by Misty Simon
“Oh, honey, haven’t I taught you anything?” Mama Shirley patted Gina’s shoulder while laughing softly. “You let them know that you won’t be bossed around from the beginning and you won’t have to fight about it down the line. It’s fine for him to look a little droopy walking away as long as he’s coming back. I know it.”
“But what if he doesn’t?” Gina asked her mom in a wavering voice.
“Oh, he will,” she answered. “I guarantee it. I’m sure he’ll even have flowers when he does.”
I envisioned Mama Shirley calling my father, who would then tell my brother that he better buy a big bouquet and come with a sincere apology. I didn’t know if my dad would get involved, but he might since he wanted grandchildren as much as my mother did. In their defense, my other brother didn’t even have a girlfriend who could give them grandchildren, and I had no intention of starting a family anytime soon. Jeremy and Gina, on the other hand, could be married and popping out babies within a year. Of course, my mother had already talked about it and had names picked out for the children to call her and my father. She even had a book of nursery themes for Gina to choose a décor from, too, and my mother was ready to buy it all and set it up for them. I hadn’t said anything to Gina yet. I’d save that for another time.
“He’s not that stupid, and he knows he crossed a line,” I chimed in. “That’s why he went after me next. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure he’ll be back with a good apology and those flowers. Maybe even some chocolates.” I’d suggest it when I saw him at dinner later and told on him for fighting with Gina. That ought to make for lively conversation. It would also keep my parents from drilling me too hard for an answer about joining the funeral parlor as a partner instead of a girl Friday.
Mama Shirley winked at me, and I smiled back. We had this covered.
“So, you said you had some news to take my mind off this?” Gina also swung left to right on her stool as I did. We probably looked as if we were trying to do a synchronized stool dance.
Mama just continued to smile. “I love seeing the two of you back together. We haven’t even had a snafu like that last one.”
Yeah, she was talking about the one she always seemed to bring up whenever she was displeased. That one time, long ago, when I was eleven and got into trouble with Gina. She never went into details, and quite honestly I couldn’t remember the circumstances, so I usually just sat through the lecture, grateful and fortunate that she didn’t ever bring up the extent to which I had let Gina down when I was Mrs. Walden Phillips III and thought I was better than everyone. Maybe Gina hadn’t told her much about it. I doubted that. It was more likely that Gina’s mom had decided not to rock the boat we were very firmly sharing now.
“I am happy to be here. Can I have a cookie?” Why not take the advantage while I had it?
She flicked the towel at me but still put a triple chocolate chunky cookie on a plate, popped it into the microwave, then served it to me when it was warmed. Heaven, absolute heaven. Not a snickerdoodle, obviously, but definitely on par with one.
After savoring the first bite, I licked the melty chocolate off my fingers. Mama handed me a napkin. I laughed. “Yeah, I don’t need that.” Rolling the taste around in my mouth for another moment, I took a breath and prepared to dive in. “Now where was I? Oh, right. So, I was at the Rockwells’ today, keeping them busy while Letty cleaned.”
Mama groaned, and I giggled.
“Anyway, while I was there I got them talking, and it turns out they could confirm that the dastardly Eli tried to get people to bribe him to give favorable home inspections, even if the house truly was in good repair. He would try to make up things that weren’t true, things people didn’t know about, that could have been wrong. He banked on the hope that they wouldn’t understand it and pay him to leave that off the report. He also got paid to lower the assessment so they would pay less taxes. My info is that he was working with his brother in the borough’s assessment office. They’d raise the taxes for those who didn’t know better and couldn’t afford the bribe.”
Gina leaned in, her black hair swinging forward as she put her elbows on the counter. “And no one has turned him in?”
“From what I understand the Rockwells tried to, but their paperwork got buried in bureaucracy, and once someone else did their assessment, they let it go. Maybe we should check out Eli’s brother and the other guy who does inspections. The brother might not say anything depending on if he’s the top dog or the underling. The other inspector guy, Mick, though, I’m thinking he has to know some dirt since he’d have run in the same circles as Eli when Eli was a home inspector instead of a code enforcer.”
“Do you think the brother would have killed him? Maybe he got too mouthy or greedy?” asked Mama Shirley. Even though I missed Max intensely, I was so thankful I had these two as my backup.
“I don’t know, but I think we should start by asking Marianne a few questions. She has to know something more than she’s saying. Don’t you think?”
The door dinged to let us know a customer was entering the store. Gina and I both turned simultaneously to find Annie walking up to the counter.
“Annie, how are you?” Mama asked first. “How’s Rhoda doing with getting the place ready for this weekend?”
Annie nodded at all three of us, her light hair falling in waves over her shoulders. When she was in period costume, like a Victorian gown or a homespun dress to mimic the early colonists, she pulled it back in any number of artful ways. While wandering around town she tended to be more casual. Today she had sweats and a hoodie on. “She’s making it through. Now that they’ve officially ruled it a heart attack without any kind of foul play, she’s much better.”
I bit my tongue. I needed to hear more about what was being said in town. Blurting out my take on the situation would only make her go on the defensive and get into another passive-aggressive fight with me.
“So, she’s ready to open on Friday?” Mama asked, her hand curled around her towel.
Thankfully, she, too, was playing along. Now, if only Gina wouldn’t say anything to set Annie off.
A smile crossed Annie’s face that lit up the room. “Oh, yes, and I can’t wait to get back to work. Thanks for letting go of that crazy idea that it was a murder, Tallie.”
Yeah, I still didn’t say anything.
She continued as if she had the right of it. “They’ve been trying so hard to make sure that Paul and I had things to do around the place to earn our keep. I don’t mind mowing the lawn and cleaning out the barn, but I much prefer to use my acting talents. We have a tour set up this weekend for three couples who are staying with us. It’s going to be amazing. Without any issues.” When she glanced my way, the smile faded. Her eyes narrowed for a second, but then she did the full-fledged smile again.
“Sounds great.” If Annie caught the flat, sarcastic tone of Gina’s voice, she gave no indication.
“It is. She’s excited and that makes me excited for her. She deserves it and so much more for putting up with all that damage and the heartache over the years. She’s like a mother to me. I love that she says the same thing to me. She never had kids, but she says she has me and Paul.” She laughed softly. “And now that Paul and I can’t have kids, I guess I might want to look for a stand-in kid of my own. Tallie, do you need another mom?”
“Uh . . .”
“I’m just kidding. Your mom is a gem. Now back to the reopening! In anticipation of that, I’m here to put in an order for your delicious sticky buns.”
Mama Shirley got out the order pad and took Annie aside. Gina pulled me to the back room. “She seems convinced.”
“I told you that no one seems to believe except you, me, and Burton. Maybe Matt, too, but that’s it. We’re fighting an uphill battle here.”
“Let’s go gird our loins then,” Mama Shirley said, entering the back room.
So apparently now we were a team of four—me, Gina, Mama Shirley, and Burton. There were worse people to be in
league with.
* * *
I crossed the street to my own apartment and headed upstairs without incident while talking to my uncle about the possibility of helping Marianne out with the back rent. He was willing to hold it for a short time, long enough to find out what happened and then she could make payments. He’d offered to even lower the rent, bless his heart, but I told him to hold off. He deserved payment. After all these years, he owned them outright, but he did have expenses and shouldn’t lose money on them. No one seemed to be in the building and that was fine with me. I had things to do and more people to call once I hung up with my uncle.
He grudgingly agreed as I opened the door to my apartment and waited to see if Mr. Fleefers might deem me worthy of a hello. No such luck.
After going online to find the phone number for Mick O’Rourke’s business, the other local inspector, I called him. I had to leave a message. And then since I couldn’t reach Marianne, either, I left her a message, too.
If she didn’t call me immediately I’d leave another message telling her there was a problem with the rent, and I needed to hear from her as soon as possible. That ought to get her moving.
Max picked up on the first ring. A glance at the locator app for his cell put him in the hotel. He could be in a meeting, but he sounded tired.
“Hey, sweetie,” I said in a soft voice.
“Tallie, hi. What’s going on?”
Nothing earth-shattering and nothing that he needed to talk with me about if he was trying to nap. Getting him off the phone quickly was my best idea in a while. If I’d known he was napping I wouldn’t have called in the first place. Venting could wait. “I just wanted to hear your voice and tell you good afternoon.”
“Okay.” He yawned.
“Sleep well.”
“I’d sleep better if you’d come with me. I told you they were willing to let me bring a guest.”
And I had told him I couldn’t afford it. I had jobs to do. But now was not the time to remind him of that. “Okay, well, I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Sounds good. Love you,” he said, then must have hit the off button because the line went dead. Good enough.
So now my evening stretched out before me. I was itching to do some more research, but I had nowhere to start and nothing to work with. All government offices were closed at this time of day, Letty was done cleaning the houses, and I was . . .
Due at dinner twenty minutes ago. Crap.
I rushed down the stairs, almost tripping in my haste and knocking myself out. But I was able to safely get to my car and it started on the first try. One of these days that might not be the case, as the car was getting older and needed more maintenance than I could afford at the moment, but I wasn’t ready to turn the thing in. Not yet anyway.
I made it in record time to my parents’ house, but I was still late, which got me the disapproving eye from my father and the helicoptering from my mother.
“Is everything okay, dear? You look out of breath. You didn’t find another dead person, did you? This really is not the way we want to increase our business, you know. Daddy has enough to do without you bringing them in to him.”
I hated when she called Bud Graver Daddy. I let it pass because it was never going to change. “Everything’s fine. Just a few errands to run. No more dead bodies.” I sat down at the seat I’d had since I was old enough to not use a high chair. My other brother, Dylan, sat to my left, and Dad sat at the end. Jeremy sat across from me, and Mom sat to my right. For as long as I could remember everyone had the same seats. It was a tradition, and we Gravers liked our traditions.
Tonight, I would have welcomed Jeremy being anywhere except directly across from me. He kept shooting daggers from his beady eyes. I was not going to be able to enjoy what smelled like shepherd’s pie if he tried to kill me with his eyes.
“You want to do this here and now?” I asked when my mother ran out of the room to get dinner from the oven and my dad took a phone call. It was business whenever and wherever for him. People didn’t conveniently die between eight and five Monday through Friday.
“No, I don’t want to do this at all. I want you to leave my girlfriend out of your crazy schemes and just do something with yourself.”
“And what would you suggest I do when I find a dead body?”
“You didn’t, Tallie, not again.” Dylan scooted his chair closer to mine. “Was this one gruesome? Lots of blood, or was it pretty clean? I keep thinking that I’d like to get into the cemetery part of burial, you know, keeping the grounds and the walkways groomed. But if I do anything but landscaping and not come to the family business Dad would probably kill me.”
What was it with my family and the final parts of life, or even the afterlife? Did I miss that gene somewhere?
“It was not gruesome. It was just weird. They’re trying to say it was a simple heart attack when I know better.”
“How?” Dylan asked.
“No one has a heart attack and has their head turned around like in The Exorcist, then falls neatly on a bed with their body laid out as if taking a nap,” I said.
“And no one except Tallie saw him like that. Go figure.” Jeremy smirked across from me. I barely kept myself from smacking him.
“Yes, well, you can smirk all you want, but I know what I saw and Gina believes me. So while you sit here being a jerk, I’m going to figure out what really happened to Eli St. James with the help of my best friend.” I kicked out at him under the table, but I was too far away.
“I can’t believe you’re dragging my girlfriend into your stupidity.”
“What stupidity is that?” my dad asked, entering the room again.
I hadn’t wanted to talk about this in front of him because he’d already told me to stay out of it. I willed Jeremy to keep his mouth shut, but of course he didn’t.
“Tallie is dragging Gina into this supposed mystery with a dead guy no one else thinks has been murdered.”
Dad’s eyes zeroed in on me, and I could feel his censure crawling across my skin like a caterpillar, and not the nice kind.
I did not defend myself, however, because I, too, was a grown-assed woman and needed no one to tell me what I could and couldn’t do.
“I thought I had asked you to stay out of that.” Dad’s words and tone were soft. There was no mistaking the bite of steely disappointment under them, though.
“And I believe I told you that I would be looking into it because it was important.”
We faced off with my brother, Dylan, between us. He was smart and ducked down as he scooted his chair out a little to avoid the direct line of confrontation.
“I heard you,” Dad finally conceded.
“Then I believe that’s the end of the conversation except the part where Jeremy has demanded, like a Neanderthal I might add, that Gina stay out of things, too. Then he walked out on her, essentially ending their relationship.”
“Jeremy,” Mom said, coming back into the dining room with the promised shepherd’s pie. I loved this stuff and was going to thoroughly enjoy it while my brother got reamed out for ruining the one relationship that could have stuck. Served him right.
He pinked right up, just as I knew he would. It went well with his tie.
I whispered the comment to Dylan and we snickered.
Jeremy’s growl showed that he was not nearly as amused. “I did not end the relationship, we simply went to our separate corners so that we could think about how we wanted to end this disagreement.”
Mom frowned at him. “You will end this disagreement by going to her with flowers and an apology for being a jerk. My heavens, boy, didn’t you learn anything from your father?”
Jeremy crossed his arms and glared at me.
I smiled. “You might want to throw some of those fancy chocolates in, too. I hear she loves the really expensive kind from the chocolatier down the street. Nougat-filled should work. In case you didn’t know.”
Chapter Ten
My work don
e with my family at the dinner table, I went back to my apartment without having to discuss my partnership in the funeral parlor. My family did good, necessary work, and they did it with honesty and compassion. They made those final moments with your loved one special and smooth, and as painless as possible. I admired them no matter how many times I rolled my eyes at all of them, but that did not mean I wanted to be a part of it.
Someday I would come up with the right way to tell them. The right way that they’d actually believe. Until I had a brilliant epiphany on how to make that happen, I’d keep putting it off until another day. For the moment I had a cat to feed.
Mr. Fleefers met me at the door. He even twined around my ankles a few times. Of course, that was all over once I opened his fancy food.
Gina called while I was making myself tea.
“So, you can expect flowers and chocolate and an elaborate apology. Don’t take anything less.”
“Are you serious?” she asked.
“Absolutely. I managed to shame him in front of my parents and they demanded that he make amends. I even got out of talking about the offer my dad keeps throwing on the table for me to join the funeral home full-time.” I poured boiling water over my weak tea bag, wishing it was Gina’s special loose-leaf tea.
“Oh, Tallie, I hope that doesn’t backfire.”
“Of course it won’t. I know what I’m doing. I’m sure he’s out buying the necessary things now and composing an apology that will knock your socks off.”
She laughed, but it sounded watery.
“Seriously, Gina, if you want out, I understand. I promised myself that I wouldn’t come between you and Jeremy. If you really think he’s not going to apologize, then I don’t want to be the reason you break up.” That would not go over well with my parents at all.
“No, it’s fine. My mom was right. He needs to know from the beginning that I don’t give in just because he tells me to.”