by Bobbi G
heavy to hold for a few minutes. However, if I held it up for half an hour I’d have pain and cramps in my arm. And if I held it up for a couple of hours you’ll probably have to call the paramedics.”
He went on to say that this was true of life. Holding onto things that should be ‘put down’ or ‘let go of’ was carrying unnecessary burdens, which could cause great emotional discomfort in your life. Wisely, he told his students it is best to ‘put down’ something that is bothering you because carrying it around constantly becomes a heavy burden.
Yet, don’t we all do this? We carry around past hurts, regrets, ill-spoken words or missed opportunities like a heavy chain around our neck. Then we hold on to it, afraid to let it slip away for fear of…what? That we may forget.
Why do we want to remember a past hurt in the first place? Why would we want to keep bringing up something in our past that reminds us of a difficult time, decision, or relationship? Do we really enjoy sitting around with friends trying to come up with the worst ‘poor me’ story?
We all have some ‘thing’ or a multitude of ‘things’ in our past that were unpleasant…a lost job, lost love, death of a relative, health crises, or even a difficult childhood…just to name a few scenarios. We’ve screwed up and made poor decisions. We’ve stayed in a situation we knew we should have gotten away from. We all have a past and, admittedly-if we are being honest, some parts of it aren’t the best memories. Maybe those times are best forgotten.
Yet, we all know people that relish in their past disappointments. They sing the song of “Woe, is me” so well they believe their life will never be anything but rock bottom, barely getting by or bad luck. Like the monk, they carry it around until it pushes its way to the surface and interferes with the present.
Folks put the glass down! Stop dangling burdens in your face like a well-worn medallion on a heavy chain around your neck. If you keep hearing a nagging Voice say, “See how you’ve screwed up your life!” Chances are it’s not your Voice. It may be the Voice of one of your parent’s, your first boss, an ex-relationship or a miss-guided teacher. Let it go. After all, we can only live this exact moment. Acknowledge the past, just stop re-living it!
Can you imagine...letting go?
In or Out of Control?
Column #172, Published 10-22-09
I’m talking about the feeling of being ‘in’ or ‘out’ of control of our own lives. Has there been a time in your life when you have felt out-of-control during certain circumstances? (It’s happened to me before.) Obviously we can’t control other people, their reactions, actions, words or feelings. However, we can control our own; and this is a lesson well learned when dealing with stressful events.
A situation recently happened to a good friend of mine, which prompted this column. She gave me permission to use her story. Anyway, my friend lost her job a couple of weeks ago. Obviously, she was distraught over the unexpected reality of becoming income-less with bills to pay. And she’s not alone; so many hard working people have found themselves abruptly out of work and scrambling to make ends meet. People who probably felt like the proverbial ‘rug’ was jerked right out from under their otherwise normal reality, altering their once routine existence overnight. This happened to my friend. She got up every morning and went to work. Now, there is no work to go to.
I’m going to flash forward for just a minute. A few weeks after she lost her job we were talking on the phone and she was having a bad day and feeling the stress of where her life was at that moment. She said, “I feel like I’m not in control of my life anymore.” “Not in control!” I said. “You have been in control the entire time.”
My friend could not control being released from employment. But Monday morning she was seeking assistance to find another job. She called her mortgage company and explained everything to them. She called friends and put the word out she was looking for employment; and with resume in hand, she went in search of a job. A better job! She immediately took control of the situation. When I pointed all this out to her and how proud I was of her for not buckling under the pressure, or turning to some sort of bogus ‘relief’ in the form of alcohol or worse; she realized she HAD been in control the entire time. She had taken steps to offset an unfortunate event. And when she realized this, her whole demeanor changed and her spirits were lifted.
Remember, we are always in control of our own lives and responsible for everything that happens. I know it doesn’t feel like it at times. But it’s true. Although, we can’t control other people, acts of God, how others respond to us, or the unfolding of certain events. We are always in control of how we respond to those events and the other people in our lives.
We choose how we react…control. We choose what we say…control. We choose how we feel…control. We choose to remain in an unpleasant situation, or not…control. We choose what we put in our bodies…control. We make choices every day, all day, good or bad. This is how we know we are in control of our life.
So, even though my friend is going through some major life changes right now, she’ll come out of it a better person for making good decisions and realizing she was and is always in control. And so are you.
Can you imagine…if we could control the weather?
When I Grow Up
Column 205, Published 6-10-10
When I grow up I want to stay a child. Children are full of life and love and laughter. Who wouldn’t want to stay a child…at least in their heart? And I can share with you so many reasons, such as:
Children are born happy. Even babies smile and laugh at familiar faces. And as children grow they effortlessly enjoy so many things, making them even happier. Things like laughing and giggling at silly jokes, puppy-kisses, or merrily splashing around in a mud puddle just because it’s there. On the other hand, adults sometimes forget how good it feels to laugh and be silly once in a while.
Children have an amazing thirst for knowledge. Often questioning with awe and wonder the incredible things in this magnificent world in which they live. Little things, like brightly colored leaves amaze them. Or, watching a line of ants marching along in formation will hold a child’s attention. Meanwhile, adults are apparently too busy to realize there are new and exciting things to discover every day.
Children keep it simple. They make every day a great day! From the minute they wake up they are totally involved in the moment. They don’t worry about tomorrow or think about yesterday. Children simply make the most of every moment by living it to the fullest. Yes, you could say children stop to smell the roses. Yet adults, hardly spend any time in the present moment because they are too busy reliving yesterday or planning for tomorrow.
Children have an entirely different perspective of the world. They think differently than adults. Wise beyond their years, children are willing to share their wisdom if we’d just stop telling them to “be quiet.” Children wonder why everyone doesn’t just get along because they make friends so easily. We adults, however, fuss over meaningless things like who left the cap off the toothpaste.
Unfortunately children are tainted by adults because…Children love easily; they learn how to hate. Children just see people; they learn to be prejudice. Children are born honest; they learn how to lie. Children desire to play and have fun; they learn restrictions. Children don’t understand why something has happened; they learn blame.
Children are easily excited; they learn disappointment. Children are, by nature, happy; adults they learn anger. Children will share; adults they learn greed. Children will comfort you; they learn to worry about themselves. Children live in the moment every day; they learn to worry about tomorrow and yesterday. Children admire others: they learn disrespect.
Yes friends, I want to stay a child at least in my heart. I want to enjoy every moment of every day, be happy just to be alive, love easily, play and have fun, comfort others, get excited over the little things and never stop wanting to discover the world around me. Mostly, I wish everyone else felt the same, remembering the child inside, that we u
sed to be, and letting them come out to play, at least once, every day.
As the saying goes “you’re as young as you feel.’” And hopefully you feel young and alive no matter how many birthdays you have behind you; because living life to its fullest doesn’t have an age restriction. Anyone can do it…and young children do it exceptionally well.
Can you imagine…letting your inner child out to play every day?
Erroneous Zones
Column 211, Published 7-22-10
What are Erroneous Zones? According to Dr. Wayne Dyer these are the dysfunctional areas of our lives that we need to recognize and improve upon. Areas like guilt, worry, dissatisfaction with a relationship, or job, doing things we don’t really want to do, or being afraid to do the things we really do want to do. (There are more, but this gives you an idea.)
Certainly, anytime an area of our life is out of balance, for instance feeling guilty, we need to become aware of this erroneous zone and begin taking steps to diminish or completely rid ourselves of guilty feelings. How do we do this? Well, you may have to read Dyer’s book for more information. However, I found it