“What’s your dad like?” I asked, taking a sip of wine.
“He’s charming, selfish, sloppy, and powerful. That about sums him up. What’s your dad like?”
I smiled. It was impossible not to when I spoke of him. “He’s great. He’s loyal and kind. Fiercely protective, smart, and lots of fun.”
“What would he think of me taking you out tonight?”
I released a ragged breath. “Is this a date?”
He laughed. “Yeah. I thought it was. You don’t?”
“Yes. I just wasn’t sure. I got the feeling you don’t date.”
“I don’t. I mean, I’ve never liked anyone enough to want to.”
“And you like me enough?” I asked, raising my brow in question.
His smile grew wide. “I do.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t have a fucking clue,” he said, and we both laughed.
The waiter set our food down, and it smelled delicious. But my mind was elsewhere. Were we dating? Was this just a one-time thing?
“Wait until you try this. It’s the best Italian in town,” he said.
I twirled the noodles around my fork. Jack Moore style.
“How many girls have you slept with?” I mean, if we were even considering dating, this was something I should know, right?
He chewed slowly and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I haven’t counted.”
I rolled my eyes. “More than you can count on both hands?”
“Yes.”
Ewww. More than I thought. Restrain judgment, Jade.
“Less than one hundred?”
He laughed. “Yes, definitely. How about you?”
“Zero.”
He looked up and his smile stole the air from my lungs. “So less than you can count on two hands?”
I continued chewing and took a minute to process this new information. “So, you’ve never had a serious girlfriend?”
“Nope. Never felt the need to.”
“Do you feel the need to now?” I asked.
“Yes, More Jade.”
I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “Why?”
“Because I want more of you.”
“No one wants more of me. I’m not that exciting.”
“I disagree. I find you riveting,” he said. His voice was all tease, and I couldn’t look away from him. He was beautiful.
“Riveting, huh?”
“Yes. Smart and beautiful. Kind and snarky all at the same time. What’s not to like?”
My stomach flipped and fluttered.
“Trust me. There’s plenty.”
“Doubtful. Have you had many boyfriends?”
“Two. Nothing super serious. But I dated Charlie my junior year of high school and Damon my senior year for a few months.”
“Charlie sounds like a putz and Damon shared a name with the Devil—enough said. They didn’t try to sleep with you?”
I laughed, and I couldn’t stop. The wine was getting to me. I was drinking water the rest of the night so I kept my wits about me. “I didn’t say no one ever tried. I said I haven’t done it.”
“Waiting for someone special?”
“Something like that, I guess. Waiting until I love someone.”
His eyes grew wide and he coughed. “Wow. You’re really holding out.”
“I guess.”
“You don’t have to be in love with someone to kiss them, do you?”
I shook my head and smiled. “Nope.”
“Ah, good to know.”
We continued talking about our childhoods and I learned that Cruz played soccer all through high school and was offered an athletic scholarship to a few out-of-state schools. He didn’t consider leaving Lennon who was still a junior. He knew he couldn’t play sports and be in the band, so he chose the band. He chose his brother. We’ve lived such different lives, yet somehow, I felt like we got each other. Maybe that was how every girl who liked someone felt.
“You ready to get out of here?” he asked.
I didn’t want the night to end, but we couldn’t sit here forever. The place was empty, and everyone probably wanted to go home.
“Yeah, sure.”
“You want to stop by the beach before we go home? I won’t make you sing, but I brought some blankets and a few coats because I know it’s your favorite place.”
My heart raced. He remembered me telling him I loved Oak Street Beach.
“I’d like that.”
Once we got there, he spread out a blanket and handed me an oversized navy winter jacket, and he slipped on the black one. We huddled together on the blanket and he pulled me close, rubbing my arms to warm me up.
“I feel like a giant marshmallow,” I said, leaning into him.
He turned me to face him and tucked the loose hair behind my ear. He was so close, his warm breath tickled my cheek. There was a breeze moving around us, but I wasn’t cold anymore.
“You’re a cute marshmallow.” His voice was gruff.
His thumb moved back and forth across my bottom lip, and I was putty in his hand. I’d kissed a few guys, but nothing compared to this moment. I was practically panting for him to kiss me.
He moved closer, and his lips grazed mine, teasing and torturing me.
“Please,” I whispered.
His mouth moved over mine, slowly. He was gentle, and sweet. My fingers tangled in his hair, the way they’d been dying to for the last two and a half months. His hand caressed my cheek, and he tilted my head back for better access. My lips parted and his tongue found mine. I moved onto his lap, placing one leg on each side of him. I’d never straddled a guy before, but I couldn’t stop myself. His hands weren’t traveling anywhere they weren’t invited, they remained on my face and neck. Cruz moaned into my mouth and my body started moving against his on instinct. I felt his desire beneath me, and it stirred something inside me I’d never experienced before. I felt wanted and powerful. And I liked it. Maybe more than I should. Because when he pulled away, I whimpered.
“I like kissing you, More Jade,” he said, and his gaze locked with mine. I saw the heat and desire there and I smiled.
“I like kissing you too. Why’d you stop?”
“Because if you keep grinding up against me, things could get very embarrassing for me.”
“Is that so?” I pressed myself against his hardness and laughed.
He flipped me on my back and settled just above me. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you?”
“Tell me.”
“Since the day I met you. How about you?”
“Well, not that day,” I tease. “I was slightly disgusted by you the first time we met. But, like a fungus, you’ve grown on me.”
He burst out in hysterics and then leaned down and kissed me hard. I never wanted him to stop. But he pushed to his feet and offered me a hand up. “Come on. Let me take you home.”
I pouted and stood. “Party pooper.”
He wrapped one arm around me and led me back to the car. “We’ve got plenty of time. I think we should take it slow.”
For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to take it slow. I didn’t want to be safe.
I wanted to be reckless. And wild.
With Cruz.
Chapter Ten
Cruz
One week. I’d been making out with More Jade for one week. And I couldn’t get enough. I’d never made out with a chick for a week. Hell, I’d never made out with a chick for an hour, if I was being honest. It always went to the next level. But not with this girl. That’s the thing about her—the simple things are so much better than the big things with other people. Studying wasn’t even bad, and I hated studying. But kissing Jade. Unparalleled. I’ve traveled all over the world, I want for nothing, and yet
nothing has come close to being as good as kissing this girl.
She tasted like peaches. It must be her lip gloss, or she used some kickass toothpaste. She made these sweet little sounds that drove me fucking crazy. And she had rules. I’d always hated rules. But not Jade’s rules. I don’t even fucking mind them.
1.No hooking up with anyone else. No fucking problem. I only wanted her, and I’d want to beat the shit out of any dude that dared to touch her.
2.We could make out as often as we wanted, and for as long as we wanted, but nothing more for now. Fucking fine with me. Making out with Jade was better than sex with anyone else. Sure, I wanted more eventually, but I didn’t want to rush her. That’s how fucking crazy I was over this chick. I was happy to put her needs before my own.
3.There was no number three. Because she was fucking adorable and she only had two rules. And they were both doable. For now.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Dex asked when I walked into the studio for practice.
“I’ve been busy. What’s your problem?”
“Don’t ask. He’s been a dick for days. You and Lennon are lucky you’ve been MIA,” Adam said.
I hadn’t been MIA. I slept at the house every night, but I was gone most of the day. I had class, the library, and I liked hanging out with my girl. At the beach. At the library. Hell, I’d hang out with her at a cemetery if she asked me to. We hadn’t had practice in almost a week because Luke was out of town, negotiating on our behalf. And well, we were lazy assholes when he was gone.
“Where have you been?” I asked Lennon.
“Hanging out with Evie. She’s Australian, gorgeous and cool as shit.”
“You two are such wankers. How many pussy whipped rock stars do you know?” Dex snatched his electric guitar and rolled his eyes.
“Shut the fuck up,” I said.
Luke walked in and broke the tension.
“AF Records liked your demo. They asked me to send over a few more things and then they’ll fly out and watch you guys perform. Things are looking good. You’re going to have a guy out here from SKY Records watching you on Friday night. You know Halloween is always a big night for the college crowd. It’s a great night for him to be here. So, let’s put on a great show.”
“Fuck yeah. We need to take our shit on the road before these assholes knock someone up,” Dex said as he slipped on his shoulder strap.
We all ignore him. Our distance was becoming a problem.
“Let’s get our heads out of our asses and get down to business,” Luke said.
“It’s a great opportunity, Cruz,” my art history professor said on my way out of class.
“Yeah, thanks for thinking of me.”
I dropped the brochure in the passenger seat of my car and headed to pick up Jade.
“What’s this?” she asked as she got in the car.
“Nothing. How was class?” I leaned forward and kissed her sweet mouth.
“Fine. I have a ton of homework though.”
She buckled up and I pulled away from the curb, heading to my house. She flipped through the pamphlet even though I told her it wasn’t anything important.
“This is cool. It’s in the Czech Republic?”
“Yep. It’s in Prague.”
“Wow, it looks amazing. Are you thinking of studying abroad?” she asked.
“Nope. My professor recommended the summer program to me.”
“Who? Professor Stein?”
“Yeah,” I said as I pulled into the driveway in front of my house.
“It says here they only accept a few kids a year. He obviously recommended you because he thinks you’d be a good fit. You did get the highest grade on that big project. Why not consider it?”
“I’m in a band, Jade. I can’t just pack up and leave for three months,” I said. I’m irritated and it wasn’t her fault. This was on me. I am at a crossroads in my life, and I wanted to veer one way, but I knew I couldn’t. Not without hurting Lennon. I needed to stay the course.
“You’re in a band, but that doesn’t mean it’s your only passion. Exiled isn’t on tour yet. Don’t you deserve to do what you want sometimes?”
How the hell did she know me so well already? There was a bond between us that I had never shared with anyone before. She always had my back. My best interest in mind. I’d never had a relationship with anyone that looked out for me. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Most of the time, I was more comfortable brooding over my shitty life than trying to make a change. Jade challenged my entire foundation.
“My dad would lose his shit. He doesn’t even want me attending college. Adding a summer program is going to push him over the edge. Lennon will freak out that I’m pulling away from the band. It’s not worth the hassle,” I said, and I meant every word.
“The best things in life aren’t always challenge free. You just have to decide if you want it bad enough to put yourself through it.”
“You sure didn’t come hassle-free, but I’m glad I didn’t give up on you, More Jade,” I said, pulling her closer to me.
“You know you were the reason for that, you stubborn ass.” Her head tipped back, and she laughed. “You must have wanted me pretty bad, then, huh?”
“No doubt about it,” I said, pushing her hair back from her face.
“What else do you want?”
“More Jade.”
She sucked in a strained breath. “Don’t distract me, Winslow. It’s okay to want things for your life. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.”
“What do you want for your life?” I asked her.
“I want to be a doctor. Make an impact in the medical field in whatever way I can. I want to have a family of my own someday. I’d like to be a mom. I want to travel and see new places. I’m not afraid to say what I want. But I understand if you’re afraid to want things.”
I studied her pretty face. Her gaze locked with mine. “Why would I be afraid to want things?”
“Because when you admit what you want, you have something to lose. You can’t lose anything if you don’t care about it, right?”
I leaned forward and kissed her mouth. She was right, but I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Instead I kissed her hard.
“You can’t kiss me every time I have a question that you don’t want to answer,” she said, against my mouth.
“It kind of works though, doesn’t it, ol’ breathless one.”
She punched my arm and laughed. “Tell me three things you want. Really want. I won’t tell anyone, I promise,” she teased. “But I’m not kissing you again until you give me something.”
I leaned back against the driver’s seat. “Three things, huh?”
She climbed across the seat and settled on my lap. The girl was a little spider monkey. She took my face in each of her hands. “Speak. It’s not that hard.”
I thought about it. No one had ever asked me that question, nor had anyone ever cared.
“Well, More Jade is number one.” I laughed, and she rolled her eyes.
“Waiting,” she said.
“I think it would be cool to be a professor and teach art. I’d like to have a family someday. A normal family that lives in the same house and doesn’t just vacation together.”
Her entire face lit up, and her lips turned up at the sides. “Well done, Professor. Was that so difficult?”
“Painfully so,” I said before she leaned forward and kissed me.
The horn sounded, startling us both as her back pressed into the steering wheel. We laughed, but I didn’t miss the heat in her gaze. She climbed off my lap and back into the passenger seat before opening her door to get out. And for just a minute, I wondered what it would be like to keep More Jade forever.
“You better quit smoking, Winslow, or I might actually beat you one of these days,” Adam said as he took
a shot. He missed. Adam was a kickass musician, but basketball was not his thing.
“I could smoke you with a cigarette in my mouth, while blindfolded.” I stole the ball and took a shot. Swoosh. “Two points, sucker.”
He leaned forward to catch his breath and then held up his two hands and made a T to signal a time out. He dropped to sit and lifted his T-shirt to wipe his forehead. The dude sweat like an animal.
“You’re spending a lot of time with Jade, huh? She’s a cool chick. It’s getting serious?”
“I like hanging out with her,” I said.
Adam always had a girlfriend. He was a relationship guy. I’d never understood wanting to be with the same girl over and over, until now.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that. I like her even more now.”
“Did you bring me here to talk about my dating status?” I chugged my water.
“Always such an asshole,” he said with a laugh. Adam and I could always be straight with one another. I trusted him. Always had. “Nah, man. I wanted to see how you feel about talk of Exiled going on tour. It used to feel like a pipe dream, but shit’s getting real.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Steven Winslow never stops pushing. I’m sure his ass is on the phone talking us up non-stop.”
“How would you feel about that? I mean, you were hesitant from the start to do this. But playing locally and going on tour aren’t the same thing.”
“I don’t know. It’s not something I’m looking forward to. I like playing locally and going to school. Making this a full-time thing means leaving school, leaving Chicago—”
“I get it. I want to graduate too. But I can see myself playing music for the rest of my life. Can you?” Adam said.
“Hell no. I’m not even a great singer, dude. I only did it because you and Lennon convinced me to. But fuck, I know what it means to you and I know what it means to Lennon.”
“What about Dex? You don’t think he’s all in?”
“No, I do. I just don’t give a fuck about Dex,” I said, and we both laughed.
“Listen, Cruz. You’re a good guy. You may act like an asshole, but I know who you are. If there comes a point that you want out, you know I’ll support you, right, brother?”
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