by Don Fern
five feet deep. It made more sense to walk along the edge of the road. People were doing this. They always kept an eye on the cars. Some of the drivers drove on the right and some drove on the left. Several times two cars meet each other head on. They both stopped for the other then one switched to driving on the other side of the road. I never did recognize which side of the road was to be driven on. After watching this chaos, I wanted to be in a more relaxed place. I decided to walk down one of the side streets.
The street was the width of an alley and had a blacktop road. Homes were built within a few feet of the paved road. It was a hot day and I was getting thirsty. At a corner there was a small grocery store. Looking in the open door, I saw a cooler in the back of the store. I entered the store to get a cold drink from the cooler. Just inside the door was a table. Several interesting looking rocks were on it. One rock was especially attracting, shimmering and glistening in the sun. I bought both the cold drink and the glittering rock
After boarding the ship I put the rock into my suitcase, ate something, and went to the casino. Somehow I won 212 dollars at the casino that night. This amazed me. I do not recall, ever in my entire life, wining money by gambling. I went back to my cabin and the rock was glimmering on the night table beside the bed. I thought I have packed it in my suitcase. Since it was on the end table I must had put it there. I did not understand then how the rock got to the table. But now I do.
The last day of the cruise I found that I had won a total of 727 dollars in the casino. That was amazing. It was inconceivable that I could win that much money. It started the day I bought the glittering rock. That’s when my life changed.
After arriving home I went on the internet and made a subscription to the lottery. So far I have won a little over 300,000 dollars on the lottery. I spend the money on the things I have always wanted to do and never imagined I would. I have things now that were impossible to have before the rock. The shining rock is here with me at the computer. The rock follows me around the rooms in my house. The rock helps me with the computer. I don’t press the keys to make the computer work. The computer just works. I found the rock glitters at night without the sun. The rock sits on the table beside my bed and glows while I sleep.
I find the rock comforting. Since I bought the glittering rock all have every wanted I have now. It’s all because of the shining rock. I feel I should return the favor to the rock if I could. And I would if I could. But how do I do that? That can’t be done. I would do anything for the glittering rock.
______________
Now he is sitting at his computer staring at nothing. The stare at nothing, I have seen in many for many years. I need the life from many to wait for my revenge. Someday someone will find him there and he will go to a much happier place to sit and stare. He got what he wanted, all the things he could never do or have. I got what I wanted, to exist. I call that a fair deal.
When you’re dead you realize that life itself goes on almost forever. When it winds down you need new life and you trade for it. So I make fair deals to keep life in me. That’s how I exist while waiting for my revenge. I don’t know what that revenge is yet but I’ll find out. They came in 1674. They named our island Jamaica. They killed us with their disease. I will correct the injustice. I will have my revenge.
Do you desire everything you every wanted in life. You can have it. Take the cruise that stops at the small town on the island of Xaymaca. Go to the corner store. I am on the table, just inside the door, waiting for you.
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Positive Thinking for Christmas
Lately there’s been a lot of negative images and about Christmas conjured up. Usually it’s from TV, movies, books, and the Internet. This makes for a sad, dreary Christmas, just the opposite, as what it should be. To cheer up the dreariness, caused by these negatives, the following list should be used. First is listed the negative idea or image. Then is the positive thinking needed to replace those negatives. So with positive thinking everyone will have a Joyous and Happy Christmas Season.
1. Negative
On TV and in movies Santa Claus shown as a drunk being hauled off to jail.
Positive
Think of how easy it is to get a bicycle, instead of your usual lump of coal, by mugging Santa.
2. Negative
How Santa might not get to your house before morning, because of a blizzard.
Positive
How fast the sled and reindeer can fly with a 60 mile per hour tail wind.
3. Negative
Elfs going on strike and there are no toys in the stores to be given to you as presents.
Positive
The money you save by rewrapping the presents you received last year and giving as presents this year.
4. Negative
You are getting no presents because Santa is too fat to fit down the chimney.
Positive
Think of how the reindeers feel after pulling a fat guy around the world in one night.
5. Negative
Thinking of what strange things an old man is doing in your living room in the middle of the night.
Positive
Tape Santas' visit and sell the tape as a video to a cable company that features New Rock Bands.
6. Negative
Grandma getting run over by a reindeer.
Positive
More presents for me.
7. Negative
Not getting presents, because the reindeers are sick and can’t pull the sled.
Positive
More deermeat for Santa.
8. Negative
How it’s really hard for Santa to get down the chimney with the fire burning full blast.
Positive
How easy it is for Santa to get up the chimney.
9.Negative
Santa and his reindeers getting shot down by a missile when coming into Canada from the North Pole.
Positive
Presents for the caribou.
10. Negative
How lonely Mrs. Claus gets with Santa away all Christmas Eve.
Positive
The one night a year to party with the Elfs.
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Santa Monthly
January 2012
Comet still missing. Last seen1/2 mile south of the North Pole, in a snowdrift collapsed from exhaustion, on December 26, 2011 at 12:01 A.M. We’re gonna send a search party to find him as soon as we figure out which way to go, to go south.
Not responsible for any microwave oven doors arriving in place of flat panel tvs on December 25.
Dear Santa
What’s going on there anyway. I wrote you a letter. Telling you what I wanted. All I got was a monkey gong set, dried turkey, and Halloween candy wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper.
Neddy
Dear santa
Thank you for the dolly. Why did my sister get a t-shirt with you and a pumpkin on it?
Debbie
February 2012
It’s always good to see those letters coming in. Especially in February. Cause its really cold here at the north pole. And there are very few trees. So we roll up all the letters and use then for fire wood.
March 2012
It difficult to fly kites here cause the west wind keeps the kites flying around in circles.
April 2012
Every wonder where the Easter Bunny get all those eggs. Well we have a committee that been assigned to figure it out.
May 2012
May really isn’t a particular exciting month here. We are still working on a way to get the barbeque grill out of the frozen pond. Last May it got there when someone put to much charcoal starter on. And lit it went up in flames, melted the ice, and sunk to the bottom.
June 2012
Santa is gearing up for his big season, the Christmas on 4th of July commercials.
July 2012
Notice: A lot of monkey gong sets in stock. Be sure to include one on your list for this year.
&nb
sp; Everyone whats to know what Santa is doing.
Here’s the latest on Santa.
Santa been busy posing for before pictures in weight loss info-commercials.
Santa is considering signing a contract with a candy company. He would need to change his suit from red to brown to be the worlds largest chocolate Easter Egg. .Hasn’t decided on this yet.
Santa has been spending a lot of time rereading those naughty letters from last Christmas.
August 2012
Well Santa got back from his vacation. Like every year, He went to his favorite island in the Pacific.
This year Elex the Elf gave him a ride in the sled to Canada. Then Santa boarded a plane for his trip. Elex the Elf flew by the plane after it took off to wave a finale goodbye. Elex flew a little close to the right engine. Now there are two extra reindeers to help Rudolph guide the sled.
Around the North Pole we have heard some rumors about how Santa was doing on his vacation. A couple are not true, so they will be cleared up here.
One rumor was that, at the airport, the line for security was very slow and Santa got stuck in it for three hours. This is not true, Santa was stuck in the metal detector for three hours.
Also there was a rumor that a whale had washed up on the beach in front of the resort hotel where Santa was staying. This is not true, Santa just fell asleep on the beach.
A couple of thing we heard are true. There was a earthquake that shook the whole island while Santa was there. We ask Santa about this. He said it happen while he was at his favorite night spot out on the dance floor boogieing.
Also we heard from Santa that the economy isn’t very good there. He said the all-you-can eat restaurant went bankrupted the day after he ate there.
Also there is a rumor about Santa, an ox cart, and a parrot. We have no idea what this is.
September 2012
In this months newsletter are some past Christmas