No, Lucy. You’re better than that. Keep your head up.
Instead of doing something petty, Lucy placed her phone down with a bang. Was Dante messing with her? Trying to meet up with her after making out with Missy was pretty low. She had no respect for that type of stuff. She was a big girl, but she still had feelings. Hadn’t Dante promised never to hurt her again? That vow had lasted all of two seconds. She buried her face in her hands. She’d knowingly walked right back into the danger zone with her arms wide open.
What a fool she’d been.
She’d practically wrapped herself up as a Christmas gift with a big red bow and handed herself over to him. As the image of herself as a present danced before her eyes, she let out a wild cackle of laughter that almost had her questioning her sanity. There was absolutely nothing humorous about heartbreak. Lucy had made it way too easy for a player like Dante. He’d waltzed back into town with a lot of pretty words and endless amounts of charisma.
Now all she could hope for was to make it through Christmas without falling apart. She would put on a cheery smile and do her best to spread love and light throughout town, even if it killed her.
Déjà vu gripped her. She’d walked this path before and it felt worse this time. She should have known better than to think a librarian and a movie star would walk off into the sunset together.
When Dante left Mistletoe her heart would ache just as unbearably as it had eight and a half years ago. But this time around, Lucy had no one to blame but herself.
* * *
Dante patted his stomach as he stared at the food laid out on the craft services table. He really needed to insist on having healthier food options for the cast and crew. Eating chocolate doughnuts, cookies, and sandwiches always felt good in the moment, but he’d put on a few pounds since filming began. After filming on this movie wrapped he would start running or working out on an elliptical machine to get himself in shape for his next film.
It didn’t matter at the moment. It wasn’t as if he could eat a bite since his stomach was tied up in knots. He still hadn’t heard from Lucy, and his imagination was beginning to run wild. While a part of him feared that she had seen him with Missy, Dante had to stay positive and grounded about the situation. He was still in director mode. The entire production was counting on him to act in a competent manner. Even so, he’d had to stop himself from getting in his rental car and heading over to Lucy’s house.
Making matters worse, he was still reeling from the kiss Missy had laid on him in the courtyard. Dante was furious at her complete lack of judgment. He really hoped she would get her act together, both professionally and in her private life.
It wasn’t easy for Dante to confront people, but Missy hadn’t given him a choice. It was something he’d had to deal with head-on rather than allowing it to go unchecked. Other than a few regretful looks in his direction, Missy kept her distance for the rest of the shoot. Dante felt fairly optimistic that she’d learned her lesson. He only had a couple more scenes to shoot here in town. Unless he ended up reshooting scenes, he would have a few days of leisure leading up to Christmas, which thrilled him. Between spending time with Lucy, Nick, Miles, and his own family, Dante planned to make the most of the holidays.
If Lucy was still speaking to him.
“Dante. You have a very important visitor.” When he looked up, Sam was standing a few feet away with Tess at his side. “Nice to meet you, Tess,” Sam said with a wide grin before walking away.
“Hey, Tess.” Dante looked at his watch. It was almost seven. This time of year in Maine the sky turned dark at four o’clock. “What are you doing here? Isn’t it awfully late for you to be out by yourself?”
Tess came rushing toward him at lightning speed and kicked him. Pain seared through his shin, and he howled in agony. Tess stood in front of him with her hands on her hips.
He reached for his shin and began massaging the area. “Ouch. What did you do that for?”
Tess was glaring at him as if he’d just canceled Christmas. She was huffing and puffing like a fire-breathing dragon. “You hurt Lucy!”
He kept rubbing his shin. “What are you talking about?”
“You made her cry. And she doesn’t believe in love anymore. All because of you!”
Tess might as well have been speaking a foreign language. She wasn’t making any sense. “She what? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Tears were streaming down Tess’s face, and although he wanted to hug her, he didn’t want to be kicked in his nether regions. He wouldn’t put it past her. Pure fire was emanating from her eyes. “You made her think she was special! And now she saw you with that lady in your movie. And you’re so stupid if you can’t see that Lucy is the best you’ll ever have.” Tess began to sputter. “She’s better than the best, matter of fact. She’s one in a million.”
His suspicions had been correct. Lucy had seen him with Missy and jumped to the worst conclusion.
He held his hands up. “Tess, you’re preaching to the choir. I already know how amazing Lucy is. She’s the reason why I came back to Mistletoe.”
“Then why did you kiss someone else?” she asked. “That’s exactly what Lucy said.”
Dante clenched his teeth. Why hadn’t Lucy stuck around and confronted him about it? If she’d stayed, Lucy would have seen him telling Missy off. It would have been very clear to her what was going on. But instead she’d taken off without a word and ignored his messages and their plans to meet up for dinner.
“I-I didn’t kiss her, Tess. But that’s not something I want to discuss with a ten-year-old. No offense, but this is grown folks’ business.”
“None taken,” Tess said. “But I’m actually more mature than most kids my age. It probably comes from having two older sisters.”
Tell me something I don’t know, Dante thought. Tess was a thirty-year-old masquerading in a ten-year-old’s body.
“Tess, let me give you a ride home. I’m sure your parents are looking for you.”
“Okay. You can pop in next door and see Lucy while you’re at it. Maybe get down on your knees and beg for her forgiveness.” Tess’s eyes glimmered with a hint of excitement. All this drama must be like catnip for her.
Dante held in a groan. He certainly wasn’t taking advice from a little kid. And he wasn’t begging either. The idea rankled him. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Why was he being painted as the bad guy? Just because he’d made mistakes in the past didn’t mean he was doomed to repeat himself. Perhaps Lucy would always view him as a screwup.
“Why don’t you call home and let them know I’ll be dropping you off?”
Tess shrugged. “I don’t own a cell phone. My parents aren’t getting me one until I turn twelve,” she said matter-of-factly.
“That’s probably a good idea,” Dante muttered. He figured Tess could do a lot of damage with access to a cell phone. It made him shudder to even think about it.
“I’m sorry for kicking you, but I thought it was a good metaphor for you kicking Lucy’s heart around,” Tess said. Dante didn’t even bother responding. Perhaps it was karma for how he’d acted in the past with Lucy. If that was the case, he might have a few more kicks to the shin in his future.
After dropping off Tess at home and making sure she made it safely inside, Dante slowly drove past Lucy’s house. There were two vehicles in the driveway. He knew one belonged to Lucy. The house was lit up and the interior emitted a cozy glow. The Christmas tree they’d picked out at Sawyer’s peered out majestically from the living room window. With snow blanketing the roof and the lawn, it resembled a picture-perfect postcard of a New England Christmas.
Dante didn’t want to go inside and talk to Lucy. He didn’t want to apologize for something he hadn’t even done. Now, more than ever, he realized that the past was always going to hang over him and Lucy like a dark cloud. Clearly, she didn’t trust him. She hadn’t stuck around earlier to ask him any questions or to clarify what was going on between him and Miss
y. If she had, he could have easily explained the situation. He’d worked so hard to learn from the things he’d done wrong in the past. He’d genuinely loved Lucy, and it had been agonizing to lose her because of his own foolishness. But he’d become a better person over the years, and he wasn’t one to lie or manipulate. Did she even know him at all?
Staring at Lucy’s warm, inviting home made him yearn for things he might never have. The truth was, he wasn’t sticking around Mistletoe once the holidays were over. Especially not now that he and Lucy were at odds again. Although these past few weeks in his hometown had been wonderful and productive, his life was far away from Maine.
Reuniting with Lucy was something he would always cherish, but it bothered him to think he’d somehow caused her pain all over again. That had been the last thing he’d ever wanted to do, and yet somehow, history was repeating itself. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t done anything wrong. The result was still the same.
He was losing Lucy all over again. And it hurt just as much the second time around.
Chapter Twenty
The last forty-eight hours had been rough on Dante. While he yearned to explain things to Lucy, another part of him felt resigned to the situation. Perhaps they were destined to be at odds.
Troy, Noelle, Jimmy, and his mother were visiting Dante on set at Sawyer’s tree farm where he was filming today. The special visit gave his mood a perfect boost. Jimmy was all raw enthusiasm and infectious energy. He got a kick out of sitting in Dante’s director’s chair and being an extra in one of the scenes. The kid talked a mile a minute and always had a fresh supply of jokes. Troy and Noelle were joined at the hip, holding hands and whispering to each other. Although he was happy for the couple, his own feelings about him and Lucy left him raw. His mother kept bursting into tears and was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.
“Your father would have been so proud at this huge step you’re taking,” she said between sniffles. If she’d said that to him a few months ago, Dante wouldn’t have believed it. But now, armed with the knowledge that Troy, Nick, and Lucy had given him, it filled Dante with an additional layer of contentment.
Try as he might to stay in the moment, Dante’s thoughts kept drifting back to Lucy. Dante wished he’d knocked on her door the other night and talked things through with her. Another part of him wanted to bury his head in the sand and pretend things hadn’t unraveled again. His goal in returning to his hometown had been to make things better with the people he’d hurt in the past. Now, with less than a week standing between him and heading back to California, there was a gaping hole in his plan to fix things.
Maybe some things would always stay broken.
He went on a coffee run with Troy so he could bring back specialty drinks and pastries, unique items that weren’t provided by craft services, for the cast and crew. It was a small thank-you for all their hard work and dedication over the past few weeks. He was cautiously optimistic about the film. No matter how it was received by the public, Dante knew he’d put blood, sweat, and tears into the project, along with a huge chunk of his heart.
On the ride over, Dante told Troy about the situation with Lucy. While he vented, his brother sat and listened. He didn’t judge nor did he offer a simple solution to his problems. It felt good to talk to someone who knew him inside and out. Troy encouraged him to act on his feelings for Lucy and to try to fix things between them.
Once they reached the Coffee Bean, Troy pulled him aside before they entered the café.
“Hey, man. I need to talk to you about something,” his brother said. He looked a bit shaky. “I don’t want to be insensitive considering what’s going on with you and Lucy.”
Troy had his full attention. “Go for it. You can tell me anything. Is everything all right? You look a little rattled.” Dante hoped it didn’t have anything to do with their mother. Ever since they’d lost their father, he’d worried about losing her as well. He couldn’t imagine their family without her being the glue to hold them all together.
Troy’s eyes went wide. “Yeah, I’m good. Better than good actually.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a velvet box. When he popped it open, a sparkling engagement ring winked back at him.
Troy wiped a hand across his forehead. “I’m proposing to Noelle. And I’m petrified in case you didn’t already guess. Any suggestions?” Troy’s hands were trembling as he showed off the dazzling ring.
Dante let out a low whistle. “Wow. That’s some kind of bling you’ve got there. She’s going to love it. You did a great job picking it out.”
“Thanks. I know the proposal is an important step, but I just want to fast-forward to the moment I can make her my wife. If she says yes, that is.”
Dante gripped his brother’s shoulder. “You don’t have a single thing to worry about, bro. The two of you are perfect together. Just make sure to mention Jimmy in the proposal. Let her know you’re not just proposing to her. You know they’re a package deal.”
Troy grinned. “That’s a great idea, Dante. I’m sorry if my timing is off. I don’t want to pour salt in any wounds.”
“Don’t ever apologize for happy news,” Dante reassured him. “It actually gives me hope.”
Troy exhaled a deep breath. “Thanks. That makes me feel better. Should I wait for Christmas Eve to make it more special?” Troy seemed to be waiting with bated breath for his answer.
Dante chuckled at his brother’s nervousness. He’d never seen him like this, and it was proof that he was head over heels in love with his lady. “Only if you can wait that long. I think it’s going to be memorable for Noelle whenever you pop the question. Trust your instincts.”
“I will,” he said with a nod. “Thanks. Your opinion means a lot.”
Dante was happy at least one of them had found their other half. Troy deserved every ounce of happiness he’d earned for himself. Dante leaned in for a hug. It was nice to be in a good place with his brother so he could celebrate with him.
Just as they were about to walk into the café, Lucy walked out. Coming face-to-face with her made Dante feel as if his heart was going to jump out of his chest.
Lucy appeared shell-shocked at the sight of him too.
“Hey, Lucy,” Dante said, hoping to ease the tension floating in the air.
“Hi, Dante. Troy,” Lucy said with a nod.
Troy looked back and forth between them. “Why don’t I go check in on the order? Merry Christmas, Lucy.”
“Merry Christmas, Troy,” Lucy said as Troy dashed into the coffeehouse as if his feet were on fire.
Once it was just the two of them, the awkwardness intensified. All Dante wanted to do was sweep his palm across her cheek and press a kiss against her temple. He had to stop himself from taking her in his arms and holding her next to his heart.
“You haven’t responded to any of my messages.” Dante kept his voice even, tamping down his frustration in the hopes of bridging the gap between them.
“I’ve been busy,” Lucy said, her tone frosty. “This time of year is pretty hectic.”
Dante steepled his hands in front of him. “Tess came to see me. She told me you’re upset with me.”
She sighed. “I shouldn’t be surprised. Tess has big ears and an even bigger mouth,” Lucy muttered. “I’m sorry. It’s not her place to do that.”
Dante took a step closer. “Lucy, it wasn’t what you thought. Not even close. There’s nothing between Missy and me other than a working relationship.”
As Lucy shook her head, waves of dark hair fell around her shoulders. “I know what I saw, Dante.” Her expression was stern while her features were slightly pinched.
“What you saw wasn’t anything incriminating.”
Lucy scoffed. “You didn’t make me any promises, Dante, but it wasn’t fair to make me think—” Lucy stopped short and bowed her head.
“Make you think what?” he asked softly. “Talk to me, Luce.”
She raised her head and shrugged. “It doesn’t matter any
more.”
He ran a hand over his face and let out a frustrated sound. “You don’t trust me, Lucy. That’s what this is all about. And at this point, no matter what I do, I’m not sure that you ever will.”
* * *
For the last two days Lucy hadn’t been able to focus on anything other than Dante’s final words to her before they’d parted ways at the Coffee Bean. You don’t trust me, Lucy. It played like a continuous loop in her head. She’d heard the resignation in Dante’s voice. It mirrored her own feelings. How did a person bury the past so they could forge something new? She didn’t know how to let go of all the things she’d been holding on to and believe in a future with Dante. Or even a present. At the root were her own insecurities and fears that the past would repeat itself. Maybe she simply didn’t feel that a small-town librarian was enough for a famous movie star. Perhaps she wasn’t being fair to him. She’d been wearing a coat of armor for almost nine years now, and it felt strange to relinquish it. Because if she did, bad things might happen.
“Deck the halls with boughs of holly. Fa la la la la, la la la la.” Lucy belted out her favorite holiday song in the hopes of lifting her mood and willing the Christmas spirit to come over her. She was sitting at the circulation desk at the library, counting down the hours until she could lock up the place and officially declare she was on Christmas vacation.
It was no surprise that the library was empty. The townsfolk of Mistletoe were no doubt doing their last-minute shopping, wrapping gifts, and making fruitcake and figgy pudding. Lucy snorted at the thought of figgy pudding. It was just as terrible as it sounded. Her great-aunt Myrtle used to make it for Thanksgiving and Christmas. She and Stella had gotten creative about making it disappear from their plates.
The library would be closed for five straight days, during which Lucy would be cooking, wrapping presents, lounging in her favorite reindeer pajamas, reading, and preparing to celebrate Christmas with the Marshall clan. The sound of the door opening followed by the clickety-clack of heels on the gleaming hardwood floors immediately drew Lucy’s attention.
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