by Cee, DW
“A little overboard, don’t you think?”
“Well, Nick, I am carrying twins, and I will be seven months pregnant. I’m just grateful we get to fly on the private plane. It would be harder to do this on a commercial flight.”
Great. That would mean Bee and I would be flying next to howling babies for twelve hours. “Are you done?” I spoke to Bee only.
“Yes.”
“Can we go to dinner, then?”
“We were all going to go...”
“No Jane.” I was tired of my meddling family. “Take your time leaving. Bee and I are out of here.”
I pulled Bee away from the sewing machine and we were out to the parking lot before anyone could say a word.
“What was that?”
“I’m tired of double dates with my family. I’d like a date without a cousin or a sibling knowing my business.”
“OK...where to?”
“Dinner? A movie? Stupid sex back at your place once the room clears?”
Bee laughed. “Don’t you have school tomorrow? And what about my new collection you were so worried about? According to you, I should be working rather than playing with you.”
“But we play so well together.”
“Tell me something about yourself, Nicholas.” What? Where was this coming from, and worse yet, where was this going? We hadn’t even pulled the car out of the underground parking and she was getting serious.
“Like what?”
“Like your dreams, hopes, future plans...”
“I’ve always wanted to be a restaurateur or a food critic. Even now, I love eating and cooking. But I’m not a good enough chef and I’ve always done well in science so I thought med school might be the next best solution. With Dad, Uncle Henry and Jake enjoying their professions, I have great role models on the cul-de-sac.”
“Laney once told me you were the smartest Reid. Is that true?”
“I don’t know if that’s true. Jake is brilliant at what he does, Dad and his brothers are brilliant in their respective fields, and that freak-of-nature cousin of mine achieved what none of us could achieve in college. She graduated with the highest honors.”
“You guys are all scary smart.”
“We’re only book smart. I find people like you who can create something out of nothing to be scary smart. I love watching you drawing your sketches, or sitting at your monster sewing machine and going at it like you’re playing a concerto on the piano. My favorite might be how straight you can cut a piece of fabric with that super-sized pair of scissors.”
“You’ve watched me that carefully?” Bee was at a loss for words.
“You get into this trance when you’re creating and it’s a beautiful sight.”
“What’s happening, Nick? Why are you so kind to me tonight? Are these your parting words? Are we breaking up?”
I was bothered that she was so surprised. Had I never complimented her in the past?
“No, Bee. I’m sorry if I’ve never said these things to you before. I respect and admire all you’ve accomplished for yourself.”
“Really?”
“Damn, Woman. Why do you doubt my words?”
“You’re more sentimental than your usual self, and I’m not used to this kind of closeness with you. You and I have the physical part of our relationship down, but with everything else, I don’t know what to think. I know you declared the other night that it was just the two of us, but I don’t know what to think when you and I don’t even have a definition for what we are to one other. I’m not reneging on the exclusive dating part, and you don’t have to call me your girlfriend, but because we don’t have a definition to what we are doing, it puts us in a gray area.”
“Is it that important to you that we have a title?” She wouldn’t answer. “Because if it is, I’m willing to call us boyfriend and girlfriend, but I need to warn you, I’m not looking to get married any time soon. To be completely honest with you, I don’t want to be married for maybe another ten years.”
“Do you ever want to get married?”
“I don’t know. There are perfect marriages all around me, but I don’t see myself married.” She sighed. And it wasn’t a good kind of sigh. “Is that going to be a problem for us?” Did I really want to open up this can of worms?
“It might...” She stopped and stared out the front windshield, and didn’t speak for a long time. We sat in complete silence.
“Well?”
“Can I think about what you said?”
“I was hoping to take you away this weekend. I have a place booked at a ski lodge. Can you think about it while we ski during the day and have crazy sex at night?”
I hoped that might bring out the guffaw, but it didn’t. She slowly nodded her head yes, but most unwillingly. I’d have to work hard to convince her that we’d be all right despite the marriage issue.
January 20, 2014 BEE: 5!
“Michael! What brings you here?”
“You coming back from a trip? I was just about to give up and leave.”
“Have you been here long?”
“No, a minute or two. I thought you might want to catch dinner?”
“Sure. Let me drop off my bag and change. It’s a little hot for a ski jacket and pants in LA.”
Michael hung out downstairs while I went up and changed. I briefly wondered if I should text Nick and let him know I would be having dinner with Michael. It seemed silly to check in and get his approval. I’d let him know the next time I saw him.
“Ready?”
Michael knew LA well enough to take me to one of the trendiest restaurants off Melrose Avenue.
“What brings you to my neck of the ocean?” A bottle of wine was opened, we’d ordered, and we were both relaxed enough to converse. Last we were together, we’d kissed and left a few questions lingering.
“Grandfather has some legal issues that he didn’t want his English legal team to handle. He needed a confidant, and I guess Roland Ascot was the person who came to mind.”
“Something bad?”
“Don’t know...he won’t tell me, but he said he needed me in LA with him.”
“I hope it’s nothing serious.”
“He appears fine. He’s no different than his usual self but the duke has a serious poker face, so who knows?” Our first course arrived and we started noshing. “Were you coming back from a ski trip?”
“Yeah. Nick and I took an impromptu ski trip, but had to cut it short because he needed to get back for a study group.”
“So you two are back together? All is right in your world?”
“I don’t know Michael… it is literally day by day with us. We’ve come to a decision to date, but right before we left for this trip, he dropped a bomb and told me that he doesn’t want to get married for at least a good ten years.”
“I’m sure that was an exaggeration. How does one pick an arbitrary number like ten years? I thought that entire family had a fairytale-like story. Aren’t all the couples happily married?”
“They are. It doesn’t get more ideal than the Reid family.”
“Then what’s wrong with Nick?”
“Perhaps it’s me. I’m not exciting enough to want to marry.” I hadn’t thought of that before. “Shit, Michael. You’ve brought your depressing English attitude with you!”
“You think that’s depressing?” He chugged his wine. “Try sitting in the office of the man who married your dream woman. If that wasn’t depressing enough, your dream woman walks into a room full of men and sees only her husband. It was after we called attention to her that she noticed there were three other men in the room.”
“So you finally saw her!”
“I finally saw her, spoke with her, and even touched her.”
“My nephew allowed that?” I was surprised he’d let Michael anywhere near his pregnant wife.
“He held onto her as long as she could be contained. She came over and hugge
d and kissed Harry the Duke, then Michael the future Duke.”
“How was it? Did it hurt as much as you imagined?”
Michael thought about that one. “No. I think what softened the blow was seeing her pregnant stomach. It’s one thing to pine away for a newly married woman. It’s a whole other asshole deed to covet a pregnant woman. Her bulging belly might have cured me.”
“Great news! That calls for a celebration.” We understood the ridiculousness of this conversation. “So what’s next for you, Michael Bennington?”
“Well, since you’re off the market too, I might as well dig a hole and bury myself.” We both got a good laugh. “And after I’m done burying myself, I’m going to start work on a small area of my grandfather’s estate. I have plans drawn up, they’ve been approved, and the builders are set to work. This trip is setting me back a few days.”
“Any new woman in your life?”
“How can there be when I was waiting for you to return? That kiss between us wasn’t hot and heavy enough?” Was he teasing me or was he for real?
“Do we need to talk about that kiss?” Shit. Had I opened Pandora’s box?
“No we don’t. It was New Year’s Eve, everyone kissed someone, and though I think we could explore the chemistry between us, I don’t think either one of us wants to at this time.”
Was Michael correct? “Are you accusing me of not being tempting enough? You, too, wouldn’t want to marry me for ten years?”
“If I had a smart, beautiful, self-assured business-minded woman like you in my life, I’d do everything I could to tie her down in every possible way. You are temptation for any right-minded man.”
“And you and Nick are wrong-minded for not tying me down?”
“We are men and we are stupid. One day we will both wake up and want you at the same time. What will you do then, Bee Taylor?”
“If you’re both open-minded, I don’t mind being pleasured by two guys simultaneously.” Michael didn’t know what to say so he laughed instead.
“When are you coming back to London?”
“In a few weeks. I’m going to stop by New York and drop off the samples I’m working on, then stay in London for five days and open a little showroom for buyers. Will you be there?”
“With bells, whistles and Flakes.”
“I might be willing to favor you over Nick for a few boxes of those chocolate goodies!” I kidded.
“That’s all it takes?” Michael kidded back. “Then what will take my place if a chocolate stick so easily replaced the man you are seeing?”
“A Mr. Whippy cone?”
“Damn! Replaced by a cheap, artificial soft serve ice cream. My title obviously holds no importance to you ignorant Americans.”
“We don’t give a damn about your title.”
“In all seriousness, where will you stay those five days?”
“A hotel? Laney’s Gram’s place?”
“Stay with me. I’ve finally set up my own place, and it’s awfully lonely being in that large space. Why I can hear echoes.” How could I say no?
I agreed without asking Nick. I agreed without thinking through the ramifications of spending five days and nights, alone, with a man. Nothing would happen between us, and I knew neither one of us was interested in the other. But, perhaps five days of gathering kindling could start a fire?
January 23, 2014 NICK: 1!
“Hell NO!” Was the answer I gave her when she told me she would be staying with Michael at his new flat in London. “Why can’t you stay with Ruby, or at a hotel?” I was not down with her staying in some man’s home.
“Because Ruby hasn’t invited me to stay with her, and it’s easier in someone’s home to unpack and organize all my samples. Michael’s helped me set everything up before; he’ll be a huge help, not to mention, I’ll be saving tons of money.”
“Then stay at Gram’s. I’ll get you a set of keys. You can pop up your showroom there if need be.”
“I don’t think your grandmother will want people traipsing through her exclusive home.”
“I said no, Bee.” This damn Michael was making me uncharacteristically jealous.
She didn’t give into my demand, but she also didn’t play the contrarian. I would have a talk with her one more time before she left for London.
“Mom and Emily...would like to invite you...over to dinner one night.” I stammered to get out those words. Shit! Could I have sounded any more uncomfortable than I was just now? I could see Bee’s head spinning and her angry eyes rolling. “What?” I tried to play offense before I knew I’d be forced into playing defense.
“Nothing. Sure. Let your mom and Emily know I would love to come to dinner.” It was never nothing when any woman said it with such annoyance.
“What’s this all about, Bee? You’ve had a sour taste in your mouth since before the ski trip. What are you upset about, now?”
“I was starting to wonder again why I was taking this kind of crap from you or anybody else. What is so wrong with me that you would feel uncomfortable taking me to your parents’ home? Are you embarrassed to be in public with me?”
“Come on, Bee. You know that’s not it at all. Why are we arguing like this again? I hate discord. This is why I didn’t want a relationship.” I probably shouldn’t have revealed this last bit of information.
“And now we get to the crux of the matter. Let me tell you a little bit about myself and maybe that will help you to understand why I am the way I am. Because what you and I have right now, is not working for me.”
“Fuck! Why do you women have to make everything so complicated? Why can’t we just have a good time together and see where it goes?”
“My mom was thirty when she met my dad, who was sixty-five. I think Mom was the same age as my brother Scott, Donovan’s dad. Mom was a gypsy, and she never liked to stay in one place for too long. She met my father on some holistic retreat and they fell in love. They had me right away, and because of my father’s age, he was one tired dad by the time I arrived. He wasn’t the let’s-play-ball, help-with-the-science-project, take-me-camping, have-a-tea-party kind of dad. In all fairness, he had raised four kids already, and he didn’t want to do the dad thing at his age.”
I stopped my schoolwork and sat next to her on the sofa. I enjoyed this revelation time. She’d always asked questions about me, but I never asked anything about her. What a jerk I was.
“So what kind of a childhood did you have with the senior citizen father and the young hippie mother?”
“A lonely one, where my father only wanted to be with his wife. My mother, who never thought she would get married or have kids, liked his idea of a twosome family. Scott and Jamie, by default, ended up welcoming me and raising me. I was their sixth Taylor. As good as they were to me, ultimately, I was not one of their kids. There’s a difference between a brother and sister-in-law taking care of you and your parents raising you. When my father passed away fifteen years ago, Mom slowly went back to her vagabond ways. She’d take extended trips while I was shipped off to summer camps and by my senior year, I think she was gone for half the school year. As soon as I started college, she up and left me for good. I never, ever saw my mom for anything beyond a one-week stretch.”
“So where is this Gypsy mom of yours now?”
“Last I talked to her, she was living with some younger guy teaching yoga at a resort somewhere.”
“You don’t see her during the holidays?”
“Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. It just depends which way the wind blows for her. I’m telling you all this not to say I had an unhappy childhood. I don’t want any violins pulled out for me. I just want you to know that I don’t like uncertainty. I had too much of that growing up. I was uncertain whether Mom would be a Mom and Dad would be a Dad. I’m turning thirty next month, and I don’t like knowing that the guy that I’m dating has no desire or thought of a happily ever after with me.”
“Hey.
I’ve been honest with you from the start.”
“I know you have. I suppose this frustration is about me. I seem to want the one thing you can’t or don’t want to give.”
“You told me we didn’t have to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. You told me you weren’t looking to get married. You made it sound as though you were fine with dating. What’s going on?” I had no damn clue what she wanted. She was swinging on a pendulum.
“Something hit me like a sledgehammer when you told me you didn’t want to get married for ten years. At first, I thought it was you. You had no desire to be tied down, you liked your freedom, you wanted to establish your profession as a doctor. Then it dawned on me—it wasn’t you. You not wanting to be tied down for ten years really had to do with me.”