Short Story Mixture

by Don Fern

letters to Santa.

  We didn’t know which ones to put in. So we have a random selection.

  Dear Santa

  I have been good all year. I want a doll. I want a water shirt. I want a box of candy. I want a dollhouse. Doll wants a raincoat. Doll wants a car. Doll wants furniture.

  Sally

  Hi Old Man

  Want to go out with my sister? She’s as fat as you are.

  Tommy

  Santa

  I been good. I want a race car. A six shooter. A pumpkin. A monkey gong set.

  I want a new bigger size bicycle. A new ghost costume for Halloween.

  A dvd player. A can of snow for the Christmas tree. A floor mat for the back seat of the car. A electric train. A box of toothpicks for Grampa. I know this is a lot of stuff. But you can give me these and not give presents to Jake. Cause he broke my pencil.

  Frank

  Mr Claus

  Enclose is the bill for the chimney repair. You better pay up. Who do you think you are anyway? Who said you could land on my roof? You crashed into the chimney. Bricks go flying everywhere. And what is a person to do with a dead raindeer left on the roof?

  Mr Smitmader

  I want to know why you left me a monkey gong set last year?

  I didn’t even write you a letter.

  Why did my little brother get Chocolate covered Easter bunnies wrapped in Christmas wrappers?

  Matty

  I have only two hands you know. The Elves do nothing at all. And taking care of reindeers is a whole different thing. Those brats don’t deserve anything anyway. Who wants to eat all them cookies? Who said I’m suppose to do this stuff anyway? I just like getting out once a year and peeking into bedrooms.

  Santa

  Oh no. That’s a letter from Santa. Better not put that in.

  October 2012

  Christmas decorations can be costly, so it’s best to reuse the old decorations as much as possible. Spending time to get them fixed up can be a money saver.

  To make Santas sled and raindeers.

  Use a hollowed out pumpkin and two brooms for the sled.

  Us brown painted black cats for reindeers.

  If not enough black cats can be found, wait for thanksgiving and use some turkeys.

  Use the scarecrow painted red for Santa Claus.

  A few years back there were some complaints that the Christmas season was getting to commercialized. So we got to work on this. Now the holiday season starts on September first and ends the second week in January. Christmas season in lost somewhere in the middle of this. Have any other complaints, just mail them in, and we will fix them up also.

  Here at the North Pole we have been considering expanding are operation. We are thinking about moving into Halloween. We have a few ideas. So we’re putting them out here to get opinions on them.

  Santa wearing a pumpkin custom.

  Santa sticking his head into a big tub of water to bob for apples.

  Getting a white sheet and dressing Santa as a ghost. We’re already working on this project. We’re sewing all the elves bed sheets together.

  Collecting Halloween candy for recycling. Santa going from door to door trick or treating with his big green bag. The elves are busy cutting up last years wrapping paper to use to rewrap the candy.

  November 2012

  Some notes on how the Halloween season worked out this year.

  Santa at the pumpkin festival T-shirts didn’t sell as well as hoped.

  Sending letters asking for certain types of candy never worked well either.

  And it took far to long to get the bucket unstuck from Santas head. You know your suppose to use the old fashion wash tub for dunking apples.

  It didn’t help to sick your dog on Santa when he showed up treat or treating with his big green bag. We know it was September 23. But Santa had a lot of houses to get to.

  December 2012

  Here at the North Pole we have a lot of Thanksgivings turkey left over. We’re figuring out what to do with it.

  The last couple of years have been hard on the raindeers. We lost three raindeers during the last year or so. Their names are now on the raindeer memorial wall. Also there is a raindeer flu outbreak here. And the raindeer are moving a little slow nowdays.

  We’re looking for replacements. Of course we know it’s ridiculous to paint black cats brown. Cause they still can’t pull a sled. They can’t even get it off the ground. But we were all disappointed to find out turkeys don’t know how to fly. That’s how we lost one of the raindeers. Have no fear we have the best minds working on the situation. By Christmas Eve it will be solved.

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  Chinese Christmas Decorations

  It was four weeks before Christmas. Kris was, in his recently opened store, looking at his newspaper ad, which he was very proud of. It read: “Kris’ outdoor Christmas. All your outdoor decorating needs in stock."

  He was feeling good about the Christmas season since all his customers have gone away with all their outdoor decorations like the ad said they would.

  Then a man and women came up to Kris.

  The man said, "You don’t have any Kings."

  Kris never understood what he meant and replied, "What?"

  The man repeated, "You don’t have any Kings. We’re putting up a Christmas scene with the Wise Men meeting the King and you don’t have any Kings."

  Kris was embarrassed. He realized he had not even thought about a scene like that.

  So he said. "Could you wait a minute, while I check in the back."

  He went into the back room and looked on the Internet. He found the Chinese company he bought his decorations from. They did have Kings, and they would be shipped tomorrow to arrive in two days.

  Kris went back to the couple and said, "The Kings are temporary out of stock they will be restocked in three days."

  The couple left and Kris went into the back room to order the kings on the website. The Internet was down. So he dialed the toll free number to place the order. A Chinese man answered the phone. Kris was really embarrassed and frustrated by now since he never ordered kings to start with, so he didn’t have them in stock, so the ad was not true and the customers would get angry and now the Internet was down and he didn’t know the stock number and he didn’t have an order number and on and on.

  He told the Chinese man about what a big mess everything was and how he really had to get Kings in stock as soon as possible.

  He found the Chinese man being polite and understanding by repeating over and over, "Yes. I understand."

  Final the Chinese man said, "Yes. I understand. What you want. Ship tomorrow. Get two days."

  By this time Kris was talking like the Chinese man.

  So Kris said, "Kris must stock Kings."

  The Chinese man replied, "Yes. I understand. How many?"

  Kris answered, "Five."

  Chinese man asked, "Yes, I understand. How tall?"

  Kris answered, "Six foot."

  The Chinese man said, "Yes. I understand. Kris must stock kings. Five. Six foot. Sent tomorrow. Get two days."

  So Kris completed the order, hung up the phone, and was really happy that things worked out so well.

  In three days a large crate arrives, right on time. Kris eagerly opened the crate to get the Kings out and put on display right away.

  Inside he found Five Six foot tall Christmas stockings.

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  Poems

  A Cold Day

  On this cold day.

  Feel the fresh clean air.

  See the Oaks and Pines on this slope.

  Standing with care.

  Hear the wind sweeping through the trees

  The snow covering the trunks on a side.

  The cold air flows near the ground.

  The flakes of snow gently glide.

  Taste the new white snow on the leaves.

  Each icey twig hangs like a silver ray.

  The sun is round and small.<
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  On this short day.

  Touch the pine cones among the leaves.

  These cones have fallen on the ground.

  Making the mix with leaves and snow.

  The snow is falling thicker all around.

  Smell the pine needles and the cones.

  The light is dimming and it's alright.

  The small cold sun is sinking down.

  Another freeze begins on this slope tonight.

  The Christmas Boxes

  From the attic, put there last year.

  I brought the boxes and sat them near.

  In the boxes were lights and globes and tinsel by yards.

  And near the corner, were some old Christmas cards.

  Pictured were skating girls and scenes with boys

  and little children playing with toys.

  There were many decorations of different types

  There were angels, stars, and snowmen with pipes.

  There were reindeers, candy canes, some little dogs,

  manager scenes, sleds, candles, and tiny logs.

  Clouds and Snow

  The mountain is dark with snow.

  In patches of white.

  The sky is blue with clouds.

  Reflecting the light.

  The snow and the clouds.

  Seem peaceful and tame.

  How do they know.

  To look the same.

  Mars in the Night

  In October of eighty-eight.

  Which was a bit late.

  I looked at the stars.

  The brightest was Mars.

  A dog was barking.

  The moon was parking.

  On the side of the sky.

  I never knew why.

  The red planets’ orange glow.

  Went west with the star flow.

  And as the night grew longer.

  All the stars shined stronger.

  Then the nights slide past.

  And the orange didn’t last.

  And Mars dimmed its brightness.

  To be one in nights delightness.

  The book from the stack.

  Says its coming back.

  So I’ll look and see.

  In two thousand and three.

  Putting up the Tree

  I went out the back door into the yard.

  Among the drifts