by Cee, DW
“I can’t wait to be a part of that. It’ll be like those bug-infested camps our parents used to ship us off to when we were younger.”
“You’ll be a fantastic addition to our ever growing street. How will you get yourself to the cul-de-sac?”
“You remember that time when Grandpa Jerry took us to Giverny?”
“Of course.” Jake knew the plan already. “You plan on wooing my cousin under the hanging willows?”
“Yep! I can still picture your grandparents kissing on that bridge. I need that same picture with my future wife.”
“Good luck, and keep us informed.”
“Will do. Thanks!”
Jake’s phone call put me in a grand mood. Though nothing put me in a better mood than seeing the woman I loved.
“You’re back!” She greeted me with her blinding smile and her welcoming body.
I kissed her lips and asked, “Can we leave? Are you done?”
Bee stopped us with one more request before I could whisk this woman off to Giverny. “I would love for Laney to try this on so I can see if it needs alterations.” Bee held up the same dress Delaney wore to Ashley’s wedding, in red. “You don’t by chance have your Grandmother’s necklace, do you? The same one you wore to the wedding?”
“I don’t have that one, but I have this.” I couldn’t believe what I saw. On her neck was the camellia necklace I’d given her before she left me. The “D” charm from Hawaii was also on the camellia. This was so unexpected I couldn’t do much other than smile. “I haven’t taken it off since the night your nephew put it on me,” she confessed. If Bee hadn’t been in this very room with us, I would have loved Delaney right here and now.
“You can stop smiling. She’s gone to change.” Bee nudged me back to reality but I was still feeling like Rocky after he climbed the famous steps with Gonna Fly Now, blaring in the background.
“God, I love that woman.”
“We can all tell.” Bee groaned and rolled her eyes.
On our way, Delaney did her best to figure out where we were headed. “Are we going to Versailles?”
“Nope. We are going somewhere sweeter, smaller, and a lot more romantic.”
“No clues?”
“Maybe I’ll give you a clue if you’ll clue me in on why you wear the camellia necklace every day, and why I’ve only now seen the ‘D’ charm on you.”
“So it was you!” She had that little girl on Christmas morning smile. “Those were all from you—the clutch, the shoes, and the charm?”
“They were.”
While Delaney wanted an explanation on why I gave her those gifts through Emily, I needed to know why she wore the camellia, daily.
What she explained put the final stamp on my loser status. “I wore this daily because...it felt like you were with me, close to my heart, everywhere I went. I missed you horribly when I left you back in the States. That necklace was my only physical connection to you that I could have on me at all times, and I thought maybe if I kept that close to my heart, somehow it would connect us emotionally, too.”
I was the world’s biggest idiot for not having accepted my feelings for Delaney months ago. I should have admitted that we would work and we could’ve avoided months of frustration and pain. After Delaney explained the necklace, I told her about the gifts from Hawaii and how much it bothered me to see her watching Jake and Emily’s relationship with such longing. Since I couldn’t give her anything emotionally, it made me feel better knowing I could give her something.
“You’ve had this necklace on since that night at the sushi bar?”
“Yes, except when I knew I was going to see you. I didn’t want you to think I was some loony stalker-girl wearing a crazy expensive necklace with shorts and a t-shirt.” She was unnecessarily embarrassed.
“You loved me that much?” I loved how much she loved me!
She nodded yes but she looked worried. “And I still love you that much. That’s why I’m scared of you. I’m scared to get hurt. I’m scared to believe. You never showed me an ounce of interest, and now you want to marry me. Would you believe you?”
“Princess, if you are honest with yourself, I showed plenty of interest in you. You were the first and only person I took up to my beach house. Did you know I bought that beach house after Hawaii?”
“No...” She was attempting to figure out where I was going with this conversation. “And you’re telling me this because...”
“I found the beach house before we left for Hawaii, but it was after I saw how much you loved the water that convinced me to buy it.”
“You mean to tell me you bought it because of me?” Her voice squeaked.
“I probably bought it for you,” I confessed.
“You’re so full of shit!”
To seek revenge for that comment, I tickled her. She apologized immediately.
“You can ask Jake the next time you see him. I couldn’t admit it to even myself at the time, but I bought the house because of you and for you.”
“All righty...” She wasn’t convinced. I had to give her more reasons.
“I also didn’t want to be apart from you that night we babysat the twins, so I picked you up when you were sleeping and brought you into my bed.”
“That was you?” She was beyond surprised.
“How else do you think you got from the twins’ room to the guest room?”
“I thought the loser that I was, I walked over to you in my sleep. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t ever stay away from you.”
“It was all me.” It felt good knowing how much I meant to her.
“But then you ignored me the next morning and went to meet up with Kate.”
“I was embarrassed. I figured you knew what I had done so I tried to play it off. And plus, I went to work.”
“Yeah, but I was crushed when I heard you tell Kate to use the keys to your house. It was another reminder of how close you two were and how I could never fit in your world. I knew the only way I wouldn’t hurt so much was not to see any of your interactions. Since you couldn’t stay away from the Reids, I needed to stay away from one Taylor.”
“I’m sorry for hurting you. If I could take away all those painful memories, I would. But do you believe me now when I tell you that you mean the world to me? That I love you?”
She was still hesitant. “I don’t know, Donovan. There’s nothing I want more than to believe in you and your love.”
At least she didn’t say no. That was a move in the right direction.
We arrived in Giverny to another beautiful sight. Delaney loved the gardens as much as I did when I first visited. I took her to the bridge and decided we needed to have our Kodak moment. As I kissed my future bride, I only wished there were photographers to capture our love. This might be the spot where I would propose to Delaney. I’d be sure to have photographers ready, then.
In the middle of this romantic tour, Delaney insisted on calling Michael. I gave her my phone only after she promised she’d break up with him and as fate would have it, he wouldn’t let her break up this silly arrangement of theirs. Making this woman mine was not easy.
To add to my troubles, Delaney asked, “Are you going to ever tell me about you and Jane? Whenever I’m with you, I forget all my woes and live in this giddy fantasy world where everything is perfect. But when I’m not with you, I still see images of you and Jane in that hospital room.”
“Damn!” Was this ever going to get any easier? “Let’s go to dinner and I’ll tell you everything.”
I didn’t remember a relationship being this arduous. With Kate, everything just worked. Or perhaps, neither of us cared to make it more than what it was—a casual fling. With other women, I didn’t remember trying this hard, either. What the hell was I doing so wrong with this one woman?
“Laney! Oh my gosh, it that you?”
“Kelley? What are you doing here in France?”
What the
hell were my sisters doing here? How did they find me? Were there really no secrets among family members?
Becky and Kelley started in on the explanations, and I thought I’d get whiplash from going back and forth listening to the two talk nonstop. Both Al and Noah sat with their mouths shut, nodding their heads in agreement.
“How did you find us?” I asked.
The two went into a frenzy giving all kinds of explanations. I stopped listening and whispered, “They’ll talk your ears off if you allow them. Don’t ask any more questions. We will eat, then run as fast as we can away from them.”
Delaney giggled.
“Laney Reid,” Kelley commented, “I knew from when you were little you had a crush on my brother, but never did I think this was going to happen.”
“This is way beyond my imagination, too.” I wished Becky would keep her mouth shut. I could see this becoming a train wreck. “I thought after seeing Donovan with Jane in Chicago, he’d end up with my best friend.” Hell, this was a head-on collision! “So sorry, Laney. I’m just caught by surprise.” Not all the evil eyes could stop my sister. Not even her husband coming to my defense shut her big mouth. “So then...why Jane? What was with the let’s-have-sex, plane tickets? Shit. I’m so sorry. That’s not what I meant. Laney. They didn’t have sex...right, Donovan? I mean when she spent the night at the Peninsula with you, everything was platonic...right?”
Damn my sister to hell! If she didn’t get there on her own, I’d send her there. Delaney immediately pulled her hand out of mine and almost curled herself into a protective ball. It killed me to see her look so wounded. She flinched when I tried to touch her, and she kept blinking back tears. At one point, I saw her head drop and the tears falling onto her dinner napkin.
“It’s not what you’re thinking. Becky doesn’t know what she’s talking about, Princess. Jane and I were not involved like that. I mean...we were in Chicago together, but...I can explain it all. Please, don’t let what you just heard put a wedge between us.” No matter how much I pleaded, she kept her head down and stayed silent.
Kelley did her best to engage Delaney once she stopped tearing but outside of terse, polite answers, Delaney was done for the evening. Al answered my prayer for this night to be over by getting us all up and into their car. I cringed when Al explained they were all lodging at the same chateaux we would be staying at tonight. This was one hell of a long night.
“If you don’t contain Becky during the car ride, I can’t be responsible for what I might do to her. I don’t care that she’s carrying your child right now. After her idiotic statement at dinner, she may have killed any chances for me to have a child with that woman who looks like she’d like to cry, then kick my ass.”
Al had the gall to laugh at me. “Don’t blame my wife for your idiotic behavior. You did do all that Becky accused you of doing. She didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re really taking Becky’s side?”
“We can hear you.” Noah announced with laughter. “Why don’t we get to the chateaux and you can work your magic on that beautiful woman. I’d like to get to bed with my own beautiful woman.”
I was on pins and needles the entire ride. Delaney only stared out the window.
“You ready to talk?” I only asked this once we settled in our room and I gauged my woman’s mood.
“No. I don’t want to talk. It’s been a long day and I’m tired. Since we left London, I haven’t had a day of rest. Could we push this off for another day?”
“Delaney. We can’t progress if we don’t talk.”
“I don’t know if we should progress. The more I hear, the more disturbed I am, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over whatever progressed between you and my cousin.”
“Nothing happened between us. I mean, nothing of importance happened. My idiotic sister spoke rashly.”
“So you didn’t give Jane ‘let’s-have-sex’ plane tickets?”
“No, I mean yes, I mean...SHIT! Sit down. Let me explain.” Hell and damnation. I was in trouble!
“Donovan, I don’t want to know anymore. I told you earlier that I was afraid of you. This wasn’t an exaggeration. Your past, your words, your actions can hurt me so profoundly. I don’t want that kind of pain anymore and it isn’t healthy for me. Coming to London, I thought I got away from it all. But you brought it all with you, and with a vengeance. What I’m feeling right now is exponentially worse than what I felt in LA. If you truly love me, stop hurting me.” She said these words and left me. As much as I wanted to join her, Delaney didn’t appear to want me anywhere hear her.
I didn’t doubt that Delaney was hurting, but her words killed me. There was no worse a feeling than knowing I hurt my own woman. What kind of man did that? How big of a jerk could I be?
“Hello?” I answered the phone call that wouldn’t go away.
“Can you talk? I called because I was worried. How are you and Laney?”
“Delaney went out for a walk after having a few choice words with me, and I am about to go murder my own sister.” I complained to Kelley.
“Becky feels terrible for what she did. She didn’t mean any harm, Donovan. You know she has no filter at times.”
“What am I to do, Kelley?”
“Are you in love with Laney? Is she the girl for you?” If my own sister didn’t believe me, why would Delaney?
“I love her. I don’t think I can live without her anymore. I want to make her my wife. Do you believe me?”
“This is not another Kate situation? You’re not in love with a fantasy? Laney has turned into one gorgeous woman.”
“I’m not in love with her looks, if that’s what you mean.” Shit! My own flesh and blood saw my love as lust. “She is stunning, but I love her. I fell in love with her months ago, but only admitted it just recently. I’ve done her much harm. It’s anybody’s guess if she’ll forgive me and return my affection.”
“If you’re sincere, I think it’s safe to say she returns your love. She’s been in love with you since she was a little girl. This is just a guess but the pain I saw on Laney’s face when Becky put her foot in her mouth, makes me believe her love for you only deepened with the years. Go make things right with her so we can embrace her as one of our own. Those Reids are not the only ones who can show familial love.”
God, I loved my family—minus Becky! “Thanks, Kelley. I’m going to go find my woman now.”
“Be your usual charming self and that should do the trick.” Kelley laughed at me.
“Unfortunately, that charm doesn’t seem to work on this woman. But, I’ll try my damnedest.”
Kelley gave me my second wind and I headed out to find the woman I hurt deeply.
Your woman is walking around in circles out in the courtyard. We are about to call her over and have a drink with her.
Al would forever be one of my biggest allies. His text saved me much time in this short night.
Please keep her there for me. I’m minutes away.
There was no explaining the relief I felt watching Delaney laugh with my brother-in-laws. “Delaney.” I reached out to her hoping she’d answer back. She greeted me with a relaxed attitude. This was a good sign. “How do you feel?” I was asking about not only her physical condition, but also her emotional and mental condition.
“My body feels like a patient recovering from the flu, and my heart feels like a recovering alcoholic at Oktoberfest.”
I had to laugh. She always had a way with words. “What the hell does that mean, Delaney Reid?” I had us walk back to our room to continue our conversation. “What did you mean back in the garden?”
“My heart is like that of a recovering alcoholic at the biergarten. It knows it’s dangerous to be around you, and yet it can’t say no. You are temptation at its worst. Every time I see you, I desperately want you to see me back. Every time I talk to you, I long to hear you say a kind word to me. And every time
my heart falls deeper in love with you, I search for a sign that you might return even an inkling of that love. That’s what makes you so lethal and me so weak.”
“Delaney.” How could she not see, hear, and feel my love for her? It was like a touring circus with men juggling on stilts and clowns blaring their horns for attention.
“There’s more. Let me finish. There’s a part of me that wants to know the good, the bad, the ugly about Donovan Taylor, but like I told you earlier, you have an enormous amount of power over my heart and I don’t like it. I think I’ve decided during my walk that I am satisfied knowing you loved me at one point in my life. If it all ended tonight, my curiosity would be filled, and I’d eventually find a man who loved me just as much as I loved him.” She broke my heart with her pearl-sized tears dropping from her beautiful blue eyes.
“Delaney Reid,” I answered lovingly. “If you like, I will give you the entire trilogy on Donovan Taylor, the unabridged version. You are not the only one hurting right now. I hurt knowing I’ve done this to you, and I fear wondering if you’ll ever forgive me for all that’s happened in the past few months. I am not satisfied with you knowing that I loved you for this brief a period, and we will not end tonight, nor any other night till one of us dies. As I uncover daily the endless layers of your love, I can confidently say, I will return these layers—in multifold—if you’ll give me a chance. This probably won’t be the first time I’ll disappoint you and break your heart. I haven’t even begun the unabridged version of my life. But bear with me and continue to love me?”
“How do you do this to me all the time?” She was happy and unhappy at the same time. “You have this freakin’ gift, or curse, of making me happy and sad all within the same sentence. Who the hell taught you to play with people’s emotions?”
I am not playing with your emotions, Princess. I wish I could find a way to make you magically believe in me.
Unfortunately, our time at the French chateaux came to a sooner end than I would have preferred. I had an early meeting to attend if I was to make it to the fashion show. Before I delivered Delaney back to Bee, I needed to make sure we could sit one day soon and have our time of openness.