“Could you give us a few minutes? Please?”
The last word came out as an afterthought. No use pissing him off if he really turned out to be the Alpha Prime. They’d all have to obey him all the time. She shuddered at the thought.
“Sure.” He nodded to her. “I’ll be in the hall waiting for you to tell me where the children stolen from my pack are.”
“Can you do what he said?” Cyrus’ mouth fell open.
“I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure this all out.”
“My sister is the Healer Prime.”
“Right. It’s weird.” She looked down. How was she supposed to know how to manage when she had yet to process any of it herself? Talk about learning on her feet. It wasn’t as if there was anyone around to tell her how to do the job. When had there been another Healer Prime? How many generations?
“Cyrus,” she continued, “I made a deal with Aaron. I wanted to get out, get free so I could save the children. It basically tied me to him. All the mess happening since has been my fault.”
“I think this has all been an impossible situation, and, as you are now Beaux’s problem, I’m going to let him figure out the best way to get it through your thick skull you don’t make deals with True Believers. Ever. No matter the circumstances.”
Easy for him to say; he hadn’t been held for months and months. Fighting with Cyrus didn’t fit into her agenda right then, so she moved on. “Speaking of Beaux….”
“Oh, Lake.” His face fell. “I’ve never seen a man so devastated. He was incoherent. Your death—so weird saying those words to you—wrecked me. It destroyed him. If I ever needed proof of how bad it would be if Betsy died….” His voice trailed off, and she tried to swallow past the lump in her throat.
“It wasn’t supposed to be that way. He lost his first mate. I didn’t want pain for him again. I held off our mating, we never completed it, so he wouldn’t have to suffer.”
“Oh, Lake, you stupid idiot.”
“Hey.” Nothing like her big brother to drag her immediately from sad to angry in under two seconds flat.
“I’m serious. You think it’s the sex brings on the mating? For the males, it’s the first second we scent our other half. The feeling of needing our mate, loving them, craving them, protecting them. For you, it’s different. You need to run and be caught. All part of the dance. He never got to catch you? I bet the loss eats at him as much as the unrelenting grief he’s drowning in. The poor guy went back to Montana changed. Beaux may never be the same. Not even with you back.”
Like hell. If she’d screwed up again, she would fix it. “Give me your phone.”
In typical Cyrus fashion, he ignored her demand for the phone. “Why didn’t you come to me to talk about this?”
“Because I’m not really comfortable talking about personal things with you. You’re not only my brother. You’re a really strong Alpha. It makes things complicated.”
He raised one eyebrow in the annoying way only Cyrus could.
“Then it just goes to show I’m not your Alpha. Pack members love to tell me their problems, Lake. I think you’ve been waiting for your true Alpha this whole time.”
She pointed to the pocket where he kept his phone. “Phone. Please.”
He pulled it out. “I have Beaux stored in the contacts. Tell Montana-boy he can always count on me to perform miracles. He missed his mate; I had her brought back from the grave.”
She rolled her eyes and hit Beaux’s name, or rather the word Montana, on Cyrus’ cellular contacts. Back in the day, when she had been her brother’s personal assistant, he had been more organized.
The phone rang once, and then a woman picked up. It took her half a second to recognize Cara’s voice. Two more seconds for her to know the other woman was in perfect heath except for being stressed and sad.
“Cara?”
A gasp on the other end told Lake her voice had been recognized. “It can’t be.”
“It is. I know this is startling. I guess I’ve come back from the dead. Some kind of Healer Prime thing. Rebirth. A perk in an otherwise boring life.” She knew she was babbling. Why was she nervous? She needed Beaux, and Cara had his phone. He must be around somewhere close.
“Is my…Is Beaux there?”
What if he didn’t want to speak to her? Cyrus had said he’d been destroyed. What if he could never forgive her?
“No.” Cara cleared her throat. “He left.”
Her head itched, and she tried to tune her senses to Beaux. He was her mate; it should be easy, only it didn’t seem to be. She could sense him, remotely. He seemed okay, physically, yet he always gave the impression of being muddled. What did it all mean? She’d heard him screaming in her head.
“Where did he go and why didn’t he bring his phone with him?”
“He went to live as a wolf the rest of his life. He shifted and left all his human possessions here. We’re not sure what to do, Lake. How should we handle this? If the other packs get word we’re Alphaless….”
She interrupted. “You’re not Alphaless.” Cyrus would have heard this entire exchange, and if he repeated one iota of a word she’d kick him. Hard. “I’ll get him. Where did he go?”
“There’s the thing, we don’t know. The dominant males would have gone to get him, and we can’t pick up his scent anywhere. I don’t think he’s in Montana anywhere. If he’s moved into some other pack’s territory or the wrong lone wolves….”
Lake didn’t need Cara to finish her thought. If Beaux went into someone else’s land and got caught, especially in his wolf form, he’d be killed. She knew it, and what was more there was no possibility Beaux didn’t understand the facts himself.
He’d know the rules better than anyone.
And his grasp of the situation meant he’d wandered away from safety on purpose. Beaux wanted to be caught.
She hung up the phone. Cara would either understand or Lake would apologize later. “Cyrus. I need two things from you.”
“My plane.” Her brother understood so well. “Do you want me to come with you? I could hold Cyrus’ pack for him until he gets back.”
The image of her brother trying to lead the Montana pack almost brought a smile to her lips. If only their situation didn’t appear to be turning into a special kind of hell.
“No, thank you.”
“What’s the second thing you need?”
“I need to see Jensen.”
Since she never intended to return to New York, at least not for more than an occasional visit, there was one wolf she needed to see, someone she owed an apology to in a major way. There could be no forgiveness for what she’d done; however, that didn’t meant she wouldn’t give the apology she long owed a man whose life she had ruined.
She had been reborn, and it was time to take on her new life.
****
Jensen had aged ten years since the last time she saw him. Not literally, of course. It had been less than a year since she had seen him. His true mate, Kyra, had died because Lake couldn’t save her. She’d been drunk, something she now understood she never should be. The thought of alcohol made her mouth feel sour. She doubted she would ever be able to taste the substance again, even if she wanted to, which she really, really didn’t.
Jensen’s pain radiated off him. Before, she’d only been tuned into the physical ailments, and it took her a minute to orient herself to his emotional turmoil. She couldn’t fix what hurt him now. Not ever. It seemed somehow appropriate she should feel as he did.
Kyra had been her friend, her pack mate. Lake had failed them all horribly.
“Jensen.”
He turned around. She knew he would have smelled her before now, and he hadn’t greeted her when she entered. They’d once been friendly, but those days were long over.
“Lake. I can’t believe you’re alive.”
“Rumors of my death were unfortunately quite true.”
“And yet here you are. Walking around. How is it possible?”
“I’m Healer Prime.”
She stepped toward him. Gray dotted his temples where only brown hair had been mere months before. Jensen was tall, broad shouldered, and had been one of her brother’s most ardent supporters for years. He deserved better than what had happened. He and Kyra should have been able to grow old together, watch their children go off and have a lives.
His eyes widened. “Well, that’s really something. I thought Healer Primes were the stuff of legends.”
“Me too. Or at least whoever she was had nothing to do with me.”
She steeled herself. This was hard and it should be.
“Jensen, Kyra’s death, it haunts me each day. I can’t make it right. I won’t pretend I can. The only thing I can do is apologize, and my words will never be enough. Still, I have to say it anyway.”
Jensen blinked rapidly. “Do you think I blame you for Kyra’s death?”
“Yes. It’s my fault. If you’re not blaming me, you should be.”
“The last I checked, the True Believers attacked you girls in the bar. They killed her, not you.”
“We both know if I hadn’t been drinking—which I was only doing because I decided to get bratty about Cyrus’ news and show off in front of his new mate—Kyra would have lived through the attack. I’d have saved her.”
A muscle ticked in Jensen’s jaw. “Lake, I’ve been furious with you for almost a year and not because I blame you for killing Kyra. Even if I did, which I don’t, my late love would have torn my head from my shoulders if she thought I looked at you as the guilty party here.”
“I don’t understand.”
“The only thing I blame you for is not knowing you shouldn’t be drinking. In my better moments, I don’t really hold you responsible for partying either.” Jensen shook his head. “I dwell pretty far in the dark places these days. Only my kids keep me from falling all the way in.”
“I am to blame for drinking. I take total responsibility.”
“See, I’m not sure you can take it on yourself. At what point as werewolves did we decide not to hold onto the kind of knowledge which would have told us to not let you drink? Do I think you should have known? Sure. Do I blame you for not knowing? No. How could I? No one told the people who taught you. How many wolves have died because Healers have imbibed? I have no idea. Kyra will never come back from the grave.” His voice wavered. “If you want to make this the slightest bit better, make sure it can never happen again. Make sure the other Healers know better than you did.”
She could. “I will.”
“I hear Montana is beautiful. Big sky and all.”
She smiled. Maybe things might someday be all right.
****
The wind whipped at her face, and she trudged forward. Her wolf stirred inside of her wanting to go sniff out her mate. Lake would do anything for a Full moon so she could shift. Her werewolf powers were back online, and yet in her human body she would always be limited. Healer Prime-ness made no difference when it came to her current situation.
Beaux still lived. His heart beat. His body took in air and let out carbon dioxide. Other than those facts, she couldn’t get a reading on him at all except the general impression she had finally gotten close to him. The how and why she knew he happened to be nearby still eluded her.
First it had been an image. A group of generic looking woods she couldn’t identify. Then she’d seen the red-roofed cabin with a sign hanging off the side, which had said Free Soda Pop on it. Google Maps had helped after that.
If she had these talents because Healer Primes had to be able to find their patients, then how had the poor women functioned before there was an Internet?
She walked forward, her fists clenched at her side. Beaux was here. She would find him. One way or another. He’d travelled over the border to Wyoming. Wolves didn’t care about human boundaries except in as much as they made determining pack borders much simpler.
The other truth about where he had run to involved the lone wolf population which owned the area. They weren’t a pack, and they fought ruthlessly to each hold onto their small parcels of existence. If Beaux had or did run into anyone, they would fight. Someone would die.
Lake didn’t know how long she walked. When she started, the sun was high in the sky and, when she checked again, mid-day had fallen.
She put her hands on her hips and examined her surroundings. One tree looked like another. The scents were all blending together, and the only good news seemed to be she hadn’t run into any of the lone wolves yet.
“He’s a werewolf.” She spoke aloud to confirm her thoughts. “Beaux is not an ordinary one either. He’s an Alpha. He has heightened senses. It’s a risk and I have to take it.” She took a deep breath.
“Beaux.” She shouted and waited. He had to be able to hear her, unless he had gotten miles and miles ahead of her. By the love of the Moon, something had to go in her favor for a change.
“You know what? Screw this.” Every animal within a five mile radius should be hearing her now. “Not only can you hear me, but, if you’re running around as a werewolf, you can smell me too. So come on Beaux. I’m here. I’m your mate, and I am demanding your moon-be-damned presence.”
She took a deep breath. If she had to, she’d keep it up all day. Yelling happened to be something she was good at.
A rustling behind her told her maybe she wouldn’t have to. Beaux’s scent wafted over her, and she whirled around. Her mate stepped out of the brush, in his human form instead of as a wolf, which was what she expected. Bonus for her, since she apparently wouldn’t have to convince him to shift.
He’d only recently made the change back to humanity. He had the glazed unfocused look in his eyes that said his brain still needed to process what he saw.
Her internal health meter buzzed. Beaux was in bad shape. She wouldn’t have needed her powers to know his state. A week’s worth of beard covered his face, also unusual. Staying in his wolf form should have preserved him as he looked when he shifted to begin with. Who knew what grief did to the way things should have been?
Dark circles marred the skin under his eyes. He shifted, and he hadn’t been sleeping.
“Hi there.” She stepped forward. “I see you can hear me.”
“What treachery is this?” His voice hitched. “Some kind of last joke on the poor stupid werewolf?”
“Beaux….”
“I watched you die.” The anger in his voice combined with the acrid scent of pain coming of him made her wince. “So what is this? Some kind of torment, have I at last lost my mind?”
“I did die.”
She walked toward him. His eyes were wild, and, if it were anyone other than Beaux, she’d worry for her safety. Even if he didn’t understand, he wouldn’t harm her.
“Am I dead then? Did I miss my ending?” He put his hands on her shoulders. “Are you here to greet me at the gates of whatever this is?”
“Wyoming. I’m afraid it’s not the afterlife. Not yet anyway “She took her hands in his. “I’m here. I was dead, and now I’m not.”
“How is it possible? Werewolves don’t come back from the dead.” She could see the confusion in his eyes. In her imaginings of this moment, Beaux had grabbed her, kissed her, and made love to her against a tree.
“They do if they’re reborn.”
He shook his head. “If they’re what?”
“Reborn. Its apparently part of the process when one becomes the Healer Prime. I died and was reborn a changed wolf.” She tried to laugh, and it sounded phony, probably because it actually was. “Neither you nor I paid attention to one random line in your book of information.”
“Wait.” He squeezed her shoulders tighter. “Are you telling me you died and were reborn the Healer Prime? The dying part simply happens when you’re selected for the job?”
“Exactly.”
“Son of a bitch.” He let go of her and walked a distance away. As she watched, he slammed his fist into a tree so hard several of the branches above
his head shook. For a full minute, he slammed his hand over and over into the pine.
She felt each blow he made in her bones. He wouldn’t know she’d gotten so sensitive, and she had no intention of stopping him until he’d gotten it out of his system.
Finally, he stopped and laid his forehead against the same tree he’d abused. “Tell me something, Lake.”
“Sure.” She rubbed her knuckles. They stung. With a jolt of energy, she sent healing to Beaux. His hand would quickly heal.
“Did you wake up under ground?” His voice cracked.
“What?”
She rushed to him and hugged him around his waist. He smelled like home and she never, ever wanted to let go.
“No. Alexei didn’t let them do the ceremony. He sat with me and was there when I woke up to sort of explain it, in a really frustrating way.”
His back tensed, and she pressed her head into the back of his shirt.
“Alexei? How the fuck did he know about it and why didn’t he explain it to me?”
“From what I gather, by the time Alexei got there, you were gone. And you know what he’s like.”
“I’m going to kill him.”
“Maybe you could kiss me. And think about killing Alexei later.”
Chapter Sixteen
His mouth came down on hers, and it was then he really believed she’d returned to him. Her heartbeat against him, and, despite the impossible, she lived.
Beaux’s body hardened. She’d been dead, and he’d never claimed her. With this second chance, the last thing he wanted to do was waste any time. Yet, he wouldn’t take her for the first time against a tree.
“Beaux?”
She pulled back to look at him, her mouth already swollen. With her hair blowing in the wind, and her eyes alive with passion, she’d never looked more beautiful.
“One mile from here, there’s an old abandoned cabin.”
“Yes. That’s how I found you.”
He hadn’t considered the how element to her appearance in his woods.
“Explain?”
She waved her hand. “I’ll explain it later. Look, the cabin looks like a death trap. Five miles from here, there’s a motel. Shift, I’ll get on your back, we’ll be there in no time.”
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