They were toasting marshmallows around the bonfire, listening to some of their favorite tunes while the sun set that night. They’d had a huge fish fry, thanks to the boys’ skill, and Brady’s cook had contributed baked potatoes and corn on the cob to make it a real feast.
Shay was sitting between Chase’s legs, her back against his chest when she conceded she was surrounded by some of her favorite people in the world. The fact that Brady and Bryce were two of the most important people in Chase’s life had always made them feel like her family too, and Ainsley, who was snuggled up in Bryce’s sweatshirt, under the guise of staying warm, was more than her best friend. She was her sister.
“Penny for your thoughts,” she whispered, while the guys argued about college football and which team had the best shot of going the distance.
“I’m just happy,” she whispered back. “Happier than I’ve been in a long time.”
They’d swam, fished, spent some time on Brady’s boat, listened to Brady strum his acoustic guitar and sing some of their favorite songs, eaten, knocked back a few cold ones, and talked about the past. It was the most fun Shay had had in a long time, with the exception of last night’s football game.
“I can tell,” Ainsley said, reaching for her hand. “You wear it well.” Ainsley snuck a peak at Chase. Satisfied that he wasn’t listening in, she said, “He’s a big part of the reason, you know. Don’t let him get away again.”
Chase was the only man in the world who’d ever broken her heart completely and she knew he still had the power to do it all over again. “We’re taking it slow,” she said, mimicking Chase. “Making sure it’s right this time.”
“When a man lights you up the way that one does, believe me, it’s right.”
“Oh yeah?” Shay glanced at Bryce, who was sitting between Chase and Brady. “I’m not the only one who’s been lit up like a Christmas tree all day. You’ve barely taken your eyes off him, you know.”
Ainsley sighed before releasing Shay’s hand. “That obvious, huh?”
“You still have feelings for him.” It wasn’t a question. Shay didn’t have to ask because she didn’t need an answer. She could see the truth every time they looked at each other. “So what are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing.” She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as she stared into the crackling fire. “I can’t. Not after what happened with—”
“You told me you wouldn’t be afraid to put yourself out there again when the time was right. You promised you wouldn’t let that divorce ruin your chances for happiness.”
“It hasn’t,” she said, with a trace of stubbornness that told Shay she was digging her heels in, preparing for a fight. “I’m dating again. When was the last time you went out on a date, before Chase came back to town?”
Shay wasn’t even sure she and Chase were dating. She just knew she wasn’t interested in anyone else. “You’re dating guys you’re not really into. That doesn’t count.”
“So?” Ainsley said, shrugging. “Maybe I’m practicing for the real thing.”
“Bryce is the real thing and you two don’t need any practice. You’ve had plenty.”
Ainsley grabbed Shay’s hand, pulling her to her feet.
“Hey, where’re you two going?” Chase asked, reaching for Shay’s other hand.
“Washroom,” Ainsley said. “You know girls do these things in pairs.”
“Well, hurry back,” Chase said, kissing Shay’s hand.
“Hey,” Brady said. “It’s getting late. You guys should stay here tonight. I had a last minute cancellation, so I’ve got a couple of extra rooms. You’re welcome to them.”
Shay and Chase exchanged a look before Brady said, “There are two queen beds in each room, so you girls can bunk together and the guys can take the other room.” When Chase gave his brother a look, Brady chuckled. “Or not. Whatever you want.”
“We’ll let you know,” Ainsley said, sneaking a quick peek at Bryce before dragging Shay towards the inn. “Oh wow. He wants to share a room with you tonight. What are you going to do?”
Shay considered it, just to have more alone time with him. But sticking her best friend in a room with her ex-boyfriend seemed cruel. Or did it? “But that would leave you and Bryce alone in a room. Are you sure you’re ready for that?”
“Am I ready for it?” she asked, stopping in Shay’s path before turning to face her. “What about you? What happened to taking it slow?”
“I’m still in love with him.” Shay didn’t know if she would have had the confidence to make that confession a few hours ago, but it was true. “I’m scared to death of getting hurt or hurting him.” She rubbed her forehead “Or even hurting Nick…” She shook her head. “But I do want to be with him again, more than anything.”
“Then you should go for it,” Ainsley said, giving her a hug. “Don’t wait for things to be perfect. They never will be. Just take your happiness where you can get it.”
“But what about you? I can’t expect you to share a room with Bryce. That would be weird, wouldn’t it?”
“Don’t worry about us,” Ainsley said, linking her arm through Shay’s as they continued on the well-worn path to the inn. “You heard Brady. There are two beds. We’ll be fine.”
Chapter Twelve
Chase was a little stunned when Shay agreed to share a room with him. Even if they just spent the night cuddling, it was more than he’d hoped for when this day started.
“I was thinking about taking a shower,” Shay said, holding up a strand of her long dark hair. “It probably smells like smoke from the fire. Hopefully Brady has some complimentary soap and shampoo in there.”
“I’m sure he does.” Chase removed the plaid shirt he’d thrown on over his t-shirt that morning, setting it on the back of the chair. “A shower sounds like a good idea. Don’t use all the hot water,” he teased.
She smiled and stepped into his arms.
Chase could feel his heart beating double time as he looked down into those gorgeous brown eyes that had drawn him in so many years ago. Van Morrison’s Brown Eyed Girl popped into his head. That song had always reminded him of Shay and every time he heard it on the radio he turned it up and sang along, his heart breaking just a little more for everything they’d lost.
“You sure you’re ready for this?” he whispered, his voice husky as he slipped his hands into her hair, tilting her head back. “For us?”
“It feels right, doesn’t it?”
Chase finally felt like his life was back on track, for the first time in fifteen years, and he knew there were two reasons for that: Shay and their son. “Being with you couldn’t possibly feel wrong, Shay.”
She curled her hands around his biceps. “I know we hurt each other in the past and we’re just getting to know each other all over again but—”
He kissed her to silence her doubts, pulling away slowly, satisfied to see a smile on her lips.
She drew a shaky breath. “Being with you again feels so good. But I don’t want to rush anything.”
“Neither do I, sweetheart. It feels like we have all the time in the world now. We’re in no hurry, right?” In spite of his hurt, anger, and confusion after leaving Landon, he’d woken up dreaming about her for months. It was over a year before he could even think about dating again and he knew his heart would never recover if he lost her again.
“We’ve both made our fair share of mistakes,” she whispered, brushing her lips across his cheek. “But I know you’ll never be one of mine.”
She walked backwards into the bathroom, her eyes locked on his as she blew him a kiss before closing the door.
Chase sank down on the bed and said a silent of prayer of thanks for the position he was in.
He had Shay back.
For years making her happy had been reason enough for him to get out of bed in the morning, and while he now had a big company to run and a lot of people counting on him to keep his head in the game, he couldn’
t imagine anyone or anything ever being more important to him than the woman blessing him with another chance.
He heard her turn the shower off as he tipped his head back, at peace with their decision to take it slow. He meant what he said to her, he felt like they had all the time in the world to re-connect, to make getting to know each other all over again a top priority.
She stepped out of the bathroom, her hair still damp, enveloped in a fluffy white bathrobe that nearly grazed her ankles. “Your turn. I even saved you some hot water.”
Seeing her standing there, a vision in white, made him long for the day when she’d don a white gown and promise to be his forever. “When I left you kept a piece of my heart, Shay.” He wanted her to know he’d always been hers, even when there were thousands of miles between them.
A slow smile curved her lips before she said, “And I’m not giving it back, just so you know.”
He chuckled, his voice hoarse with emotion as he said, “I don’t want it back. I just want you to…” He had never tried expressing his feelings to any other woman. Even trying to do so felt awkward. He was a guy’s guy. He wasn’t used to talking about his feelings, but he knew he had to. “I just want you to take better care of it this time and I’ll promise to do the same with yours. Deal?”
She stepped closer, reached out to stroke the stubble on his cheek. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
“You have to forgive yourself. Just like I have to forgive myself. We can’t move forward with guilt and regret paving our way, sweetheart. It’ll never work that way. You know that.”
She nodded slowly. “I know, it’s just hard to let go of feelings you’ve had for so long.”
He held his hand over hers, pressing his lips to her palm. “Let’s just start over. Let go of all the negative stuff that’s been weighing us down so long. Okay?”
She closed her eyes. “That would feel so good.”
He’d had other girlfriends, but none of them had filled that void in his soul, the way Shay did.
“We belong together, you know.”
She seemed too overcome to respond, so she simply nodded, her eyes filling with tears again.
“Hey,” he said reaching out, brushing the back of his hand against her cheek. “No more tears. What’s that about?”
“I’m just so happy to be here with you. After I broke your heart and took our son away from you, I thought you’d hate me forever.”
“Sweetheart.” He stood, drawing her into his arms. “You didn’t take him away from me. We ultimately decided adoption was the best course of action. Were we pressured into it? Yes. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right thing to do. Look at Nick, he’s a great kid. He’s had a good life. He doesn’t hate us for the choice we made, so why should we go on punishing ourselves?”
“I know.” She flattened her hands against his chest, pressing her forehead into them. “I guess I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Having you back in my life, and Nick… it’s everything I ever wanted. I guess I’m still not sure I deserve it.”
Chase knew he wouldn’t be able to convince her overnight, but he trusted that the more time they spent together, and with their son, the faster those old wounds would heal. “You deserve a lot better than me,” he joked. “But I’m hoping by the time you figure that out it’ll be too late. You’ll already be mine.”
“Then I guess it’s already too late,” she said, giving him a watery smile. “I’ve always been yours, Chase. You just didn’t know it.”
“You’re killin’ me here,” he said, kissing the hand she had resting against his heart as he tried to keep his own emotions in check.
“Sorry.” She giggled as she stood on her toes to press a kiss to his lips. “I promise to try and keep it light and fun for the rest of the night. How’s that?”
“Now fun I can do. I’m an expert at that.”
She smiled, no doubt remembering how much fun they’d had together over the years. “Since it seems you’re in no hurry to shower, I’m going to dry my hair.”
Shay stared at her reflection in the mirror as she replaced the dryer. She couldn’t believe how much her life had changed in the past month. Before Chase walked back into her life, she’d been so focused on supporting her family she’d left little to no time for herself. She hadn’t thought about her future, or finding a life partner. She’d never considered the possibility of being a mother because she didn’t feel she deserved another chance after failing so miserably the first time.
But Chase made her see things differently. He made her feel that she deserved to be happy and that could only come with forgiveness. He’d brought Nick back into her life and helped her find an inner peace she hadn’t known in years.
Thanks to him she’d stood up to her parents, set some boundaries, and even started writing a bit in the evenings, dreaming of the day when she could do it full-time.
“What’s taking so long?” Chase shouted. “I’m getting lonely out here.”
“One sec.”
She reached into her purse and retrieved the plastic disc. As she dry swallowed the tiny pill, she wondered if there would ever be a time they would celebrate the news that they were expecting. Loving him as much as she did, she realized she secretly wanted a second chance to be Chase’s wife and have his baby. She’d love to watch him in action, being the amazing father she knew he would be.
She walked into the room to find Chase propped against a stack of pillows, one hand behind his head as he looked out the window. The white curtains on either side of the wide window hadn’t been drawn, but with the lights out and no neighbours, privacy wasn’t an issue.
“What were you thinking?” she asked, crawling in to bed next to him.
He pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head. “I was looking at the stars,” he confessed. “Wondering… if I had one wish, what would it be?”
“And?” She held her breath while she waited for him to respond. “What would it be?”
“I couldn’t decide. I want both you and Nick in my life. No way could I choose between you.”
For her that was the perfect response, because she couldn’t choose between the man she loved and the child they’d created together either. “I still can’t believe we got to meet him,” she said, tracing his lower lip with her fingertip. “This morning when I woke up I thought I’d dreamed the whole thing.”
“Yeah, me too.” He chuckled. “But then I got a text from him and it reminded me that it was real.”
“He texted you?” Shay asked, sitting up. “What did he say? Why didn’t you tell me?”
He pulled her back down beside him, cradling her in his arms. “I was going to tell you. He said he talked to his mom and she’s fine with him coming to Landon next week, assuming we still want him to.”
“Oh my gosh, of course we do! You told him that, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I told him.” Chase smiled as he brushed her hair off her forehead, silently soothing her. “He has a game on Friday night. It’s an away game, between here and Brockville, actually. So I told him I’d come to the game and we could leave from there.”
“Oh, okay.” Shay was glad that Nick reached out to one of them and seemed so receptive to seeing where and how they lived, but she couldn’t deny she felt a little left out as she watched Chase building a relationship with him.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Chase said, rolling on his side to face her. “And he asked if I thought you’d be able to make his game too.”
“Really?” Shay asked, grinning. “He asked about me? He wants me there too?”
“Of course he does, babe.” He shifted her hair, so it was over her shoulder and draped down her back. “I really think he wants us in his life.” He closed his eyes. “And honestly, I don’t know what we did to deserve this, because in his position, I don’t think I’d be so understanding. I’m just glad that he is.”
“Me too.” She wrapped her arms around
him, tilting her face up to meet his. “I’m so grateful for this, Chase. You and me. Nick. It seems almost too good to be true. I’m afraid to think it could possibly get better.”
“Ah, but it can. I promise.”
Shay smiled, knowing she could trust his word. They weren’t kids anymore, with parents trying to keep them apart. They were adults, who’d learned from and paid for their mistakes and had come back together better and stronger because of them.
Chapter Thirteen
Bryce was sitting alone in the dining room the next morning, scowling into his coffee when Chase found him.
“Uh oh, I know that look,” Chase said, claiming the chair across from him.
“Yeah,” Bryce said, frowning. “And with that smug smile on your face, I guess I don’t have to ask how things went with Shay last night.”
“I’ll fill you in about that in a minute,” Chase said, helping himself to coffee from the stainless carafe in the middle of the table. It was a little late for breakfast, so the large room was empty, save a few diners seated near the buffet table clear across the room. “I want to hear about what happened between you and Ainsley. You guys didn’t try to kill each other, did you?”
“I’m so stupid,” he said, rubbing his hands over his face.
“No arguments here,” Chase said, reaching for one of the untouched blueberry muffins on Bryce’s side plate. “So,” he said, biting into it. “What’d you do this time?”
Bryce looked behind him to make sure no one was within earshot before he whispered, “I came on to her, told her I still had feelings for her… and wanted to be with her.”
Chase wasn’t surprised. His friend had to acknowledge the truth sooner or later. “No kidding.”
Bryce grimaced. “Do I look like I’m kidding? But that’s not the worst of it. She shot me down, because she said she wants to take it slow. But she said she still has feelings for me too, and was excited about trying again.”
He raked his hands through his hair, “So, this morning she started talking about what would happen when we got back home. She said she could cook dinner for me tonight, started talking about some family wedding she had to go to next weekend, asked me if I wanted to come as her date—”
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