by John Corr
EIGHTEEN
Zack had been quiet through most of the conversation. Now he had something to say.
“But that doesn’t make sense,” Zack said to Wafaa. “You can’t say judo didn’t want you. Maybe the people who make the rules were trying to keep you out, but your sensei was trying to keep you in! You just said he wanted to fight for you!”
Wafaa rolled her eyes and shrugged. “It’s complicated,” she said.
Zack copied her shrug. “No,” he argued. “It’s simple! You either quit or you don’t! And you quit! And I don’t get that! What happened wasn’t fair. But you’re no quitter. Was it your parents?” I didn’t know what he meant by that.
“What do you mean?” asked Wafaa quietly. I could tell she was getting mad at Zack now.
“They have no right to force you to wear this, this…” He waved his hand at her head. “They have no right to make you give up what you love for some kind of religious…” He ran out of words.
My chest felt tight. I realized I was holding my breath again.
Wafaa studied Zack in the light of the fire. The wind from the lake had picked up, and it made the flames roar higher than they had all night.
She stood up.
She put down her roasting stick and stepped over to him.
Slowly she leaned down in front of him. Her hand reached toward him.
Zack swallowed. His back stiffened against his chair, and he stared at her.
Her face leaned close to his.
Zack looked like he didn’t know whether to yell, cry or run. His hands gripped the arms of the chair.
Wafaa’s fingers slowly reached for the gold chain that hung around Zack’s neck. She pinched it gently, then lifted it. She pulled it until a small gold cross popped out from under Zack’s T-shirt and bounced onto his chest. She stopped pulling but didn’t let go of the chain.
“Why do your parents make you wear this?” she asked.
His body stayed frozen, but he turned his face up to frown at her.
She held her ground. She didn’t seem angry anymore, and her calmness made her seem even more powerful.
She waited for an answer.
Finally, Zack blinked.
“Nobody makes me wear it,” he said defiantly. Wafaa lifted one eyebrow, waiting for him to say more. He tried to explain, but he sounded flustered. “I just…wear it. I take it off when I want to take it off, and I put it on when I want to put it on.”
The flames flared up again with another gust of wind. A log cracked, then shifted and fell. A dozen sparks exploded upward like tiny fireworks. Just as quickly, they winked out. Wafaa still didn’t let go of the chain and still didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know what you want to hear,” Zack said. “It’s from my baptism. It represents love.” He shrugged and bit his lip. “It’s family. It’s loyalty.”
Wafaa finally dropped the chain and straightened up. But she still kept looking at Zack.
“That’s what this is,” she said, plucking at the corner of her hijab. “It’s family. It’s community. It’s respect. It’s love.” She made her way back to her chair, stepping carefully in the dark. “And no one makes me wear it. I get a say in how others see me. I put it on when I want it on, and I take it off when I want it off.” She pointed at his cross, still hanging outside his shirt. “Why is it any different?”
Zack looked away. He tucked his cross back under his shirt and stared out at the dark in the direction of the lighthouse.
He slapped loudly at his leg. “Stupid mosquitos,” he said to no one in particular.
Wafaa picked up her roasting stick.
We sat in silence, looking at the fire.
Suddenly a wiener came flying through the air and slapped Dion’s cheek. It bounced into the dirt and rolled to a stop beside the fire bricks.
“Eat up, Dion,” Joe said. “You’re looking a little skinny after all that training today.”
“You…little…!” Dion said. He grabbed the dirty wiener from the ground and whipped it back at Joe, his surprise turning into laughter. Joe flinched but somehow caught it and whipped it right back again. It bounced off Dion’s forehead. This time Dion just shrugged, picked it up and wiped it on his pants. He stuck it on his stick and went to work roasting it. “A little Mother Nature never killed anybody,” he said.
“COOK FASTER!” Kondo Sensei’s voice boomed out of the darkness. “We want DESSERT!”
We all jumped. Dion fell out of his chair and nearly landed in the fire. We couldn’t see the senseis in the dark behind us, but we could hear them both laughing deep belly laughs as they made their way toward us.
“Graham crackers! Chocolate! MARSHMALLOWS!” Kondo Sensei bellowed. As he got closer to the fire we could see him. He held up both hands, each one squeezing a bag of junk food. “TIME FOR S’MORES!”
Sensei Rick was carrying two more folding chairs. He imitated his teacher, holding the chairs up and shaking them in the air, laughing.
We shuffled our chairs around to make room for them, bumping into one another, laughing.
I wondered how long they had been there, how much they had heard.
For the rest of the night we stuffed our faces with tasty toasted marshmallows and soft melted chocolate, squished between crunchy graham crackers.
We ate until we thought we’d be sick.
And then we ate some more.
NINETEEN
The next morning two sharp whistle blasts broke through my sleep. This time I was a little quicker figuring out where I was.
That didn’t mean I was quick getting up. All the junk food from the night before was slowing me down. I sniffed at my arm. Smoke from last night’s fire. And it wasn’t just on my skin. My clothes gave the whole room a charred smell.
Another two blasts from the whistle. I rolled out of bed and went to the door.
Sure enough, out in the middle of the clearing was Sensei Rick. He was in shorts and a T-shirt instead of an aikido uniform, so I guessed we weren’t starting the day on the mats. From the way he was swinging his arms, though, I figured he had something in mind for us and was eager to get started on it.
I wandered back to the other bedroom, where Joe lay unmoving under his sheet. I slapped him where I guessed his butt would be.
“Rise and shine, cupcake!” I said. I saw a little alarm clock beside the bed. Nine AM! I’d never slept past 7:00 AM at home.
Joe still hadn’t budged, so I poked him hard in the ribs.
“Ow!” he cried. At least I knew he was alive.
I dragged myself outside wearing the shorts and T-shirt I had brought to wear as pajamas. Dion, Zack and Wafaa had made it outside by then, but they didn’t look too happy to be there. I heard Joe thumping along behind me, and I waited for him to catch up.
Once we got there, Sensei Rick announced the plan. “This morning we’re going to work on breathing! And the best way to learn about breathing is to practice where there isn’t any air!”
We looked at one another. If he thought we were up for solving riddles this early in the day, he was in for a big disappointment.
“Go get your bathing suits on,” he said. “We’re going down to the lake!”
That woke us up. We cheered and ran back to our trailers to get ready.
“Just one thing, Riley! ” Joe called from his room. “What if the water’s cold? That isn’t some sandy beach down there!”
“So what if it is cold?” I shouted back. “You sweat so much in the dojo, maybe you’ll enjoy freezing your butt off for a change!” I dug through my duffel bag for a towel.
I found it and was the first one back out. I noticed that Sensei Rick’s shorts didn’t look like a bathing suit.
“Are you going to swim in that, Sensei Rick?” I asked.
He laughed. “Do you have any idea how cold that lake is?” he said. “I’m not even going to put my toes in!”
“So why are you making us go in?” I said.
“A few reasons. First, it
is a good way to practice your breathing. Breath control is really important in aikido. We count on breath power instead of muscle power. If you practice holding your breath underwater, you won’t gas out so quickly on the mats.
“Second,” he said, and he lowered his voice a little, “Kondo Sensei and I heard some of what you guys were talking about last night around the fire. Things sounded like they got kind of serious. It didn’t seem like anything got out of hand, but… well, that was a tough conversation. Kondo Sensei thought a little swim would be a good way to reset. You know, wash off some of those heavy feelings.”
I nodded. They must have been standing behind us longer than we realized. “Makes sense,” I said.
“Third,” he said, looking at his watch, “it’s a lake. It’s fun. If we can get there before lunch!”
So Sensei Rick did allow his students to have fun, as long it was carefully scheduled.
He gave another blast on the whistle. “Let’s go, guys!” he yelled.
“RICKY!” Kondo Sensei’s voice echoed through the camp. “STOP THAT WHISTLING!”
Sensei Rick cringed and started walking toward the wooden fence. He looked so much like a kid in trouble that I had to laugh.
Everybody else caught up to us. We stood a few steps from the fire pit.
“So how exactly do we get down there, Sensei?” Wafaa asked, looking over the fence.
“Easy,” Sensei Rick replied. “We take the stairs.” He walked along the fence to where it ended, past Wafaa’s trailer. He picked up a long stick that had been leaning against the last fence post.
He poked around the bushes until he found what he was looking for. Then he disappeared into them. After a second his head popped back out. “You guys coming?” he asked. He disappeared again.
The five of us ran over to the bushes. Zack just barely beat Wafaa to be at the front of the pack. He hesitated for a second, then pushed his way through.
Wafaa went next. When it was my turn to step through, I was surprised at how quickly the ground dropped off. Two more steps and I’d have been a goner. There was sort of a pathway, but if I didn’t want to just roll down the cliff, I’d have to climb carefully down a few wooden steps that were half buried in the dirt.
Plenty of times when I was anxious and the Surge was twisting my stomach in knots or making my hands shake, I felt like I was standing at the edge of a cliff.
Now I actually was standing on the edge of a cliff.
It was scary, but not nearly as bad as the Surge.
I tried to concentrate on how Zack, and then Wafaa, picked their way down the steps. Just past the stairs Sensei Rick stood on a flat part. He poked at the ground in front of him with his stick. I could see that the ground was pretty sandy, and in some places the edges just trickled away in a landslide where he poked. I did my best to put my feet exactly where Wafaa had stepped ahead of me.
As we walked, the trail zigzagged back and forth. At a couple of places it was so steep that we took turns grabbing onto the stems of the plants for balance. In other places we slid on our bums to get to the next flat part. Once we had to hold Sensei Rick’s hand as he helped us jump over a little gap.
Finally, one last hop straight down and my feet were on rocky ground. I looked back up. We had started at such a height that I got dizzy just looking there.
“We deserve colored belts just for surviving that trip!” Dion said.
Sensei Rick shook his head. “Coming down is the easy part,” he said. “Just wait till we go back up.” He stretched his arm out at the lake. “But first, everybody in! The water’s never been warmer!” He looked at me and winked.
The waves were sparkling with the morning sun. The water really did look warm. Zack and Dion kicked off their flip-flops and raced ahead, splashing as they tore into the water. A second later they screamed as they realized that Sensei Rick had tricked them. Joe and I looked at each other. I could tell he didn’t want to go in any more than I did.
Wafaa was never one to back down though. She adjusted her bathing cap and rushed in after the boys.
Her courage got her into the water, but it couldn’t keep her warm. She got knee deep before hugging herself tight and giving a little scream. She looked back at us and smiled. She was already shivering, but her smile made it look like going in was worth it. She waded in deeper, then dove under. She came up splashing at Zack and Dion.
Joe and I looked at each other again.
I flashed back to our very first night of aikido. Me, terrified. Me, doing nothing while one after the other everyone else “jumped in.”
I didn’t want to be that kid anymore.
Why should I be the last one “standing against the wall”?
Nobody was keeping me there but me.
“See ya!” I yelled in Joe’s face. I tore off my T-shirt and charged into the lake. “Sumo attack! Sumo attack on Zack!”
Like Wafaa, I got knee deep before the water froze me. The cold shot from the tips of my toes to the top of my brain. My mouth fell open, but I pushed through, forcing my way deeper. When I was close enough to the other kids, I launched myself at them.
The splash was huge. I dunked my whole body under.
It was so cold that my eyes nearly popped out. And I think my heart stopped beating for a second. But I forced myself down deeper. I waved my arms and pushed the water up so I could stay close to the bottom.
I held my breath as long as I could take it. When my lungs felt like they were going to burst, I blew out a rush of bubbles and stayed down just a little longer. My lungs were burning, squeezing…
The Surge lit up my brain, but I didn’t want to give in.
And then I relaxed. Just for a second, for one perfect moment, I felt calm.
That was all I’d wanted. To beat the Surge.
I shot up, my feet pushing off the bottom, breaking through the water’s surface like a whale and sucking in air.
I flopped back into the water. I got my feet under me and stood up to blink and rub the lake out of my eyes. My lungs were still heaving.
I thought back to what Sensei Rick had told me about why we were coming down here this morning. One of the things he had said was that we’d be working on aikido “breath power.” I didn’t know if mine would get any stronger from one morning of swimming, but I sure did feel like it was a fresh start for me. After the tough talk around the fire the night before, maybe it was a fresh start for all of us aikido kids.
A giant wave blasted over my shoulders and neck, and I heard the other kids laughing.
“Revenge!” Dion shouted.
It was becoming a battle. I turned and saw Wafaa struggling to dunk Zack.
I looked back toward the beach. Joe had made it into the water almost up to his knees. But he didn’t look happy about it.
“Joe!” I called.
He frowned. “What?”
“Oh, Joe-oh!” I sang.
“What?” he said. He sounded nervous.
The other kids seemed to know what I was thinking.
“Sumo attack on Joe!” Zack yelled.
“No, guys, c’mon, please…”
Swimming, wading, crawling through the water, the four of us went after him as fast as we could. He couldn’t help himself. He started laughing.
“Guys, please! It’s too cold!”
He squeezed his eyes shut and pawed at the air, trying to stop the waves we splashed at him. Finally he gave up, roared and smashed into the water with a huge belly flop.
I swam off to the side and stood up, waist deep. I spotted Sensei Rick sitting on a boulder at the bottom of the cliff, keeping an eye on us.
“Is this how the adults train when they come up here, Sensei Rick?” I shouted to him.
Sensei Rick stood and held up a finger like he was going to offer a wise insight.
He didn’t say anything at first, so I waited. The sun was warm on my shoulders. After a few seconds he shrugged. He had a goofy look on his face, like he was fighting down a big laugh.
Two sets of hands grabbed my legs under the water and boosted me up. Another pair of hands grabbed onto my shoulders, pulling me back.
The last thing I heard before doing my first breakfall that day was laughter, louder than any of the waves.
TWENTY
My cheek pressed into the soft white mat. From this angle I could see the scuffs on its surface. My eyes closed and my body rested.
Finally, I could relax.
Except for my shoulder, which felt like it was being twisted into a pretzel by Zack.
We had come back from our morning at the beach to find two surprises. The first one was lunch. Kondo Sensei had made us a pile of sub sandwiches. After all the work of our morning swim—and the climb back up the cliff—we just about inhaled the whole stack.
The second surprise was that Kondo Sensei had erected a pop-up tent over the dojo platform to give us shade while we trained. It didn’t have walls, just a roof on four legs, so the breeze still blew over us.
Kondo Sensei started right in on the same techniques we had done the day before. We were on the third one, and it was Zack’s turn to be sh’te, to do the moves on me.
I was face down and loving it. I lifted my free hand in the air as if I was about to tap out. But I held off.
The shade was so cool, and the mats were so soft. I let my hand hang there. Zack eased up on the lock, and I soaked up the break. After a second Zack figured out what I was doing. He snorted, then put the lock back on with a sharp twist.
Eventually it hurt enough for me to slap my hand down in surrender. Zack let my pinned arm flop instead of tucking it carefully against my back. We both sat where we were for a couple of seconds, then dragged ourselves back into kamae.
I looked around and saw that Kondo Sensei was watching me. Throughout the class he had been watching all of us. Every so often he wrote something down in a notebook. Then he’d keep on drilling us in the same four techniques. Over and over and over.
“Switch partners!”
“Hajime!”
“Switch partners!”
“Do it again!”
“Next technique!”