I took a deep breath. "I thought I could morph him, and -"
"You want to morph a Yeerk?" Marco demanded. He started to make loud barfing noises.
79 "I know it's kind of desperate, but. . ."
My voice trailed off as Marco leaned into the bushes and threw up.
I moved up behind him and rested my hand on his back. Finally Marco's back stopped heaving. He straightened up and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Then he turned to face me.
"Another monkey just fell off the bed," he said. Then, with a crooked smile, he added, "Poor Cassie."
I tried to smile bravely. But I wasn't feeling brave. I was feeling scared and alone.
"Got to think about one thing," Marco said weakly.
"What?"
"What if. . .what if you pull it off?"
Then he collapsed. And I was too busy hauling him back up to his feet to think about what he'd just said.
Only later did it occur to me. Marco had seen the fatal flaw.
If I succeeded. If I rescued Aftran. Then what? I'd have an outlaw Yeerk, without a host, and worse by far, without access to life-giving Kandrona rays.
I could save Aftran. Only to watch her die.
78
«The temperature is down to ninety-two point eight,» Tobias announced from his perch as I rushed into the barn.
I did a little math in my head. I'd been gone for about nine hours. Ax's temperature had gone down one point six degrees. So he was losing not quite two points an hour. So we had about eight hours before he hit the crisis.
"Visser Three's coming back tonight," I told Tobias. I filled him in on my conversation with Mr. Tidwell and my plan.
"I should make it back from the Yeerk pool before Ax needs us to operate," I said.
If I made it back.
I started toward Ax's stall.
80 «Problem,» Tobias said. «His temperature has been dropping all day. His crisis could happen tonight, or a few hours from now, or basically now. I haven't been able to figure out a pattern. Sometimes it drops slow, sometimes fast.»
"You might have to do it yourself. The surgery," I said. "You'll have to try to get Ax to tell you where the gland is. You can use that little room my dad uses when he has to set bones and stuff. There are supplies in there."
«So, Rachel and Marco?» Tobias asked.
"Yeah," I answered.
«lf I have to do it myself, I have to do it myself^ Tobias said. «Try to finish saving the world early. You know more about medicine and stuff than I do.»
"I'll skip the post-saving-the-world party," I promised.
I wanted to be here when Ax hit the crisis. But I wasn't sure I'd be able to do much more than Tobias could. Yeah, I knew how to splint a bird's broken wing and stuff a pill down a raccoon's throat.
But that wasn't brain surgery. Not even close.
One cut in the wrong place, and Ax could lose his ability to thought-speak. Or breathe. It would be so easy to cause him permanent damage. So easy to kill him.
81 How could I live knowing I had killed a friend?
That reminded me of Aftran. She was a friend, too. And pulling her out of the Yeerk pool meant excruciating Kandrona starvation unless I could think of a solution.
I didn't know how Jake did it. How did he make life-or-death decisions and not go insane with guilt and grief?
«Maybe I'll go check on the other patients,» Tobias said, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"You should," I said. He wanted to check on Rachel. "I need to head out in about an hour."
«l'll be back before then,» he promised. He beat wings out the hayloft window.
I hurried over to Ax's stall. When I opened the door, Ax and Erek appeared in front of me.
"How are you guys doing?" I asked them.
«Erek has been teaching me how to play Rock, Scissor, Paper. Rock smashing scissor I understand^ Ax said. «And scissor cutting paper. But not paper wrapping rock. Rocks do not breathe, correct? So how would this hurt them?»
"Paper beating rock. It is sort of weird," I answered.
«Weird, yes. That is why I now owe Erek one million and seven dollars,» Ax told me.
I raised my eyebrows at Erek. He shrugged.
82 «0ne million and seven dollars. Is that a great deal of money?» Ax asked.
"It's up there," I answered, giving his arm a quick pat.
Ax pointed his stalk eyes toward the barn roof. «l don't see it up there,» he said.
"I mean it's a lot. A lot of money," I explained.
Ax kept his eyes focused upward. «Wait. Now I think I see it. I'll go get it.» He took a step forward and a spasm raced through his body.
"That's okay," Erek said. "Don't worry about it. We'll play more later, and you'll win the money back from me."
Ax didn't answer. He just kept staring at the ceiling.
Erek leaned close to me. "He's been like this all day," he whispered. "He'll seem okay. And then he loses it."
So he was still delirious part of the time.
"Any close calls with my dad?" I asked. I glanced at the stall door. From this side, the hologram looked like a smoky silver cloud. I could only see faint shapes and shadows out in the barn.
"Tobias had to buzz the cages once. The animals all freaked, and that kept your dad busy," Erek answered.
83 "Just tell me you're not going to get this stupid illness."
Erek smiled. "I've never been sick a day in my life. And I am really, really old."
I turned my attention to Ax. "Ax. Hey, Ax. Come on, stop staring up there. I need you to talk to me."
Ax slowly lowered his eye stalks.
"Can you tell me where the Tria gland is? Can you point to the spot on your head?" I asked.
«You said the test wouldn't cover the Tria gland,» Ax complained. «You said we didn't have to know the glands.»
Oh, man. He thought he was back in school.
"This isn't a test, Ax. You're not going to be graded or anything," I tried to reassure him. "Just take a guess. Where do you think the Tria gland is? I need to know."
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Erek grabbed my shoulder and pointed into the barn. A dark shadow moved closer.
It was my dad thumping through the barn in his clunky work boots. And he was heading right for us.
I threw myself at the stall door and scrambled over. It had to look like I had materialized out of thin air.
"You don't have to do a thing out here," I
84 blurted. "I already fed and watered all the animals myself."
My dad peered over my shoulder. "Where were you hiding? I was sure the barn was empty when I came in."
"I was right here the whole time. Got to get those bifocals, Dad," I said.
My dad frowned. "You can't fool me, Cassie," he told me. "I know you were in that empty stall. And why."
My heart gave a hard double thump.
"You do?" I asked.
He nodded. "You were pretending you were a horse, weren't you?" he asked.
I hadn't played that game where I pretended I was a horse since I was about five. Okay, maybe six.
But I didn't tell my dad that. I just gave him a weak smile. "Yeah. You caught me."
85 soon as I got my dad out of the barn, I fed and watered the animals. I had to since I'd said I'd already done it.
Then I headed to the corner of the barn where my dad has a little workbench. He's not Joe Carpenter, but he did go through a spell where he was really into making birdhouses. Plus he makes cages sometimes and does repairs around the barn. So he had a decent selection of tools.
I knew my dad had most of the stuff I would need for the Tria gland surgery in the operating room. But I didn't think he'd have anything I could use to cut through Ax's skull. My dad's a great vet, but he doesn't saw through bone much.
86 I scanned the messy array of tools. Was there anything that could cut through bone?
My dad had a saw with teeth I thought could handle the job. But the saw
was way too long. Unless I was going to cut Ax's head straight down the middle like a big melon . . .
I squeezed my eyes shut against the gory image that popped into my mind. I tried to reassure myself. The Tria gland probably wasn't too big. I'd only need to make a small hole.
A small hole leading directly into Ax's brain. Somehow that thought wasn't all that comforting.
I ran my eyes over the tools again. There was a power drill. That would definitely be able to make a hole through bone. But the hole would be too small.
I saw a few more tools jammed behind a half-finished birdhouse. I picked it up, my fingers curling into the little round hole in the front.
Hmmm. That little hole was probably about the size of the one I needed to make in Ax's skull.
I remembered what tool my dad used to make it. It's called a hole saw. It looks sort of like a corkscrew. Except instead of a metal ring that fits around the top of a bottle, there is a little round saw.
I rushed to the operating room, clicked on the
87 fluorescent lights, and stashed the saw. Then I made a little pile of supplies I thought I might need: hemostats, retractors, scissors, syringes, surgical thread, cotton balls, bandages, betaine, alcohol.
As I headed out of the operating room I heard a flapping sound. Then Tobias swooped through the hayloft.
"How's Rach -" I began.
«Didn't get there,» he answered as he headed toward his usual perch in the rafters. «Started to feel . . .»
His words trailed off as he dropped lower for his landing. And lower.
Way too low.
"Tobias, watch out!" I screeched.
THUMP!
Tobias ran into the rafter headfirst.
He plummeted.
THUD!
He landed on the barn floor. And lay still.
"No! No, no, no!" I raced over to Tobias and dropped to my knees beside him.
Gently I scooped him up. I couldn't tell which was trembling. His body. Or my fingers holding his body.
"Tobias, are you okay?" I crooned.
He didn't answer.
88 "Tobias? Tobias!"
«l swear I didn't drink the punch,» he answered.
A little groggy. But definitely alive.
I slowly climbed to my feet, careful to keep from jarring him, and started toward the row of cages. "I'm going to have to put you next to a golden eagle. I know you hate them, but it's the only room available right now."
Tobias gave a weak flutter in my hands. «What are you doing?» he demanded.
"I'm going to get my dad to take care of you," I answered. I slid him into the empty cage and latched the door.
«You're locking me up? No way!» Tobias cried. «l want out of here!» He struggled to his feet and puffed his feathers.
I grabbed a chart and noted that the red-tailed hawk appeared disoriented. I added that I thought it had stunned itself flying into one of the rafters.
If there were other symptoms, my dad would know how to handle them. At least I didn't have to worry about Tobias.
I had to worry about Ax more. If he went into crisis while I was at the Yeerk pool, there would be no one to operate.
Tobias gnawed on one of the cage's metal bars with his beak. "Oh, just stop it," I snapped.
90 "You're in the best place you can possibly be. I have no time, no time, NO TIME for any crap, okay?!"
«0kay,» he said meekly.
"Yes, ma'am," Erek said from the last stall.
I tried to get a grip on myself. I took a couple of deep breaths. Didn't work. I wasn't calm.
89
Tobias was right, I thought as I rushed into the house. I was the leader now. The leader of one. The last little monkey jumping on the bed.
I found my mom sitting at the computer. "I'm doing a report on animal brain surgery," I told her. "Any books you think might help?"
"Hmm." My mother reached out and pulled a thick green book off the shelf over her head. "The introductory chapter in this one is pretty good." She grabbed a thinner volume. "And this one has some good photos."
I took them from her. "Thanks. Rachel has the flu. I told her I'd keep her company a while, okay?"
91 "Well, don't you get it," she said. She grabbed her coffee cup and took a swallow.
I remembered the day she got that cup. She and my dad and I were at the amusement park part of The Gardens. They have one of those photo booths where you get your face put onto another body. We decided on all three of us as super models. My mom thought it was so hilarious she had it put on the cup.
She and I always teased my dad about how he was the prettiest of the three of us. He'd always laugh and give us these outrageous beauty tips.
"I'll tell her," I said. Lying, the way I've had to lie so often since that day Elfangor gave us the power to morph.
"Urn, bye." I wished I could say something else, something more. It could be the last time I -
I rushed out of the house and back to the barn. I headed to Ax's stall. I took a deep breath, then stepped inside.
"How are you doing, Ax?" I asked.
One of his stalk eyes swung a half turn toward me. That was all the reaction I got.
"I just took his temperature again. Ninety-one point nine," Ere said.
It had dropped almost a whole degree in less than an hour. If it continued falling at this rate there was no possible way I'd be back in time.
92 Tobias said there was no pattern to the way the temperature fell. I had to hope that it would slow down now.
"Erek, Tobias is sick now, too. I had to put him in one of the cages," I told him. "If Ax reaches his crisis before I get back . . ."
I really didn't want to say this. But I had to.
"You can't go to my father or anyone else for help," I finished.
What I was really telling Erek was he had to let Ax die.
Erek nodded. "I understand."
If Ax was lucid, he'd understand, too. I knew he would. Ax was a trained warrior-cadet. He'd know that sometimes one member of a team had to be sacrificed to save the rest.
I turned to Ax and rested my palm against his forehead. "Can you hear me, Ax?" I asked.
I felt him move the tiniest bit under my hand. Had he heard me? Was he trying to answer? I couldn't be sure.
"Sorry, Ax," I whispered. "I'd stay with you if I could."
I felt hot tears sting my eyes and I blinked them away.
"You understand, don't you?" I continued. "I have to try and save all of us. Not just you."
I slowly slid my hand away from his forehead.
93 Then I turned and rushed out of the stall without another word.
I grabbed my bike from its spot propped beside the barn door. I hopped on and pedaled hard. I wasn't going far. Good, old-fashioned, normal bike would be easiest.
I pedaled away from Ax and Tobias and Erek. Away from my parents. Away from Jake, Marco, and Rachel.
I was all alone.
I slammed my feet down on the pedals. Trying to burn off some of the fear building inside me.
Trying to block out all the "what ifs."
What if I didn't get back before Ax reached his crisis?
What if my plan didn't work? What if I got sick before I could save Aftran?
What if I screwed up?
What if? What if? What if?
What if I had killed Aftran when I had the chance?
I slowed down as I thought about that one.
I'd been alone when I faced that moment, too. Alone, I had made the choice to let Aftran live.
It had turned out to be the right choice.
Aftran hadn't betrayed me or the other Ani-morphs. She'd gone on to do important work in the Yeerk peace movement.
95 If I got Aftran out of the Yeerk pool before the Visser interrogated her, the peace movement would continue. The Animorphs would continue to fight.
If I failed . . .
94
I rode my bike up Mr. Tidwell's driveway and parked it.
Then I hurried to his front door. He swung it open before I had the chance to ring the bell.
"Where are the others?" he demanded.
"Sick."
"It's just you?"
"Yes. Me. Me or no one."
He hesitated only a moment, then he drew me inside.
"So where should we do this?" he blurted the second I was inside. "Bathroom? Kitchen? Where?"
He kept touching his ear, rubbing his finger
96 around the edge. He seemed totally freaked by what we were about to do.
I felt like telling him to join the club. But I figured that would only make things worse.
"Kitchen's fine," I answered. I led the way, even though it was his house. Even though he was a teacher and I was a kid. There wasn't time to waste on all that.
I sat down at the kitchen table and waved Mr. Tidwell down into the chair next to me. "Now?" he asked.
"Let's do it!" I said.
It was Rachel's line. But Rachel wasn't there.
Maybe it would bring us luck. All of us.
Mr. Tidwell tilted his right ear toward the table.
I leaned down. My eyes locked themselves on the hole at the ear's center. I couldn't look away.
The opening to the hole began to glisten. Then a pencil-thin wand of wet gray flesh slid out. It wiggled this way and that. Almost as if it were tasting the air.
Shh-lop. Shh-lop. Shh-lop.
More of the gray flesh squeezed itself out of Mr. Tidwell's ear.
Plop!
The Yeerk fell the few inches to the table. Its body had been stretched and flattened by crawling out the ear canal.
97 As I watched, the Yeerk's gray flesh contracted, like a hand closing into a fist. Forming its slug-like body.
I jerked back. The legs of my chair squealed against the kitchen floor.
It's Illim, I told myself, trying to control my revulsion.
Mr. Tidwell grabbed a dishtowel from the table and scrubbed at his ear. "It always makes me feel ... I don't know. Empty."
I didn't answer. I wanted to move. I didn't want to have too much time to think about what I was about to do.
The Sickeness Page 5