Tory hit her fist against the white wood. “Hey, someone open the damn door.”
The door swung open and Luke smiled and said, “We can’t have the three biggest fans of Exiled locked in the back room now, can we?”
I gave him a quick hug and hurried to the bathroom. I was doubled over on the toilet and thankful to have access to a private stall. My forehead was sweaty, and I leaned forward to rest my head in my hands. There was no reason to be on the toilet. I didn’t have to go to the bathroom. I just needed to sit down and let these cramps run their course. I thought about Tory’s words and tried to remember if I was due for my period. The last time I’d had it was the week before Valentine’s Day. It was April tenth. I’d missed two cycles.
Oh, god.
Oh, god.
Oh, god.
It wasn’t possible. Cruz and I were always safe. I was only nineteen years old. I’d only had sex with one person. Safe sex. No. I couldn’t be pregnant, could I? I poked the sides of my breasts because I remembered seeing someone do that on TV. Maybe they were a little tender, I couldn’t tell. I stood up and flushed the empty toilet and hurried to the sink. I put a paper towel under the running water and wrung it out before putting the damp towel on my forehead and trying to calm my breathing. I was freaking out.
You’re overthinking this.
I’d been so stressed. People missed their periods all the time due to stress, right? I googled the question when Ari knocked on the door.
“You okay, girl?”
I glanced at my phone and saw tons of websites pull up for missed periods due to stress. Phew. I slipped my phone in my back pocket and opened the door with a smile.
“All better.”
“Good, they just started. Let’s get out there,” Tory said.
With one hand tucked in Tory’s and one clinging to Ariana’s, we made our way through the crowd. The bouncer helped us get to the front, and the energy was palpable. The crowd was amped, and the band responded to it. Lights were flashing, and the music blared. I search behind me to try to see if I could find the guy from AF Records. I knew he was in his thirties, so in this crowd, he should stand out. I couldn’t see much over the bouncing heads dancing in the mosh pit. The place was going off. Beyond anything I’d ever experienced here before. The song stopped and the crowd settled.
My gaze locked with Cruz’s, and I relaxed. He smiled and his honey-brown gaze never left mine when he spoke. “So we have something new that we want to share with you tonight. I wrote this for the girl I love. It’s called ‘More of Me.’”
People screamed and cheered. Some girl yelled out, “Love me, Winslow.”
Tory, Ari, and I all laughed, and I turned my attention to the stage. It was a slower ballad, I could tell by the music. Cruz pulled up a stool and dropped down to sit. I’d never seen him sit when he performed. His beautiful voice started singing and the words would forever be etched into my soul.
“The dark of the storm is all I see.
And like a dream she comes to me.
Now my world is upside down.
Makes no sense keeps spinning round.
When it stops she surrounds me.
In her light I finally see.
And she asks me…
Why would you want more of me?
She doesn’t know just what I see.
Beautiful girl with eyes of jade.
Shines so bright can’t find the shade.
Heart so pure even in her pain.
In the drought she is the rain.
Wasn’t looking but I found her.
I’m the sickness she’s the cure.
I’ll drown us both in the waves.
She’s the only one I want to save.
Makes no sense why she’s with me.
Beautiful girl with lots of dreams.
And she asks me…
Why would you want more of me?
She doesn’t know just what I see.
Beautiful girl with eyes of jade.
Shines so bright can’t find the shade.
Heart so pure even in her pain.
In the drought she is the rain.”
He sang it slow, and sultry, and sexy. Tears streamed down my face as I stared at the beautiful boy in front of me. He winked and I wanted to pounce on the stage and kiss him senseless. He wrote me the most beautiful song I’d ever heard.
Ari’s fingers grasped my hand so tight I laughed when I met her glossy gaze. She was crying too.
“That was beautiful. I want Jace to be in a band and write me love songs,” she said with a laugh.
“Girl. Adam better start writing songs right now. That boy loves you something silly,” Tory said.
I mouthed the words I love you to Cruz before we headed to the bar for more drinks. My stomach started to twist and turn again, and I ordered a water. We stood off in the corner and tried to cool off.
“Jade, you look pale. Are you okay?” Ari asked.
I dabbed my face with a napkin. I was freaking hot. The sharpest cramp nailed me right in the center of my stomach, and I leaned forward.
“I really don’t feel well. I think I might have eaten something bad. My stomach hurts so bad,” I said, grasping the back of a barstool for balance. The guy sitting on it turned around and smiled. I nodded in apology.
“Let’s find you a chair,” Tory said as the band broke out in another song.
She pushed on her tiptoes to see, just as Jace joined us in the back corner.
“What’s going on, beautiful?” He kissed Ari’s cheek and a pink hue covered her pretty face.
“Just taking a break. Jade may have food poisoning. She’s not feeling well,” Ari said, searching for an empty chair.
“You know what, guys—I’m going to just go in the back room and wait there for a little bit. There’s a couch and I can lie down and see if it passes. I’ll come find you if I’m feeling better. Go have fun.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Ari asked.
“No. I’m fine. Promise,” I said, and leaned forward to hug her.
“Okay, text us if you need anything.”
I agreed, even though I glanced down at my phone and noticed I was at one percent and it was about to die. I didn’t want them to worry. I just needed a few minutes to sit down away from this crowd. I’d drink some water and be good to go.
I stopped in the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. I bent over the sink when another cramp hit me hard. Jesus. Maybe this is what happened when you skipped a period. You got the mother load the next month. I made my way to the back room, shut the door and grabbed a bottle of water from the mini fridge. Dropping down on the couch, I pulled my knees up and tried to breathe. I’d never experienced stomach pain like this. I grabbed my phone and googled the symptoms of appendicitis. Everything pointed to the right side, and this pain was definitely not favoring any side of my stomach. I googled the symptoms of food poisoning, but my phone died, so I set it on the floor and hugged my knees to my chest and waited for the pain to pass. In the brief reprieve, I calmed my breathing and closed my eyes. Cruz would be done in a half an hour, and I could go to his place and soak in a hot tub with him. Thoughts of warm water and my boyfriend’s arms around me allowed me to drift away.
A piercing noise startled me, and I sprung to my feet. The lights were off and I swore I fell asleep with the lights on. I heard distant shouting outside the door, and there was some sort of high-pitched alarm torturing my ears. I was so disoriented, and the room was all fuzzy. Was I dreaming? I blinked a couple times and focused my eyes around the small space. It was hazy. Smoky.
Smoky.
Filling with smoke.
Smoke alarms were going off.
I learned the rules of fire safety before most people learned their ABCs. But I’d never been in an actua
l fire. My father had described them to me hundreds of times. I’d had nightmares about fires. Watched movies about fires. Read articles about fires. But nothing really prepared you for an actual fire. Nothing. And I was in the midst of one.
I reached for my phone and remembered it was dead. I rushed to the door, holding my hand just a few inches away from it, something I’d learned at a young age. Heat vibrated from the wood, and smoke bellowed from the crack between the floor and the door. I knew better than to open it. I found two jackets and shoved them in the opening where the smoke continued to flow from beneath the door. There was a towel lying on the end table and I wrapped it around my nose and mouth and made a makeshift mask, tying it at the back of my head.
I searched the room. How had I never noticed that there were no windows in this room? It was an oversized closet and there was no way out. I knew the only way I was getting out of here was through that door. The fire was close, but it wasn’t here yet, or the door would be in flames.
Think, Jade.
I ran to the mini refrigerator and grabbed a few bottles of water. Cruz’s army jacket hung on a hook and I dumped two bottles of water all over it as fast as I could. Time was not on my side. I needed to move.
Move.
Fire spreads fast.
Act.
I tightened the towel around my face and found a T-shirt lying on the floor in the corner of the room and soaked it with water. I wrapped the wet shirt around the doorknob to cool it off and twisted. And pulled. And pulled harder.
The door was stuck.
It was fucking stuck.
Panic set in. I was trapped in this little room and I couldn’t get out. Ari and Tory knew where I was, but I had no idea if they realized I was still in here. I didn’t know what time it was or when the fire started. I didn’t know where Cruz was, but I knew he’d look for me. I heard shouting in the distance and I pulled harder, but the door wouldn’t move.
“Help,” I screamed as loud as I could.
My voice was not recognizable. It was raspy and hoarse. How much smoke had I taken in.
I pounded my fists against the door and shouted. The hot wood burned against my skin. A sharp pain hit my middle but I continued to bang my fists against the door. I was going to die in here if I didn’t get out now. I had no choice. I couldn’t see as the room had filled with smoke, and my eyes burned despite the fact that tears were pouring from them.
I didn’t hear the shouting anymore. I was alone. I was going to die alone.
Dad.
Cruz.
I dropped the T-shirt and tightened my grip on the handle. My skin sizzled, but I had a tighter grip on the handle. I pulled as hard as I could, but the door didn’t budge.
“Someone help me.” My screams were useless. No one was here. It was just me.
I backed away from the door and ran, throwing my body into it, as I cried and screamed for help. The door wouldn’t budge. I remembered Dad telling me about left-and-right-hand-search patterns, and I searched every direction, including the ceiling, but I didn’t see another way out. There was nothing.
No way out.
I lie down on the ground when I started coughing and couldn’t stop. I pulled the coats from the bottom of the door, allowing a heap of smoke in and screamed through the crack. I shouted multiple times, “Help me.”
What felt like a punch in the gut hit me in my middle and I moved away to escape the smoke and curled into a ball, wrapping myself in the soaked jacket. Sobs sounded between my coughs and I squeezed my eyes closed for a reprieve from the smoke.
The door opened and the wood splintered and shattered all around me. I squinted and moved to my feet. My boyfriend was covered in soot, his gaze wild and manic, and he hurried across the room. We didn’t speak. My sobs were the only audible sound as he pulled me beside him and rushed me toward the door.
“We have to go now. There’s a door at the end of the hall. Get down on all fours and keep your head down. Stay in front of me.”
His hand was on my back, the most excruciating pain radiated across my middle, and tears filled my eyes. I glanced over my shoulder. The other end of the hallway was illuminated by a blazing fire that we were running from. It was getting closer.
“Baby, come on. You can do this,” Cruz shouted, pressing his hand into my lower back and urging me to go faster.
There was a voice coming from a few feet ahead and two arms pulled me to my feet just as cool, crisp air enveloped me. My lungs begged for air. I gasped and bent forward, placing my hands on my knees, and coughed until I vomited. I couldn’t stop. Cruz was coughing beside me when a blanket came around my shoulders.
“Jade. Cruz. Are you okay? I need help over here,” someone shouted beside me and I recognized her voice, but it was more frantic than I’d ever heard it before. Sara. Dad must have called her. She lived closer.
I was crying and vomiting when Sara directed someone to assess Cruz. I wiped my mouth and my gaze scanned his body through my tear-filled vision. He was coughing, and talking, and calling out for me—but Sara walked me in the opposite direction.
She turned me to face her and shook my shoulders a little. “Are you okay?”
“I think so,” I said through my cough.
“Jade. Look at me. Your dad is going to be here in a few minutes. Cruz is over there and he’s going to be fine. The back of your jeans are soaked in blood sweetie. Are you hurt or is it something else?”
I couldn’t speak. I thought about the cramping. The late period.
Oh my god.
“I’m late and I’ve had terrible stomach pain today. I don’t know how this happened. Please don’t tell Dad or Cruz. Please, Sara,” I begged before leaning forward and vomiting.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Cruz
“Where the fuck is Jade?” I asked, dropping the blanket someone had wrapped around me on the ground and scanning the shit show before me. Firetrucks, ambulances, paramedics and police cars were scattered everywhere I looked. Half the building was up in flames, and multiple hoses were aimed at it in an attempt to extinguish the fire. Dark smoke billowed from the broken windows.
“She’s getting checked out,” Lennon said, and I looked up to see his tear-streaked face.
“Are you hurt?” I asked.
“No, asshole. We all got out. You’re the one who ran back into a fucking burning building and scared the shit out of us,” he said. His voice was loud, and it cracked on a sob.
“He’s okay, Lennon,” Luke said as he and Adam flanked each side of me.
Yeah, I ran into a burning building when I found Ari and Tory and they told me Jade was still inside. Fire trucks hadn’t arrived yet, and I wasn’t about to leave her in there. Motherfuckers didn’t have sprinklers at The Dive and the place went up in flames like something you’d see in a movie.
“Dude, I can’t believe you ran back inside,” my best friend said.
I sure as shit did. When the words left Ari’s mouth, I didn’t have a choice. None. The thought of dying trying to save Jade was better than the thought of living without her.
I wouldn’t.
“Cruz.” Jack Moore’s voice sent chills down my spine. Maybe it was the sound of a man fearful that he’d lost the person he loved most in this world. I could relate.
“She’s okay, Jack. She’s with Sara.” I leaned over and coughed hard again.
He put his hand on my back. “You okay? Were you with her?”
I couldn’t speak as my throat constricted with spasms and I heard Luke fill him in. He told Jack I’d gone back in to find his daughter. He made me out to be some sort of fucking hero. But I knew better. Jade was here for me. She never would have been here if not for me. She didn’t go out much, but she’d come to support me, and she could have died. At nineteen years old. I brought her to this piece of shit bar, where it wasn’t safe, and
she’d nearly died.
“Jack.” Sara walked toward us.
The dark sky was illuminated by flashing lights, resembling a cross between a rave and a crime scene. But I saw the concern in Sara’s gaze as the reds and blues spotlighted her face. I pushed to stand.
“Where is she?” I said through my cough.
“She’s okay. I promise. Listen, she inhaled a lot of smoke. She’s going to be fine. But I’m going to ride over to the hospital with her. She wanted me to make sure you two were together,” Sara said.
“Take me to her.” Jack Moore’s tone was frantic and angry.
“How long have we worked together? I’m asking you to trust me. She’s going to be fine. She’s upset and scared. You two getting all worked up is not going to help the situation. Get Cruz checked out. Help out here, and I’ll call you in an hour. I’m just going to take her over to County and have my dad check her out.”
“Jesus, Sara. You want to take my kid to the hospital, and you don’t want me to see her?” Jack said.
I leaned over and vomited again. What in the actual fuck? I couldn’t stop puking.
“Yes. And your daughter won’t forgive you if you don’t help Cruz right now. You’re needed here. I’ve got her. I promise.” Sara handed him a bottle of water. “Get him to drink this, and I’ll call you in an hour.”
The next hour and a half was a blur. I learned that Sara’s father was an ER doctor, and Jack stayed with me until a paramedic checked me out and cleared me. Most of the building was charred, but there were no fatalities, thank God. I thought of my girl and a sick feeling settled in my stomach. I could still see her huddled in the corner, wrapped in my jacket in a room filled with smoke. She’d covered her mouth and nose. She’d done everything right. But she’d been locked in a room with no way out, and it was a struggle to tamper down my anger.
I sat on the bumper of my car watching the chaos play out. Jack moved around the scene like a fine-tuned machine, jumping in to help where he could. The bleak surroundings were hard to take in. College students covered in soot, coughing and crying. People running to one another when they found their loved ones. Parents racing to the scene in hysterics searching for their children. It was heavy. And all I fucking wanted was to see Jade. I doubted she had a phone as I’d called it a couple hundred times and it went straight to voicemail. My phone was blowing up with texts from friends and family. My mom wanted to know if we were okay, my dad wanted to make sure the dude from AF Records had seen the show, and then asked if we all made it out okay.
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