“Yeah, tell that to your sister. Hallie, just promise me that you will call us immediately at the first sign of trouble, okay?”
“I promise, Harry.” I ended the call, and it felt as if I had just put in a double run.
They are exhausting, but I love them. Hopefully, my sister will relax and get back to enjoying her honeymoon with Harry. I would feel awful if my call put a damper on their trip. I checked the weather to make sure I was packing the right clothes. I packed a little extra for us just in case the few days we planned to be there turned into a bigger trip.
I want Ben to spend as much time with his mother as possible. He needs this time with both his parents. “Oh, Oliver, you better not be an asshole when we show up on your doorstep. If you hurt my boyfriend any more than you already have, I swear I’m going to kick you in the shin.”
“Talking to yourself again?” I jumped in surprise and turned to see Ben standing against the doorjamb of our bedroom. “Yes, and you caught me hypothetically kicking your father’s ass.”
“Come here, babe,” he asked, and then I walked into his big arms to wrap around my smaller frame. “Listen, Harry and Leah just called me. I appreciate they care so much and you, little fighter, but I don’t want you to worry. These problems are not new and have been around for a long time. I’m done with the threats and stand-off behavior with my father. I am going to tell him how I feel and not really hold my feelings back. He has one more shot at making it right, and if he doesn’t want it, then at least I know I tried.
“And you will be okay with that?”
“I’m going to have to be. I’m hungry. Let’s order Chinese.”
31
London
Ben…
“Babe, I need coffee,” my girl said as she wrapped her arm around my waist. My girl didn’t do mornings until she had coffee, but I told her we would have breakfast and plenty of coffee once we are on the plane.
The car brought us to a private hanger where the chartered plane Peter reserved was waiting for us. Peter texted me that he was already on board. While the driver was getting our bags, I took Hallie’s hand in mine and let out a breath.
“Ben, are you okay?” she asked and then rubbed small circles in the middle of my palm. It always calmed me when she did this for me.
“I don’t know, Hallie. I’m having second thoughts. Am I doing the right thing here? What if we travel all the way to London, only to have my father slam the door in our faces? Then what do we do?”
“We use your key and go in anyway.”
“I love you so much. Thank you for making this trip with me, because I know I couldn’t do it without you.”
Feeling better about the trip, I took Hallie’s hand and led her up the stairs. We walked in and were greeted by the flight crew. They showed us around the plane, and then Peter came out from the back office.
“It’s about time, Ben. Cutting it a little close,” he said tapping his watch.
“We are right on time, Peter, per your instructions. Now, say hello to Hallie, who is kind enough to stare at your ugly mug for the next seven-plus hours.”
“Ignore him. Hello, Hallie, it is a pleasure to finally meet you.”
“Nice to meet you, Peter, and you are very handsome.”
“Flirt! Stop it.” I leaned in to kiss my girl. We all got comfortable and fastened our seatbelts, getting ready for take-off. “Peter, have you talked to my father? Does he know I’m coming home?”
“I have but did not mention yours and Hallie’s arrival. He needs to be taken down a peg or two, and you showing up will do just that.”
“Or infuriate him more by taking him by surprise. You of all people know how my father keeps up with appearances.”
“Ben, let’s forget about Oliver Chapel and all of his rules. He’s just a man and your father first, or at least should be. This trip is about reminding him of that fact. He is responsible for the choices he will make once he sees you. No matter what happens, you are a good man, a better man, and I am proud of you.”
“Thank you, Peter, but the person really responsible for getting me on this plane is Hallie. She’s changed my life.”
“I’m right here, you know,” she said and then leaned into my side. “It’s going to be okay. You remember our deal, right?”
“Always.”
She slipped her hand in mine, and I shut my eyes, praying both Peter and Hallie were right. While Hallie and Peter got to know one another better, I took a Melatonin tablet and fell fast asleep. I knew I wouldn’t sleep more than a couple of hours if I was lucky but just needed to forget for a little while. When I woke up later than I originally thought, Hallie and Peter were still talking, and she was in her glory listening to all the childhood stories Peter was telling her.
“Okay, that’s enough of my bare bum and whatever else Peter said while I was sleeping.”
“Oh, Ben, come on. It’s so much fun. Just wait until I get my hands on the photo albums,” Hallie gleamed with excitement.
I replied, “Okay, just remember I know where you keep your baby photos, and I look forward to seeing all of your baby nudes.”
“Fine by me. I was adorable and had the cutest belly.”
Leave it to Hallie to say all the right things to make me feel better. All the tension I felt from the moment I got on the plane was gone, and I just felt better.
By the time we arrived in London and passed through customs, it was close to four thirty, London time. Peter went ahead and said he would meet us back at the house. My father was probably still at work, and I was in no rush. I booked a hotel just in case things went south with my father. I called the hotel to hold our reservation, and in the meantime, I took Hallie to dinner.
“You know you’re stalling, right? Please talk to me, Ben?”
“I’m just finishing up with dinner.”
“You’ve been circling the same forkful of pasta for thirty minutes now. I think you’re stalling.”
“So, what if I am? You know we can fly back home, and he would never even know we were here.”
“Yeah, but you would, and we didn’t travel all this way to cop out now. Let’s do this, Ben. I will be with you every step of the way.”
The cab ride was ridiculously short, and now we were standing on the doorstep of my family home. I wanted to just run and get out of dodge, but I had to get past Hallie, and she had a death grip on my hand.
She rang the bell, and we waited. To our surprise, Peter answered the door, and he walked out, closing the door behind him. I looked at Hallie in confusion and then back to Peter.
“What’s going on? Why are you blocking our way inside?” I questioned.
“Ben, I need to talk to you before you go inside. There are some new developments that I was just made aware of. Will you just give me a few minutes to bring you up to speed?”
Hallie looked up at me with compassionate eyes, willing me to calm and listen to what Peter had to say. Before I could answer in reply, the front door opened, and standing there was my father, who looked visibly surprised to see me. He looked tired and unlike himself. I held Hallie’s hand and moved us around Peter to address my father.
“Are you alright?” I don’t know what drove me to ask the question, but something felt off with him, and I was getting a weird vibe.
He ran his fingers through his thick head of hair and straightened his shoulders back. “Yes, I’m fine. A little stunned seeing you here, but your visit is welcomed. Please come in,” he said and stepped aside.
Once we were through the door, a housekeeper took our coats, and we all moved further in the entryway. Peter remained close to me, looking back and forth between my father and us.
“Hello, Hallie, welcome to our home,” he addressed her with kindness, shocking the hell out of me.
“Mr. Chapel,” she answered.
“It’s Oliver, please,” he said and then invited us all into the living room. The staff was already serving tea and scones as we took our seats. “B
en, you don’t know what this means to me to have you back home. I know you’re angry with me for many reasons, but it is my hope we can put those personal differences aside for your mother.”
“Gee, I don’t know, father, when I’ve lost count on how many differences we don’t agree on, beginning with my job and how you bought the company. Yeah, we can start there.”
“Ben…” I heard Hallie say, but I squeezed her hand to let her know I was in control.
“I deserved that, and we will revisit that particular sore spot at a later date. I need to talk to you about some new developments regarding your mother’s health, and that takes priority over everything else.”
“It’s what I wanted to say before your father came out,” said Peter.
“I’ve got this, Peter. Would you be so kind as to give Hallie a tour of the grounds while I speak with my son?”
“Hallie stays right where she is,” I defiantly addressed my father. She nervously looked at my father and back to me, not really sure what to do. “Relax, babe. I need you,” I told her, the only words that needed to be said.
“Very well,” my father agreed. “As I’m sure Peter here has already told you, your mother is back home and doing remarkably well. While in Switzerland, the doctors discovered a grave error in her previous diagnosis and started from the beginning.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, leaning in closer to focus on my father.
“It means they ran every test a team of doctors could possibly do, which included a CT scan and an MRI. A wide range of cognitive tests as well, and then a test that has never been performed until Switzerland.”
“Which was?”
“A lumbar puncture at the small of her back. One doctor had a theory and presented it to the team. I was in North Carolina at the time and authorized it. Within hours of the procedure, your mother improved a great deal and asked why she was in a Switzerland clinic and not at home here in London with her family.”
I looked over to Peter for confirmation, and he smiled, nodding his head. “She’s lucid? And will know who I am?”
“Yes, she will.”
“This is unbelievable!” I said and then got up searching the room for a hidden camera, thinking this wasn’t real and the joke would be exposed at any minute now. “Are you telling me that mother has been misdiagnosed all these years, and she’s suddenly well?”
“It’s a little more complicated than that, but yes, she’s better.”
“Explain the complication, and don’t leave anything out,” I demanded.
My father lifted his tea to his mouth and sipped it, probably contemplating what he would say next.
“I want the truth. I’m done living in the dark,” I said.
“It’s the same for your mother. She is no longer in the dark, and now that we have the real diagnosis, it is my hope she continues to get well. Please understand that she still has depression, and it will be something she will have to face for the rest of her life. The diagnosis of Alzheimer’s is no longer a concern right now.”
I felt as if I couldn’t breathe and needed air. “Will you excuse me? I’ll be right back.” Hallie stood up, but I told her I was okay and wanted her to stay with my father and Peter. I practically sprinted for the front door, and once I was outside, the cool London air touched my face. I bent over to catch my breath and grab my knees. My mother is somewhere in the big house behind me, and I’m out here, having a panic attack.
I knew my time out here was limited with Hallie in there wanting to rescue me. I looked up to the sky and looked for answers that I knew I would only get once I walk back inside. I took another breath to calm my fraying nerves and rejoined my father, Peter, and Hallie in the living room. What I didn’t expect to see was my mother. She was sitting up, attentive and waiting for me. She had tears in her eyes, and with her arms extended, I rushed over to her side.
I broke down on my knees with my head in her lap, not caring about anything else. Her soft hands were in my hair as she whispered that it was okay. I continued to break down until she asked me to look at her. When I did, I felt as if I was seeing my mother for the first time. All these years of imagining her in my mind, and now it’s real. She’s not just a dream anymore, she’s real and here with me for however long God allows her to be.
I didn’t want to move in fear she would disappear, but she assured me she was okay. When I finally got up from the floor, I wiped my eyes and sat beside Hallie. She held my hand in hers, and we looked back to my mom, who was smiling. And then my father did something I never have witnessed before. He took my mother’s hand and held it, showing a public display of affection.
“Ben, if you’re feeling up to it, I’d like to further explain your mother’s condition. She’s asked me to speak for her.”
“Yes, please go on,” I moved so I could be closer to my mom, and while Hallie held my right hand, I took my mother’s free one in my left.
32
London, part two
Ben…
My father whispered a question in my mother’s ear, and she simply nodded and then turned back to me. “Ben, as I explained, the previous diagnosis is not a factor right now. We will have no way of knowing what happens later on, but it’s not an issue today. What your mother does have is called NPH, also known as normal pressure hydrocephalus. I don’t know why they call it normal, but it is what it is.”
I squeezed my mom’s hand and just stopped the conversation for the moment. “Mom, how do you feel right now?”
“Better than I’ve felt in a long time. Ben, let me show you something,” she said and then removed the scarf that she was wearing around her head. And then I saw what was concealed underneath: a shaved area on her head with a healing wound.
“Along with the procedure that gave me a lot of clarity, I had a surgery to have a permanent shunt placed in my brain that will continue to help drain any build-up that surrounds my brain and relieve the pressure. It’s not a cure by any sense of the word, but it will significantly help. What I have is easy to miss, and Oliver, before you argue, it’s just the truth. I do have a mental disorder, a few of them, and now I have NPH, which many of the symptoms can be similar to Alzheimer’s. It was almost an exact match when you list them side-by-side on a piece of paper. There were days that I had trouble walking and putting thoughts together. You can call it a miracle or just a new pair of eyes, but the doctors at the clinic found it and didn’t give up until they had answers.”
“How long will you have to have it in there?” I asked, not taking my eyes off the swollen area.
“Essentially for the rest of my life, god willing. I have to be examined every six months to measure the fluid and make sure the shunt is working properly. I’ve already begun doing physical therapy. The doctors tell me my hair will grow back, and it will be hardly noticeable. You can’t see it, but I have a drain that connects to my stomach, and it will absorb the excess fluid. It’s all very scientific and kind of gross.”
She bit down on her lip, and she shrugged her shoulders and laughed. She laughed for the very first time since I was a child. It was a beautiful sound, and then we just joined in with her.
“Oh, that felt good,” she said and then patted my hand, now looking over to Hallie. “Hi, beautiful girl. Thank you for making the trip with Ben.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else, and I’m happy to see you doing so well.”
“Thank you, Hallie. I’m happy too. So, let’s address an issue right now before another minute passes.”
“Mrs. Chapel, we don’t have to talk about anything right now. You just concentrate on getting well.”
“And that’s one of the many reasons why my son loves you, beautiful girl.”
“Ben calls me a beautiful girl too.”
“It suits you, not only on the outside but on the inside too. I want to apologize to you on behalf of my husband.” Her words made my father freeze, and then she put her hand up to silence him and continued talking to Hallie. “I’m sorry
for his callous treatment and how he made you feel. It wasn’t fair to do that and use me or his son as the reason for a free pass to be a jerk. I’m hoping you and my son will stay with us during your time here and give not only myself but my husband, Oliver, a chance to get to know you better. The real Hallie Whitman, who our son Benjamin loves and adores.”
“I would like that, Mrs. Chapel.”
“Please, call me Lily,” she said and very carefully offered her hand to Hallie. She took it and wiped away her tears. “Thank you, Hallie. Okay, I’m very tired, and it’s been a long day. I’ll see you in the morning at breakfast?”
“Yes, we will be there,” Hallie said, looking back at me over her shoulder.
I gave my mother a kiss on her forehead, and then my father helped her up and handed her off to two nurses. I waited until she was far enough away so she wouldn’t hear us.
My father turned around and once again wore a smug look. He fixed himself a drink and handed me one, but I refused it. Peter gave me a warning look to calm, but I was done being calm. Was he just pretending for my mother’s sake? I opened and closed my fist as he stood there watching me. He poured another and gulped it down.
With all common sense leaving my body, I punched my father right in the mouth, sending him careening back into the wall. “You sonofabitch!” I grabbed a shocked Hallie by the hand and told Peter we would be back in the morning.
“Ben, you come back here!” he shouted at my retreating back. I moved as fast as I could and took one of the cars from the garage to drive us back to our hotel. We checked in, and I put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on my door and phone, blocking the world out. I just stared out into the London skyline as Hallie came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist.
“Hallie, I just need a minute,” I said.
“You’ve had your minute, and now we need to talk about the punch. Ben, why did you do it? He was trying, and the miracle you were just given is unbelievable. Your mom was able to have a complete conversation with you, and all that progress you just made with your father is gone with a strike of a fist. I just don’t understand you.”
Before We Knew Page 22