by Cee, DW
“Delaney is wondering which Reid you’re salivating over,” Donovan guessed on the nose. I wondered how he knew. “It’s written all over your face.” He laughed, but didn’t bother to enlighten me on which Reid they were talking about. “Delaney was helping me and Jane with a client, he came onto her too strong, she got a bit antsy, the waiter dropped the pasta onto her lap, and here we are.”
“That’s why we’re here? Because of this mess?” I pointed to the bottom of my dress. “I don’t need a new dress, Mr. Taylor. Just take me home, and I’ll put some Spray n Wash on and throw it into the wash. It’s no big deal. This dress doesn’t even look good on me.” Now I was babbling because I didn’t want Donovan Taylor buying me a dress out of guilt.
“Do you have low self-esteem issues or do you just not get it?” Bee asked.
“Get what?”
“That you’re tall, striking, beautifully figured, and gorgeous enough to model! I’d love it if you’d wear all my clothes because you’d make them look so good. If you need a job after you finish school, you could model for me and a host of other designers. We’d fight over you.”
These people were so odd. Why would they want someone like me?
“She doesn’t believe you.” Donovan guessed correctly again.
“Here. Go try this on.” She pointed to a makeshift dressing area, almost commanding I do as she said. This Taylor was as bossy as the other Taylor.
The dress she handed me was soft, comfortable and uniquely designed. I loved the feel of the fabric under my hand, and I easily put it over my head and slipped it on. It was casual enough to wear to a lunch, but just dressy enough to last through a nice dinner.
“What’s with the Mr. Taylor moniker?”
Donovan didn’t say anything, so I assumed he shrugged his shoulders.
“You two have an odd relationship.”
“Um...” I called over the partition, “we don’t have any relationship. We are barely friends.” I walked out of the “room” and said, “Your creation is wonderful. I love the dress. Can I buy it from you?”
“Wow!” Bee exclaimed. “That dress was made for your body. You make that dress come alive. And those shoes only add to the effect. Where’d you get them? Who’s the designer?”
“I...” How would I explain these shoes? “They’re from Hawaii and they’re LV.”
“You Reids are high-rollers.”
“Um...well...” I looked over at Donovan who only had smiles for me. “In any case, I don’t think it’s me that brings your creation alive, Bee. You’re obviously a talented designer. How much can I pay you for the dress?”
“Delaney, I’ve got it.” Donovan butted into our conversation.
“What do you mean, ‘you’ve got it?’” I asked.
“I mean, I will pay for the dress. So put your wallet away.”
“Why would you pay for my dress?” I had no idea what would possess Donovan Taylor to buy me a dress.
“Did you not hear me telling my cousin that I ruined your dress, and that’s why we are here? I’m going to replace it for you.”
“First of all, my dress is not ruined. It just needs to go in the wash. Second of all, I don’t need you buying me a dress.”
“Why are you so damn stubborn?” He yelled in frustration. “I’m offering to buy you a dress, I want to buy you a dress, so can’t you just say thank you and be done?”
“I don’t want a dress from you,” I yelled in frustration, too. “I don’t want anything from you, I don’t want to feel like I’m a part of your…”
“Yes, yes, I know. You don’t want to feel like a part of my harem. I understood what you said back in Hawaii.” Now he sounded upset. “For your information Little Girl, you are not a part of my harem, I never asked you to join my harem, and I never will. You are not my type, you are not my age, and you’re definitely not in my league.”
His comment shocked me, pained me, and put me in my place. I had no ready answer. What can I say to you when you tell me you’ll never be attracted to me and I’m not what you’re looking for in a woman? Will I ever be good enough for you? I felt that ugly heartbreak one more time. This was something I felt way too often when I was around this man. The best thing to do was to be as far away from him as possible.
“I’m sorry,” was all I could say. Then I turned to Bee and asked, “May I use your restroom, please?”
“Sure,” she answered. “The one downstairs is being fixed, but you’re more than welcome to go up to the loft and use the master bathroom in my bedroom.”
“Thank you,” I said with a manufactured smile and walked away as quickly as possible without seeming obvious.
I heard Bee whisper to Donovan, “You’re such an asshole. I don’t know why women find you attractive. You were about as smooth as that snakeskin dress over there.”
“You heard what she said.” Donovan defended himself. “She was getting bitchy with me and I was just trying to be a nice guy and replace a dress for her. It’s just a damn dress. It’s not like I offered her an engagement ring.”
“Incredible! Did you not hear yourself tell her that she wasn’t good enough for you and that you’d never be attracted to her?”
“Bee, look at her age and lack of experience. Do you think we fit?”
“I think you fit better than you realize.”
“Whatever.”
I sat up in Bee’s room a bit longer and only came out when their conversation died—all the while, my heart attempted to resuscitate itself.
“Donovan said that he would wait for you in his car. Let me walk you out.”
“Thank you, but you don’t have to do that. I’m sure I can find my way out.”
“You know…my nephew seems worldly, and I know he may seem like a womanizer, but he’s always been true to the woman he’s with. He just needs a little guidance, and he’s not quite as mature as you may think he is.”
I didn’t know why she was bothering to tell me all this stuff. It didn’t concern me since I wasn’t ever going to date Donovan Taylor.
“Thank you for the information, but I think your breath is wasted on me. You can let his girlfriend know next time he brings her over.”
She muttered something under her breath about “letting me know” or “being the one for him,” something like that, but I didn’t bother to have her clarify.
“Hi,” Donovan said with a guilty look. “You ready to go home?”
“Yes, please. It’s been a long day and I still have a lot to do when I get home.”
We rode in an awkward silence, but Bee didn’t live far from my home so it was a short awkward silence. I was actually glad that Donovan wasn’t speaking to me.
We got to my street and Donovan parked somewhere in between my house and Jake’s house. “I’m sorry, Delaney. I don’t know what came over me when I got angry with you back at Bee’s place.”
“There’s no need for an apology, Mr. Taylor. I understand, and I’m sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I know you could never be attracted to somebody like me.” My voice actually cracked a little and my heart skipped multiple beats when I said this to him. There was no way Donovan Taylor could ever understand or comprehend the number of tears I’d shed deep inside my heart. I refused to shed these tears on the outside, so my heart was an ocean filled with unshed tears. Even now, I was adding to the ocean.
“I wasn’t saying that you aren’t an attractive girl. I was just saying that you and I couldn’t work. I know that guys find you attractive. In fact, I’ve seen you work your magic on just about every man who’s crossed your path. Why look at...”
I walked out in the middle of his sentence. I didn’t want to hear his patronizing consolation speech. “Thank you for the ride home.” Shutting his door, I sprinted to my door.
Quickly shutting the front door behind me, I ran up to my room and closed my door. Donovan’s words hurt me so much I just stared at the wall. There was no poin
t in crying, and I was tired of being sad, but those words killed. In my mind, I knew Donovan Taylor was an impossible dream, but my heart still dreamed a million dreams that one day he’d notice me. Tonight, he actualized this dream into a nightmare.
“Whatcha doing? Am I bothering you?” That familiar voice was back, and this time, in my room.
“I’m editing some essays. I didn’t do any work in Hawaii so I’m a bit backlogged.” In a desperate attempt to distract myself, I had opened up my computer, but not gotten anything done.
“How much money do you make off each paper?”
“It depends on the length. I charge one cent per word so it can be anywhere from $200 to $500 per paper. It’s been a decent side job.”
“That’s not bad. How many papers do you edit per week?”
“Anywhere from 1-10. Obviously, there’s more to do during midterms and finals, but the rest of the semester is fairly consistent. I’ve developed a nice clientele.”
“How do you correct without actually writing someone’s paper for them?”
“I don’t take on a tone or a voice. I just correct spelling, grammar, and sentence structure. If a paper is really bad, I’ll make suggestions on how to improve it, but I won’t rewrite it for them. Also, I’m careful who I help. I won’t take on a poor writer, because it’s too much work, and they tend to want you to write their papers for them.”
“Is this what you want to do when you grow up?” He asked with the gentlest smile I’d ever seen on Donovan Taylor.
“I have a lot of things I want to do, when I grow up,” I emphasized that last part since he made a point to state it. “But for now I think I’d like to be a writer.”
He looked at the screen that had the paper I was correcting. “Have you ever written anything?”
I wondered if I should share such an intimate secret. “Yeah, I’ve finished a couple of screenplays for fun.”
“Would you let me read them?”
I laughed. “No way! No one’s ever read my writing. You’re the first person I’ve even told, and if you go off spilling my secret, I’ll deny it.” We both laughed.
At times, the rapport between us was beautiful and easy. And his alpha-male confidence made him utterly irresistible.
“All right. I’ll keep your secret.”
“Is that why you haven’t left? You wanted to know my deepest darkest secret?”
He thought about my statement for a second. “I couldn’t leave because I felt I’d put us in an awkward situation, and somehow hurt you.”
Why, oh why, couldn’t he have just left after telling me there was no chance between us? Why did he have to come back and try to be nice and apologetic?
“I’m all right, Mr. Taylor. We are no better, no less, a friend to one another than we were just a few hours ago.”
He didn’t look happy to hear what was just said, but didn’t voice what his face explained.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings in any way, and I’m sorry for stealing a kiss from you in Hawaii. I’m not quite sure what came over me.”
I stepped over to the small sofa in my room so I wouldn’t be in such close proximity with Donovan.
I gave him a flat smile and didn’t explain that his was my first real kiss. I must be the ONLY girl on this earth who’d never been kissed by a boy her entire life. How embarrassing and unbelievable. Who had virgin lips at twenty-two?
“You have a funny look on your face. What’s that all about?”
There was no way I was going to explain my thought. “You sure have a way with words, Mr. Taylor. First, you tell a girl she’s not good enough for you. Second, you tell her you could never ever be attracted to her. Then you go for the kill and tell her she’s funny looking. I know I’m not the prettiest girl out there, and I know I’m nothing when compared to Jane, but golly-geez...” Those tears were there again filling up in my heart.
“Do you really believe what you just said?” He asked with a tender look on his face.
“Yes..?” I answered mid-croak.
“I believe I meant to say that you and I run in different circles, you and I have birthdays in different decades, and in your own way, you are much more beautiful than your cousin Jane.”
That made me break out into a fit of laughter.
“What’s so funny? No, let me rephrase that, lest you twist my words around again,” he said while seating himself next to me on the couch. “Why are you laughing?”
I shook my head back and forth and rolled my eyes. “You really get as many girls as you’re purported to get? You’re about as smooth as a prickly pear.”
“Damn! Why do I keep getting that metaphor today? You don’t think I’m smooth, either?”
I shook my head no almost as severely as Ellie shakes her head no.
“I’m going to have to work on that,” he answered with a chuckle. “Are we good about everything?”
I nodded yes this time. “We are good about me not being attractive enough, old enough, or experienced enough for you. You may leave in good conscience, Mr. Taylor.”
This time, he shook his head in mirth. “We OK with the unintended kiss?”
“We are OK with you kissing me while ‘in a state of distress’ because I was lost. And we are OK with it being a terrible kiss.” I gave him a matter-of-fact look while he looked stupefied. “You can go home now. This little girl is all right. I’m not as emotionally unstable as you believe.”
“You thought it was terrible?”
He quickly got over being flabbergasted, slid over so close we were almost thigh to thigh, and his mouth did an even smoother slide over my mouth. His kiss was warm, wet, and softer than all the silk in China. It started with only our lips touching. Next thing I knew, he had his right arm around my neck, left arm around my back and it appeared that he was intent in swallowing my mouth. I could do little more than mimic his style. As his mouth put more pressure on mine, his tongue touched mine and some unnamed endorphin released because my hormones went buck wild. I’d never felt such arousal.
I itched to wrap my arms around him, and stay this way all night. My mind went back and forth, back and forth, on whether or not I should put my arms around him, and just as I’d decided to make my move, Donovan saved me the embarrassment and broke off abruptly.
“Sorry,” he said again.
He was sorry that he kissed me again.
“I should be the one saying sorry. I’m not anywhere in the same league as the women you normally kiss.”
“Delaney...”
“Why don’t we call it a night, before we make any more mistakes?” I gave him an out.
He surprisingly gave me another light kiss on the lips, said good night, and left my room.
April 17, 2013 Bittersweet
Softball had been on a two-week spring break hiatus, and today, it was back. I arrived at the softball field to a very nice surprise. Jake and Emily had brought the kids to watch our game, and Mom and Dad had brought Gram and Grandfather to watch the game. This was going to be an extra fun day.
“How did you end up coming here? Who told you I was playing softball?”
“It should’ve been you who told me that you were playing softball, but I had to hear it from my hubby’s best friend. And Donovan suggested since it was an early game today, we stop by with the family.”
“I’m glad you’re here.” I took over James-carrying duties as my darling little cousin was reaching out for me. Donovan came in out of nowhere and swept Ellie out of Jake’s hands to her utter delight. “Shall we go sit in the dugout James?” Of course he nodded his head yes, though I didn’t think he understood what I was asking.
“Who are these adorable little kids? Are they twins?” Elle was enamored. She and Eric coaxed Ellie and James out of our hands. Soon all the players took turns playing with the twins and several times Coach Kevin had to yell into the dugout for the next batter.
“If you an
d Donovan had kids they would be just as adorable as your cousin’s kids,” Elle whispered into my ear.
I shot her a nasty look and said, “We are not together. He has no interest in me.”
“By the way you phrased that statement, I assume you have an interest in him?”
“I think it’s your turn to bat, Elle. You better get up there before coach Kevin yells at you.”
I had the loudest and largest cheering crowd thus far of anybody at our game. Mom could be pretty loud when she wanted to be. What was I saying? She was usually pretty loud.
“Young lady,” Mom said, “how come I didn’t know you were playing again?” And then she directed her attention to Donovan. “How did you end up on this team?”
I answered for the both of us. “I signed up because Elle forced me to sign up and as for Mr. Taylor, he just happened to be there when I was signing up. He and Kevin, our coach, were college fraternity buddies.”
“So you two have been spending every Wednesday together since February?” Emily had a sly smile on her face when asking this question. I didn’t know Emily owned anything sly.
“No. There are times when Mr. Taylor is out of town, and even when he is in town, it’s not like we’re spending every Wednesday together. We just play a game together.” No one in my family needed to think there was any existence of a weekly get-together between us.
“Well I, for one, am glad that Donovan is here with you.”
“For what reason are you glad, Daddy?”
“Most of the time these games run late and I’m glad to know he will bring you home and take care of you.”
Once again, I had to deny any “relationship.”
“Daddy, Donovan does not take care of me, and most of the times Elle and I carpool.”
“Hey, Donovan?”
“Yes, Chief?”
“Can I ask you to bring my daughter home every Wednesday after the game?”
“Sure Chief. I’d be happy to bring her home.”
“Daddy, that’s not necessary, and that’s not going to work. Elle can’t carpool for a few weeks so I need to drive to school every Wednesday, now. I’ll have a car so there’s no need for anyone to drive me home.”