by Cee, DW
That gave me a good chuckle. I took out a piece of paper and wrote, “Good day, Brent. My heart belongs to another man.”
He laughed at what I’d written and tousled James’ hair. “You’re a lucky man,” he spoke and went back to his seat.
“What did you write down?” Becky and Jane asked at the same time.
I was about to tell them the truth when Donovan angrily said, “You didn’t give that asshole your number did you?” He once again assumed the worst of me.
I decided it was nobody’s business what I wrote to Brent, and continued eating breakfast. Apparently, my non-answer wasn’t a good enough answer as Donovan barked, “Outside, now! Let’s talk!”
I stared at him wondering what I should do. I had no desire to go outside and talk to this man. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to do anything. My dad and Jake took care of the situation, and told Donovan to sit and finish his breakfast.
On the plane I sat myself between each twin and made sure Donovan had no way of getting to me. And once we landed, I was in the clear as I ran into a car with Jake and Emily and the twins, and went straight home. As soon as we got on the cul-de-sac, I said my good-byes and I took the dress over to Bee’s before possibly running into Donovan. Sure, I was being a chicken and avoiding confrontation, but I only had three days left, and I’d be in the clear for a year. And during that year, I’d find other interests and get rid of this stale one.
Today wasn’t as bad of a day as yesterday, as long as I didn’t think about what Donovan had said to me last night.
May 28, 2013 Camellia
By the end of this week, I’d be on an entirely different continent, experiencing a completely new life. My bags were packed, my good-byes were said, and after this past weekend, my heart knew its place in Donovan Taylor’s life. The best I could, I wrote off that chapter of my life and looked toward the future with a reticent smile. I couldn’t put into words what this last weekend did to my heart. I guess it was the nail I needed to close my coffin.
Dinner? Bee texted.
Sure. Where?
Sushi?
Yes!
I’ll send over directions now. 7:30. Let’s meet at the sushi bar.
Cool. See you then.
I was all ready to leave now. All the items that needed to be shipped were shipped, and my one carry-on suitcase was packed and ready to go. I had accomplished a lot today. And the best part was, I accomplished it with my mom and with a (somewhat) happy heart.
At 7:30 sharp, I walked into the sushi bar excited to see Bee probably for the last time. I felt bad I hadn’t told her that I was leaving on Thursday. I planned to rectify the situation tonight.
I stopped dead on my feet when I saw Donovan sitting at the sushi bar and unfortunately, Donovan saw me before I could turn around and leave. He got up and grabbed my hand before I could take another step toward the door.
“Don’t go,” he said it like he almost meant it.
“Please tell Bee that something came up and I had to leave,” I whispered and tried to walk out.
Donovan pulled me even closer to him. In fact, he was holding me in his arms. “I’m sorry.” His apology was like a plea. “Please stay. I have so much to say to you.”
“I don’t want to hurt anymore.” I whispered back a plea.
“I won’t hurt you anymore. I promise.”
He let go of me and held my hand over to the sushi bar. Guests who stared at us probably thought we were a couple the way we clung to one another. Donovan was only feeling guilty, and I just couldn’t walk away from his affection—even if it was only in the way of an apology.
“Hot or cold sake?” He started with the light-hearted conversation.
“Cold. I don’t like hot sake.”
“Cold it is. Anything you don’t eat?”
“Nothing where the eyes are looking back at me.”
“Got it,” he smiled and put his hand on my face for a brief second.
“Where’s Bee?”
“Not coming. I had her text you because this was the only way I could get you alone.” Should I be happy he did this? Nope, I should’ve been scared.
“OK, I’m alone. Talk.”
The server brought our sake, we toasted and Donovan began. “I’m sorry for getting upset with you and for what I said. Brent is the biggest asshole, and it pissed me off when I saw you walking in with him. How do you know Brent?”
“I don’t know him, except for whatever I might remember now about my childhood. He was a stranger to me at the reception.”
“Then why’d you walk in with him like he was your date?”
“I didn’t. After Ellie usurped the bride’s intro, I was trying to catch up to James, and Brent caught me off guard and placed my hand in his arm. By the time I realized what was happening, we were making an entrance and I didn’t want to cause a scene.”
“Well, you made quite a statement walking in with the brother of the bride.”
“I didn’t know that, and he had no idea who I was. I told him I was the twins’ babysitter, and I also told him that I had a date when he asked if I was with anybody.”
“Yeah?” Donovan’s lips turned into a casual smile. “Who was your date?”
“James,” I giggled realizing how silly that sounded.
“That kid gets all the chicks already.” Donovan chuckled. “I’m going to have to learn from him.”
“I’m sure he gets all his charm from his dad and godfather. There are no better teachers.”
“Brent is a world-class asshole. To say that Jake and I don’t like him is a mild statement. That doesn’t excuse what I mouthed off to you when I saw you, but please take my word when I tell you that you don’t want to go out with him. His sister, Ashley is sweet, but Brent is a dick.”
“So noted,” was really all I could say. I had no interest in Brent to begin with, so it didn’t really matter what Donovan said about him.
“You’ll cut off all communication?”
“There’s none to cut off. We met, we talked, we separated. I highly doubt I’ll ever have any contact with him, ever.”
“Didn’t you give him your number when you handed him that piece of paper?”
I shook my head no.
“Then what’d you write on there?” Donovan really had no reason to know. Moreover, I wanted him to suffer—if anything, to suffer out of curiosity. “Delaney...!” He pleaded.
“I don’t think it’s any of your business what I wrote on that piece of paper.”
“All right. If you don’t want to tell me, there’s nothing I can do. Just know that it pissed me off to see that asshat smile the way he did after reading your note. That’s why I slipped again and accused you of giving him your number.”
“Look,” giving off a heavier sigh than intended, I was unsure what I exactly wanted to say. “We’ve had this conversation before. I can forgive your overbearing big brother attitude, but I can’t easily forgive you questioning my reputation. I’ve done nothing to have you or anyone question what I have and have not done with other men. As a matter of fact, yours was the first real...” Shit. I didn’t mean to confess that part. How utterly embarrassing. I could feel myself turning red.
I caught Donovan’s attention. He wasn’t going to let this one go easily. “I was your first what?”
“Nothing.” I tried to play it off.
It wasn’t working. “Oh no you don’t! You can’t say something like that and not finish your statement. Give it up Delaney Reid!”
“No,” I begged. “It’s really embarrassing. I can’t finish that statement. It shouldn’t have even come out to begin with.”
“Shit. There’s no fucking way you are getting out of this one. I know how to get it out of you.” He spoke with the server passing by, and she eventually produced a beautiful box. It looked like an old-fashioned hatbox, except it was square rather than round.
“What’s this?”
H
e gave me that devilish grin that made his eyes look as shiny blue as Ian Somerhalder, his face as handsomely chiseled as David Beckham, his hair as stylishly unmanageable as Harry Styles, and his smile as gorgeous as Bradley Cooper. How could a man be this beautiful?
“It’s a gift for you I had the hostess hold onto till we were done with dinner. This is yours in exchange for the rest of that sentence.”
Was I going to make this deal? As much as I didn’t want to, I knew I couldn’t stand to leave this box unopened.
“Just agree. I know this is a weakness of yours. I’ve heard stories about you sneaking down early Christmas morning to open up, and then rewrap your gifts. Curiosity will kill you, Little Girl.” He now laughed an evil laugh.
“That’s mean!”
“No. You leaving me hanging to wonder what you were going to say is mean.”
“All right. You’ve got a deal. BUT, I get to decide when I’m going to give you the rest of the information.”
“No way. What if you reneg?”
“I promise I won’t reneg. It’ll take me a bit of time and courage to finish that sentence. It’s embarrassing.”
Donovan considered it briefly, then handed me the box. “I’m trusting you to keep your word.”
Smiling big, I was like a little girl on Christmas morning, unwrapping the best looking present under the tree. The present inside far exceeded my expectation, and was a million times more beautiful than the timeless box. “What?” I couldn’t finish the sentence, again.
“I’d never seen a more beautiful sight than that of you walking in wearing this dress. It was made for you.”
“But Bee needs this for her spring collection. This was going to be her pièce de résistance. I can’t take this.”
“It’s yours. No one can wear this like you can. I convinced Bee to give it up. She’ll make a new one—in fact, that’s probably what she’s doing right now.” He chuckled. “Look in the box, there’s more.”
I quickly looked back in, and waiting for me was a medium-sized black box with the word CHANEL written in white, right dab in the middle.
“Open it,” he urged when I stopped.
Once the box was opened, a good-sized incredibly soft jewelry box was waiting for me. It had the signature quilted Chanel sheep-skin fabric with a short chained double-C as one zipper slider, and a tiny Chanel lock with key as the other zipper slider. I had no jewelry to place inside this beautiful box, but knowing it came from Donovan, I’d cherish it forever.
“It’s gorgeous, but...” As much as I loved all that Donovan had given me, I didn’t want anything out of guilt. No matter how desperate I was for this man’s attention, I didn’t want anything because he felt the need to make amends. “You don’t have to buy me anything. You’ve bought me all those dresses already, and the shoes. I was hurt when you made that comment at the wedding, but this gesture isn’t necessary.”
“Unzip the jewelry case,” he gently urged.
I did as he told me to do. Wrapped around a black cushioned-pillow that sat from one end of the jewelry case to the other was a modern-day version of the camellia necklace I wore to the wedding. He knew...he understood my intentions to match us, camellia for camellia, at the wedding. It was slightly embarrassing that he caught on to my childish pairing, but I was thrilled he paid enough attention to me to notice Gram’s necklace.
I must have looked at him in awe. “Thank you for my button covers and cuff links.”
“How’d you know it was me?”
“I didn’t at first. When I found the gift in my pockets, I figured it was Bee being thoughtful. It was only when you turned away from me, with eyes full of tears, that I noticed the dramatic camellia dangling from your back. My big regret—among a myriad of regrets that night—was that we didn’t get a picture together. We will have to go out again one night wearing the same outfits. We would’ve looked great next to one another.”
“All these gifts are too much. I don’t know what to say. I should return them to you, but to be honest, I want to keep them all; they’re exquisite.”
“They are all for you, Delaney.”
“I guess what I’m trying to say is, you don’t have to buy these for me because you feel guilty. All you had to do was apologize.”
“These gifts were yours the moment I saw you walk in. I knew I’d convince Bee to let you have this dress. And the necklace—think of it as a thank you for my thoughtful gift.” Whether or not we’d ever get to dress up in our matching outfits and spend an evening together, I’d cherish Donovan’s thoughtfulness. “Will you excuse me? It’s a client calling and I need to take this,” Donovan said, looking at his ringing phone.
“Sure.”
While he stepped out, I took out a pen and a piece of paper and scribbled,
Yours was my first real kiss. I will remember it, always.
Quickly folding the note, I stuffed it in Donovan’s pocket again and hoped he would find this note long after I was gone.
“Shall we leave?”
It was late, and this was possibly my last meeting with Donovan till I got back home next year. Did I tell him I was leaving on Thursday? Would he really care? What would it accomplish for me to tell him I was leaving? What could he possibly say but, “oh,” or “have a nice trip?” Tonight was a memory I wouldn’t forget, no matter the passing of time. Rather than leaving one another on an awkward note, I thought it best to be able to flashback to such a wondrous time, for me.
“What’s on your mind?” Donovan asked with a flashing of a devious smile. “Could it be how you are going to finish that one particular sentence?”
I laughed. “No. I’ve already figured out how to finish that sentence. You’ll have to figure out where I’ve hidden it.” I flashed back an equally devious smile, and got out of the car that was parked in my driveway. “I’ll give you a hint. This car holds the rest of my sentence. If you can find it, it’s yours to keep. If you can’t, then I’ve held up my part of the bargain; you can’t blame me if you’re curious the rest of your life.” I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek one last time. “Thank you,” I whispered with much sadness. I love you, and will remember tonight for a very long time.
Donovan barely noticed me leaving as he furiously searched the car for my note. I saw him bend over and open the glove compartment. By the way he was moving his arms, it looked like he was dumping all the contents onto the passenger seat. Watching him from my window, frustration mounted with each minute, as he couldn’t find the note. He gave up, sooner than I’d hoped, and pulled the car out of the driveway and left.
May 29, 2013 Confession
Tonight was it. My last night in LA, and my last chance to tell Donovan how I felt. I guess my feelings were the worst kept secret as just about everyone on this block seemed privy to my heart. I’ve been encouraged by Grandfather and Gram, Mom and Dad, Jake and Emily, and even Max, to reveal my hand and heart to Donovan. I feared rejection—though my life with Donovan Taylor had been nothing but...
“Won’t you consider telling Donovan how you feel before leaving, tomorrow?” Jake encouraged me one last time.
I’d had a nice dinner with my parents and Doug, and we got through the meal without Mom crying about me leaving. I walked over to Emily and Jake’s to spend a little more time with them before my graduation and move, tomorrow.
“I don’t know, Jake. That’s a tough one. I’ve held it in for so long...and I’m afraid of his reaction. If he laughs at me or rejects me outright, I’d be devastated. I like thinking that there’s a miniscule possibility of him being interested in me. That gives me hope. Though, I’m leaving to get rid of all this hope.”
“But Laney,” Emily interjected. “That’s not the only reason why you’re leaving. When you first came up with the idea of moving away for a year, wasn’t it to experience life abroad and to enjoy your year before starting another round of school? Donovan wasn’t the main reason why you had decided to leave, wa
s it?”
“Donovan wasn’t the reason at all, initially, but as the days pass, it gets harder and harder to be near him and know that he doesn’t return my feelings. I feel like an obsessed fan. He makes me so incredibly happy when I’m with him and he gives me attention, but I’m also so miserable when he doesn’t find me interesting. I don’t like what I’ve become, and I’ve got a golden opportunity to start fresh somewhere new.”
“You may be surprised at Donovan’s response if you tell him how you feel.”
A part of me thought that maybe Jake knew something I didn’t know. Perhaps his best friend had confided in him. Nevertheless, did I want to be the one to confess my feelings first, especially having no idea how the other person felt about me? There was no way I was going to take that chance.
“I’ll think about it, Jake. But I’m not making any promises. I most likely won’t get up the courage to tell him. He doesn’t even know that I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“He doesn’t?” Emily was surprised to find out. “Why haven’t you told him? What if he wants to stop you from leaving? For all you know, he may have feelings for you.”
A bit confused as to why both Jake and Emily continually urged me to confess my feelings to Donovan, my hope grew. If anyone knew anything about Donovan’s feelings, it would be these two. Were my eyes closed to some obvious feelings? Donovan had been hot and cold, but I always believed it had everything to do with him feeling like my older brother and protector, rather than a man interested in a woman.
Unable to sleep after such a conversation, I got up the courage to drive over to Donovan’s. Sitting outside his house for a few minutes, I came up with several scenarios as to why I was here so late at night. I could tell him the truth and leave the ball in his court. I could tell him I was here to say good-bye. I could tell him...there were no other options but the first two. Either reveal my feelings or fall back on saying good-bye. I could do this!