“And then?”
She let out her breath in a long sigh. “Do you know who Hannah Beckett is?” she asked.
Lucas exchanged a glance with Diana and then shrugged. “I went into the War Department in 1803. I was out of the loop with most of my friends for a long time, until Diana brought me home to them. I don’t recognize the name.”
“Sit down,” Sarah said. “It’s a long story, I think.”
They all sat, and Sarah told them what she knew about the past and what had happened that day before their return. Both of them sat silent through her recitation, not even asking for clarification. Once she had sunk back on the settee in emotional exhaustion, they looked at each other.
“She’s come back now,” Lucas said to Diana, not to Sarah. “You think it truly is just because of the duke’s death?”
“No,” Diana responded softly. “Kit said desperation. She’s out of money or in trouble, I would wager. Something else is driving her.”
They faced Sarah together and Lucas said, “Does Kit truly think she would harm Phoebe?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But after just spending a quarter of an hour with the woman, my skin crawled from her cruelty and disregard for her own child. I don’t know how far she would go, but I also don’t think she cares about creating damage on some level if it gets her what she wants.”
Lucas frowned. “Stalwood?” he said softly.
Sarah didn’t know what that name meant, but Diana seemed to, for she nodded. “He could bring resources to bear. Investigate. Should we head for London now instead of wait until tomorrow as we planned?”
“I’m not sure,” Lucas said. “I’d want to talk to Kit. He might need us here instead. I could send fast riders to London before we could reach there with a carriage, at any rate. Get Stalwood started for us.”
Before Sarah could ask for clarification, the door opened again and Kit reentered the room. His face was drawn, pale. Sarah stood up and came toward him.
“She’s asleep?” she asked softly.
He nodded. “Despite telling me five times that she was not tired, too old for naps and that she needed a higher fire, then a lower fire.”
Sarah laughed. “That sounds familiar.” She took his hand and held it a moment, wishing she could transfer any strength she had to him. “I-I told Diana and Lucas,” she said, glancing over at the couple, who smiled gently at them. “And now I think I shall let you talk to them yourself. I’ll go…I’ll just go make sure she’s…safe.”
He held her gaze for a long moment before he said, “Thank you.”
She nodded and slipped away, feeling utterly helpless and completely unsure of her place with him.
Kit sank into the settee Sarah had abandoned when he entered the room and stared across at his two friends. He was just as happy not to have to retell the terrible exchange with Hannah Beckett. He only wished he could stop reliving it in his own mind.
“What is the danger?” Lucas asked. “How far is this woman willing to go?”
Kit scrubbed a hand over his face. His gut reaction was to focus entirely on the deepest terror. But that would serve no one. He had to be clearer. More rational if he expected his friends to help.
He sighed. “I don’t think she would hurt Phoebe physically,” he admitted. “But Hannah Beckett will protect herself at all costs.”
Diana nodded slowly. “Sarah explained some of it, but you’ve seen it before, yes? When she broke with your father?”
Kit pursed his lips. “It was an utter nightmare. She was willing to hide her child from him, to threaten to give Phoebe away where she’d never be found to get what she wanted.”
“Which was money,” Lucas said as he got up and paced away restlessly.
“Yes. And she sees this as a way to get more,” Kit said. “It’s an opportunity and she is an opportunist.”
Diana leaned forward, and her beautiful face was soft with empathy. “You’re afraid,” she said. “I see that and I understand that. But you must know you aren’t alone in this. We’re all going to protect her.”
“You two had plans to depart tomorrow,” Kit said. “You cannot take this on.”
“Like hell we can’t,” Lucas said sharply. “There may be a physical threat, so Diana and I will do better to stay here and help you face that. In the meantime, I’ll send a message to my old contacts in London to begin an investigation into this woman.”
Kit’s lips parted as he stared in wonder at his friends. “You would use your War Department resources for me?”
“Of course,” Diana said with a wave of her hand that made it feel like this wasn’t the extraordinary act of friendship that it was.
Relief rushed through Kit at the idea that they would make such an offer. “Thank you,” he whispered. Then he leaned back and looked from one to the other. “Tell me something. Are you two still spies?”
Diana grinned and winked at Lucas. He also smiled. “I’m sorry, Kit. That’s a classified matter.”
Kit shook his head. “Let me know what you need from me. I can provide all the information I have. And my father’s journals are in the library. We can find the ones from the years surrounding his affair with Hannah.”
“Good,” Lucas said. “We’ll start there. I’m sure there will be information to mine from those. And I’ll let you know what else we need.”
Diana pushed to her feet and Kit followed. She stepped toward him. “May I offer you some advice?”
He nodded. “Of course. I welcome anything you have to say, considering your experience.”
She glanced over her shoulder at Lucas before she said, “Let Sarah help,” she said softly. “She loves that child. And she cares deeply about you.”
He frowned. He hadn’t talked to Diana and Lucas about his intentions that morning, just that he needed time alone with Sarah.
“Protect each other,” Lucas added.
Kit sighed and then nodded. “I know you’re right. And I know what I have to do.”
“Good,” Diana said before she turned to Lucas. “Now come along, my love. We have some journals to find.”
The two of them linked arms and left the parlor together. Kit followed them out, and turned toward the stairs that led to the family quarters above. When he moved to his sister’s room, he was surprised to find Sarah sitting on the floor in the hallway at the nursery door. Her teary stare was faraway and troubled, and she worried her hands in her lap mindlessly.
He moved toward her, keenly aware of when she snapped out of her reverie and noticed him. Her eyes went wide, but she didn’t get up. So he sat down beside her, placed his back against the wall and let out his breath gently.
“It’s been a long day,” he said.
She nodded and wiped at her tears swiftly. “And it’s not even tea time.”
They were quiet for a moment. Not an uncomfortable silence, or one where he felt separated from her. On the contrary, it was as if they needed no words. That he knew her emotions because they mirrored his own. And that was more reassuring than anything she could have said or done.
All his nervousness from earlier faded, replaced by a calm that allowed him to know exactly what to do and say next.
He turned toward her. “She needs us both.”
“Yes,” she said. “She does.”
“Marry me.”
Chapter Twenty
If Sarah hadn’t already been sitting on the floor, she would have fallen over as that simple statement fell from Kit’s lips. Not a question, but a statement. Marry me. Two words, and yet she felt like they had flipped her over on her head.
“You…I…” She shook her head. “I don’t understand, Kit.”
He reached out and took her hand. His fingers traced over the webbing between her forefinger and thumb as he said, “Marry me. Please. This situation with Hannah could stretch on for a very long time. She dragged it out with my father for months, hiding my sister from him. W
e can protect her better if we are man and wife. We’ll have more options.”
She nodded slowly, to indicate she understood, for he seemed to need her to show him that she did.
“Phoebe loves you, Sarah. And you can’t deny that we have a…” He hesitated, and she found herself leaning forward, praying for him to say the words she so needed to hear in this charged moment. “We have a connection.”
She fell back against the wall, trying not to allow disappointment to overtake her. Yes, they had a connection. And they would use it for Phoebe. That’s what he wanted, not anything more. It wasn’t what she hoped for when she’d dreamed of a proposal in those girlish days before she had experienced loss and disappointment.
Before she’d wanted love from this man so much that it rocked her to her very core.
She pushed it aside. What he offered was the life she wanted. Not perfect, perhaps, but she would be with him. She would be with Phoebe. No one could take either one of them away from her.
“Yes,” she said softly.
Relief flowed over his features and he rested his head against the wall for a moment before he nodded. “Good. Very good. I’ll arrange a special license as soon as possible. And we’ll want to tell Phoebe.”
He got to his feet, then held out a hand for her. She took it, her skin tingling as he tugged her to her feet. She stumbled forward, into his arms, and they stood together in the hallway, bodies locked. His smile widened and she returned it.
He dipped his head and his mouth was on hers. She opened to him, pushing aside her doubts, her fears, her disappointments. She would marry him. They would be together.
And that would be enough. It had to be.
Kit smiled as Phoebe came into the parlor, her hand in Sarah’s. She looked rested after her nap and completely oblivious to both the drama about her mother and the news about to be shared with her and with Diana and Lucas.
Sarah brought Phoebe to the settee, where she settled herself in next to Kit. Then Sarah took a place beside her and he drew in a deep breath. “Did you sleep well, poppin? All happy dreams?”
Phoebe nodded.
“Good,” he said, and glanced toward his friends. Diana’s brow was wrinkled and she was staring between Kit and Sarah with concern lighting her pretty face.
He ignored it. “I have some news, Phoebe, that I think will make you very happy.”
“News?” Lucas repeated. “What news?”
Kit glanced over at Sarah and she nodded slowly. He cleared his throat. “Sarah has agreed to marry me.”
There was a stunned silence from all parties in the room. Diana’s lips parted in shock and Lucas flinched. As for Phoebe, she stared up at Kit and then she smiled. A wide, happy grin that lit up her face before she spun to Sarah.
“Marry Kit?” she squealed.
Sarah laughed, though Kit noted her eyes were not quite so happy. “Yes, darling. I hope that is all right with you.”
Phoebe had begun to dance and she squealed again. “Yes, oh yes!” She turned back to Kit. “I knew it. I knew you would love her. And now we will be a proper family. She like the mama, and you the papa.”
Kit stomach rolled. “You know I would never try to take the place of Papa.”
She nodded. “A different kind, though. Oh, Sarah, I’m so excited!”
Phoebe flung herself at Sarah, who caught her with a laugh. She cuddled the little girl into her arms, and Phoebe sank her head onto Sarah’s shoulder. As Sarah held her, her gaze slipped to Kit and they held eyes.
This wasn’t how he’d imagined asking her to marry him. Not that he’d done a better job at his first attempt earlier in the day. But here they were. And once this threat to Phoebe had been dealt with, he could focus some time on growing closer to the woman who would now be his wife.
On nurturing their bond in the hopes that it could deepen and grow. That was what he wanted, after all. What she deserved.
“When is this happening?” Lucas said, his tone tight.
Kit glared at him. “Considering the changes to our circumstances today, I thought it would be best to marry right away. I intend to visit the magistrate immediately. I had hoped you would accompany me.”
“If the magistrate can be…convinced,” Lucas said softly. “It would be, what? A day or two?”
“Yes,” he said, glancing at Sarah. Her cheeks were bright with color and she seemed to be intently focused on a strand of auburn hair that had come loose from Phoebe’s ribbon.
Lucas nodded slowly, then got up. “Certainly I will be happy to join you,” he said. “Shall we call for the horses?”
He leaned in and pressed a brief kiss to Diana’s mouth, then began to exit the room, but not before he placed a hand on Sarah’s shoulder. “We are very pleased for you, Sarah,” he said. “I hope it will be a happy union.”
“Thank you, Your Grace,” Sarah said, her voice barely carrying.
Lucas stepped from the room with Kit behind him. Kit held his tongue as they waited for the horses to be brought round. It was only when they were headed down the long drive toward the gate that he glared at his friend.
“What was that?” he snapped.
“I could ask you the same thing,” Lucas retorted without looking at him. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“The right thing for everyone,” Kit explained in exasperation. “You said to let Sarah help. Well, if we are married, she will be in the best position to do so. And my sister is overjoyed.”
Lucas shook his head. “You could have left her as governess if those are your reasons to wed her. You should have, for this cannot end well.”
Kit gripped the reins harder and stared straight ahead. “I had already intended to ask her to be my wife,” he admitted. “Today before this mess with Hannah began.”
Lucas jerked his gaze toward him. “That was why you asked Diana and I to take your sister for a walk and a picnic?”
Kit nodded. “I wanted time alone to propose. I had no thought to rush the time table like this, but it was my intention to marry her then.”
“For what reasons?” Lucas asked.
Kit shifted in his saddle. “Because I am attracted to her,” he said. “Enough that I have behaved imprudently. Because it seems I have wanted her for far longer than I even knew. And I…I like her. I like being around her. I like having her to lean on and I hope that I can offer the same support to her.”
“And did you tell her all that when you spoke to her this morning? Or when you asked her to be your wife some point between when we parted ways and when you made your announcement?”
Kit opened his mouth and then shut it again. “This morning I admit I struggled. I couldn’t find the right words—she didn’t even know what I was trying to say.”
“That’s an auspicious beginning,” Lucas muttered.
“As for later—” Kit shifted again as more and more discomfort washed over him. “Well, I must think of my sister right now. Things with Sarah will work themselves out. We’ll be married and have all our lives to explain what we want and how we feel.”
Lucas shook his head. “You know that isn’t true. Even more now than before, since you watched that young woman die already.”
Kit recoiled at the harsh fact, thrown in his face by one of his best friends. A man who had given Sarah back to him with the breath of life.
“I’m just starting to understand my heart myself,” he said. “And it’s a distraction right now that could endanger Phoebe. I will talk to Sarah. I will give her everything she deserves. But not right now. Not when I will only be half-present. Only half hers.”
Lucas was quiet, and Kit could see he was mulling over that statement. Then he nodded. “Just don’t let your fears destroy the happiness it’s clear you could share with her.”
Kit sighed. “I’m trying, my friend. I’m trying.”
“It seems I am destined to be borrowing dresses from the duchesses forever,” Sarah
said as she stood in front of the mirror in the gown Diana had insisted she try on. It was a lovely pale gray silk, suitable for a wedding performed during a mourning period, but with a few pretty pink highlights that gave it a joyful burst of color.
And yet, as Sarah stared at herself, she did not feel joyful. She felt…numb.
“First, you shall soon be a duchess yourself, and as soon as this nonsense with Phoebe’s…” Diana glanced over her shoulder into her dressing room, where Phoebe had become distracted performing a wedding with her dolls. She whispered, “Phoebe’s mother is resolved, you will not have to borrow anything. I’m sure Kit will provide well for you.”
Sarah had no doubt that would be true. Kit was too honorable a man to do anything but provide well for his wife and any family they had in the future. Only as time went by, as the threat to Phoebe was finally resolved, she feared he would resent this decision made in desperation. When passions faded, both those emotional and physical, he might not want her anymore.
“He doesn’t love me,” she said out loud, though quietly so Phoebe wouldn’t hear.
Diana stopped fussing with her hem and straightened to look at her in the reflection of the mirror. “Kit?”
Sarah nodded, and the tears filled her eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time in this emotional, difficult day.
Diana hugged her gently. “It must hurt to believe that is true.”
Sarah wiped her tears with a shake of her head. “It is true. He wants me, there is no doubt about that. He likes me, despite the person I am or he once believed me to be. But he doesn’t love me.”
Diana was quiet a moment, then motioned Sarah to the chairs before the fire. When she sat, there was a quiet sadness to her that Sarah had never seen in her before. Diana’s own eyes filled with tears. “You know, I once thought that of Lucas, too. That he didn’t love me. That he couldn’t. It was one of the worst times of my life. I almost gave up on him entirely.”
Sarah’s lips parted. “But it is evident that he does love you.”
“To distraction,” Diana agreed with a tiny smile. “But I couldn’t see it at the time. Others sensed it more. The same is true with you, though I know my saying that won’t change your feelings.”
The Last Duke (The 1797 Club Book 10) Page 19