“Hey, I didn’t think this was happening until this weekend?” I asked as I approached the porch.
“Yeah, we couldn’t wait, and all I have is time now since school is done and I don’t begin working until after my honeymoon. Come in. Let’s have breakfast, and then I want to talk to you about a few things regarding the house.”
I waved to Harry and then followed my sister inside.
“Okay, little sis, we have to make some decisions regarding the house. I know a while back you said you didn’t want it and we should sell it. I believe you said that because you were in a state of shock over what happened at the cemetery and all that followed with Ben. So, I’m going to ask you again: Do you really want me to sell this house? Because I can do that if I know it’s really what you want. I’ve moved on from this house, and after today, I will be moved in officially with Harry. And then there’s the matter of mom’s room and her things.”
“What about mom’s room?”
“Hallie, it’s time, and I know you can’t bring yourself to be in there without crying, so I did it for you. Everything that mattered to mom and to us is packed. The rest is just clothes, shoes, and things that I’m sure others can benefit from. The women’s shelter out in Raleigh is picking up the boxes this afternoon.”
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hug my sister or hit her really hard. This take-control attitude all the time can be really exhausting sometimes. I let out a breath, and then I kind of snapped with airing my secret thoughts aloud.
“Leah, take a freaking breath and slow your roll for one damn minute. Yes, I know I had a mini-breakdown the last time I was up there, but I had a valid reason to why that happened. Secondly, I know you’re trying to help and be proactive in every area of my life, but I’m not that helpless.”
“Come on, I would never think of you in that way. I’m trying to make things easier for you, and if you haven’t figured it out by now, this is the only way I know how to be.”
I looked around our big family home and felt really small standing in the middle of it all. The walls were bare, and the remaining furniture was covered with white sheets. This was really happening, and then Leah began talking again when I finally blurted out, “I’m keeping the house, and I’m going to move out of the dorm and live here with Ben.”
“Wow! So, let’s go upstairs and clean up your room. I’m sure you have clothes that you want to donate. My goodness, it’s been forever since we did a closet clean-out for you. Harry!” she shouted and told him that she would be upstairs with me.
“Leah, did you fully process what I just said?” I asked as she started to sort my clothes. I placed my hand over hers and then turned her around to look at me.
Her eyes were layered in tears, and she said, “Oh my word, Hallie, I’m getting married, and you’re moving in with Ben. When did we suddenly grow up and become adults making real-life decisions?” She hugged me close and cried happy tears.
“Does this mean you’re on board with me leaving the dorm and moving in here with Ben?”
“No, of course not! But I’m not going to stop you either. This is your home, and if you want to live here with Ben, it’s fine. Just know that I will be close and keeping an eye on you two. Hallie, you are so young, and Ben is older and almost finished with school. You have three years to go, and that’s not including graduate school if you choose to do that. This is a big decision, and a few months ago, you didn’t believe you and Ben were going to make it, and now you’re ready to move in with him.”
“I know, and you’re absolutely right on all counts. However, even stating the obvious is not going to change my mind on this. We love each other, and we are as real as you and Harry are. Age doesn’t matter when it comes to the feelings we share.”
“What about his father? How does he feel about Ben and his moving plans?”
“It’s not up to him, at least not anymore. Ben is refusing to talk to him, and no matter what I say to him about it, he’s pretty firm on it. He’s got a plan, and you know his job is already lined up, so this is me not worrying about it.”
“Wow! Hallie, when did you become so smart? I mean, you are poised and carry yourself in such a graceful manner that most adults should take some cues from you, and that includes me.”
“Now, you’re just being silly, because where do you think I learned all this adult stuff? And how to stand on my own?”
“I don’t know. Who?”
“Mom played a big part on the woman I became, but big sis, you’ve done the really hard part for the past few years, and I’m so thankful for all you have done. You never left my side, gave me space when I asked, and stayed close when I needed you. Our family went from four to two, and now back to four with Harry and Ben. Our guys love us and will take care of us every day of their lives. We’re not alone anymore.”
“No, we’re not. Does Ben know how lucky he is to have found you?”
“Does Harry know?”
“Yeah, you better believe it.”
“Good, because Ben does too. And I would hate to have to beat up my new brother-in-law.”
We both laughed and then got working on my room. I couldn’t wait to call Ben.
25
Freedom never felt so good
Ben…
“So, how does it feel to be a college graduate?” asked Leah, who was helping me with my tie. I hate these bloody things, but I promised Hallie I would wear one. She said I looked dashing, and of course, I couldn’t say no after a wonderful compliment like that.
“Okay, you look great. Hallie is going to meet us there with Harry.” She paused, and I knew she had something weighing on her mind.
After Hallie told me that we had Leah’s blessing to move in together, the surprise that followed was that we were moving into her family home. It wasn’t a big deal for me, per se, because I was done with school and it was closer to my work, but this was now a commute for Hallie. She said she didn’t mind, because we would be together, and all her classes were pretty much together with no huge gaps in her day.
Could I live in her house? And not be haunted by the memories of her mom? I didn’t want to put my girlfriend in an uncomfortable position, but here I am with Leah about to be.
“So, what’s on your mind? We might as well talk it about it now,” I said and took a glance in the mirror to check out her handy work. The tie was perfect. I put my jacket on and made sure I had everything.
“Okay, let’s address the big elephant in the room. His name is Oliver Chapel. You’ve made some big decisions, a lot of them with my sister, Hallie. She’s young and barely above the legal age, and here I am, giving my blessing to move in with her boyfriend. My mother is probably rolling over in her grave, because she would have never agreed to her request. However, it somehow came easy for me to do, and I agreed.”
“Why? Is it because you think my father is going to interfere? Because I promise you that he won’t. He’s in London and is keeping his distance.”
“Come on, Ben, you know Hallie has been trying to talk to you about your father, and you downright refuse to every single time she brings it up. So, now I’m bringing it up.”
“Did Hallie ask you to do this?”
“No, she didn’t. Look, you are part of our family now, and we love you. As for your father, we agreed to move beyond his choices and hope to at least have some measure of peace when it comes to our two families. You shunning him out of your life is not keeping the peace, and I’m just afraid it’s going to hurt Hallie. She’s worried and may not show it all the time, but you are her every thought from the morning she wakes up until the time she goes to sleep. She chose you, Ben, and we stand behind her choice. Please just think about what I’ve said here today.”
I placed my hands on my hips and let out a deep breath. My relationship with my father is complicated, and it tends to get messy at times, but I never believed it was anyone’s problem but my own. Now that Hallie is in my life, she wants to just solve all of the issues that have
been at the center of my entire life.
“I’ll think about it. Thank you.” It was all I could say, not capable of anything more at the moment. I just want to graduate and be with my girl.
“You look very handsome,” Leah said.
“Thank you. You know I had help with my tie,” I laughed and then gave my future sister-in-law a hug. Yeah, that’s been on my mind too! I’ll just keep that to myself until I’m ready to make all of Hallie’s dreams come true.
I received a text from Hallie wishing me luck, and then she told me to listen for the crazy girl clapping away when my name gets called out. I smiled, knowing that was the truth. She was amazing, and although I was blindsided by the “talk” from her sister, I know it comes from a great place filled with love.
We brought the house down last week when it was Leah accepting her diploma. She worked incredibly hard to get here, and all Hallie could do was whistle, clap, and shout out the love for her sister. Later that day, they released graduation balloons out into the sky so their parents would see them. I never believed that I would be welcomed into a family, especially one as loving as the Whitman’s, despite our painful history.
Kenan Stadium was packed, and as I looked out to the huge crowd gathered. Three students were ahead of me before my name would be called. My fingers were twitchy, and my legs felt heavy. I couldn’t wait to walk across the stage, get my diploma, and get off before I tossed my nervous stomach. Again, I looked around and didn’t see anything out of place, but it sure felt strange.
“Benjamin Oliver Chapel,” my name was called, and as tall as I could, I walked across the stage and received my diploma. I shook the Chancellor’s hand and smiled proudly. I looked to the crowd and saw Hallie, Leah, and Harry all cheering me on. She blew me a kiss, and then I made my way down the stairs and back to my seat.
“I am so proud of you, Ben! You did it! And now it’s time to celebrate both graduates.” Hallie clapped her hands and jumped up and down as she held mine and Leah’s hands. Harry snapped a photo of us, a photo that captured the perfect moment for an almost perfect day.
“Okay, boyfriend, you go and celebrate with Oz, Drucker, and James. Make the rounds and toast with champagne. I’m going to take a walk with Leah and Harry and pick you up in an hour? How does that sound?”
“Wonderful, but we have all summer to see friends. I just want today to be with you.” I took my girl in my arms and swung her around.
“Well, we can’t bail on Leah and Harry, so go have at least one glass before we go.”
“Okay. For you, I will.” I kissed her nose and then she practically skipped in happiness back to Leah. They waved me off and smiled until they were out from my sight.
I kept my word and celebrated with my mates. Oz nearly drenched me with champagne, but it was a rite of passage, and I had come prepared with extra clothes in the trunk. “Okay, you crazy animals. My girl is waiting, and the last time I checked, you had women waiting on you too!”
“Yeah, baby, I’m about to go shag the sexy Tina,” Oz exclaimed.
“Seriously, mate? We don’t say that.”
“Sure you don’t. You are not fooling anybody, Ben. Go be shagalicious with your girl, and I’ll do the same with mine.” He finished off his drink and then brought me in for the customary bro hug and a hard slap to my back. I will definitely miss these guys and have been lucky to call them friends.
I removed my tie and placed my jacket in the back of my car when the familiar feeling happened again.
“Hello, Ben,” I heard from behind me.
I should have known he wouldn’t be able to stay away. I turned around, and my father was standing behind me, looking like the well put-together man I always knew him to be. His outer armor was hard and impenetrable, but on the inside, he had a lot of cracks to his foundation, ones he never showed to another living soul.
“Hello, Father.”
“Congratulations, son. I’ve never been prouder than I am of you right now.”
“Thank you, I appreciate you saying so.”
“I know what we agreed, but I had to be here today, and I hope you won’t send me away. I’d like to spend some time with you and, if I may, get to know the young woman my son loves. Would that be alright?”
Who the hell is this man standing before me? Because the man I know would never wear his heart on his sleeve and show any kind of emotion.
“Um, I don’t really know what to say? I’m kind of…”
“Shocked?” he said.
“No, more like hell has frozen over, and you just offered me a pair of skates.”
“Hmmm, that’s one way to put it. I don’t think I would have used those exact words, but I know what you’re saying. Don’t worry, I didn’t get a lobotomy or anything. I’m still me, the cold and ruthless bastard you call dad. I’m in town for a while for work, and before I go to Charlotte, I have a few days free and would like at least one of them to include you.”
“Father, Hallie is waiting for me, and she’s arranged dinner with her family.” I paused, because I just didn’t know what to say to him, and I know he wanted me to.
“It’s fine, Ben. Go have fun. You know where to find me.”
I let out a breath and felt sick to my stomach, but even feeling the way that I do, I let him go. I wiped my eyes and left to find Hallie, cursing myself for having confusing feelings when it came to my father.
“To the graduates!” Hallie called out. Glasses were raised in our honor, and applause followed.
“Thank you,” I said and then leaned over to take my girl in my arms. “I love you, and thank you for today.”
“You’re welcome, and it’s only the beginning of celebrations. We have these two to marry off a week from now, and I plan to get my dance on.”
“I can’t wait to see that,” Harry said and then refilled his glass. I put mine down and took it all in.
“Hey, are you okay?” she asked.
“Hallie, can we go outside to the patio?”
“Sure,” she said and then told Leah she would be right back.
They were oblivious to my sudden change in mood and happily continued to celebrate. I took Hallie’s hand in mine and opened the French doors that led to the patio filled with gorgeous fragrant flowers.
“What’s going on, Ben?”
We sat on the bench that faced one of the many gardens that were on the golf course property.
“My father is in town. Did you know?” I ripped off the Band-Aid and just asked. Her face told me all that I needed to know. “Did you call him? Because I specifically asked you not to. Hallie, I thought I was pretty clear on the subject of my father. And, to make matters worse, your sister ambushes me this morning, and then I’m hit again when he showed up in the parking lot.”
“Ben, I’m sorry about Leah and whatever she said. You know she’s trying to help and knows no other way of butting out. As for me, yes, I e-mailed your father and just gave him the date. I had no way of knowing if he would even read it. So, I’m just as surprised as you are.”
“Hallie, he blindsided me. He asked to join us here today, and I told him a flat-out no. He is the last person I wanted to share this moment with, and you went behind my back and disregarded my feelings.”
“Why is that, Ben? Why do you hate him so much? How can you say he didn’t have a right to be here today? Who do you think helped you get here? I may not understand the dynamics of how your relationship works with him, but I do know you. You told me from the very beginning how hard he pushed you to be the very best in everything you do. You wouldn’t have worked as hard as you’ve done if there wasn’t even a small part inside of you that didn’t want to hear him say how proud he was of you. You are his son, his only child. What did you think was happening here? He would just send you off to college, pay the bills, and that would be it?”
“Yeah, I guess I did,” I said a little louder than I wanted to, but Hallie wasn’t affected by it at all.
She wrapped her arms arou
nd my waist and told me she loved me. “Ben, you need to forgive him. And please don’t tell me that you can’t. If I can, and Leah can, and my mom can, then you can too. You’ve already lost so much. Please don’t risk losing the only parent you have left. Believe me when I say that you don’t get a do-over.”
“Let’s go back to the table.” I reached for her hand and led Hallie back inside. I pulled the chair out for her, and she sat down, sliding in gracefully.
“So, what are we having for dessert? I say, let’s order one of everything,” Leah suggested.
“Um, you have a wedding dress to fit into next Saturday, or did you forget?”
“I’ll drink water for the rest of the week!”
We all laughed, and before she could call over the waiter, I asked to say something. “If it’s okay with you, can we hold off on dessert for a while, at least until my father can join us?”
Two pairs of shocked eyes were on me, but not Hallie. She wiped away a tear and pulled my phone from my pocket, handing me the device. “We can wait. Make your call.” She smiled, and I excused myself from the table and did just that.
No doubt, he was surprised but didn’t say anything that would make me regret my decision to invite him. He wasn’t too far from the restaurant, since we were in the city. He told me to give him fifteen minutes, and he would be there.
“Okay,” I said to myself and calmed my steady heartbeat. I said a silent prayer and then said aloud, “You have one shot. Please don’t let me down.”
“So, who wants coffee?” Leah asked, signaling over the waiter.
“I do,” I heard him say and then turned around to see my father behind me. He had changed into another suit. He smiled and then asked if he could join us.
Leah and Harry stood and welcomed my father while I had a death grip on Hallie’s knee that prevented her from standing. She shot me a glare, but then my look matched hers, and she softened.
“Thank you for including me in your celebration. I’m Oliver Chapel, and I look forward to getting to know you better,” he said.
Before We Knew Page 18