by T. L. Hayes
* * *
Steve took Lou home and walked her to her front door. On her doorstep they hugged for a long time, then Steve kissed her on the cheek and said. “You going to be okay tonight?”
“I think so. Thank you. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t need a drink right now. I won’t, but I feel like I need one. I think I’ll take a long bath instead and put some music on. I’ll be okay.” Lou managed a small smile for Steve’s benefit.
“If you want to talk more, just call me. I’ll stay up all night if you need me to.”
“You’re very sweet.” Lou placed a soft kiss on Steve’s lips, then lingered for a moment. When she stepped back, she asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to come in?”
Steve sighed, then gave her a small smile. “I very much do want to come in, but I won’t. Now’s not the time. But I promise, if you ask me that question on a happier day, I’ll say yes.”
“Steve Adams, you’re old-fashioned,” Lou said with delight.
“Maybe so. I don’t know any other way to be.”
“Well, I like it. Thank you.” Lou kissed her again.
Steve groaned. “I need to go. But I meant what I said—call me if you need to.”
“I will. Good night, Steve.”
“Good night, Lou.” Steve left the porch and walked to her car, then paused with her hand on the door handle and looked back. She smiled and waved, then got in her car. She waited until Lou unlocked her door and went inside before she pulled away.
Lou went inside, locking the door behind her, and went straight to her room. She kicked off her shoes next to the bed and took her glasses off and put them on the nightstand, then lay back on her pillows and put her hands on her stomach. Other than her mother, no one else knew about her father. She had never mentioned it to another girlfriend before—it had never really come up.
Telling Steve felt right. It brought them closer, and she wished she was with her now to curl up next to her, but Steve was probably right about that too. If she had her in bed next to her, it might lead to sex, and this just would not have been the right time for that. Books and movies often did that, put the vulnerable woman in a situation that ended in sex and made it seem like that was okay, but Lou always hated when they did that. It was an asshole move. She appreciated that Steve had enough sense to back away from that. She smiled now thinking of it.
She waited a few more minutes, when she figured Steve would be home and not driving, and sent a text. Thank you for listening to me. It means a lot to me that you’re not put off by any of this.
I’m not going anywhere.
Good.
Don’t forget, you have tougher trials than your childhood ahead of you…We are having dinner with my mother on Sunday, remember?
Haha. Yes, I remember. I’m not worried. Your mother loves me.
Yes, she does.
Good night again. I think I’m going to go have that soak now.
You have a good night too.
Lou put the phone on her nightstand, smiling now, and sat up. She quickly undressed, throwing her clothes into the corner, then picked her phone back up as she walked to the bathroom. She selected some music, then set the phone on the counter. As she was adjusting the faucets on the tub, Beth Hart started to sing “Learning to Live.” Another slow bluesy number was playing as she slid into the water. Lou settled in, letting the water and the music cover her like a soothing blanket, and closed her eyes and concentrated on the blues.
Chapter Twelve
On Sunday, Lou drove to Steve’s house, trying not to feel too nervous. It wasn’t as if she was meeting Mrs. Adams for the first time. This wasn’t even the first time today that they would be seeing each other, considering she had had a lesson with her that morning. But this was different and she knew it. She hadn’t met her as Steve’s mother before and she was worried about being assessed in this new way. Quite frankly, she worried about being good enough for Steve, even though she knew that was silly. She tried to get back the bravado and confidence she had displayed the night before in her text to Steve. After she pulled into Steve’s driveway, she took a deep breath and said to herself, “You got this,” then exited the Jeep.
Steve answered the door after she rang the bell and said a very simple “Hi” before she pulled her into a hug. Steve whispered in her ear, “You’ll be fine,” then gave her one last squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before standing aside and having her come in the house.
Lou noticed the boot tray by the door and just in general how neat everything was. She immediately felt the urge to go home and vacuum. But instead of fleeing the scene, she felt Steve’s hand in hers as they went into the kitchen where Lorraine was busy finishing up their meal. She turned when they came into the room and gave Lou a smile. Lou returned it. “Hello, Mrs. Adams.”
Lorraine used a cooking utensil for emphasis when she said, “Now, there won’t be any of that here. It’s bad enough I can’t get you to call me by my name during my lessons, but here it sounds like an Eddie Haskell routine, and I don’t won’t any part of it, you hear me? In this house you will call me Lorraine or maybe eventually Mom if it suits you. But I’m not Mrs. Adams here. You understand me?”
Lou relaxed and said, “I do. I’ll try my best.”
“Good. Stephanie, are you going to just stand there, or are you going to offer her a drink? Don’t act like I didn’t teach you manners.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Steve winked at Lou, who was biting her lip to keep from giggling. “Would you like a drink?”
“Sure. Water’s fine.”
Lorraine turned back around. “No, it’s not. If you’d rather have a beer, go ahead and say so. I’m going to have one. Though I promised Stephanie I wouldn’t get sloshed and embarrass her.” Lorraine winked at her daughter.
“Mother, you made me no such promise,” Steve said, as she pulled a beer out of the fridge and held it aloft for Lou, asking with a look if she’d prefer that instead. Lou nodded, and Steve handed it to her.
“I didn’t? Oh, good.”
“You did, however, promise not to embarrass me. I think that would qualify.”
“I don’t recall any such promise. I think you have me confused with someone else. Now set the table.”
Steve went to the cabinet to retrieve the plates and Lou went to her to offer her help, but Lorraine caught her. “Oh, no, you are a guest today—let us serve you. You’ll be a member of this family soon enough. Take advantage of the star treatment while you have it.”
Lou chuckled. “All right.” She took a seat and watched as Steve brought plates and silverware to the table. She caught her eye and smiled, and Steve put her hand on Lou’s shoulder and squeezed on her way by.
Lorraine set the pan of lasagna and a bowl of salad in the middle. “I hope you like Italian.”
“Mom never forgave Grandmother for being British and not Italian. Pasta is all she makes.”
“And I’m damn good at it too.”
“Yeah, but the carbs, Mom. A lot of extra gym time with every meal.”
“I see you’ve somehow managed.” Lorraine turned to Lou conspiratorially. “She looks good, doesn’t she?”
Lou tried not to choke on her words. Good thing she hadn’t taken a bite yet. She saw Steve’s cheeks redden. “She does.”
“I don’t know where she gets her drive from. Neither her father nor I was athletic to save our lives. We were porch sitting people from way back. They used to call it mellow back in the day. We were readers too. I still am, of course.”
“Me too, Lorraine, though I haven’t had much time to read lately.”
Lorraine smiled knowingly toward her daughter. “I’ll bet.”
“Mother!”
“We’re all adults here. And I wasn’t implying anything other than I know you two have been spending a lot of time together.”
Steve grinned sheepishly. “Like hell you weren’t.”
Lorraine turned to Lou again. “She has been treating you right, I assume?
Don’t be afraid to tell me if she hasn’t.”
Lou smiled across at Steve, then looked at Lorraine. “She has had perfect manners. Always courteous and respectful. And sometimes quite charming.”
Lorraine was obviously proud of her daughter. “Well, good, I’m glad the old lessons haven’t faded. That’s something she gets from her father, though. He was such a gentleman. Oh, that man. Always doing all the old-fashioned things, like holding doors and pulling out my chair. Letting me go ahead. And standing back grinning like a cat whenever I shot my mouth off about something. He used to say, Girl, I like your spunk, like he was Lou Grant, you remember? Oh, look at me, you’ve barely just arrived and I’m already getting sentimental.” She wiped the corners of her eyes, and Steve reached over and took her mother’s hand for a moment and they shared a smile.
“I think Mr. Adams would be very proud of his daughter.”
“Oh, and he was. He never understood why she joined the military, though. We were and have always been pacifists, but we wanted her to make her own decisions. He used to show anyone who asked after her her graduation photo. You know, the one with the full dress green uniform? I was so glad when she switched to dress blues. Olive drab was never a good color for anyone. Did you see the picture on the wall when you came in?” Lorraine asked Lou.
Smiling, Lou said, “No, I missed it.”
“Here, let me get it.” Lorraine pushed her chair out.
“Mother, sit down. You can show her later.”
“I might forget later. Eat your food, I’ll be right back.” She walked out to retrieve her quarry.
Steve looked over at Lou and shook her head with a smile. Lou suppressed her giggles.
Lorraine came back a moment later holding an eight-by-ten wooden frame and handed it to Lou. Lou wiped her mouth and put her fork down, then took the frame from her. She smiled at the image of a much younger Steve with collar-length blond hair, shining blue eyes, and a radiant smile, her new green dress uniform looking stiff and proper. She looked across at Steve and saw that she was trying not to blush or look anxious about her reaction. Finally, she said, “You were adorable.”
“Still is, isn’t she?”
“Very true.”
“That picture doesn’t show how scared I was. I shipped out to Bosnia shortly after graduation,” Steve said quietly.
“You haven’t told me about that yet.”
“I will, someday. I also went to Iraq part deux.” Steve gave her a small smile, then shifted her gaze. “Mom, put that away, would you? We’re still eating.”
“Yes, of course.” She took the picture from Lou and took it back to the living room. When she returned, she had a smile on her face. “So, Lou, I can’t say that I understand exactly what it is that you teach.”
“Oh, I thought I had told you. I teach stage combat mostly, but also stage direction and dramaturgy. In the spring, I get stuck with an undergrad intro class. My boss joked that it was paying my dues. Really, he just couldn’t rope anyone else into it.” Lou smiled.
“What was that word you said? It sounded like drama turd.”
“Gross, Mom!”
Lou almost choked on her food. She grabbed her napkin and held it to her mouth while she swallowed. She coughed slightly, then took a drink.
“What? It’s a perfectly legitimate question. Are you okay, dear?”
“I’m fine. Yes, it is a legit question. The word was dramaturgy, with a g.”
“And what is that, exactly?”
“A dramaturge can serve many functions in a theater, from research, to editing, to helping cast, as well as many other things the director might need them to do. They basically have to know about every aspect of the behind-the-scenes stuff because they could be called upon to help with any or all of it. It’s a fun thing to do, but a lot of responsibility.”
“Have you done it yourself?” Steve asked.
“A few times. I’ve always enjoyed it.”
“So, it’s kinda like a girl Friday?”
“Well, sort of, I guess.” Lou smiled at Lorraine.
“Sounds like a lot of fuss and bother to me, especially when you have to be at the beck and call of some temperamental director. Not for me, thanks. I’ll keep pushing books.”
“Mother, you make being a librarian sound like a drug dealer.”
“I’m just offering a different kind of high.” Lorraine leaned over to Lou in a conspiratorial manner and stage-whispered, “Hey, kid, wanna get something that’ll really make your mind drift away? Something that’ll make you forget about the world around you?” Lou giggled and Steve rolled her eyes.
“Well, when you put it that way, I guess I’m an addict then.” Lou laughed but noticed Steve suddenly got interested in her food and Lorraine’s smile faltered.
“Yes, well, I shouldn’t have made that kind of joke.” She glanced at Steve. “I’m sorry.”
Steve gave her a brief smile. “It’s okay. Book pusher.”
Lorraine visibly relaxed. “Well, who’s ready for dessert? I made lava cakes. Not very Italian, admittedly, but who doesn’t like molten hot chocolate?”
“That sounds wonderful.”
“Good. Stephanie, clear the table while I serve, would you?” Lorraine favored her daughter with a smile before she left the table.
“Sure.” Steve stood to do as her mother asked. When she reached for Lou’s plate, Lou took her free hand and squeezed, rubbing her thumb over the top. Steve reached down and kissed her on the forehead, then picked up her plate and took it to the sink.
Lou stayed maybe another hour after dessert was over, but then she had to get going, as it was a school night. “Thank you, Lorraine. I’m glad I got to know you in this way and I hope to have more dinners like this.”
“Oh, you can count on it. I have tons more pictures to show you, and a lifetime of embarrassing stories to tell. I don’t care what she says—it’s my right and duty.”
“Yes, it is. And you will always find me a willing audience.” She extended her hand. “See you next Saturday, as usual.”
“Put that away. You’re family now. Come here.” Lorraine opened her arms for a hug and Lou laughed and accepted the gesture.
“Okay, I really must go. Thanks again. Steve?”
“Yeah, I’ll walk you out. Mother will stay here and pretend not to watch out the window.” Steve put her hand on the small of Lou’s back as she ushered her to the door.
“No use pretending now, is there?” Lorraine smiled affectionately at Steve.
Steve just shook her head as she led Lou out to her car. Once outside and out of earshot, Lou leaned against her Jeep and Steve leaned in close to her and took both her hands in hers. “Sorry if that got intense sometimes. You held your own, though. My mother can be a lot to handle sometimes.”
“Maybe for you. I told you she loves me.” Lou gave her a cocky smile and it made Steve laugh. “I had a good time. I loved seeing your graduation photo. You were more than adorable, though.”
“Oh?”
Lou removed her hands from Steve’s and put them around her neck and Steve put her arms around Lou’s waist. “Yeah. Very sexy. Just something about a girl in uniform…”
Steve raised an eyebrow, then leaned in for a kiss.
“Steve?”
“Yes?”
“Anytime you want to talk about your service, I’ll listen. I hope you know that.”
“Yeah, I do. I’ll tell you all my secrets, in time. I’m in no rush.”
“Me neither. Okay, soldier, you better go help your CO do the dishes before you get court-martialed.”
“How bad can it be? I already have KP duty. I’ll text you later.” Steve gave her one more kiss, a quick one this time, then reluctantly released her.
Lou squeezed her hand before letting go entirely, then got into her vehicle. She waved as she drove away.
* * *
When Steve went back inside, she found her mother in the kitchen, working on the dishes. “You started
without me.” She grabbed a dish towel out of a drawer and began her part of the job.
“Well, I wasn’t going to wait forever,” her mom said jovially.
“No, no, of course not.”
They washed and dried in silence for a minute, then her mother said matter-of-factly, “You haven’t told her about Cairyn yet.”
“Not yet.”
“Didn’t think so. You plan to?”
“Yeah, I just gotta figure out how.”
“I think she’ll understand. I like her, Stephanie. I’m glad you’re dating her.”
Steve smiled. “Yeah. I like her too.”
“I should hope so, after kissing her like that in the driveway.”
“I knew you were watching.” Steve pointed an accusatory finger at her.
“Of course I was. Had to make sure you didn’t make a damn fool of yourself.”
Steve threw back her head and laughed.
* * *
Steve’s cell rang at four something in the morning. Groggily, she answered, without checking the caller ID. “Hello?”
“Sgt. Adams?”
Steve recognized the gruff voice instantly and sat up, her mind quickly clearing. “First Sgt. Richards.”
“Sorry to wake you, but I just took an emergency call from the Red Cross.”
Panicking, Steve threw off her covers and put her feet on the floor. “Is it my mother? Is she okay?” Ever since the death of her father the year before, she’d been worried about how her mother was getting on. She wished she could be there to help her through her grief, but duty called. Duty always called.
“Your mother is the one who contacted the Red Cross, actually. This was concerning someone named Cairyn.”
“Cairyn? What’s wrong? What happened to Cairyn?” Picturing car crashes and other accidental calamities, Steve wasn’t prepared for what came next, though she should have been.
The man whose job it was to be a hard-ass suddenly sounded reluctant to deliver the rest of the news he had called for. “Well, it seems…according to your mother, Ms. Williams passed away earlier today. Funeral services are being arranged. As soon as that’s settled, we’ll get you home.”