by S M Matthews
I try not to stare at the picture, but it makes me a bit emotional just thinking about it, and the thought of anything happening to them suddenly upsets me. All three of my guys are looking at me, and the other three are all staring at Poppy. I know they can smell how I’m feeling, and they all look tense, I make a concerted effort to relax, and take a deep breath and give each of them a nod so they know I’m fine.
I guide Poppy to a chair, and one of her guys brings her a drink. She won’t take it from him. It’s uncomfortable for a moment, and then his ears droop and he puts it on the table near to her and backs away. I think I know what’s happening here, and I feel for all of them.
She eventually takes the drink and sips at it, and all her guys have settled in various chairs, watching her.
I know I’ve got to do something here; they cannot go on like this. “Right, everybody out.” My guys move toward the door with no hesitation and honestly it scores massive points for them, but Poppy’s guys don’t move.
Pate addresses them from the door, “Commanders, let them speak privately. They have both been through much.” I hear Pate’s growl, then I hear his voice in English, and then I hear the monotone computer say it again. Ah, I recognise this. Poppy doesn’t show if she’s understood or not. They slowly and reluctantly rise, Abner looks back at me from the doorway, and it’s a heavy look. I know he’s on board, and we nod to each other. I smile to myself, I’m pretty sure I can trust Abner for this stuff.
I don't even know where to start with this. “Poppy? Where are you from?”
She snorts derisively, and all that despair wells up again “What does it matter now? I’m never getting back there.” As I understand it, she’s not wrong. I’m going to have to take the bull by the horns. But gently. I sigh, and throw myself into the chair opposite.
“Look, you're right. Neither of us is going back to Earth. Honestly though, even if I had the chance now I wouldn’t. I’m seeing space, I just learnt to do a course correction on an honest to goodness spaceship and a giant ant is making me a pair of trousers. I’m not giving this up.” She does smile a bit at my ant comment but then looks sad again.
“My parents...I can’t even think about what they must be going though. My brother...” she trails off and the tears start again, she wipes at them helplessly with her sleeve. I can’t even begin to imagine what this girl is going though. I can think of someone who can though.
“Your guys lost their mate, did you know?” She shakes her head. “Have you spoken to them yet?”
She shakes her head again. “When I first woke up, I thought I’d gone mad. Like really well and truly lost it. I haven't tried to speak to anyone. They brought me here, gave me a room. Fed me, clothed me, I don’t know why they are doing this. They showed me the gardens, it’s sort of the only thing that’s kept me going, they let me work there every day. Then yesterday, the computer spoke to me. I just thought it was like a disembodied voice at first and I thought I had had gone mad all over again. I just couldn’t bring myself to answer because...that would be it. I’d be accepting that I’d lost my mind if I spoke back to the voice. So I ran for it, once I’d calmed down a bit I realised it was one of them and the computer was translating, but I was terrified.”
“Sorry, that’s our fault, my guys learned my language and sent the file over, hoping it would help your guys.”
“Why do you keep saying that? They are not my guys! They’re aliens!” Poppy’s voice had gone up a few octaves, she’s getting angry. I prefer the anger to her crying.
I suddenly find myself reluctant to talk about this, one of the reasons I think I fell in with my guys so easily was that there were no other humans. I’m doing their normal. No one’s judging.
But now there is someone, and although I desperately want to be friends with this girl, I decide I’m going to have to rip the plaster off of this quickly, and if she’s a judgey bitch then so be it. If I have to make a choice, I choose my guys.
“My guys are my guys. We’re together.”
She just stares at me for a moment, then her brows pull together “What? Together? As in…you're with them…Oh.” she says, and then she blushes fiercely and says “OHHH!” her eyes going wide.
I nod. There’s not a lot else to say really.
“The girls are the white ones, aren't they?” I nod again, and she turns to look at the picture that caught my eye earlier. “She was their…whatever, yeah?”
“Yeah, there was a daughter too.”
“Oh. That’s...really sad.” Poppy’s frowning into her drink. “I’ve seen a few of them around, the white ones, they always have three of the...men with them. And they all look the same, the threes?”
She looks over at me, “I think you’ve covered the important bits yeah.” She’s obviously been picking up some information then.
“Look, only you know what you’ve been through and how hard this is, but they’ve taken you in. Looked after you,” her mouth opens, and if you could look up ‘petulant teenager’ in the dictionary, this would be it, and I know exactly what’s coming next so I cut her off. “I know! I know you didn’t ask for any of this, I know you wouldn’t choose it, I know you don’t even want it, but honestly you’ve got two choices here, mope forever...or try and have a life.”
She looks, like, really looks at me. Maybe this is actually getting somewhere. She falls back into the chair totally deflated, and I think I recognise what she’s going through. I just think I went through it a hell of a lot faster.
“Do you know what I hate the most about this place?”
“What?” I ask her.
“All the doors are automatic. You can’t do something as simple as slam a fucking door.”
I can’t help but laugh at that, I think this is the real her, under all the distress and confusion. I mimic her and settle back into my chair.
“I could really use a drink.”
“Oh!” She gets up and heads to the kitchen area, and I follow, she has to climb onto the work surface to get to the top cupboards and rummages in one, but she produces an unlabelled bottle of dark liquid and some glasses. “I see them drink this before bed sometimes, want to give it a go?”
I nod and she pours a little into each glass, we go to drink and then both stop at the same moment. We clink glasses, forming some sort of unspoken camaraderie, and both down our drinks. We are instantly coughing and spluttering, it’s bitter and horrible, but warming and definitely alcoholic. Once we settle, she pours another two glasses without asking me and we down those, too.
We head back to the chairs and sip at our third drinks, all pretence of decorum has gone out of the window now and she’s half-filled both glasses. I’m already feeling warmer as it works its way into my system.
We sit quiet for a time, and then the questions start to come. First the little I know about her guys, and then what I’m willing to tell her about mine. She talks about her family and her college course, she wanted to be a professional gardener, and I think her name being Poppy is hilarious. She rolls her eyes at me “Like I’ve never heard that one before.”
As the alcohol kicks in we both get braver and sillier, and I wait for her to take a big sip before I say “They’ve got two cocks.” She sprays her mouthful of drink across the table, coughing and laughing, and turning beetroot red all at once, I can’t help but cackle at her.
Poppy breaks out some weird snacks, and I tell her “I got upset about maybe never seeing a tree again.”
“You’re going to stay for a while though?” I start to say yes, and then I realise I don’t actually know what the plan is.
“Well, I’ve ordered some things and I know the guys need to do some trading and stuff while we are here, so I think so.”
“So come round tomorrow and I will take you to work with me, you can see all the weird shit they grow.”
By the time the guys get back the bottle’s dry. Poppy’s on the coffee table, and the girl has got one hell of a set of pipes on her. I’m doing the s
tomp stomp clap by thumping the coffee table, and she’s busting out ‘We Will Rock You’ at the top of her lungs.
They all walk in just in time for Poppy to point at them and we both sing the chorus, loudly. I’m sure my guys note the alcohol smell and Pate doesn’t hesitate. I’m scooped up off the floor and carried unceremoniously away. I’m hitting at Pate’s chest as he lifts me, “Come on this isn’t fair, we were having fun!”
I see Poppy wobble off the coffee table and one of her guys catches her neatly, “Someone’s getting lucky!” I shout as the doors slide shut behind us.
“Maisy, are you drunk?” Tark asks me, keeping pace with Pate, he sounds utterly scandalised.
“I might be a little,” I hold up my finger and thumb an inch apart to illustrate, “only had a few drinks though.” Even I can hear that I’m slurring.
When we get back to the apartment, Pate carries me through to the bathroom and sits me on the side. He provides me toothbrush and toothpaste, and I watch Abner over Pate’s shoulder. Abner’s stripped off and gotten under the shower, and I am leaning around Pate to perve on him. Pate eventually takes the brush and replaces it with a glass of water, and I dutifully rinse and spit into the sink next to me. He strips off in front of me, and after watching Abner and now seeing Pate my drunken libido is roaring for some action. Pate strips me like I’m a child and carries me into the shower which Abner’s just vacated, and then scrubs us both. As we are leaving Tark comes in and strips off for his turn, and I gravitate toward him.
“Oh no you don’t.” Pate picks me up again, “You’re going to bed.”
“As long as someone’s keeping me company.” I waggle my eyebrows at him, but this is Pate and I get no reaction at all.
He’s carrying me through to one of the bedrooms, and Abner comes in with a large glass of water and makes me drink some of it before settling me into bed and climbing in next to me. The moment I lay down my stomach sloshed and the room span so I sat against the headboard, Pate hands me the water again and sits next to me. Tark comes in from his shower, and stands and looks at the three of us.
“What?” I smile at him and he shakes his mane.
“It’s...just nice, seeing you three like this.” He climbs in on the other side of Abner.
“Will you stay with us, Pate?”
He doesn’t answer, just dims the lights and settles more next to me against the headboard. Soon I hear Abner and Tark’s snoring, and Pate takes the glass from me when I’ve sipped the last of the water. I snuggle into Pate and sleep.
ABNER
Tark and I had both woken within moments of each other, both experiencing the same panic that had come with smelling our mates blood.
She’d woken up absolutely mortified that she’d gotten this period bleeding thing that she’d told us about.
Pate had left us at some point in the night, and as we had entered the communal area he had stood, all his fur standing on end and a thundering growl filling the room. Maisy had been fast to realise what was happening and explained to Pate that it was okay. And then she’d become unusually shy as she had to recount human breeding cycles again. Having to speak of it seems to be a source of discomfort for her.
It’s disconcerting, and a bit upsetting...we can all smell it clearly, and part of my brain is continually screaming at me that my mate is injured and there is a threat to deal with.
It has put the three of us on edge, but other than being embarrassed and complaining of a bit of backache, Maisy seems unaffected.
Pate had unceremoniously followed Maisy into the shower and insisted on checking every inch of her for injury.
While she was in the shower Tark raided medical for supplies for her.
She was pleased to note there was no sign of a ‘hangover’ as she called it from drinking. After taking some pain relief and having a very late breakfast, we’d gone on our way to hydroponics.
Pate intends to go and deal with the ship, the usual trade and resupply, while Tark goes and collects Maisy’s clothes order.
“So what did the commanders have to say last night?” She asks as we make our way through the station.
“They seem to see her as a kit,” Maisy raises her eyebrow at me “Yeah, I don’t believe it either. They could only describe Poppy as lost, and vulnerable, and how unfair it all was on her, but for all that they were very interested in us. They were too polite to outright ask but Micka commented on how close we seemed to be, and Acer made a comment about human biology not being a very long walk from our own….I did get the impression they would move the universe for her if they could.”
Maisy snorts. “Well, they might know everything now depending on what Poppy has told them. If that’s how they see her then...” Maisy shrugs, “interesting they were asking though. You think they were just being nosey?”
“No, I don’t think so, they don’t strike me as the sort. And Pate maintains they are respectful males.”
She shrugs again, “maybe I’m just being selfish? Not wanting to be the only one, you know? It’s nice having another girl to talk to though.”
I understand that, it must be lonely in some ways.
We approach the large doors to hydroponics and they slide open. I have seen this once before, and it is incredible. The station grows all of its own fresh fruit and vegetables, and it helps them to oxygenate the station. Some of the things here have been found to actually grow better in the artificially maintained conditions on the station. I ask a passing gardener and am directed to the area Poppy is working and we make our way across to her. Poppy immediately rises from what she’s doing to hug Maisy, and I leave them to it.
MAISY
This place is amazing. Poppy gives me a bit of a tour. There are huge beds of plants, fully matured trees dotted around. Some of the plants are grown in pockets on hanging beds, and some grow from hanging baskets, some are in layers and layers of artificially lit trays, with their roots hanging into more shallow trays of flowing water. It’s amazing, and it’s incredible how they have utilised every possible space. Some areas are sectioned off, and the air inside is dry and hot, and in others there's a persistent mist falling from sprinklers in the ceiling.
Poppy seems right at home in amongst all of it.
PATE
I’ve spent some time moving stock and going through the ship’s records of orders. I’ve made a list of what I’d like to get to restock the ship, and I have come to sit on deck for a moment to message customers, informing them of our arrival and providing appropriate times for them to come and retrieve their goods.
We have received a long-range message, and I find myself sitting and staring at it for a long time before I decide I must open it.
It’s from mother.
MAISY
I know something up; they’ve been talking amongst themselves and not talking to me. They’ve closed ranks on me. I am not at all sure how I feel about this, they were a family unit for a long time before I came along, so I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that something like this has happened. It still stings though. Conversation’s been going on as normal, but all three of them are distracted, and every time I ask what’s going on, they all say ‘nothing’ or ‘everything's fine’.
My new clothes arrived, and I’m pretty happy with everything, it’s pretty much joggers and tee shirts and jumpers, but it’s simple and comfortable and actually fits me. Poppy almost squeals when she sees what I’m wearing, but as I explain where I got it from, she looks sad. All she ever seems to wear is differently adjusted uniforms.
“I don’t want to ask them for things.” She says, very bluntly.
“You work, don’t they pay you?”
She shakes her head, “Everyone who works here studied for years to be here, they understand everything about how hydroponics works and all the stuff that grows here. I’m basically a volunteer, looking for a hobby.”
That doesn’t seem necessarily fair to me, but Poppy knows more about it than I do.
“I’ve trie
d to really think about what you said...and you’re right, it doesn’t matter what I want, they have seriously gone out of their way for me. I’m the alien here, they could have left me to die, or left me to be sold, I don’t know which would be worse...but they didn’t. They’ve been really, really nice to me. I was angry, you know, I didn’t want their pity and every little thing they tried to do for me just made me feel even more crazy and pathetic.” She’s absent-mindedly working her way through a bed of plants, feeling around the bases of the fat stalks and sometimes coming away with little plants, some she replants carefully, and some she discards.
“I don’t know how to make it right really. And now we are talking, and we’re getting along a bit better...”
She trails off and I nudge her, and she sighs, “I think they see me like a pet, or a kid, something to be looked after.”
Huh. Maybe they were being straight with Abner.
“It’s weird though, now they can get near me they take every chance they can to sniff me. I got up to get a drink last night and they were sniffing my dirty uniform. That’s weird right? They tried to hide it as soon the door opened, but I saw enough.”
And then maybe they weren't after all.
“They tell everything by smell, it’s amazing what they can pick up on. In the middle of the afternoon they can still smell what you ate for breakfast, they know how you're feeling. If all you’ve been is scared and depressed then...maybe you’re bringing the instinct out in them. They were fathers, for a little while.”