by Cee, DW
“I think I will. Anyways...” I kind of beat around the bush and tried to slyly ask about Donovan. “How come Donovan hasn’t been around lately?”
Jake held back initially, then told me, “He’s been busy.”
“Doing what?”
“Well, he has a new girlfriend and they’ve been spending a lot of time together.”
“Oh!” was all I could say.
I guess what I felt right now was what those Harlequin heroines felt when their heroes left them mid-way through the book. Just like these women, my heart hurt, I wanted to cry, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.
“He’ll be around, again. Don’t worry, Laney. He won’t forget you.”
For the first time, I knew Jake was wrong. Donovan had already forgotten me.
AGE 11—Summer
Mom is shipping us off to that camp again on the East Coast, and I’m bummed to report I haven’t seen Donovan in ages. He stopped coming by. I have no idea what he is doing other than hanging out with his girlfriend, and why he’s forgotten me. Whenever Jake is around, I ask him about Donovan, but Jake never gives me a clear answer. Either he doesn’t want me to know, or he himself doesn’t know.
“Are you all packed for your trip?”
“Yes, Daddy. Doug and I are ready to leave.”
“I’ll miss you, Baby! Three weeks is a long time to be away from your family.”
“Then why do you send us away if you’ll miss us?”
Daddy chuckled. “We want you to experience life away from home. It’s a privilege to be going to a summer school at a prestigious university, not a punishment. Didn’t you enjoy it last year?”
“I did.” But I don’t want to miss seeing Donovan if he stops by.
“And plus, you’re my genius in the family. I know you’ll be well challenged by the classes at this program.”
“OK, Daddy. But if anything happens at home, or if anyone is looking for me, can you let him...or her know where I’ll be and how he can contact me?”
Daddy chuckled again. “I’ll be sure to let him...or her know.”
“Thank you, Daddy. You’re the greatest!”
AGE 12—New Year’s Day
It’s been so long since I’ve seen Donovan; I almost forget what he looks like. He never came to my birthday party, he didn’t stop by our Thanksgiving dinner, and he was absent at Christmas. I was about to give up on him when I finally saw him today!
“Hello, Delaney! Made any New Year’s resolutions, lately?”
“Donovan!” I was so happy to see him; I embarrassingly threw my body at him and hugged him. “Where’ve you been?”
“You missed me?”
“Of course I mi...” And then, I saw her. The woman who eventually walked right next to Donovan looked like a supermodel. She was so beautiful I couldn’t even be mad at her for holding Donovan’s hand. All I did was stare at her. I was so stupid at times.
“Hello,” she said to me.
“Uh, hi?” I questioned and answered at the same time. “Who are you?” What another stupid question.
This woman and Donovan laughed at me. “She’s cute. Did you say her name was Delaney?”
“Um, it’s Laney, to you. Only Donovan calls me Delaney.” I almost bit her head off. What was wrong with me? Instead of embarrassing myself anymore, I walked ahead of those two and hung out with my cousin, Sam.
“What’s wrong, Laney?”
“Sam...so many things are wrong, I think I might just become a nun!”
“You’re so melo all the time.” She laughed at me, too. “Did you see that crazy pretty woman Donovan came with? Who is she?”
“Who the hell knows!”
“Laney!” Sam was shocked to hear my language.
“Um, I mean, hell-o, Sam. How are you?”
“Yeah, good one. As if I don’t know you just said a bad word? Where’s Jane, today?”
“Who knows...who cares?”
What a way to start the New Year. This year is going to suck!
AGE 12 Spring—I Asked Him to Marry Me Today, but...
Today I did it! I made sure that Donovan and I were going to get married. I was sick of waiting for him to come to me. So when I saw the chance, I took it and proposed! Of course, I am only twelve and I need to finish middle school, high school, college, and (my mom says) graduate school. But I am going to marry Donovan. This is how it happened. I asked Donovan to marry me on a sheet of paper scribbled in my messiest handwriting. The instruction on the sheet said for him to meet me on the swing of my front porch at 11:00 pm, when I knew the entire family would be asleep. It’s 10:59pm right now and I’m on the swing waiting for Donovan to appear. But while I am waiting, let me explain how I proposed and how I am going to become Mrs. Donovan Taylor.
Nick, Jane, Doug and I were swimming at Jane’s house and Jake, Kelley and Donovan came home. All is right in Jake and Kelley’s world again and they are happily dating. When Donovan came out in his swimsuit, I snuck over to his clothes and shoved my proposal letter in his front pocket. Then I jumped back in the pool
“Donovan, you’re splashing water all over my hair!” I complained as I purposely got close to him while he was doing the backstroke. I hadn’t seen Donovan since New Year’s Day and I’d missed him.
“Sorry, Little Girl. Did I get any in your eyes?” He was so nice checking that my eyes weren’t hurt.
“I’m all right,” I answered. “Are you done with school? Are you and Jake and Kelley home for good?”
“No, Little Girl. We are here for the afternoon, cooling off, and then we are going to a frat party. It’ll be our last one before we all head off for our summer trips before graduate school.”
“What graduate school are you going to?”
“I’m off to law school in New York. Jake will still be around here for med school, and my sister Kelley is off to business school in Chicago.”
New York? How was I going to see him again if he went to New York? How were we going to get married if he lived all the way in New York? Last time I went to New York, we had to ride the airplane for a super long time.
“Hey.” Jake interrupted our conversation. “Are we going down to Kate’s tonight after the party? I need to pack an overnight bag if we’re staying with her.”
“Yeah, Jake. I’m spending the night with her. She says her guest room is ready for you and Kelley if you want to come.”
“Who’s Kate?” Like I didn’t know...
“My girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend? When did you get a girlfriend?” Shoot! He was still with this woman. What was I going to do with the letter? I had already shoved it in the pocket of his pants. Should I go through with this? Did I need to surreptitiously get out of the pool and take that letter out of his pocket? Would he die laughing at me when he read the letter? Why did no one in this family tell me that Donovan still had a girlfriend? Aaargh! I wanted to shout, cry, throw a fit…why me?
“Kate and I have been dating for a little while. Remember, you met her on New Year’s Day?”
Yeah, I remember meeting that grotesquely beautiful woman! “Are you going to marry her?” Now why did I need to ask him that and give him ideas? This man was to marry me, not Kate!
Donovan looked at me super surprised. “How did you know I was going to propose to Kate?”
You are? NO! “I...” I stuttered. “I didn’t know. I was only asking.” I had to leave, like NOW! Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, I kept telling myself.
Jumping out of the pool as fast as I could, I ran home and cried on my bed. Why did this have to happen to me? I thought Donovan and I were perfect for each other. Why, oh why, was he planning on marrying someone else?
“Laney,” Mom sat on my bed and woke me up. “It’s time for dinner. Do you want to eat with us, or would you like to go back to sleep?”
“I’ll stay asleep, if that’s all right with you.”
“Sure, Baby
. See you in the morning.”
Why was I asleep at this time of the day? I thought through what happened today and...oh shiitake mushroom! I proposed to Donovan Taylor through a letter, and it was still in his pocket! Jumping out of bed as fast I could, I ran to Jake’s house but no one was home. It was dark outside and everyone had gone to wherever they were going.
I remembered sadly that Donovan was going to propose to his girlfriend, Kate, tonight.
Regardless, I decided to wait for him on my swing because I knew Donovan loved me, in his own way, and we would get married. We couldn’t get married for a long time, but I knew it was meant to be for us!
“Young lady, what the hell are you doing out on the swing at this hour?”
“Daddy...” I said getting up, wiping the drool off my face. “What time is it?”
“It’s morning!” Dad was upset. “The whole house was in an upheaval looking for you. Why are you asleep on the front porch?”
Shoot! I didn’t think I’d fall asleep out here. “Do I have to explain? Would you believe me if I told you that my room was hot and that I needed some fresh air?”
Dad looked at me as though I was coo coo for cocoa puffs. “Explain!”
“Oh, all right! Someone was supposed to meet me here but this someone never showed up. That’s all I’m going to say, and that’s that!” I came on strong, and this made Dad actually laugh rather than scowl.
“Don’t ever do this again, young lady. We were scared somebody made off with our beautiful daughter. It’s not safe to sleep outside, even on our cul-de-sac.”
“Sorry.” I showed penance. “I won’t ever do this again because no one is ever coming for me.”
And that’s what became of my proposal—absolutely NOTHING!
AGE 18—Senior Prom
Who at this age can say that she has never really been out on a real date? Even more inconceivable, who would keep herself from dating because she was waiting for some guy, ten years her senior, to notice her? I can raise my hand to both questions. Who is a moron? Yep, I raise both hands really high to that last question.
“Laney, why did you turn down Brad for the senior prom? He seems like such a nice guy.”
“He is Mom and he’s a great friend, but...”
“He’s not Donovan?”
Mom and I started talking about Donovan Taylor when I got asked to the junior prom last year and didn’t go. She asked me point blank if he was the reason I never went out on dates—not that either of my parents minded that I didn’t get friendly with boys.
“I know you think I’m ridiculous for holding onto this childhood crush, but I can’t help what I feel. If I could, I would have let it go a long time ago. Really, I don’t want to have these feelings for a man who doesn’t even remember me.”
“You’re being melo again!” Melo was short for melodramatic, according to Mom. “You just saw him at Uncle Bobby’s birthday. Didn’t you talk to him?”
“No. He didn’t even notice me. He only stopped by briefly and he was with that crazy beautiful woman. She’s so old! Why would a young guy like Donovan want to date an old woman?”
Mom started cracking up. “She’s not that old. I’m sure a woman in her late 30s has some uses.”
“Yeah? Like what? What could she possibly do for him?”
Mom choked on her coffee. This Kate lady was gorgeous, but she stuck out like a sore thumb at Uncle Bobby’s birthday party. She didn’t say much to anyone except Jake and Donovan, and she was dressed like she was going to some movie premiere. Who wore a Valentino gown to a simple birthday dinner? I wished Jane could’ve been there so I could ask her questions about Kate, but Jane arrived after Kate left.
“There’s nothing wrong with crushing on a boy, but don’t let him stop your life. Go out, enjoy yourself, and meet new friends. You’re going to be in college in a few months, and I don’t want you to stop living life, waiting for someone who may never materialize into anything more than a childhood crush.”
Mom was right, but her comment crushed my hope. I guess I should listen to Mom and go find myself a prom date.
January 7, 2013 It’s Nice to Meet You, Donovan Taylor
My life took an unexpected turn when I went to Jane’s work to drop off her Kindle. I saw my “future husband” again for the first time since I was in grade school. Well, I suppose I’d seen him a few times in between, but those didn’t count since he never came up and talked to me. Case in point, Jake and Emily’s wedding. I know he was busy as a groomsman, but it wouldn’t have killed him to talk to me, or maybe to even ask me to dance. But like a stranger in the night, he pretended not to know who I was, so today, I turned the table and pretended not to remember him. In fact, I had done a good job forgetting him for a while. He disappeared from my life sometime when I was in junior high school and he reappeared again, today, at Jane’s law firm. When William asked me out on a date on a Monday night, I thought he was crazy. I almost turned him down, but was happy that I didn’t. Why you ask? Because I looked GOOD when I ran into my “future husband.” LOL! I shouldn’t call him that anymore, especially since he infuriated me that last time we spoke. He was just Donovan. Donovan Taylor, age 31, Capricorn, lawyer, middle child, my true love...when I was younger. He still looked wonderfully handsome—so rascally, and so debonair, all combined in one package. His eyes were shiny blue-green-gray, his hair was unruly wavy and brown, and his smile was knock ‘em dead gorgeous. He was one of those men that caught the eye of every woman walking down the street; the kind of guy who dressed like a male model for Armani or Calvin Klein. He’d always been this way, for as long as I could remember, and so many years later, nothing had changed. Emily had lent me her special Chanel outfit and I spent a little extra time curling my hair and placing my hat, just right, on my head. Boy was I happy I did that. Jane looked a bit peeved that I was wearing Emily’s outfit but I didn’t care. Jane always got what she wanted, anyhow.
“Hello, Miss Delaney Reid. My, you’ve grown up. How old are you now,” was how he started our conversation.
He remembered! He remembered that he was the only one who called me Delaney. He said he wanted to be someone special in my life (a long, long, time ago) and he asked for my permission to call me Delaney. He’s been the only one to call me by that name since then, and no one has called me Delaney in a very long time. I guess I wasn’t that special to him if he could blow me off so easily.
“Do I know you?” I asked just to be rude. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had been in my thoughts, all these years later. Even though I knew he wouldn’t show up to answer my proposal, he could’ve had the common courtesy to call and say he wouldn’t be there. I waited the entire night for him and could’ve been seriously busted by my parents for sleeping on the front porch.
He chuckled at me and asked me to lunch with him and Jane, but I turned him down and walked away. My heart was pumping hard as I walked down the block. I prayed they weren’t behind me and I prayed I wouldn’t fall in these high patent leather boots. I wanted to turn around and get one more glimpse of him, but I couldn’t do it. In the end it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t come after me and he could care less where I was going and what I was doing. Nothing had changed between us. We were acquainted strangers...yeah, that’s what we were.
January 11, 2013 Your Date’s Name is William, Not Donovan
I never made it to our date a few days ago. The day I ran into Donovan, I was so nervous and so freaked-out I couldn’t function. To be completely honest, I didn’t want to go out with William after having seen Donovan again. He took my breath away, made my heart beat again, and brought back all the ugly feelings of does-he-love-me, does-he-not. It was silly to think this and even sillier to feel it since he didn’t love me—never had and never will.
“Are you feeling better, Laney? I was worried about you when you canceled our date.”
“Sorry, William. I feel well now. I was on my way to meet
ing you and came down with...some weird illness. I went straight home.” Weird illness, my left foot! That was an assinine explanation but what could I say, “I ran into the love of my life since I was ten and hyperventilated after I saw him?”
“I chose this Japanese restaurant because I remembered you saying you liked sushi. Was this a good choice?”
“Yes. Anything is fine, William.”
“So, what classes are you taking second semester? I’m taking a senior English class that’s...”
I saw William’s mouth move and heard noises coming from his mouth, but couldn’t focus on what he was saying. This took me back to the time a large group of us went out for sushi. Donovan was there when I was trying raw fish for the first time. I loved fish, but I never liked the idea of eating a fish that just died.
“Just try it, Laney.”
“But Dad. This shrimp just died and I don’t want to eat its flesh. I saw it still move when the sushi chef took it out of the tank.”
“That’s why this dish is called live shrimp, Dummy!”
“Gross! Do I eat the head too? Its beady eyes are begging me not to eat it.”
“No. The head will come separately in your miso soup.”
“Dad! Doug’s being a butthead and trying to freak me out!”
“Laney, stick to your California rolls if you don’t want to try the shrimp.”
“I promise this is really good. Close your eyes and I’ll feed it to you. If you don’t like it, I have a napkin ready for you to spit it out.”
“Thank you, Donovan! You’re the best.”
I nodded my consent and Donovan fed me my first raw fish. It was the yummiest thing I’d ever eaten in my life! I opened my smiling eyes and Donovan winked at me before going back to sit with Jake.