by Cee, DW
I agreed and she tore into the box like I knew she would. As soon as she saw the dress, her expression lit up the dark sushi bar.
“I’d never seen a more beautiful sight than that of you walking in wearing this dress. It was made for you.” She was tearing again, but this time, I was sure it was out of happiness. “No one can wear this like you can. Look in the box, there’s more.”
More carefully this time, she opened the Chanel box and with fragile hands took out the necklace.
“Thank you for my button covers and cuff links,” I said while putting the necklace on her. It looked as perfect as I thought it would.
“All these gifts are too much. I don’t know what to say. I should return them all to you, but to be honest, I want to keep them all, they’re so exquisite.”
“And they’re all exquisite on you. They are all for you, Delaney.”
Delaney complained about the magnitude of the gifts. I tried to convey that these weren’t gifts just out of guilt. The dress was because it belonged to her, the necklace was a thank you for her generosity, and the jewelry case was just because it was soft and beautiful and another gift I wanted to give. I hoped she understood all of these were from my heart. This girl meant a lot to me. Whether or not I showed it properly, she was like family and when she hurt, I hurt.
The rest of dinner and our drive home, we were back to our effortless rapport. When I wasn’t putting my foot in my mouth where this girl was concerned, we had a fun time together. She matched me wit for wit, humor for humor.
I waited for her to give me the answer to my riddle, but she held back. I could see the torment - how can I get away from telling him? That’s what her face conveyed.
“What’s on your mind?” I tried to tease the information out of her once we got to her house. “Could it be how you are going to finish that one particular sentence?”
Her lips curled into a sweet smile. “No. I’ve already figured out how to finish that sentence. You’ll have to figure out where I’ve hidden it.”
“That’s not fair. It could be anywhere.”
“I’ll give you a hint. This car holds the rest of my sentence. If you can find it, it’s yours to keep. If you can’t, then I’ve held up my part of the bargain; you can’t blame me if you’re curious the rest of your life.” She gave me an innocent kiss on the cheek and mouthed, “Thank you.”
Something about the way she said those two words made my stomach drop. Those two words were happy words, but the way she said them made them sound more like a good-bye. I didn’t think much more because I was on the hunt to find the damn sentence.
After searching high and low, it was too dark to make any sense of what was in the car. I’d try again first thing in the morning.
“What’s with the impromptu get-together?” I asked Jake, who surprisingly took time out of his busy day and asked to play tennis at the club.
“We didn’t get to play the other day. We ended up losing money to that card shark.” We both found that night incredulous. “Did you know Laney was such a gambler?” Jake actually believed I would know this answer?
“How the hell would I have known if you didn’t know? You should have warned me. In the end, I owed her $850!” I complained.
“I had no idea, though I should have suspected when Uncle Henry folded almost every round. Poor Derek, I think he was out a good $200, too.”
“That was money he would’ve spent on Laney anyhow. He broke even.”
“Did you ever pay my cousin back the $500 you borrowed from her?”
“No. I tried to give it to her, but she wouldn’t take it. In fact, she slipped $350 of my original money back in my jacket pocket.”
“And you took it?”
“I didn’t take it, per se. I found the money folded in an ace card with a cryptic inscription that said, ‘fold.’ Who else would have given me that advice but your cousin?”
“She’s always been deceptively comedic.”
“She sure has. Are we playing tennis tonight or are we going to sit in the parking lot talking about Delaney?”
“That depends on you.”
I veered us, instead, to the clubhouse and we sat to dinner. Jake had that seriousness that meant we had a long night ahead of us. Last time I saw something close to this look, was when he had lost Emily.
“What’s up? You’re acting like a chick, again.”
“What are you thinking about…” He shook his head as if he was erasing his thought and started over. “What do you think about Laney?”
“Again?”
“I’m being serious. You’re going to lose her, you know. If you can’t admit you’re in love with her, then tell me that you’re at least interested in her.” Jake wasn’t kidding around tonight. I had no clue why he was so intense.
“What is it you want from me? If I admit I’m interested, then what? She’s a decade younger than I am. I told you a long time ago that I wouldn’t do this extreme dating anymore. I don’t want it. Kate ruined a lot of things for me. We died a slow and ugly death and it only just ended last month.”
“You can’t compare Kate to my cousin. They are polar opposites. Laney is the woman you’re looking for—warm, caring, sweet, funny, smart...her selling points are endless.”
“I agree. She is all that and more. However, she’ll be all that for some other man. I’d like a more even-keeled relationship. That’s why I think Jane…”
“Don’t go there.” Jake was now angry. “I see them going to the altar very soon. Unless I’m wrong, Max will propose soon and she will be completely off the market.”
Shit. I guess I was losing that opportunity, too. I knew I pushed the Jane card more because I didn’t want to dissect my feelings for Delaney. I was the ultimate asshole for thinking of another woman when it wasn’t even my truest intention.
“I’ll tell you what I told Amanda.” I had to give Jake something. “I’m attracted to Delaney. I enjoy being with her, I look forward to being with her, and I grow a little more attached to her every time we’re together.”
Jake had found some hope in my answer. “She’s leaving soon. You know that?”
“Yeah, I know. Don’t worry so much, Jake.” I patted him on the back. “I’ll settle down one of these days, and I’m sure Delaney will find a good man too. You’re good to think of the both of us, but I am firm in my belief that we are not right for each other, no matter the attraction.”
“We’ve been best friends for a long time and you helped me when I was in need. Please trust me when I tell you to reevaluate your feelings for my cousin. Don’t regret not having explored something wonderful with this sweet girl.”
Jake, most likely at Emily’s urging, was on a mission tonight. “I promise to think it through.” I’d do that because I trusted Jake to have my back and my best interest—always.
“Delaney, what a nice surprise,” I greeted her at my door, late at night. Right now wasn’t an ideal time, but I was thrilled to see her. Since Ashley’s wedding and especially after my talk with Jake, I took his advice and thought about where Delaney fit in my life. After some wrestling, I admitted to myself it would be hard to live without her. So many times I tried to stay away, not wanting anything complicated. That only resulted in misunderstandings and eventual arguments. I wasn’t sure I was in love with this impossible girl, but now I was finally willing to figure things out between us. Nothing about us looked good on paper. She was too young, too innocent, and too idealistic. I was in my thirties and wanting to settle down, I had been around the block many times over, and I understood the ugly reality of our vast differences. Despite all this and despite all my denials, only she filled my entire day with thoughts of her and us. If this was love, then I was in deep—whether or not I wanted to admit it.
“I’m sorry to barge in on you at your home. Jake gave me your address and I wanted to...”
“Would you like to come in?” Kate asked before I could. Damn Kate wa
s getting territorial again. Kate and two associates had come to my home to finish up a project. I knew this didn’t look innocent, but I’d explain everything once Delaney and I were alone.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Taylor. I came by to...never mind. It’s not important. I’ll get going.” I pushed Kate out of the way to stop Delaney from leaving.
“Wait, Delaney. Kate’s leaving soon. I’ll stop by and we’ll talk?”
“You don’t have to. It was nothing important.”
“I have a meeting right now and it’ll be over soon. I have your graduation present and I want to see your face when I hand it to you. Wait up for me? It might be a bit late to ring your doorbell, so wait for me on the swing in your front porch. I should be there soon.” This was where we’d have our talk. I’d explain my feelings for her and if all went well, she’d reciprocate. We’d talk about the pros and cons of our situation and come to a resolution about us. If I read our situation correctly, Delaney, too, was fighting her feelings for me. We’d decide together where we wanted to head with this relationship. I was unsure where we would end up, but I was excited to figure it all out.
“All right.” She smiled sweetly and waved good-bye.
Then it all went to hell!
Fast forward to today—I received the shock of my life during a meeting. The news was so earth shattering; I halted the meeting to call my best friend.
“Need I guess why you are calling me at this hour?”
“Tell me she did not leave without saying good-bye to me. I just saw Delaney right outside the conference room talking with Roland and Jane and next thing I know she’s gone. You have been my best friend since birth, and I need you to be honest with me. Is Delaney gone?” I was frantic, I was desperate, and I knew Jake would help.
“She’s gone. She graduated this morning and her flight takes off in a couple hours.”
I couldn’t believe what I just heard. “Why the hell did she leave without saying good-bye or at least telling me that she was leaving? I had no clue she was leaving today.” I couldn’t help the anger in my voice. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me she was leaving?”
“I tried, but you wouldn’t listen.” When was that? “Did Laney not come see you last night?”
“She did. I saw her briefly, but I didn’t end up going to see her last night as promised. I just figured I’d talk to her today. How do you know she came to see me last night?”
“Emily and I encouraged her to go say good-bye to you. Were there any words spoken between you two?” I didn’t have the patience for Jake’s run-around today.
“Stop beating around the bush, Jake. What is it that you want to say? I’m not up for your matchmaking-behind-the-scenes.”
“Let’s back up a little, Donovan. What makes you so frantic? Why are you so upset that Laney left? You knew she was leaving. This is nothing new. You clearly told me you did not want anything to do with her but to be her friend. You didn’t care that she was leaving.”
I never felt my heart so constricted, my chest on fire, like somebody was choking me—grabbing me by the jugular and choking the hell out of me. It felt like I had lost all control. “I wanted to have a talk with Delaney last night. I was in the middle of a meeting with Kate and a couple of associates at my house when Delaney showed up. Kate answered the door and Delaney didn’t look thrilled to see Kate, but I thought I could explain everything when I saw her.”
“What is it that you wanted to explain to Laney?”
I guess it was confession time. I was hoping to have this talk with Delaney first, but I needed somebody to listen to me and I needed to talk out my frustration. “The past few weeks...maybe it’s more like the past few months, things have been different for us. One day I would swear her off and believe I didn’t want anything to do with her, and then the next day I couldn’t live without her. I’ve been fighting myself but right now, my resolve to stay away is gone. Whenever I’m with her, I want to be with her more. I think about her all the time, and I can hear her laughing throughout the day. I may think differently tomorrow but today, I want her in my life and I want to be in her life.
“And this is what you were going to tell her?”
“Something like that. I wanted to see where she was at because unless I’m wrong, I thought she felt the same way.”
“You can always go see her in London. You know where she will be living.”
“Shit, why didn’t I think of that? You’re a genius.” Why hadn’t I thought of going out to London to talk to her? Sure it was an inconvenience to be so far away, but if she felt for me what I felt for her, we could make this work whether in the same city or on different continents.
“You’re welcome. Now I have patients to go see. Is this counseling session over?” Jake was laughing at me.
“Tell me one thing, Jake. Why did she keep this date a secret from me?”
“You’ll see her soon enough. Ask her. Good-bye.” The jerk hung up on me.
I ran over to Roland’s office to get permission to take a few days off and visit Delaney in London.
“Roland?” He motioned for me to come in while he was finishing a phone call. “May I take off for a few days and go to London?”
Roland raised his eyebrows and gave me a suspicious look. “Why?”
“I have some personal matters I’d like to attend to in London.”
“There are some clients out in London giving me a headache. If you will go see them in my stead, and make sure my granddaughter is well settled, then I give you my permission.”
“Thanks Roland. I promise to take special care of your clients and granddaughter for you.”
That was easy enough. There was no reason for me to fret. I would see her in a few days. I would talk to her; I would get her to understand my feelings for her.
To my frustration, I wasn’t able to leave for London for another couple of weeks, and in that same amount of time I hadn’t heard a word from Delaney. Aside from a short text telling me to get lost, and an accidental phone conversation where she was unaware I was the caller, none of my calls were returned.
“Chief. Aunt Babs. What’s going on?” I dropped in on them to talk about Delaney’s lack of response.
“Well, hello Son. What brings you by?”
“Chief, I’ve called your daughter I don’t know how many times, and she’s yet to return any of my messages. Is she all right? Did she lose her phone? Is she so swamped that she can’t return any calls?”
“Maybe you were such an ass to her in the past that she’s avoiding and deleting all your calls and messages.” The chief was dead serious, and I was fucking alarmed.
“Henry,” Aunt Babs reprimanded. “Hello Donovan. How can I help you?”
“Can you call Delaney for me right now and let me speak with her?”
“She’s most likely sleeping right now, Donovan.”
“Why won’t she talk to me, Aunt Babs?”
“I didn’t know she wasn’t talking to you. You haven’t had any form of communication with her?”
“I haven’t. She responded once to my text and asked me not to contact her anymore.” Maybe what the chief said was correct. She was avoiding and deleting all my calls—but why? What had I done to her that would make her want to cut off all ties? I thought she liked me the same way I liked her. “If you can’t give me any answers, will you talk to her and ask her to call me? I desperately need to talk to her.”
“I’ll give her a call when she wakes up, Donovan.” Unnerved, I had this sinking feeling Aunt Babs wouldn’t be able to help.
“Did you know she was leaving?” With no resolution on the cul-de-sac, I went to Bee’s to vent. I was stonewalled with her refusal to talk to me, and borderline depressed.
“I didn’t know till she stopped by to say good-bye, that sneaky girl. I still can’t believe she did this.”
“I’ve called her several times, left messages, and texts, but she won’t return any of them. Sh
e sent me a text saying she is OK and asked me not to visit her. What am I not getting here? Why is she avoiding me like the plague? Do you know something I don’t know?”
Bee thought through her answer before saying anything. “Why do you care? She’ll be back here in a year. It’s not like you and she had anything but a platonic friendship. Why does it bother you that she doesn’t want to have any forms of communication with you?”
“She’s my friend, and friends don’t do shit like this to one another.”
“That’s it? She’s your friend? That’s why you’re going from town to town asking why she won’t talk to you?”
“…she’s grown on me the past few months. With her gone, I feel like there’s this gaping hole in my life. I got up this morning thinking I might take her to dinner tonight, and then realized she wasn’t here anymore. I had bought plane tickets for us to go to Boston so I could take her to a baseball game at Fenway Park as part of her graduation gift. I thought we’d drive through parts of New England, eat oysters that she so loves, and maybe go golfing up in Canada. I had a two-week vacation reserved especially for this purpose. But she’s gone. What do I do now, Bee?”
“Are you in love with her?” Bee asked each word very cautiously. “If you are, you might want to clue her in.”
“I’m not in love with her...I don’t believe. I like her...a lot. I enjoy her company, and we have a good time together.”
“You’re going to travel for two weeks with a woman you’re not in love with? You’re willing to spend all that time, money, and effort with someone you like and enjoy the company of only?” Bee knew the answer I wasn’t willing to admit.
“The night before she left, I was going to talk to her and explain all these feelings I had for her. I wanted to tell her that though our situation wasn’t ideal, if she was willing, I would like us to date. In the recess of my mind, I still believe Jane is a better candidate for my future, but I can no longer deny my feelings for Delaney.”
“Let me tell you something about yourself that you don’t realize. Any time you are forced to own up to your feelings about Laney, you push yourself toward Jane, even though you know Jane’s not the girl for you. You don’t have much of an interest in Jane outside of curiosity. Maybe you were attracted to her at one point in your life, but now it is more of a familiarity than an attraction.”