by Cee, DW
Gram had a nostalgic look in her eyes. “He didn’t say a word. Instead he kissed me passionately, and we spent our first night together.”
“Oh, Gram!” I was a bit grossed out. “I didn’t need to know that. Way too much information—though that was a beautiful story.”
“I wanted you to know this story because I believe true love has a way of finding itself no matter how long the separation. You’ll find her and when you do, don’t ever let her wonder whether you love her.”
“Thank you, Gram. I hope Emily has someone to comfort her during this time, as I have found comfort in you.” Despair entered my mind as I knew Emily had no one to ease her pain.
March, April, and most of May went by much too slowly. As Jane reminded me in our many conversations, I waited for Emily’s school year to be done. We both believed she would be home in June or at least let Jane know where she would be for the summer.
Against my wishes, Mom decided to throw me a birthday dinner, party, festivities, or whatever else it could be called. I woke up on my thirty-first birthday more depressed than ever. It was May 19 here, which meant it was the twentieth in Japan, and it was Emily’s birthday as well. She was spending it by herself in a foreign land. I hoped she had made some friends, but knowing my love, even if she had made friends, she wouldn’t let any of them know it was her birthday.
The chief and I came home early from work, and the party was in full swing already. There was a room full of family and friends, but I wished more than anything to be alone right now. I wasn’t in a celebratory mood. Gram called and I talked to her for a while, and Jane walked in the door and surprised me as well. I walked over to thank Mom for helping me through these difficult days. It was bittersweet every time I appreciated my family for their abundant love, because I was reminded of Emily who didn’t have any of this in her life.
The doorbell rang and I walked over to greet the mailman who delivered a couple of packages. One was from Gram, the other—it was from Emily! I ran up to my room and ripped open the package. She had sent me a letter and a gift.
May 10
Dear Jake,
Happy birthday! I did my best to have this reach you on your birthday. I hope I was successful. What did you do for your birthday? I guess it’s silly to ask since you can’t answer back.
I’ve been doing well here in Japan, and my Japanese has improved quite a bit. Have you ever visited Japan? It’s absolutely gorgeous here. The food, of course is heavenly. Do you know people here don’t eat as much sushi as they do in the States—though of course, I still eat it a lot.
I hope this has been a wonderful day for you. I’m sure your family has showered you with love and attention today. This probably wasn’t the best idea, but I’m sending you a gift. I found these cufflinks during my trip to Tokyo last week. I was at a department store when I noticed these beautiful pieces with your initials on them. What were the chances of that? I thought these would look nice with that blue shirt you were wearing the night we met at the grocery store. They will both bring out the beautiful blue in your eyes.
If you don’t like them, I understand. You gave me so many gifts while we were together I wanted to reciprocate in a very small way. I’m sorry I was always so selfish. I don’t think I ever gave you enough—whether materially or emotionally. I was always on the receiving end. Lucky me!
I wish we had spent more time together before we separated. There aren’t enough memories for me to think about when I’m here by myself. I guess we won’t be celebrating our birthdays together, huh? I had looked forward to our back-to-back celebrations. It will be difficult to spend those two days without you.
I’m sorry to be rambling about. It’s a bit tough being alone tonight. My mom died seven years ago today, and I wish I could be with her in Texas right now. I also wish you could be there with me. You always knew the right things to say to comfort me when I thought about my parents. I miss you, Jake.
Maybe when I return in a few years I’ll be lucky enough to run into you or perhaps fall into you at the grocery store again.
I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Please say hello to your family for me.
Emily
Even before I put her letter down, I wept like a child. After all I’d done to her, she never once blamed me but always blamed herself for our separation. I knew she would be by herself today. How difficult it must have been for her the day she wrote me this card. Oh, Emily. Please come home to me. What do you mean you’ll return in a few years? I can’t last much longer without you. I miss you, Love.
Chapter 15
Is This Someone’s Idea of a Cruel Joke?
My life—still barren from Emily’s absence—trudged along. I worked longer hours and participated in every family function whether or not I enjoyed it. Hope was placed in the summer. A time when Emily might come back home. During my morning rounds, I got an unexpected call from Dad.
“Hi, Dad. Did you need something?”
“Son, come home now! Emily’s here.”
I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. I didn’t ask any more questions but begged my dad to keep her there till I arrived. Without letting anyone know, I jumped into my car and got home within minutes.
“Where is she? Where’s Emily?” I frantically searched for her once I got in the door.
Mom’s face said it all. She had left already. “We tried to keep her here. We asked her to spend the night here with us, but she started crying and left. I’m sorry, Jake.”
“How could you let her go?” Frustrated, I yelled at my parents.
“We’re sorry, Son. We tried but we couldn’t do much when she started crying. She looked so heartbroken, we had to step back and give her some room.” My dad was visibly upset as well.
“Why is she here? Is she back home now? Should I go see her at her house?”
“She said she was only here till tomorrow. She’s here for her best friend’s wedding. This is why she stopped by.” Mom held up a clock and a book. Emily must have bought these in Japan for my parents.
“Do you know about her friend getting married? Can you find her there?”
So Charlie and Sarah were finally getting married. I was happy to hear Charlie proposed to the woman he loved and was about to embark on the rest of their lives together. I would have to figure out where they were getting married.
“Mom, I need to get back to the hospital. Do you think you can call around to local hotels and see if they have a wedding booked for a Charlie and Sarah this weekend?”
“Sure. I’ll call you the moment I figure out an answer.”
“Thank you, and I’m sorry I yelled at both of you.”
“That’s all right. Emily still loves you, but you’ve hurt her deeply. Go make things right, Jake,” Mom admonished.
I went over and hugged her. “I’m going to try the best I can.” My voice didn’t sound too hopeful.
Back at work, I tried to push my combined dread and excitement out of the way and worked hard to concentrate on my patients. Walking to the next person who needed my help, I saw a face I never in a million years thought I would welcome. Max. He was walking toward me and I about bowled him over with my enthusiasm.
“Max! What are you doing here?”
“I’m working here as of today till the end of summer when classes get back in full swing. How have you been doing? It’s good to see you.” He put out his hand and I shook it gladly.
“Do you have a moment? Can we talk?” I was sure Max heard the desperation in my voice.
“Sure. Have you talked to Emily?” Max knew I hadn’t but it was a formality he needed to respect.
“No. She hasn’t allowed me to contact her. Do you know where she is? Have you talked to her at all?”
“No, I haven’t talked to her either. She’s only written me letters. She hasn’t called nor will she send me a return address. She’s hidden herself really well.”
Comically, as much as
I wanted Max to tell me he knew of Emily’s whereabouts, I was glad he didn’t know. It would have killed me if they’d been communicating while I was in the dark.
“Can you tell how she’s doing? Has she written you a lot of letters?” That last question was a bit of a test. Secretly I hoped he’d say he only got a couple of letters like I had gotten.
“She wrote weekly.” That was not what I wanted to hear. “She addressed it to me but often wrote about you. She misses you.” Now that was what I wanted to hear. My hope resuscitated, Max continued. “I’m sorry I got between you two. I didn’t understand how much she was already in love with you. I didn’t think two months would solidify her future. I was wrong to think our past could revive our future. I should have realized earlier that it was long over between us.”
“I think it’s over with us as well. I hurt her badly. I don’t know if she’ll forgive me. Plus, she left believing I didn’t love her anymore. She’s probably let go of her feelings by now.” I sighed again thinking about my grim future without Emily.
“If I read my letters correctly, she hurts but is still in love with you. Come to Sarah and Charlie’s wedding tomorrow and find out for yourself. Em is the maid of honor. They’re getting married at the Biltmore.”
Finally! I would see her tomorrow. “Thanks, Max. Thanks for letting me know where she’ll be. I’ll return this favor one day. I’ll see you there.”
I went home, happy knowing this nightmare would be over soon. I was inching closer to finding Emily by the hour. I’d get to the wedding after the ceremony was done and accost her at the reception. Neither Sarah nor Charlie would be pleased with a crying maid of honor during the wedding ceremony.
Happily, I took my tuxedo and the cuff links Emily sent me for my birthday present to work and whistled my way through the day.
“Why are you so happy?” The chief found it weird that after almost six months I was smiling again.
“I found Emily. She’s here for a wedding. I’m going to go see her after work.”
“You found her? Where is she? Bring her to your parents’ tonight and we’ll intervene if you can’t convince her to give you a second chance.”
Giving him a funny face, I answered, “I don’t want to be spending my first night back with her with the four of you. Leave us alone.”
“All right. Don’t mess up this time. Chain and ball her if you must, because I can’t take your moodiness anymore.”
It felt good to laugh again. As soon as work was done, I showered at the hospital, got dressed, and drove to the Biltmore. In less than ten minutes I would be back together with my love—or at least I hoped she’d take me back. With a nice gift in hand I walked up to the concierge.
“Hi, I’m looking for Charlie and Sarah’s wedding reception?”
“Um, let me check, sir.” The lady took unusually long finding their reception hall. “I’m sorry but I think their reception is over. I believe it was a noon wedding and they were done by six.” This was not happening to me again.
“Could you please check one more time?”
“Sure.” She made a call to the events coordinator and confirmed that Sarah and Charlie had gotten married earlier today.
I wanted to bang my head against the wall. Why hadn’t I asked Max about the time of the wedding? Why didn’t Max tell me about the time of the wedding? I looked at my watch and saw it was only seven. If they ended only an hour ago, they might still be around.
“Could I ask you a couple more questions?”
The lady looked like she would oblige.
“Are Sarah and Charlie staying here tonight?”
After typing it into the computer she answered, “No.”
“What about Emily Logan?” She looked again.
“She checked out a couple of hours ago.”
How lame could I be? When Max told me where the wedding was taking place, a light bulb should have gone off in my head. This was where she was staying. Without dwelling too much on my stupidity, I hopped in my car, headed toward the airport, and called Mom.
“Mom, could you go online and see what flights are leaving for Japan tonight?”
“Does that mean you didn’t find her?” She sounded almost as disappointed as I felt.
“Long story…could you do the search and call me back?”
“Sure.”
Mom called back and I got a short list of airlines I needed to run to and from. They ranged from times of 9:00 p.m., 10:30, and midnight departures. After parking my car in the lot, I ran to the first airline to purchase a ticket in order to get through the gate. By the time I waited in line to purchase a ticket that wasn’t going to be used—as no one would let me cut in line though I begged and pleaded—I got to the gate too late. Everyone had boarded and the gate had closed.
“Please!” I begged the attendant at the desk. “Could you let me in or at least check and see if Emily Logan is on this flight?”
“I’m sorry, sir. That’s not possible. The gate has closed and the plane is ready for takeoff. Also, we aren’t allowed to give the passenger list to anyone.”
Since there was only a third of a chance Emily was on this flight, I went to the next airline. I purchased another ticket, searched, and waited, but didn’t find Emily anywhere. Hope fleeting fast, I ran to the last airline and went through the same process. No different than my life had been the last five months, I had made the wrong choice and lost her again. Of course she was most likely on the first flight that I missed. Forty-five hundred dollars and three unused tickets later, I went home without Emily.
Putting my disappointment aside, I extended my search.
“Chief.” He was my starting point.
“Are you with Emily now?” Having to undo Uncle Henry’s smile made me cringe.
“No. I lost her again. Can you do me a favor? Can you look up a med student named Max? He’s going into his second year of med school, and he just started working at the hospital. I need his phone number.”
“I don’t know if the hospital will give out his personal information.”
“You’re the chief. Don’t you have any power?”
“Not really, but I will try.”
The chief called back quickly.
“As I thought, they wouldn’t give me his personal info, but he will be at the hospital in the pediatric department on Monday. You can find him there. Sorry about Emily.”
“Thanks, Chief.” I hung up the phone disappointed. I’d have to wait till Monday to talk to Max.
Morning surgery done, I ran up to pediatrics to talk to Max.
“What happened?” we asked simultaneously upon seeing each other.
I went first. “I didn’t realize it was a noon wedding. I got there around seven and everything was done.”
“I’m really sorry. I thought I told you it was a noon wedding. Sarah and I couldn’t believe you weren’t there. Here, I have Emily’s address. I tried to relay this to you Saturday night but I couldn’t find you at the hospital, and they wouldn’t give me your personal information.”
“How’d you get her address? How is Emily? How did she look?”
“Well…for as much weight as she lost, she still looked her beautiful Emily self.” A rage of jealousy surged when Max talked so knowingly about her body and face. “She did her best to look happy for Sarah, but those sad eyes never left. Em almost cried when I told her you were coming to the wedding.”
My heart lurched. Was she about to cry out of joy or sadness that I would be there? Five months later there were no more certainties as to where I stood in Emily’s life.
“Here’s her address.” He handed me a sheet of paper with Emily’s scribbling on it. “I think she’s ready to face you.”
“Thank you, Max. I will do my best to bring her home.”
“Good luck!” he said and shook my hand again.
I got to my office and looked up the three airlines I had tickets to and booked the earlie
st flight out of LAX, which was Wednesday. I got a phone call from Jane while wrapping up my ticket purchase.
“Jane. I found Emily.”
“You did? I was calling to give you her address. Check your email. I just sent you another letter and a copy of the envelope with a return address. I should’ve sent this to you sooner, but I was so busy I hadn’t checked my mail in a while. How did you get her address?”
“I got it from Max.”
“Max?” She was quite shocked.
“Long story, Jane. I’m leaving here on Wednesday. Wish me luck.” I let out a huge sigh.
“She still loves you very much. Can’t you see it in all her letters? She hurts because you’re still so much a part of her heart. Remember, she believes you don’t care for her anymore. Go find her and bring her home. Tell her we all miss her.”
“Thanks, Jane. I’m sorry I’ve been so difficult. I won’t come home without her, I promise.”
“Call as soon as you reconcile. Bye.”
“OK.” Jane’s encouragement made me almost believe everything would be all right once I found Emily. I proceeded to open up her email.
May 20
Dear Jane,
I sent Jake a birthday card and a small present last week. I hope he got it on his birthday. It’s only been a month since my declaration of independence to you, and I feel like I’ve reverted back to the old Emily. Like a fool I rambled in Jake’s letter about how lonely I was, and how I wished he were with me. Why do I do this to myself? I thought I had made peace with my heart. He probably laughed at my letter. Maybe he didn’t even read it. (Oh, there go the tears again.)
Did you know Jake and I have almost the same birthday? He was born six years and one day before me. We had promised months ago to celebrate our birthdays for two straight days. I guess that didn’t happen this year. I hope he had a good birthday. What am I saying? I’m sure he had a great birthday.