by Cee, DW
“Beck, I need a real D cup, not a wannabe from a soon-to-be mother.” Bee then turned to me. “We’re not done. I have a few more you need to try on. There’s the black one and the fire engine red one. I also need you to try on the leopard print one. That’s my personal favorite.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. Maybe tomorrow, when there isn’t an audience.”
Bee looked around and saw an uncomfortable Donovan and a curious Al and Becky. “How about after I get back from Paris, early June?”
“I won’t be here, Bee. I’d love to help, but...”
“What do you mean? Where are you going?”
“I’m leaving for London soon, Bee.”
“What for?”
“So she can waste away a year of her life doing nothing productive,” was Donovan’s answer to his family.
Donovan had no clue all that I’d accomplished in my four years in undergrad, and why I needed this break from school. His belittling hurt. Sure, I wasn’t some mega-wealthy, semi-retired forty-year-old, but I had accomplished enough, where I thought I deserved a break. I hated that he could break my spirit so easily and readily.
“Bee, could you give me a lift home?” I went back into the screen to grab my jacket and purse.
“You’re such an asshole,” I heard Becky whisper.
“I’ll take you home.” Mr. Gruff Taylor appeared again before waltzing off to the garage.
Seriously not wanting a ride from Donovan, and not wanting to bother anyone else, I did a little research on my phone and figured out how to call a cab. Everyone in the loft protested and offered me a ride home once they figured out what I was doing, but I decided not to put anyone out, or to put anyone on Donovan’s shit list for taking me home. He could sit in his car the entire night waiting for me to come down, for all I cared.
The cab arrived sooner than I’d expected. “I’ll see you all, tomorrow?” I waved good-bye.
“Donovan’s going to kick my ass if I let you get into that cab by yourself at this hour. I’m going with you.” Al followed.
“Please...I’ll be fine.” I left before they could protest much more.
What a night...
Saturday morning was gorgeous, despite the crappy night of sleep I got. What a great day to play a ball game. The sun was shining, but it was just cool enough to play ball in the morning, and possibly swim in the afternoon. I’d have to take James in the pool today. I vowed to spend as much time with my little man before I left. Too few days were left to spend with him, and that made me sad. He would be the one, besides Mom and Dad, I’d miss the most.
“Good morning,” I said to my father.
“Sleep well?”
“Not really, but I’m ready to play.” I started our coffee.
“You going to go easy on your old man?”
“Why would I do that when I know what an athletic stud he is on the baseball diamond?”
Dad only laughed at my comment. “Your mom’s at Bobby’s getting the field ready.”
“I figured.” I took out a frying pan and asked, “You want some eggs?”
“Only if they’re scrambled.”
“Do you eat them any other way?”
“Who will make my scrambled eggs when you’re gone, Baby?”
“How about you learn to make scrambled eggs till I get back? Then, I’ll make them for you till I get my own place, or till I get married?”
“Must you leave? You can stay here. No one will get on your case about lounging around for a year.”
I guess it was only natural everyone would believe I had no right to take a year off. I wasn’t going to let that bother me. This year off was something I needed and wanted. Of course I didn’t deserve it. Who deserved to travel for a year with no care in the world?
Mom had done her usual splendid job creating something out of nothing. She took a plot of land and turned it into a softball field. The bases were freshly spray-painted white, the chalk lines were dusted on, and the mound had a huge L spray painted in the middle, and in pink! My mother was so cute. I was really going to miss my parents, and the entire Reid family.
There was a meeting on the mound when I got to the field, and I was told by Jane that I’d have to pitch for both teams. In my ideal world, I’d like to have played second base or shortstop, but I’d do as I was told. As soon as Emily helped Jake into his catcher’s gear, Jake came up to the mound to talk to me.
“Donovan tells me you took a cab home last night from Bee’s. Everything all right?”
“Yeah. Everything’s OK,” I answered with a sigh.
“You want me to have a talk with him before you leave?”
I shook my head no.
“You want to talk to him before you leave?”
I shook my head even more so, no.
“You want me to tie him up so you can kick his ass, before you leave?”
That made me crack-up, badly.
“I think you may be pleasantly surprised with Donovan if you choose to reveal your feelings to him.”
“I don’t know Jake. I’m tired of being hurt. I want to make a clean break and find something new for myself.”
“Let’s get the game going before the sun goes down!” Mr. Taylor yelled at the both of us.
“Let’s strike him out Laney and make him eat shit today,” were Jake’s last words before going back to his position as catcher.
The first inning went well for both teams. When I was on, I struck out several players at a time, but Donovan and Max hit triples off my fast pitch. I’d have to try to get my off-speed pitch back in play.
Once the inning was done, Donovan was my catcher, and he came up to talk to me on the mound. He probably did this more to retaliate against his buddy. I wasn’t happy being forced to talk to him.
“You got home OK, last night?” I nodded yes. “I’m not even going to get into how pissed I was last night when I found out you left in a cab, by yourself, at that late hour. I didn’t know whether to strangle you, or my moronic family for letting you go by yourself.”
Donovan pissed me off too, but I kept my mouth shut and just made random shapes on the mound with my feet crossing back and forth.
“Do not ever scare me like that again, you got it?”
I looked him dead in the eye and saw that he had been worried for me. He did care, in his own bizarre way. I kind of nodded yes, but looked down at the mound and made my shapes again.
“I’m sorry, Delaney.” Now the voice in which he said those words shook my determined I will not let this man rattle my heart, I will not let this man rattle my heart, stance. But it actually sounded like he really did care for me...which couldn’t possibly be true. I’d be a fool to believe this with only two weeks left before my new life began. “I keep saying things I don’t fully mean, when I’m with you. I don’t know why I do this, but I do know I was an asshole, and I need to know that we’re OK.”
I gave him another brief nod, without looking at him.
“Hey,” his tone was so gentle, stance be damned! My heart was going into a tizzy. “Can you look at me?” Briefly giving him what he wanted, he was satisfied enough to say, “I’ll make this up to you. OK?”
Jake was always the wisest among the cousins. Somehow he sensed my fear, and broke up our conversation by complaining to Grandfather, our umpire, that Donovan was taking too long on the mound. The ump agreed and threatened to penalize Donovan if he didn’t get in the catcher’s box. That broke up our “happy” reunion.
The rest of the game went well till the very last play. The Reids were up, 10-9 and of course, my favorite man was up to bat. Jake called a meeting on the mound and basically told me to take out Donovan by scaring his chances at reproducing.
“No way, Jake!” I complained. “I can’t control my pitches to that degree and I will NOT be responsible for his posterity.” (Especially if I had any chance to be a part of this posterity!)
My dad w
as even worse, fully encouraging this kind of shenanigan.
I had no choice but to try since my entire family was counting on me. I soooo didn’t want to do this. The first ball was just that—a ball. The next pitch was a perfect fast pitch that went way on the inside. Donovan had to do a serious concave curve of the body to help save his posterity. The third pitch had the exact same effect. I turned back around once my giggling was contained, only to find one Donovan Taylor, in my face.
“You going to nurse me back to health, if you hit me where I think you’re aiming?” That was all he said. Shit! I was so rattled. What the hell was I thinking trying to take him out?
I couldn’t do much with the next two pitches, but on the last pitch, with a full count, I got lucky and caught Donovan unaware in the batter’s box. He stepped in, but wasn’t ready to swing. Softball rules stated that I could pitch the ball to anyone who was in the batter’s box, ready or not, unless he called a time-out. And so, that was what I did. I pitched a fastball, then struck him out. The jubilation from the outfield overflowed. The Others were disappointed, but not by much. We all had a wonderful time together.
“Did you even eat?” Bee asked, as she cannonballed into the pool splashing an already happy James and Ellie.
“Nope! I chose swimming with my little man here over eating with the mamas.”
“Donovan apologize about last night?”
“Yeah. That was the long discussion on the mound. He started by telling me how pissed he was, and that he didn’t know whether to strangle me or the Taylor family. He told me all that before apologizing.”
Bee laughed while doing backstrokes near us. I took James by the arms and swung him around the pool. When I saw Ellie and Max swimming toward us, I put James on my back and we did breaststrokes over to meet them.
“You pitched well, today. Thanks for pitching for both teams.”
“It was nothing. I had a good time doing it.”
“When do you leave, Laney?”
“In two weeks.”
“Seriously? You leave that soon? Why didn’t I know this earlier?”
“Nobody but my parents, Jake and Emily know. And my parents are still in denial, even though the ticket has been purchased.”
“Can I tell Josh?”
“I’d prefer you didn’t.” I brought James around to the front so he and Ellie could talk and play with one another for a bit. “I’m sorry, Max, but you know I don’t have feelings for your brother other than friendship?”
“Yeah, I know. I wish you did. You’d make an awesome younger sister.”
Why couldn’t I love someone as genuine as Max? Why did I pick a man who was more a playboy than a boy scout?
“I wish you and Jane all the happiness in the world. You are as ideal as my cousin, Jake. I’d be honored to call you my big brother—but that doesn’t seem to be in the cards for us. Can we just be cousins? That’s about the same thing, isn’t it?”
“It sure is,” he answered with a smile, and swam off to meet Jane.
Talking to Max, and watching him and Jane love and laugh with one another brought on another bout of sadness. I’d miss them very much too.
“Whatcha staring at?”
“Hey, Nick. I’m just tired, I guess. Can I give James to you? I’d like to go lay down for a bit, before I come back here to watch the kids overnight.”
“Bring my nephew over here.” He took James and started on the SpongeBob imitation and James’ beautiful face broke into a cackle. I loved watching him smile. Before leaving the pool, I stopped to give him one last kiss on the cheek, then I snuck out of Emily’s backyard before getting accosted by anyone else.
There was so much to do before I left, I didn’t have time for this nonsensical sadness. I wasn’t going away for good and it was my choice to leave. Little by little, all the clutter was either thrown away or placed in its rightful location. Ever since I was young, I was your typical packrat. I’d accumulated so much stuff. It was time to purge and rid most of this junk.
“Can I come in?” That voice was in my room again.
I put on my best smile and answered, “Sure.”
“What’s with all this mess?”
“I’m purging, spring cleaning, getting rid of years of hoarding—take your pick...”
“Why’d you leave so soon?”
“I have a ton of things to do before I leave for London and there’s still some school work left, too. I thought I’d make good use of the rest of today, before Jake whisks Emily off on her birthday surprise. Plus I’m tired. It’s been a long morning.”
Donovan came closer to me, and put his hand on my head and caressed it. I don’t know what came over him but he pulled me into his body and held me. Please don’t do this to me now. I can’t take you going hot and cold on me. It hurts too much, Donovan.
“I need to drop by work, but I’ll be there later to help you. Then you and I need to have a little talk, OK?”
With my head still stuck between his chest and neck, I could hear his heart beating fast, just like mine.
“All right.” It didn’t matter what this man wanted to talk to me about—I’d go anywhere, do just about anything, if I could spend a little more time with him.
May 19, 2013 Before Midnight
There was truly no more a romantic husband than Jake. He planned a beautiful weekend for him and his wife and asked me to help. What started as a night with the twins, ended in a date night with one Donovan Taylor. This weekend was truly a fairytale dream come true for me.
“We’ll be home right after dinner. The kids are exhausted from today so they should go down even earlier,” Emily kept talking while Jake stood behind her and kept repeating no to me, just in case I might have forgotten I was spending the night with the kids here, while their parents had a much needed night away.
“OK, Emily. Enjoy. Don’t worry about the kids. There will be four of us. We should be able to watch two kids?”
Jake pulled her out of the house before Emily could give out any more instructions. “Max will be here with Laney so don’t worry. Jane and Donovan can...I don’t know what the hell they can do, but the babies are in good hands, so stop worrying.”
“Bye!” The twins and I waved. It was shocking that they didn’t cry with both parents gone. It may have had something to do with the new One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish video, Emily kept up her sleeve for an emergency like this. This book was definitely on James’ most-read list, and Ellie liked it because her brother liked it.
I was able to heat up dinner and cook the pasta while the kids happily sat in their high chairs watching the monitor. Normally, I wouldn’t have left the kids in front of a television monitor, but today was an exhausting day. To add to my long day, my mind kept running circles around what Donovan and I might talk about tonight. Would it be about us? Was he going to tell me to stop perving on him? Did he even know that I perved on him? Was he running away with Kate and living his happily ever after? It was anyone’s guess what he needed to say to me after such a tender hug.
“Hello, big boy, beautiful girl!” Donovan was first to greet the kids, as they were finishing up their dinner. Jane, too, went over and kissed her niece and nephew. While both left for a while to change out of their work clothes, I got both kids into their bath chairs and once again, turned on the movie. I felt horrible for being such a lazy sitter today. No books, no engaging toys—a movie was all I could muster.
Ellie was first to be done, and I had her dressed in the cutest Hello Kitty bathrobe and slipper combo, and Jane adored her. James got no less attention from both Jane and Donovan, and lucky for me, they took the kids up and wanted to get them changed into their jammies. Hopefully, Donovan or Jane would read them a book to finish the night.
The kitchen was a mess, and as much as I didn’t want to, I started sweeping up the floor. It was unreal how much spaghetti was on the floor. For every bite that went into their mouths, they must have droppe
d another three bites on the floor. In the middle of sweeping up the floor, I heard James crying, so I ran upstairs and was horrified to see him about to fall off the changing table. Only by God’s grace did I get to James in time before he hit his head on the hard, wooden floor.
Both Donovan and Jane started yelling at one another, so I picked up the kids, calmed them down, and read them their most comforting book. Even after having cried hysterically, they were both so tired from the softball game and swimming, they both conked out immediately. It didn’t make me feel good to hear them still hiccup-crying in their sleep, but this afforded me some time to sit. We all needed the rest.
“I’m not the girl you want to marry if you need a mother for your kids.” Jane was lamenting to Donovan as I stayed on the rocking chair with both kids, while they headed downstairs. “Go talk to Laney, instead.”
“I think I prefer a woman to a little girl, when I decide I need to procreate,” was his answer to my cousin.
A little girl—that’s all I ever was, and all I’ll ever be to him.
I couldn’t leave the rocking chair. I’d tried to show him how grown up I was, how responsible I was, how much of a woman I was. Nothing about me impressed Donovan Taylor. My body was tired from the day, my head was filled with images of Donovan consoling Jane, and my heart was crying from the knowledge that any affection from this man was only that of an older brother. I needed to stop believing otherwise.
“Laney,” I heard a gentle whisper. It was Max, rather than Donovan, helping me with the kids. Max took each kid, put him and her in their respective beds and helped me off the chair. I should have gone straight to bed myself, but since Max led me toward the kitchen, I followed and the four of us began reheating dinner.
Dazed, I watched the pasta boil when Josh made a visit. He was a welcome distraction as we started talking about both our pending trips. Josh gave me his tentative itinerary, and I told him some of the places I wanted to visit when I got to London. We were having an info exchange when Donovan made another crack at me being lazy and not wanting to live in the real world and get work experience. I thought about responding, but decided not to let it bother me. There weren’t enough words for me if I was going to have it out with Donovan Taylor.