by Неизвестный
THE EMPEROR HAs No CLoTHES
We know the story: everyone supports the king in his delusion so as to uphold the status quo. The delusion is based on fear and insecurity on the part of the king and greed and grasping for power on the part of the tailors who are sewing his costly though illusive garments for the festival parade. We see that the garments are more expensive than their monetary value: they cost honesty, integrity, and the willingness to risk stating what
one truly knows. We pay the price by squashing the whispering of the inner voice, the wisdom of Sacred Dove, and the instinctive knowledge of the Sticky One.
The lies can cost a whole society, once the lies are built upon and embedded into the fabric that weaves the culture together: commerce, law, art, and social status. The garments can also cost our vitality and our souls, as
we are swaddled in falseness that breeds doubt. Where can one stand and
breathe and see true colors? When can one speak? It is the child-in all
innocence, untrained in the ways that breed insecurity and secure of his
place in the natural world-who shouts the words that shatter the spell of
lies. The king is naked, and so is the honesty of the Black Heart.
Listen to yourself when you have moments when something in you says: "That's not
right!" You don't have to blurt out what you feel, but start to notice those feelings: when do
they arise, in what situations? How do they make you feel?
When in an innocent state in a larger group, I can become like the child
that shouts out, "The Emperor has no clothes!" This is a valuable st•rvin·
to provide to a group. But, again, it cannot bt' manipulated, it cannot lw
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forced, or else it will simply be divisive. But if it is coming from a state of
a pure heart and openness, connected to the forces running through all the
earth, even anger can be helpful and cleansing and can act as a catalyst for
positive change.
THE WAY TO You R BLACK HEART
This reading is helpful for seeing a clear path to my own innocence.2 As
you shuffle, ask, "What do I need to enter the Black Heart state more
fully, and to integrate it into my life?" Or you might ask, "What blocks me
from my freedom?" This reading is a gateway into yourself, that opens as
you say, "I will be free:'
I. I
2.Will
3. Be
4. Free
5. Key to the Heart
BLACK HEART READING
2This was inspired by the Gateway reading in Stevee Postman and Eric Ganther, Tht Cosmic Tribt
Tarot (Destiny Books, I 998). See www.stevee.com.
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The beginning card is "I" ( I). This is you, right now, as you are. The
next card, "Will" (2), is both a reflection of your potential and the condition of your will. It represents what you need to engage in your belly to move forward. This position may also hold what is blocked in you that
needs to be made dean for your will to be strong. The "Be" (3) card is
what you need to manifest, a state of "I am;' of pure being not tied to personality. It may also represent what you need to move toward, but it is mostly an admonition to be as you are, present and perfected in the moment. What is your being in this moment?
The final card of the sentence is "Free" ( 4 ). This card might be an image of what your freedom looks like or an answer to the question "How can I free myself?" What needs to happen for you to be free? The final
card, the heart of the reading, is your Black Heart ( 5), the key to your freedom. What opens the door to a life of honesty, innocence, life force, sexual connection, freedom &om shame, living as a whole, balanced being in the world? Let this open you, and take you through.
quufdiun of the centef-Keep ef
of the Black Heuft
In Feri, we say, "By the Center, which is the Circumference of All." This
statement is the core of Feri paradox. Here stands the Guardian of the
Gates, also known as the Keeper of the Black Heart. The Gates are both
outside of us and within. We travel into other worlds and we travel deeply
past the gates of our souls. The Guardian keeps the Black Heart because I
keep the Black Heart.3 This is a mystery; there is a Guardian of the Center and the Center Guardian is also myself. The blue spark resides within me.
3This note is partially inspired by conversation with many Feri initiates. Not all Feri initiate� tr;u:h
of this Guardian, rather it comrs from my lineage.
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The gates to each working and the other realms only open if I am fUlly
present, clean, powerful, and Innocent. I am the key, and the gatekeeper.
Take a deep breath, connecting to your grounding cord. Cast the blue sphere around you.
Light a candle on your altar, purple or black. Turn toward the Center, and say, "And by
the Center, which is the Circumference of All. By the power in the heart of the liYitch."4
Open yourself to the power of the Guardian there, as you breathe deeply. Begin to softly
whisper, "Guardian of the Gates, Keeper of the Black Heart." Feel your own heart beating.
Open to the Guardian of the Center. Chant the name, over and over. "Guardi�n of the
Gates, Keeper of the Black Heart. Unlock the spinning portal and join this rite." You are
calling to yourself, yet another presence may come closer to you. What does this Guardian
feel like? "Guardian of the Gates." Speak the name, over and over, whisper it, sing it, or
shout it out if you are able. The Guardian holds the Black Heart of Innocence, opening primal space and shifting time. It shows me that the way through is the way within. Say the name, over and over. Feel the presence. Introduce yourself and say:
Guardian of the Gates, Keeper of the Black Heart,
Circumference and center of radiant all.
Unlock the spinning portal, join our rites.
Show us the rush of the forces of life.
Let us open together,
Let us thrive.
Touch our spirits, touch our souls.
May we fill with abundant growth.
May we vision the worlds as whole.
May we bring the worlds to love.
Guardian of the Gates,
J%lcome.
4This first part is traditional to Feri. The second part ("by the power in the heart of the Witch") comes from the rcri ritual troupe I dance with, The Painted Fan.
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Take a deep breath. Feel the Guardian there, standing in the Center, beating in your
heart, huge and beautiful, small and strong. You may wish to write or draw what you senst.
There may be a key to this presence. Listen for it. When you are done for this meeting, say:
Guardian of the Gates,
Thank you for your presence
Thank you for the gifts of spirit, sex and love.
May I see clearly, and learn without shame.
May you always rest within me.
Hail and farewell.
You may notice that I thanked the Guardian of the Gates but not the
Keeper of the Black Heart. This is a reflection of the mystery that I am the
Keeper of the Black Heart and wish to always remain so.
DANCING WITH You R SHADow LovER
The Shadow Lover is a being made of your own essence that can be a magical helper to you.5 It can journey with you back through stages in your life when you needed a friend and felt alone, it can go with you into places
where you feel fear, it can initiate you sexually into that primal, inn
ocent
state, perhaps a better, cleaner sexual initiation than the one you may have
had. This latter is what we will use for this Black Heart exercise.
Traditionally, the Shadow Lover is your polar opposite, dark where you
are light, male where you are female. For some people, however, it is same
5Shadow Lover, which Victor called "frcvachi" (and called Companion Srlf in Reclaiming). is J
concept important to chr sexual mystrrit·s in Frri Tradition. l first usrd it to teach Black l lrart with
priest Gwydion.
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gendered physically, but possessing different attributes. I recommend exploring this being as your polar opposite to bring home the mystery that we contain all within us-male and female, God and Goddess, fear and
bravery, soft and strong, dark and light. If you will truly have trouble going through a sexual experience with a physically gendered opposite, even with the knowledge that it is yourself, feel free to let it be a same gendered
double. This is not about whether you are queer or straight; it is about the
multiplicity of divinity and paradox of the Divine Twins within you. This
is about your own spirit on its journey.
As I've said before, Feri is not a fertility tradition, but an ecstatic one.
It cultivates the ecstasy of the poet and dancer, in full communion with
the Gods. It is about mystical experience, making it a living tradition,
changing with each person it passes through. The ecstasy is tied into sexual energy in that, in Feri, everything comes back to the life force. Everything begins and ends with sex. Feri Tradition is home to many queers, partially because it doesn't rely on exterior gender balancing the way some
other traditions of Witchcraft do. There is no need to have an equal number of males and females in a circle. Our fertility comes from within ourselves and &om our connections to the multiverse.
We all have access to God and Goddess, you needn't be male or female
to have a special "in" with any set of Deity. Rather, it is quite individual.
I myself run God energy much more readily than Goddess. In a Feri circle, you will see men and women invoking Gods or Goddesses, it doesn't have to be, for example, a man calling in the God, or a woman calling the
God into a man. A woman can invoke the God hersel£ And a man a Goddess. A transgendered person evokes the mystery that God Herself is multiply gendered.
The queerness of this comes not from preferencing one gender or sexuality over another, but from the pureness of running life force as sexual energy, for oneself, connected to the universe. A key to this is found in thr
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Feri creation myth I spoke of at the beginning of this book, when the Star
Goddess catches her reflection in the curved black mirror of space and falls
in love with hersel£ Out of divine lust, she makes love to herself and from
that act, the other Gods and Goddesses are born, spiraling out, and giving
rise to the rest of creation.
There is a further mystery here, that of the Divine Twins. In Feri Tradition, God Herself creates Gods who are brothers and lovers, blue and green or sometimes green and red. They can be a male/ male coupling,
female/ female, or female/ male. This is how Nature changes, how spirit
responds, how the Gods walk in our lives, ever creating the mystery. It is
the mystery of reciprocal feeding in Nature, of the interplay of light and
shadow, life and death, eternity and the instance. This is a truth to be
worked with over and over, and will unfold throughout years of work.
To recognize this paradox within ourselves, we will first create our own
double, a mirror image. Then we will let this shift into the Shadow Lover
and journey together to the center of the earth. Take a breath of courage
if you need to. I recommend that you make a tape of yourself reading this
journey, so you can experience it fully.
In a comfortable space, standing, body rocking back and forth, or sitting comfortably with
your spine erect, open to the flow cj energy, begin to breathe. Connect with the earth beneath
you, drawing energy in through your grounding cord. Begin to breathe in sets cj Jour, as you
do during the Prayer for Alignment. Allow yourself to fill with life force, with the energy
that is always available around you, beneath your feet and above your crown chakra. Keep
breathing, long, slow, steady breaths. Breathe until you feel full cj energy, until your skin
begins to tingle, your genitals swell and open to sexual energy.
When you feel very full cj life's energy, begin to breathe out in front cj you. Using your
will and intention, create a double cj yourself. On each breath, let your double become more
solid, more substantive in front cj you. See your face, hair, and neck forming. See your
shoulders and chest, belly, thighs, on down to your feet. With each breath, your double grows
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more solid in front if you. You are forming it if your own breath; it is a part if you. Remember, as you exhale, it forms, and as you inhale, more energy is always flowing into you, so you do not deplete yourself
As you breathe in and out, let it be your intention to see your Shadow Lover, that being
that lives deep within your essence. Begin to create this self with your breath and the essence
in front if you. See your hair change, and your face. Your height and weight may change; see
your muscle mass rearrange. The structure if the bones in front if you begins to shift, as
does the shape if the chest and shoulders, the slope if the belly, the genitals. Thighs shift,Jeet
become differently formed. You are creating your Shadow Lover, the self that always lives
dormant inside you. What does it look like, this part if you? Reach out, touch it. Feel its
skin. Ask its name. Give it a kiss.
Keep breathing, and know now that your Shadow breathes, too. Take hands. Holding
hands, you begin to sense the life force around you. Feel it thrumming beneath your feet. You
and your Shadow begin to sink slowly into the earth. Feel the earth caress your body, molding itself around you, as still you hold the hand if your companion. You can sense the trees rooting more firmly, the underground insects making love to each other, the animals shifting
in their burrows, warm and relaxed. Sink further and further, the edges if your bodies siftening, taking in earth, as you move toward the warmth that is the center if the earth,Jeeling all the while the heartbeat if the Mother deep within the earth, deep within your body, your heart responds, a pulse answers in your genitals. You are on a journey, becoming one
with the life force.
Drop further and further into the body if the earth Mother. Keep dropping until you
are in the very center if the earth. Feel this place if warmth, oozing around you, hot with
the iron that is held in all stars. This is the place if melding, if molding. This is the place
where life begins. You and your Shadow reach for each other, holding tightly. The whole earth
contracts, beats, shifts around you, sift and hot and cradling your flesh, your flesh that is no
longer quite solid, but sift itself, having merged to taste the earth. Taste the flesh if your
Lover. In this space, the very heart if the earth Mother, begin to make love to yourself
Keep breathing. In this making love to your self, to your Shadow, you are like the Star
Goddess who saw herself as beautiful and, reaching out in desire, in the lust if all creation,
created the Gods, who
created the earth, who created the creatures if the earth. Make love to
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the earth around you; it responds to you, it rises and falls upon your breath, and the breathing of your Shadow. You are primal. You are full of desire. You are earth and other and no longer alone. You are one with all, yet separate in consciousness. You are. Make love in all
innocence. This is a place with no shame. This is a place and time of connection. Reach out.
Feel pleasure. Feel the beauty of all things. Dissolve into pleasure. Dissolve into innocence.
This is source, pure and free. Breathe. Let it shape your cells and form your bones anew. In
that long, ecstatic kiss, that union, let yourself tingle. Let yourself be full and free. Liquid
and form, reshaping around your lover, who is also yourself. Who is all that you desire, deep
in the heart of the earth Mother. Let yourself fill with pleasure, with divine ecstasy. Let
yourself be open. Open to love, open to life, open to sex and all that you desire. Love yourself. Make love to your Shadow. Let your Shadow make love to you. You are sharing in pleasure, opening to ecstasy. Feel your body fill with life, responding, opening, growing slick with sweat and the juice of life.
When you have loved your fill, begin to slow. Breathe. Let yourself begin to reform as
you are, perhaps changed, yet still recognizably yourself. Let your Shadow Lover reform opposite you. Breathe together. Look into each other's eyes. Continue to feel the earth beating around you. Feel the pulse of life. Thank the earth Mother. Thank your Lover. Begin your
journey back up. Your body grows more solid around the edges as you rise. Rise up, past the
burrows, past the insects. Rise up, past the rooting trees. You are one with these things, for
all time now, you will know this connection. But for now it is time to rise back and reform
into your physical body.
Rise up until you and your Shadow are once again standing on the surface of the earth.
Give your Lover one last kiss, one last embrace. Begin to let the vision of your Shadow Lover
shift back to the vision of your double, slowly shifting until your image is standing in front
of yourself. Begin to breathe yourself back inside. lflth each breath, your double becomes less