A hand wrapped around my wrist and tugged me back. My eyes flew open and I struggled to make out who it was.
“What the hell, Jade,” a familiar voice shouted in my ear.
“Sam?” I pushed against his shoulders and tried to focus, but everything was fuzzy. “What are you doing here?”
“Jesus Christ. I’m getting you out of here. Let’s go.”
I yanked my arm free of Sam’s grasp. “Let go of me. I’m not leaving.”
“The fuck you’re not.” Sam had a firm grip on my wrist and led me away from my friends.
Ari and Mila both called out, and I tried to pry my arm free again. Everything blurred as Gus grabbed Sam from behind. I tried to yell for him to stop, but Sam swung back and before I realized what was happening, Cruz was there. There was a scuffle, and I got knocked down on my ass. I tried to get up, but the room was spinning, and I crawled around on the ground. Ari pulled me to my feet. Gus had Sam in some sort of hold and he was leading him toward the back per Cruz’s insistence. Cruz’s hand found mine, and Ari held on to my other hand as we got pulled through the crowd and down the hallway into the back room. There was shouting and yelling. Sam was so angry.
Cruz turned to face me. “Fuck, Jade. Are you okay?”
Was I? My stomach was twisting, and I felt sick, but aside from too much tequila, I thought I was fine.
“Yes.” The word didn’t even sound like the English language, so I decided not to say anything more.
“What the fuck is your problem?” Sam shouted at Gus.
“You’re my fucking problem. We don’t let girls get dragged out by the arm against their will, asshole.” Gus kept his voice even, and Cruz put his arm on the large man’s shoulder.
“It’s a misunderstanding. He’s family.” Cruz stared at Gus, who finally nodded and left the room.
“Jesus Christ, you’re bleeding,” Cruz said. I looked up to meet his concerned gaze.
Blood dripped down my leg. Cruz grabbed a roll of paper towels and bent down to clean me up.
“What are you even doing here, Jade?” Sam’s voice was so loud it made my head pound.
“Leave her alone. She was having fun and just got a little carried away,” Cruz said.
“This is because of you. Look at her. Do you even know why she drank herself into a fucking comatose state? No, you don’t, do you? Because this is all fun and games to you. You don’t give a fuck about her,” Sam said, and I swore the walls were vibrating now.
“I’m going to be sick,” I whispered, and Ari pulled a trash can in front of me.
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” Cruz argued. But their voices blended together.
“Make them stop, Ari. Please,” I said before I dropped to my knees and heaved into the garbage can. Once I opened the floodgates, there was no holding back. I vomited repeatedly and Ari tried to clean me up each time I paused to catch my breath.
“Did she tell you she hates Halloween? Because her fucking mom died thirteen years ago today. But let me guess, you don’t go that deep. You don’t do the emotional stuff, right? Because you’re too cool for that shit. Well let me tell you something—you’re fucking with the wrong girl.”
I tried to block out the shouting as I continued to puke. The darkness of this day had found me. Just like it always had. Ari rubbed my back. I pulled back and looked down at myself. I was wearing this stupid costume, and I had puke on my hands. And I was sick. I was so sick. There was a paper towel soaked in blood stuck to my shin. Cruz and Sam were arguing, and Ari’s gaze was so sad.
The tears started to fall and there was no stopping them. I sobbed in front of all three of them. And I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything. Grief threatened to swallow me whole, and I wanted it to. I wanted to drown in the heaviness of the day.
“Sam.” I said his name loud enough to cause them to stop yelling. “I want to go home. I want to see Dad.”
He helped me to my feet and pulled on the door, but it was stuck.
“The fucking door is stuck,” Sam said, and he pulled hard on it a couple times before it finally opened.
I didn’t look back or say anything to Cruz or Ari. Sam settled me in the front seat of his car and buckled me in. We didn’t speak on the drive, but the tears continued to fall. I heard him on the phone with my father, and when we pulled up in front of my childhood home, Dad was there.
And it was exactly where I wanted to be.
Chapter Twelve
Cruz
“What are you going to do?” Lennon asked.
To say last night was a shit show would be a massive understatement. I don’t even know what the fuck happened. I knew Jade was drinking too much. Maybe I should have interceded. I didn’t realize she’d had as much to drink as she did. She’s never out of control, and I wasn’t fucking prepared for it. I tried to stop Gus from swinging at Sam because he didn’t know who he was. Sam thought I was fighting him when I dove off the stage and he took a swing at me. It was a disaster. And Jade left with him. Not with me. He knew about her mom. I didn’t. Sam had an eighteen-year advantage with Jade. I couldn’t compete. But I sure as hell wanted to.
“She’s not answering her phone or texts. Her friend Ariana just sent me her address in Bucktown, so I think I’m going to just drive out there and try to talk to her. Shit, I don’t know what else to do.”
“You really like her, huh?” my brother asked.
“Yeah. I do. She’s just good, you know. In every way. I feel bad that I didn’t know about her mom’s passing.”
“You can’t blame yourself for something she didn’t tell you. I think if she knew how much you actually like her, she’d be more likely to tell you what’s going on.”
“Yeah. What happened with the dude from the label?” I asked. After I jumped off the stage and the shit show began, all hell broke loose.
That’s Halloween for you. There were several fights that had to be broken up after Sam and I were dragged to the back room. Some dude hit another guy over the head with a beer bottle and got arrested. Dex jumped into the mix because he loves a good bar fight, and he left with a black eye.
“Apparently he thought we had stage presence, and he liked how we engaged with the crowd,” Lennon said, and we both laughed.
“Jesus. Are you serious? I was afraid I fucked things up.”
“No. You’ve always got my back. And I’ve always got yours. Besides, Luke wants to hold out for AF Records, and I trust him. We don’t need to rush this. You want me to drive with you out to Bucktown?”
“Nah. I’ve got this. Thanks.” I clapped him on the shoulder and reached for my keys.
My palms were sweaty, because I didn’t know what to say to her dad. I wasn’t sure what Sam had told him, or what he’d heard, so I didn’t know if he hated me. But I had to do it. I needed to know what the fuck happened last night.
I knocked on apartment 2D and shoved my hands in my pockets while I waited. The door opened and a tall man with dark hair stood on the other side of the door. He didn’t have Jade’s eyes, but I could tell they were related.
“Hello, Mr. Moore, I’m Cruz Winslow,” I said. I extended my hand to him, and I hoped he missed the tremble in my hand.
He studied me for a minute before reaching out. “Cruz, I’ve heard quite a bit about you.”
I didn’t know what the hell that meant. If it was from Sam, it was bad. If it came from Jade, I assumed it would be better. I think? After last night, I didn’t have a fucking clue.
“Oh yeah.”
“Yes. Relax. Jade likes you, and that’s what matters to me. Sam’s just looking out for her. Don’t let him rattle you.”
I released a long breath I didn’t even realize I’d been holding.
“Well, thank you for not passing judgment. I honestly don’t know what happened last night. I only ju
mped in because I realized the bouncer was going to get rough with Sam. Gus was just looking out for Jade. I think Sam thought I jumped in to fight him.”
“Nah, he figured it out. He actually stuck up for you. The first time he met you I got an ear full. But last night he said he overreacted, and you took control of the situation and got her out of there. I appreciate it. I don’t think you or Sam could have stopped what went down last night. Jade was determined to prove she was okay, and I think she realized it’s not the end of the world if she’s not. Hell, if she needs to grieve every Halloween for the rest of her life, she can. There’s no right or wrong way to lose the people you love, and it’s a bumpy road trying to navigate it. Even all these years later.”
“I can imagine. I know it’s been a long time, but I’m very sorry for your loss,” I said.
Jesus. I was sweating. Her dad was nice but intimidating. Just his appearance. He looked strong, like he could potentially bench press me without a problem. And I wasn’t a small dude.
“Thank you. I’m guessing you came out here to see my girl?” Jack Moore was probably the only guy on the planet who could call Jade his girl without sending me into a jealous rage. I could see how much he adored his daughter.
“Yes, sir.”
He led me down a narrow hallway and knocked on the door before cracking it open. “Jady bug, you have a visitor.”
“I don’t want to talk to Sam. Not right now, Dad. Please.”
“It’s not Sam.” He nodded for me to go in and surprised me when he pulled the door closed to give us some privacy.
“Hey,” I said, moving to sit on the edge of her bed.
She lifted her face from the covers. Her eyes were swollen, her nose red, and she was fucking beautiful.
“Oh my god. You must hate me.” Her voice cracked.
“Why would I hate you?”
She pushed to sit up and used the sleeve of her Chicago fire sweatshirt to swipe at the tears streaming down her face. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know what happened to me last night.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I came here because I was worried about you.”
She shook her head and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Did I mess things up for you? With that guy who came to watch you perform?”
She was sobbing now, and something in my chest tightened.
“No. And I wouldn’t give a shit if you did. But a good fight only makes for a more appealing band,” I said, and put my hand on her cheek. I used my thumb to clear away the moisture that continued to fall down her pretty face.
“I’m so sorry if I embarrassed you. I can’t believe what a mess I was. I literally hate Halloween. Forever,” she said, but it came out as more of a croak.
“That’s fine. I don’t give a shit about Halloween. But you should have told me about your mom. I would have been there for you.”
“I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me. And I don’t really know where we stand or what we are. So I didn’t think it was fair to dump my baggage on you. I just wanted a normal Halloween.”
“Don’t I always tell you I want more Jade? That includes the baggage. I love me some Jade baggage,” I said with a laugh, and she finally smiled.
“Okay.”
“And as far as where we stand, I don’t know what kind of title you want to put on it, but I want to be with you. Only you. I like you so fucking much it scares the shit out of me. I can’t stay away from you. I want to be with you. All the fucking time.”
Her gaze met mine. “Really?”
I laughed. “Really.”
She pushed back the blankets and climbed in my lap. Her hands tangled in my hair, and I pulled her even closer. Her face settled in the crook of my neck and I wrapped my arms around her. We sat like that for a few minutes in silence. It was the most intimate thing I’d ever done, and I’d had my fair share of sex. This was more personal. I liked it.
“So since we’re making this official, that means telling me when something’s bothering you.” I stroked her hair.
“That goes both ways,” she said.
“Fine with me. I told you about my fucked-up family and you didn’t run.”
She pushed up to look at me. “I just realized—you met my dad.”
“I did. He’s a nice guy.”
She covered her mouth with her hand and moved to her feet. “I need to brush my teeth. I must smell like puke.”
I laughed. “You smell good to me.”
She opened her bedroom door and walked out in the hallway toward the bathroom. Her room was small, but quaint. Dark wood covered the floors. Her furniture was white, and there were white blinds hanging on the window. Her bedding was light gray and pink, and it smelled like Jade. Peaches and coconut. There was a model of the human body on her desk, and a light in the shape of Saturn hung on the wall. She was such a science nerd. I loved it. When she returned, her hair was piled on top of her head, and her face was scrubbed clean.
“You want to go to breakfast with me and Dad?”
“Sure,” I said, pushing to my feet.
It was a short walk over to their favorite coffee shop. The wind bustled but the sun was out, making it tolerable. I liked seeing Jade and her father together. They laughed, and talked, and it was all very normal. Jack Moore adored his daughter. He was a good guy. Protective but fair. They bantered back and forth with such ease. I realized how non-traditional my family was. We’d never go have a casual breakfast and catch up. The Winslows didn’t do coffee shops. Or unplanned family meals.
“So, did we learn anything about doing shots of tequila?” Her father gave her a firm look and waited for an answer once we were seated at a booth in the back.
“We learned that we don’t like tequila. In fact, if I never see it again, it’ll be too soon.”
“And what did we learn about putting ourselves in vulnerable positions? If Cruz or Sam hadn’t been there, things could have ended differently,” Jack said. His tone was stern, and he didn’t hide the concern in his gaze. It was all so foreign to me that I just sat back and took it in. She was his whole world. He loved her. Probably the way a parent should love their child, but it was unfamiliar to me. That kind of worry or care from a parent.
“Well, if Sam hadn’t been there, we wouldn’t have put on such a horrifying show,” she said.
“Don’t put this on him. He went there because I told Uncle Jimmy that I was worried about you. If I’d shown up, it would have been all the more embarrassing. Don’t blame him, Jade. If you hadn’t been three sheets to the wind, he wouldn’t have had to drag you out of there.”
Jesus. These two were so logical. No big blow-ups. Just straight shooters. My father had never talked to me like this. We only talked about the band. About money. About stuff. Not life.
“I know. I’m sure he’s mad at me. I’ll call him tonight and apologize.” She gave her father a tender look, and he was putty in her hands.
“There you go, Jady bug. So Cruz, tell me about you. You grew up here in Chicago?”
“Yes, I grew up in Glencoe.” I didn’t like talking about my family, but I wanted to be respectful.
“And you’re a junior? What are you studying?”
“Yep. I’m studying Art History.”
The waitress set our plates down, and we dug in. The place was buzzing with people. Clearly we came at the right time to this local hot spot. The line extended out the door now.
“Nice. So is the band a hobby or something you want to take further?”
Isn’t that the million-dollar question.
“I honestly don’t know. If it were only me in the equation, it would be a hobby. But my brother is the one who started Exiled. He’s a very talented guitarist, and he wants to take it the whole nine yards. So, I’m just kind of letting things play out. My dad is pushing for us to sign with a label and that would
definitely mean I’d have to leave school and go on tour.”
Jade leaned into me almost like she sensed my discomfort. I liked it.
“Your father is Steven Winslow?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“I’ve seen a few of his movies. Talented guy,” he said.
“He’s very good at his job.” I’d leave it at that.
“I was telling Cruz about how fun our Thanksgivings are. I think he and Lennon should join us if they stay in town this year,” Jade said, changing the subject because she knew me well.
“You’re both welcome to join us. We have a good crew that comes every year. This one makes a mean turkey, and her stuffing is out of this world.” He flicked his thumb at his daughter.
The rest of breakfast was small talk and laughter. No tension. No animosity. And I liked it more than I ever would have guessed.
“Come on, tell me that’s not the best ice cream you’ve ever had?” Jade said, licking the top of her double decker cone. Sprinkles were falling on her sweatshirt and on the ground and she just kept trying to catch them with her tongue.
“It’s damn good.”
“Yours is plain. You didn’t do any candy or sprinkles on it. Mine is so much better,” she said.
I leaned forward and licked the side of her cone, chomping on a mouthful of sprinkles. She waited patiently for my review.
“I don’t know,” I teased her.
“What do you mean?” She threw her hands in the air. “Mine is definitely better.”
“Yours is busy. You’ve got two flavors going and it’s crunchy and messy. My cone is no nonsense. Just good fucking ice cream.”
She leaned forward and licked the top of my cone. Her nose scrunched and she shook her head. “You’re crazy. Mine is so much better.”
I just smiled. If I’d known dating Jade would be this great, I’d have tried to make this happen much sooner.
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