking care of me when they can.”
I appreciated them for taking care of Emily for me. I would prove to them that they can be at peace about passing the torch on to me.
“I’d like to invite them to spend a weekend with me…I mean us. Would that be OK?”
“Of course. Give them a call.”
“Good because I already did. They’re meeting us in an hour.” She looked pleased. “Let’s head out. We can walk around the marina before we meet them.”
We got in my car, and her face lit up when she heard the Carmen opera CD I had picked up after a performance at the Met Opera House in New York a few months ago. This was the second time I noticed this wistful look in her eyes. The first time she showed it was when talking about French Laundry. It occurred to me, these must be places she wanted to visit or activities she wanted to do.
So far, I’d uncovered Emily’s three faces. The first and most appealing was her angelic face. She was kind and funny and gracious. From the day I met her, her concern was for others first, and then herself. Next was the sad face that appeared whenever she talked about being alone. Though she didn’t show this face too often, whenever it appeared, I wanted to tell her I would be the one to erase her loneliness. The last was this wistful look. This look made me sad knowing there were so many opportunities she didn’t have being alone in this world—but happy knowing I could be the one to show her these experiences. That’s what I wanted to do—help fulfill all of her wishes.
“You’re not on call today, are you?”
“Does going out with me make you paranoid?”
“Kind of…I mean, it’s OK if you are. I know it’s your work and you save lives on a daily basis. A date with me is no comparison to the important work you do.”
“Emily, being with you has become the most important part of my life these days. I could give up saving lives but I don’t know that I can give up spending time with you.”
Her head tilted downward again. Maybe it was a little too serious? I basically told her she was the most important person in my life. Her eyes looked excited by my confession, yet I sensed hesitation in her face.
“Jake, look. Sarah and Charlie are here early too.” I grabbed her hand before she could run off to them. “Hi, guys!”
“Hi, Emily. Hi, Jake,” Sarah greeted us.
“Hey. Let’s sit and grab drinks before we start our meal,” I suggested.
We sat, and Charlie turned to Emily with a chuckle in his eyes. “My sister keeps calling to tell me that Tom Erickson wants to take you out.” Charlie started laughing.
“Eew! You can tell him I said get lost! I’ve been screening all his calls.”
“Jake, you need to watch out or Emily’s going to get snatched out from under you.” Charlie sounded like he was about to warn me about Emily’s appeal to men.
“Huh? What does that mean?”
“Oh, only that she gets asked out by men everywhere we go. No matter where we are or who she’s with, some man will come up and ask her for her number. It’s her innocent look. Men seem to love it,” Sarah explained.
“You two are so exaggerating the truth. They only ask me out because they see you guys attached at the hips, or lips, and I’m always by myself.”
“Max used to get furious! We’d be on a double date and somehow some man would corner Emily and ask her out before Max realized what was going on.”
“Charlie, that only happened once.”
“You know, I think Charlie and Sarah are right. The first night I met you, all three guys in the ER asked you out. Then the next day, you got asked out at the birthday party. Do I need to keep you locked up in your house?”
“Let’s move on to another topic. What did you and Charlie do last night?” Emily and Sarah started their own conversation while Charlie e
xplained to me about his job at the architecture firm.
“Oh, we went out with…” I heard Sarah hesitate. “Charlie ran into Peter, and they decided to go out for drinks, which led to dinner for all of us—Charlie, me, Peter, Max, and Jennifer.”
There was a mixture of sadness and discomfort in Emily’s disposition. I tried not to let her notice my stare, but it disturbed me that her ex had such a hold on her.
“How’s Peter doing? He must be very mad at me. I haven’t called him since last June. What am I going to do when I see him again?”
Charlie leaned over to explain that Peter was Max’s best friend and loved Emily like a sister.
“Yeah, he’s livid with you.” The intonation of Sarah’s voice sounded like he wasn’t mad at all. “You should call him, he misses you.”
“Yeah, I miss him too.” I waited for the next obvious question. “How’s Max?” she meekly asked.
“I don’t know. I didn’t talk to him or her the whole night,” Sarah huffed.
“Sarah, he’s your friend. Just because he broke up with me doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with him. And why are you being mean to Jennifer? She’s done nothing wrong.”
“Emily, how can you think anything nice about him after what he’s done to you?”
Now I was really curious as to what this guy had done that was so wrong.
“Sarah, let’s not get into this now.” Charlie gave Sarah a look of warning, probably because of me, which made Sarah stop immediately.
I put my hand over Emily’s, and she gazed at me and smiled. There was a broken heart in that smile.
“Shall we go eat?” Emily asked.
“Sure, let’s go,” I answered, hoping to change the mood.
We walked through the garden toward the dining area when unexpectedly my pager went off. Emily looked at me, disappointed.
“I’m not on call today. There’s no reason for the pager to go off.” I immediately looked at the phone number. “It’s the chief. He must have some personal issue he needs to talk about. Grab your food and I’ll meet you back at the table.”
“Is it OK if I stay with you?”
“Of course,” I answered stealing a kiss from her. She smiled and brought her body close to mine. Happily she put her arms around my waist and leaned into my chest.
“Hey, Chief. Why are you bothering me on my day off?”
“Jake, I’m sorry to do this to you but you’re going to have to fly to Atlanta for me today.”
“What? Why?”
“The president of the hospital board just got hospitalized after having a heart attack. I need to go into surgery right now. I’m sending you my keynote address. You will have to present it for me at the conference. My assistant emailed your plane ticket and everything else you need. I’m sorry, Jake. I know you’re with Emily, but there’s no one else I can trust to give this address but you.”
“All right.” Another date interrupted. What was I going to tell Emily?
“You need to leave.” Again a statement rather than a question—she knew the drill. I feared she may never want to go out with me again.
While checking my email, I held her tight and couldn’t look her in the eye. “How will I prove to you this is not what it will always be like? I have to leave you again. The chief needs me to go to Atlanta for him. I’m sorry.” I begged for understanding.
“What time is your flight?”
“It’s at 1:00 p.m.”
“I guess we’ll have to leave now.” She wasn’t angry, she wasn’t happy, she was matter-of-fact.
“Why don’t you stay with Sarah and Charlie?”
“Can I go with you? We can be together a bit longer. I’ll bring your car to my house then pick you up from the airport when you get back. When do you think you’ll be back?”
“Possibly tomorrow if all goes well with Chief’s surgery.”
“All right, let’s go.”
I apologized to Sarah and Charlie, and we rushed to the airport. Mom called while we were in the car and asked me to put her on speakerphone, so she could converse with Emily.
“Hi, Emily! I’m thrilled to finally meet you. Jake talks about you constantly.”
“Hello, Mrs. Reid. It’s very nice to meet you too.”
“Please, call me Sandy. You must be upset your date got interrupted again.”
“Yeah. I’m beginning to think Jake starts the day thinking he wants to go out with me, but then has the hospital page him when he realizes I’m not much fun.”
“Emily…” I complained.
“I apologize for my son.”
“Let me talk now.” Aunt Barbara sounded like she was running from the other side of the room.
“Hi, Emily. I’m Jake’s Aunt Barbara.”
“Hi, Aunt Barbara. It’s nice to meet you.”
“When will you be visiting Sandy’s house? We’re all dying to see what you look like. Jake has put you on a very high pedestal. Will we see you before Thanksgiving?”
“Thanksgiving?” Emily asked, confused.
“I forgot to tell you I’m taking you to Aunt Babs’ for Thanksgiving.”
“Uh-oh. I’m sorry, Aunt Barbara, but Jake never told me about Thanksgiving. I have plans already to go back East to my best friend’s parents’ house. We just made all the arrangements yesterday.”
Both my mom and Aunt Babs scolded me. “Jake!”
“Really? You’re not spending Thanksgiving with me?” That bummed me out.
“You never mentioned Thanksgiving. I didn’t want to presume.” Did this girl still not get how much I liked her?
I hung up on my mom and Aunt Babs without saying good-bye.
“Why didn’t you ask me before making plans with Sarah?” I was a bit upset with her. This was my chance to show her off to my family. I had only told all of them this was the girl I was going to marry.
“What was I to ask? Um…will you be taking me to your aunt’s home for Thanksgiving? Jake, we’ve seen each other a handful of times in the last three weeks, and most of those times were interrupted by your pager. I’m not going to make any assumptions about us. If you wanted to take me to meet your family, you should have asked.” Everything she said made complete sense, but I was still upset. I stopped talking so I could clear my head. I did this whenever something made me mad. If I continued to talk, hurtful words generally came out of my mouth that would get me into trouble later. If I stopped talking, at least I wouldn’t say anything stupid. Emily stayed quiet as well.
I had so little time to spend with this girl and I wasted our ride to the airport keeping my mouth shut. I regretted my action the entire ride but couldn’t break the silence. Without asking, I parked the car in the lot so Emily could walk in with me.
“What will you do about clothes and toiletries? Do you need me to send you anything if you end up staying longer than a day?” She was always looking out for me. The selfish being that I was, all I thought about was how I felt. I didn’t stop to wonder how she was feeling right now.
Timidly, she leaned against my car wondering where my mood would take us. Holding her hands I caught a glimpse of fear in her eyes. That look gave me a swift kick in the gut.
“I’m very sorry for getting upset with you earlier. You were right. I had no right to assume you were coming with me, and I had no right to assume you needed to ask my permission before doing anything. And most of all, I’m sorry I wasted our precious time in silence.”
Emily continued to stay quiet. I held her hand all the way to the boarding area in silence.
“Are you OK?” She still didn’t look at me. “Did I make you mad?”
“No, I’m not mad.” She said this, but I couldn’t trust the tone in which she said it.
“What are you thinking about?”
“You and me.” I definitely didn’t like the way she said you and me instead of us.
“What about us?” I needed to get this answer from her b
efore boarding the plane. It would drive me crazy the whole flight to Atlanta if I didn’t get a satisfactory answer.
“I was just contemplating if there can be an us.” That did it. We needed to talk.
Last call for passengers boarding flight #1311 heading to Atlanta. Please board Gate A. Last call. The flight attendant called.
“You better go in. Let me know when you’re coming back. I’ll come pick you up.”
“We need to have a talk as soon as I get back, OK?”
She nodded her head yes but shied away from my kiss.
Frustrated, I left Emily for Atlanta.
Chapter 5
Who is This Keeping Us Apart?
Chief never made it to Atlanta and the conference kept me busier than expected. Emily and I tried to communicate but she had an unusually busy week as well. I had hoped to be home on Wednesday, but Chief asked me to stay till Friday so my flight would land me back at LAX early Saturday morning.
Finally, Emily was calling. “Hi, Sweetheart!”
“Hi. I was calling to see if I should cancel Bacara. We don’t have to go this weekend and Sarah and Charlie won’t care either way.”
“No. I want to spend some time with you before you go on your trip with Sarah. When do you leave, and when do you get back?”
“Sunday to Sunday.”
“Is Charlie going too?”
“No, it’s just us.”
“That’s an awful long time.”
“Not any longer than your trip to Atlanta.” Of course she had to add this. “Sarah and I are spending Sunday through Wednesday in New York then going over to her parents’ in New Jersey.”
I was going to have to spend another week without her. With the ending we had at the airport, I was worried about being away from her for so long.
“Do you want to stay at Jane’s apartment while you’re in New York? She comes home Monday, but you can use the apartment if you want. I’ll have my mom bring over a set of keys.”
“No, that’s OK. We have a hotel reserved. When do you come home, Jake?”