by Cee, DW
“Come sit with me. You’ll be a lot more comfortable.” I put out my hand and hoped she would grab at my invitation. Once again she didn’t know what to do with my hand, and she gave a tentative smile but shook her head no. Knowing how she felt in my arms, I needed her with me one more time, especially if tonight was going to be our last.
Grabbing her by the waist, I gently pulled her between my legs and against my chest. This was where she belonged. I didn’t know why I was getting sentimental and maudlin. So, this was our last night together; it was no big deal. We’d watch the show in each other’s arms, say good night, and then never ever get into such a predicament again. She’d find a nice boy, I’d find a sweet woman to marry and we’d run into each other at family events from time to time. That was what was to be of us. For only one night, I would give this girl my heart and body—but just for tonight.
“You cold?” I asked when I felt her shivering against me.
She answered, “No,” but I could see goose bumps all over her arm. Before Delaney pulled out Bee’s shawl, I pulled her body more deeply into my own and placed my arms completely around her. She turned herself more comfortably into me, and her arm swung around my back as she lay into me. With the side of her face lying on my chest, we made the picture-perfect couple, canoodling under the tree. Giving her a barely-there kiss on the side of her head, I asked, “Comfy?”
I could see her face break into a cautious smile as she answered, “Yes.”
Damn! This felt good! I would miss this. I would miss this a lot…
The concert was over too soon, and I had to drive her home because I’d run out of excuses to keep her with me. Delaney waved good-bye without a clue this would be our last “date.” I waved good-bye regretting there hadn’t been more “dates.”
“I hear from a big birdie that you went on a date with my cousin?”
“Damn! Do you get up this early every day?”
“Buddy, I’m at the hospital, scrubbed to go into surgery in a few minutes. Consider yourself honored I took time out of my busy schedule to call.”
“Honored my ass. You and your uncle run a gossip column over there during your free time? If you’ve already heard the news at this hour, you guys have way too much time on your hands.”
“I feel like I’ve sent James on his first date this morning. I’m a proud papa. I want all the details.”
“Dude. Go to your surgery. There’s nothing to tell.”
“New dress, shoes, brought her home at midnight—really nothing to tell?”
I was damn annoyed by the intrusion, but I still laughed at this 5:00am conversation. “I didn’t realize your uncle was such a gossip.”
“Explain in details, Donovan Taylor. That’s a direct command from my wife. It’s not me who’s curious. It’s Emily. I’m just doing her bidding.”
“Yeah right.” I found it highly doubtful. “So I should just call Emily instead of telling you right now.”
“You could, but I may call you tomorrow morning at the same time to get the same information from you so why don’t you just tell me what happened last night with my cousin.”
“I swear, nothing happened.” I stressed those last few words. “She was being a brat accusing me of sabotaging her date last night, so I took her to the observatory. We saw the stars, listened to music, and then we came home.”
“That’s it? Did you buy her more clothes? Something you swore you’d never do for a woman?”
“I did, but it wasn’t wholly my doing. Bee pushed a bag of clothes on me and since she didn’t give me any shoes, I had to go get her a pair.”
“Uh-huh...” Now Jake sounded highly doubtful. “No holding hands, no kissing, no snuggling under the stars…you didn’t try your famous Donovan Taylor moves on her?”
“Did you want me to try some of my moves on your cousin? Your twenty-two-year-old cousin?”
“Hell no! I just want to make sure that you didn’t.”
“Dude, nothing happened. We had a good time and that’s it. This will not happen again.”
“You didn’t see stars when you hung out with Laney? No heart beating fast, sweaty palms because you’re nervous, tingling sensation to parts of your body that I shall not mention?”
“Are you going chick-lit on me now? Whatever you felt for Emily when you were first dating was not what I felt last night. We are just friends. She is much younger than I am and I don’t see her in the way that you would like for me to see her. In fact, I’ve decided whatever I felt for Delaney was in the past. We will not be ‘dating’ ever again. We are through.”
“Are you sure? That’s a strong statement you’re making—one you may not be able to keep.”
“Positive.”
“Damn! I thought maybe you had finally opened your eyes. All right, I’ll report back to the wife. She’s not going to be satisfied.”
“At the rate you keep popping out kids, I’m sure you’ll satisfy her in other ways.”
“Damn right I will. I thought maybe things were going well enough that you and Laney would be popping out a kid by this time next year.”
“Stop being such a matchmaking mama and get to your surgery,” I chuckled.
“You going to be at Emily’s dinner tonight?”
“Wouldn’t miss it. Can’t wait to see the look on her face when I give her the fabulous present I got for her.”
“See you then.”
Especially after talking to Jake this morning, I decided it wouldn’t do any good to raise the family’s expectations, or hope. Everybody around me was so gung-ho on a Donovan–Delaney match, but this match wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t on my radar now, and regardless of what Delaney might have felt, with her leaving soon, I was sure she’d agree we didn’t suit. When I saw her tonight, I’d be courteous, but I would not show any added interest.
“Happy birthday to my favorite mama of three.” I greeted my best friend’s wife with a lush kiss on the cheek, as close to her lips as possible to piss off my best friend, but he read my intention and pulled her away just in time.
“Kiss your own damn wife.” Jake then added with an evil grin, “That’s right, you don’t have one.” He took hold of his wife and kissed her open-mouthed in front of me.
“Show-off Bastard!” I muttered while he continued to make-out with Emily, in front of me.
“Stop,” the sensible wife commanded.
“Happy Birthday, Sweet Wife!” He couldn’t keep his hands off her beautifully pregnant body.
I’d never been one to think that a pregnant woman was beautiful, but on this sweet woman, it was lovely. My best friend had chosen his ideal partner and they were perfect together.
“Open the gift,” I said breaking up their harmony.
Emily smiled huge when she saw the present.
“Oh, Donovan!” she said with the grandest smile I’d seen all night. “This is...this has got to have set you back quite a bit,” she laughed, “but I’ll take it. Thank you. What a generous and wonderful gift.”
“I want you to let everyone know that I got you season tickets to the best seats in the house for this upcoming opera season.”
“Yes, Sir,” she said with a wink. “I will send out that email to everyone I know!”
“You got a good woman there Jake,” I said patting both of them on their backs as I walked outside to join the party.
As Murphy’s law and fate would have it, the first person I ran into was Delaney. She looked incredibly sweet tonight, from her outfit, to her hair tied-back, to her smile. For the first time ever, there was no tentative smile. She gave me a full-blown, blow me away, knock my socks off, give me a hard-on, smile. I regretted my decision to stop “courting” her attention, but I needed to stay strong. Some serious ignoring had to happen tonight if I was going to stick to my resolution.
“Hi,” was all I said before leaving her standing there with that exquisite smile. I bolted to the men’s table, but c
aught a glimpse of her happiness faltering as soon as I proceeded to walk away from her. I was a world-class asshole but it was for the right reason. Delaney, trust me when I say this is for the best. You’d only be brokenhearted when we eventually went our own ways. We would both find significant others and forget we’d ever held an interest in one another.
“Hey. You gonna stop looking over at the empty seat and answer my question?” My buddy was always so keen to point out where my eyes were wandering. “Either go after her or stay here and join our conversation. Stop looking like a lost puppy because your owner isn’t in the same room with you.”
The witty comeback wasn’t there. Jake was right. I was staring at the seat that Delaney had occupied ten minutes ago. After hanging out with her family for part of the night, she left to help Emily put the kids down, came back briefly, and then left again to walk her grandmother home. Jake was right when he said I looked like a lost puppy. I felt like a lost puppy. Even though I wasn’t talking to her tonight, there was a comfort in knowing she sat only a few tables away from me. I felt empty without her there and I knew after our initial exchange, she was avoiding me as well. I couldn’t take any rejection from her. I had to talk to her one last time. Where was my bold resolve now?
“Just go,” Jake encouraged. “No one will know you’re even gone.”
I jumped at his advice and started toward Jake’s parents’ home, when my peripheral vision caught a swing moving back and forth. It was ridiculous how happy I was to see her sitting there. She was swinging away with no care in the world.
“That looks comfortable.” Out of fright, she put her foot down and kind of jumped. The scared bunny look was adorable. “Why haven’t you come back to Emily’s party?”
She gave me a look that pretty much told me to fuck-off for having been a prick to her the whole night. She wouldn’t say much beyond terse answers to satisfy my questions and she absolutely refused to tell me when she was leaving for London. I had no right to know and since my admission that we wouldn’t work, I shouldn’t have even wanted to know.
“I asked you when you’re leaving so I can come visit you.” Softly and gently should’ve been the way I said these words, but I was getting pissed with the way she pushed me away.
“You don’t have to come all the way to London to pretend you want to be my friend.” Delaney pretty much called me out for being an asshole. “One day, you’re my Prince Charming at the ball—holding my hand, paying court, and dancing with me. The next day, you’re my wicked stepmother—ignoring me, embarrassed to be with me, and hurting me. I don’t need that, so no thank you on the tour guide offer.”
DAMN!
Finally I was doing a fine job of being just friends with Delaney. It was damn easy when...I was in New York on a business trip. I know! I could be a world-class chickenshit! Softball season was done and I had absolutely not one reason to come in contact with her. It would be a lie if I said I didn’t miss her. NEVERTHELESS, this was for the best for both of us.
“And to what do I owe this great honor of getting a phone call in the middle of the day, Sis?” Amanda was unexpectedly calling me.
“I don’t know why you’re so surprised I’m calling my favorite brother.”
“I’m your only brother.”
“So? Can you say without a doubt that I’m your favorite sister?”
“I can.” Amanda, the oldest sibling among the Taylors, was my favorite sister any time, any day.
“Bullshit!”
“You always were a suspicious one, Amanda. Your poor husband must always be on his best behavior just so you won’t jump to any wrong conclusion about his actions.”
“Damn right he’s always on his best behavior.” That brought out a chuckle from the both of us. I loved talking to my oldest sister. She was comic relief any time, any day. “What have you been up to my favorite brother? Becky said she had a great time out in LA during Mother’s Day. And we saw Al the other week when he was out this way for business and he gave us some interesting information about you. You holding out on me, Little Brother?”
Stupid Al would open his big mouth. “I have no idea what Al told you. Why would I hold out on you?”
“I’m told there’s a beautiful blonde out there who has caught your eye.” Amanda gave that motherly pecking, heckling tone. There was no way I was getting out of this conversation without giving her some answers.
“Did you have a happy Mother’s Day? I assume hubby and the kids made you breakfast in bed and treated you like a queen all day?”
“I did have a wonderful Mother’s Day. As always, I need to thank my little brother who sends the most beautiful arrangements to a woman who is not his mother. I appreciate those flowers and the flowers you send every year, but you’re not getting out of this conversation, Donny. Fess up!”
“You know whenever you say those two words ‘fess up’ I always feel like I’m seven-years-old and have committed a sin.” Amanda was sidetracked but not for long. As much of a mother hen Amanda was while I was growing up, she was never-ending fun for me. I loved hanging out with her. She was the mother with only a hint of mothering, and the cool older sister all my friends enjoyed talking to and wished was theirs. I hoped one day when I had a boatload of kids, they would all have a great relationship like my siblings and I did and still do.
“Tell me about this Laney Reid, whom I have not seen since she was probably five years old. The only thing I remember about her was that she had thick blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, and she looked like one of those dolls you see on the shelf of an expensive toy store.”
My sister’s memory was intact. “She’s also about 5’8”, has a knockout body, and can make me laugh like nobody’s business.”
“You sound happy, Little Brother.” I knew my sister was smiling for me on the other end.
“Amanda, you know I’m always happy.”
Amanda warned, “Stop beating around the bush. Tell me what’s in your heart. We all want to see you happy and settled.”
“All right. I’ll tell you what’s in my heart. I am very drawn to this girl. It’s more than an attraction, but maybe not quite love. When I’m with her, I wonder when we will see each other again. When we spend time together, I don’t want that time to end. We make each other laugh, we argue quite often, and she is the brightest, wittiest, most brilliant girl I’ve ever met.”
“So…are you two dating now? I guess maybe I should ask how she feels about you? I assume she reciprocates?”
“We will not be dating.” It did funny things to my heart to tell Amanda that Delaney and I would not date, ever.
“Why not? You two sound perfect for one another. Does she not feel the same way? Does she have a boyfriend? Oh my gosh, is she married already? I’m so sorry. She’s already married and you’re in love with a married girl.”
All my sisters were exactly alike. Even before a story was told, they had their own ending. “I don’t know if she likes me. Though, what woman doesn’t like me? I will, of course, assume she does.” Amanda let out an exasperated groan. “She does not have a boyfriend, and no she is not married.”
“Then what’s the matter Donny?” Now the mother hen was coming out.
“After Kate, I don’t want any more extremes. Delaney is almost ten years younger than I am, and we are at completely different stages in our lives. As attracted as I am to her, we are not right for each other. My heart wants Delaney, but my mind tells me she’s not it.”
“Donny. You’ll regret it if you don’t follow your heart.”
“What if I told you that though my heart champions Delaney, my mind thinks Jane would be a more plausible candidate?”
“Jane? Jake’s sister, Jane? You like her as well? You’re attracted to her, too?” With the way the volume of her voice raised by each word, I knew Amanda was close to asking what the hell was the matter with me.
“I don’t like Jane...I mean I like her, but not as much as...Delan
ey. I don’t know, Amanda,” I let out a huge sigh. “I suppose I’m curious about her. Better put, I’m attracted to all of Jane’s qualities. What I like most is how easily our relationship works. She and I can relate to one another as friends, as co-workers, and we have a solid, long-standing friendship. We understand one another, and I think that would make for a comfortable relationship.”
“Would Jane make you giddy if you happened to run into her at the grocery store? Would she frustrate you if she stood you up for a dinner date? Would she break your heart if she loved another man?” My sister was always the life-sage.
“First of all, your brother would never hang out at a grocery store. He would never ever be stood up on a date, and why would anyone prefer another over me?” I kidded with a heavy heart.
I couldn’t admit this to even my sister, but yes, it thrilled me anytime I ran into Delaney on the cul-de-sac. I had been going there more often than necessary for that very chance. All the “dates” we had, I couldn’t have imagined being there with any other woman. And as for a broken heart, I knew my heart wouldn’t feel whole if she couldn’t freely share hers with me.
“Donovan?”
“Yeah?”
“You have something you want to tell me?” She knew. Amanda understood my heart and its longings.
“...not yet, Sis. But I promise you’ll be the first to hear if I have a confession.”
“You take care, Donny. I love you.”
“Love you too, Sis. Give your family a hug and kiss for me.”
The trip to New York was a quick one and after that call from Amanda, I missed Delaney. The cold cut-off was making my heart ache and I hated this emptiness. Since I couldn’t exactly call Delaney and ask her out, I called Jake from JFK and scheduled a tennis match with him. There was a tennis court at Uncle Dave’s house. Perhaps I’d get lucky enough to run into Delaney on the cul-de-sac.
I rushed over to Jake’s as soon as I landed. “You ready, Jake?” I walked into the Reid kitchen to find my beautiful godchildren smiling at me.