by Cee, DW
I looked up from my bite. “Of course! When is it?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? How come you’re asking me now? What if I’m working tomorrow night?”
“If you’re working, we don’t have to go. I didn’t go last year either. Sarah and Charlie are forcing me to go this year, because they are involved with the planning.”
“Will your ex and his girlfriend be there? Is that why you don’t want to go?”
“Kind of…I’m such a chicken, huh? I’m still not mentally ready to see him or his new girl. I’d be totally fine if you didn’t want to go.”
“Emily, let’s go and get this over with. I’m perturbed that you’re still bothered by your ex. Maybe you’re not over him.” I put down my utensils and confronted Emily, though this was not my intention. She looked startled.
“I am over him! I just don’t want to see him,” was Emily’s defense.
“If you don’t like him anymore, why is it so hard for you to see him again?”
“I don’t know. I’m afraid to see him. I don’t want to remember the hurtful memories of our last day.” Emily’s eyes watered and this angered me further. Here was a girl I wanted to marry and she was still crying at the memory of her ex-boyfriend. I knew she hurt easily and teared readily and I should have been more understanding but this only fueled my frustration.
“Emily. From the day I met you, every time Max’s name came up, your expression turned gloomy and your eyes flooded with water. How are we to progress if you can’t let go of your past?” I regretted my words as soon as they came out.
“Have you never loved someone so much that when it was over you felt like your life was over too? Well, that was me with Max. He broke my heart into so many pieces it’s still not back together again. Honestly, I don’t love him anymore, but I can’t say I don’t still hurt. I don’t know when this hurt will stop.”
Her response borderline enraged me. I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. “What about me? What about us?” My tone was harsh.
“Jake, I like you very much but we just started getting to know each other. You really do have a way with making me feel so special. And I was telling you the truth when I said I feel empty when you’re not with me. But please understand, Max was with me every day for four years. All those memories are hard to erase so quickly.”
“So quickly? It’s been a year and a half already. Emily, I don’t think you want to forget. If that’s the case, what am I doing here?” I got up to leave mid-dinner.
“Jake, please don’t go.” She held my hand and followed me to the door. “Can’t we talk this through? I’m not in love with him anymore, I have no desire to be with Max, and I’m working on letting go of all the hurt. Can’t you give me a little more time? You and I met suddenly and whatever it is that we have right now blossomed much quicker than I expected.”
“What do you mean whatever it is that we have? Are we not in a relationship?”
She looked at me with tears flowing in her eyes again. This time the tears were a result of my words. This had nothing to do with her ex. “I don’t know what we are in. We’ve never sat down to talk about us. Every time I think it might happen, you get called away.”
“So, it’s back to being my fault. Emily, I can’t win with you. Let’s talk later. I’m going to leave.” I let go of her hand and walked out the door. As I peeked in her window while driving the car around I saw that she hadn’t left her spot. I shouldn’t have said all those things to her. She was right. We hadn’t talked about our relationship. That was the reason for the ring—to solidify our commitment. I thought about going back to her and telling her how much I loved her, but the damage had been done.
I got home and found her text waiting for me.
I’m very sorry. I wish you hadn’t left. I miss you.
Terrible was an understatement for what I felt before reading her text and now I felt even worse. Why had I done this to her? She was only being honest telling me where her heart was at. I couldn’t blame her for not feeling as strongly as I did. Needing to make things right, I called her immediately. There was no answer. A minute later I called again. She still didn’t answer.
Emily, where are you? Why aren’t you answering your phone?
She took much longer than usual to answer her text.
I’m home.
Why aren’t you answering your phone?
Because…
My heart broke and my stomach turned. I had made her cry again. This was probably why she wasn’t answering her phone.
Emily, are you crying?
There was no answer again.
Emily, I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have walked out on you. Do you want me to come over right now? Can we talk?
I think I’m going to turn in for the night. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. You don’t have to go with me tomorrow night if you are busy. I will go by myself. You were right. I need to face Max at some point and move on with my life. I’m sure the first time is the hardest.
I will come pick you up around six. Can I shower and get ready at your place?
Sure, but you really don’t have to take me. I promise. I will attend with or without you.
Good night, Sweetheart. I’m sorry I left you alone. I miss you too.
Good night.
Right on time I parked outside her house to find the lights off and her car absent. My texts and calls went unreturned, so I worried that she was still hurt by my actions last night. Wanting to wait for her inside but holding off a few more minutes I replayed last night’s conversation. Tonight we would discuss our relationship, and I would get this ring on her and show her where I would like for us to head.
Finally, her car pulled into the driveway, and she almost stumbled out of her car in excitement. She beamed a most stunning smile when our eyes met. Beautiful!—The only word that aptly described this woman in my life. Trusting she wasn’t upset anymore I walked over to greet her.
“Hi, Jake. I’m so happy to see you. Have you been waiting long? I wish you would have called me,” was her welcome.
“Hi, Beautiful. You look stunning.” I didn’t think it could be possible for her to look any better. “Do you not have your phone on you? I called and texted all day but you never answered. You had me worried.”
“Sorry. I guess I forgot my phone at home. I’m so happy you’re here.” She stopped to hug me. It made me feel wanted and appreciated but a little guilty that she was so happy to see me. “Let’s go in. You can use the guest room to get ready.”
“Did you not believe me last night when I said I was coming to pick you up at six?”
A peculiar smile donned my beauty’s face. It looked like she didn’t believe me but was trying to play it off.
“Well?” I pushed a little harder for a truthful answer.
“Go in and get dressed,” was all I got as she pointed to the guest bathroom. I let it go for now.
We both walked out at the same time, and my date was a picture of perfection. “You look amazing,” I declared, putting my arms around her. She had a funny guilt-ridden look on her face. Maybe she felt bad about last night’s conversation. We needed to work through last night’s argument once this evening was done. Tonight, I really needed to give her this ring and have us commit to one another.
“You look pretty amazing yourself. I’m going to have to fight off all the ladies in the ballroom,” she teased. With Max attending this event, there was not a chance I would be with anyone but Emily. My eyes would not let this beautiful girl out of my sight.
We walked to my car, and I caught Emily staring at me in the most loving way. I’d not seen this look before. This look gave me a sense of hope that we would make it to the very end. I loved this girl immensely but she frustrated me with her response. Some days she responded as though she loved me just as much as I loved her, and some days I wondered if we would make it through the day.
We got to the hotel an
d walked into a large ballroom. “Emily!” was all I heard when, in the blink of an eye, I had lost my date to a group of ladies. Three women had pulled Emily away and they were whispering and giggling together. Emily looked my way and pulled me back to her side.
“Jake, this is Becca, Lizzy, and Christie. We have all been roommates at some point throughout my four years in undergrad.”
“Ladies, this is Jake,” Emily introduced us.
“Hello, Jake!” they all chorused in unison like those ER residents did to Emily. She was right. It was creepy.
“Hi.” I smiled and nodded politely.
“Jake, I’m going to go see Sarah and Charlie and get us checked in. Hang here with all the gals, will ya?” Emily said with a wink. Helpless, I had no choice but to talk to these women as Emily quickly walked away with a smirk on her face.
“So, Jake…what do you do for a living?” The girl with the red hair asked. I think she was Christie.
“I’m a doctor.”
“Ooh, what kind of doctor?” This time it was the blond girl who asked. Becca, possibly?
“I’m a heart surgeon.”
“Wow!” they chorused again.
“So how did you and Emily meet? When did you meet? Have you been dating long? Are you just friends? Are you two serious? Which hospital do you work at? I’d love to give you my number if you and Emily aren’t an item.” I got whiplash going back and forth listening to the onslaught of questions. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t say a word.
As they kept asking more questions, I realized these women were no different than those ER interns. Emily knew exactly what she was doing when she left me here alone. That was why she had that smirk on her face. I’d have to get her back for this one.
“Excuse me, ladies. I need to get back to my Emily.” With that I walked away and hurried toward Emily, who was talking to a group of people.
Rudely interrupting her conversation, I grabbed her from behind and forced my lips on hers. Stupefied, Emily tried to push me away as her cheeks turned many shades darker. Her eyes stayed wide open.
“Oh geez, Charlie, look. Those two are at it again,” Sarah responded with a happy sigh.
When I thought she’d had enough, I let go. Her ragged breath and flustered cast had Charlie, Sarah, and me in stitches.
“What was that?” she whispered, embarrassed to show her face.
“Payback.” I playfully threatened her. “Why did you run away and leave me with those women? If I have to spend any more time with those women, I’m going to take you back to the ER tonight.”
Emily understood and started cracking up. “You didn’t like my friends? I’m sure they liked you!”
“I missed you. Don’t leave my side tonight. I don’t want to be apart from you, OK?”
She nodded her head.
I realized many eyes were staring at us. “I’m sorry,” I said to Emily and her friends, “was I interrupting something?”
Emily now looked rattled. By the way she started stammering, I knew who this guy was.
“No…This is Max. Max…this is Jake.”
I put out my hand. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you, Max.”
“Nice meeting you too.” Max sounded agitated. “And this is my girlfriend, Jennifer.”
Emily was not included as Max introduced Jennifer to the people around him. I felt Emily grab my hand and stand slightly behind me. I knew she was hurting, thinking about Jennifer, who took over her position so soon after Emily had vacated it. Timidly she stayed behind me. She wanted to be protected, and I would be her protector.
“Let’s go see where we’re sitting. We’ll see you all later,” I called out and took Emily away from the spotlight. Stepping away from the crowd, I wanted to make sure Emily wasn’t tearing as she so easily does.
“Emily, are you OK?” Attempting to sound more comforting than annoyed, I saw her crinkled face change into a weak grin.
“Yes. I’m OK. Are you sorry you came tonight? Isn’t this what you didn’t want to see—me being rattled by the sight of Max and his new girlfriend?”
“You seemed more rattled by watching the rest of our reactions. Emily, seeing you anxious doesn’t make me happy, and I have to apologize to you for my behavior last night. There was no reason for me to be so angry, and I definitely shouldn’t have walked out on you and our dinner. I’m all right seeing you and Max together. Can we let this go for now and have a long overdue talk when this function is over?”
I assumed her responsive kiss was a yes.
“Let’s go meet some of my friends. I see them at our table.” She sounded happy again. “One more thing, Max and Jennifer are at our table. I hope you don’t mind. Sarah and Charlie thought it would be funny to have us all together. I’m sorry.” I didn’t care who we sat with but Emily sounded annoyed.
In my meanest tone I told her, “I’ll have a talk with them later tonight.”
She giggled.
We went on to meet more friends. Emily let go of my hand and hugged one of her friends longingly. I could tell by her face that this was her dear friend, Peter. He too seemed to have missed my Emily very much. She tugged me over toward him.
“Peter, I want you to meet my date. This is Jake. Jake, this is Peter, my friend, my quasi brother.”
“It’s nice meeting you, Jake. When did you and Emily start dating? She never told us she was seeing someone.” He ended our conversation aiming the question at Emily. She answered with an innocent smile.
“Emily and I started dating a couple of months ago,” I answered.
“Oh, that’s not very long.” The way he said these words was a bit peculiar. I couldn’t grasp his hidden meaning.
“No, I wish we could see more of each other but due to my work schedule we date when possible. If I could, I’d spend every day with her.” I looked over at Emily and winked.
She shook her head and mouthed, “I don’t believe you!”
I forced another public display of affection on her and answered back, “I’d spend every waking and sleeping moment with you if it were possible.”
Peter looked uncomfortable. Emily turned red again and walked to the next table to talk to her friends, probably fearful of any more sudden attacks.
I found out tonight that Peter was a second-year med student, and Max was in his first year. We enthusiastically talked about the classes he was taking and the hardships of medical school. His bemoaning reminded me of those arduous years with no end in sight. Medical school faired easy when compared to residency. Looking at my life now, residency faired even easier when I thought about the long hours I worked—especially the hours that kept me away from Emily. Peter had no idea what he was in for after med school was done.
The emcee called for a first dance so I excused myself and went over to pick up my love. Charlie and Sarah waltzed over to us immediately.
“Hey, Jake!”
“I don’t know if I should be saying hello to both of you for putting us at the same table as Max and Jennifer. Are you trying to help us or tear us apart?” Of course I was kidding.
“We are only trying to show you off to Max,” Sarah answered. “I want him to know Emily is doing very well without him.”
“Sounds great to me!” I answered enthusiastically.
Emily didn’t sound as happy as she squinted her eyes at her best friend and said, “Great. Thanks!” She then moved us away calling out, “See you later.”
With no one else to bother us, I pulled Emily into my body as close as possible. Six weeks of dating coupled with my hectic schedule and Emily’s demure nature, I hadn’t done more than kissed this girl. Bewildered, I couldn’t figure out whether our lack of physical progress was due to Emily’s innocence, her lack of desire, or maybe even her lack of experience. She and Max had dated for four years so it couldn’t have been a lack of experience. I shuddered at the image of her and Max. Possibly we could talk about this tonight as well.
My l
ips started on her ear, slowly nibbling their way to the back of her neck, then across the cheek, and to her jaw. When I stopped at her lips she let out a quiet moan and her lips quivered as I covered them with my own. This was the passion I’d wanted to share with Emily and the reaction I’d been looking for. I showed her my plan of attack. She did not retreat. Enjoying her complete participation, our kiss deepened when my pager went off and broke our embrace.
“Damn! Not again!” I declared.
I looked guilty; she looked critical, but soon started to laugh. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll meet you back at the table,” she spoke, shaking her head. As she walked away I noticed Peter taking her back to the dance floor.
“Hey, Linda, did you page me?” I prayed Linda wouldn’t tell me I had to return.
“Dr. Reid, I thought I’d let you know your patient, Adam Chen, who got discharged this morning, came back in with chest pains.”
“Has Dr. Carter seen him?”
“Yes, but Mr. Chen has been asking for you. What shall I say?”
“Call me if the situation gets more serious. Otherwise, he’ll be in good care with Carter.”
“Will do.”
Hopefully I wouldn’t be needed anymore tonight. I walked back into the ballroom and found Emily in Max’s arms. Hurt and angry, I had to calm myself before going back to Emily. I couldn’t understand why she would be dancing with him. Last I saw, she was with Peter. What had happened? I needed to go to her and get an explanation.
“Ahem. May I cut in?” Max jerked away and Emily panicked. Instead of a guilty look, she had a look of fear in her eyes I had never seen before. My heart sank. She was afraid of me.
Her words faltering and her face filled with anxiety, she tried to explain herself. “Peter danced with me after you left and made me switch partners and told us to talk it out and…and…”