The HUSH Series: (HUSH, HUSHED and JANE.)

by Sandra Raine

  Dominic was already in the bathroom waiting when I stepped out of the shower. He was leaned up against the bathroom sink. His arms were crossed against his chest. His legs slightly parted. His aura was like a canvas of confusion particularly on the way he was staring at me. I assumed he was both envious and repulsed by the overall appearance of my homecoming but I had been wrong before.

  After I was through drying off, brushing my hair, and my teeth, Dominic trailed me back into Tanya's bedroom. My clothes and under things were already laid out on the bed. I carefully, yet coyly removed the towel from around my body and quickly slipped into my bra and panties before slipping into another snug hugging tee and my own pair of jeans. I sat down at the edge of Tanya's bed and slipped on my black ballet flats. I was dressed and ready to head back to my house. My gaze faltered to the charcoal gray carpet adorning Tanya's lavish bedroom as soon as Dominic knelt down beside me. And it was in that moment when Dominic's rage became evidently clear: there was a gun depressing gently against my left temple.

  "If you gave any reason for Mr. Church to come looking for you, Jane, I'm going to blow your fucking brains out." I bit back my fear and closed my eyes hard and nodded. "I mean, and not that it concerns you personally, but he has done this before. . .taken girls from me, and I won't stand for it this time." Through a gut wrenching silence, Dominic stuffed his gun down the back of his jeans. Shifting to his other knee he then continued with, "Now a little anecdote about our thirty-six-year-old dear friend Mr. Church. Aside from having been in the organization for about fifteen years now, he was also my mentor, sort-of-speak. And he taught me many things, Jane. . .particularly how to handle guns and girls like you. You see, hon, Mr. Church and I. . .we're kind of the same, right down to our taste in girls, now meaning with you. And to be quite frank with you, you ought to be worried because Mr. Church and I. . .well," he paused to chuckle in thought, "we're very competitive, and I usually win because the tables are always turned in my favor, and Mr. Church isn't quite so thrilled about that aspect. And to be quite honest with you, Jane, I really don't give a fuck! However, today, with you, I do. And you need to take that very seriously. You see, Jane, and the way I see it, you're expendable. Why? Because it's a bigger world out there, and there are plenty of girls to take your place. But because I hold you special I will fight Mr. Church to the death, and now I'm referring to your death. I mean, have you ever heard the expression If I can't have her, no one can? 'cause that just so happens to be you, whether you like it or not." There is long pause that eerily settles within Dominic's envious rant of Mr. Church coercing me to choke back my fear for his safety 'cause if I hadn't known any better, and just by the way Dominic was speaking about him, I'd say Dominic was no more than two seconds away from storming out of his house and heading to Vegas to rid Mr. Church himself. And just when I thought Dominic was done speaking about Mr. Church, he abruptly grabbed me by the back of my hair and shoved his face into mine

  "I will NOT be made a mockery, Jane. And you will NOT make a mockery out of me!" And not knowing what to say, or how to respond to Dominic's threat causes my tears to stream down my face in heavy spools. Dominic let's go of my hair at the same time, soothing the back and its sides. "Now," he mused rising to his feet, "I want you to take me to my room and show me everything you fantasized about our dear friend, Mr. Church."

  Dominic was beyond pissed as he fucked me repeatedly on his bed: Beyond livid. Beyond enraged. Beyond inhumane. And I'd say that if he didn't beat me a dozen times because of it, he didn't beat me at all.

  For an hour and half I just laid there beneath him, doing nothing, responding to nothing, kind of like the way I had done with the other hundred men or so who have crawled on top of me to do their business only Dominic's business with me today wasn't for tortuous pleasure, it was for pride.

  What I fantasized about Mr. Church I made a point to keep to myself; sealing it within a treasure's box and then storing it to the farthest of my mind - tossing the key away, forever. And if there was one thing I would be taking to my grave, it was going to be that treasure box no matter how many times Dominic attempted to beat me, to rape me, to torture me into spilling my guts out about the contents of that box, I still wasn't going to give him the fucking satisfaction even if that meant death by his own hands. I would rather it kill Dominic than for him to know how I truly felt with another pimp other than him!

  Dominic backhanded me one last and final time before he leaped from his bed and stormed off to his bathroom. He slammed the door so hard that the entire walls in his bedroom shook. As for me, I just continued to lay there staring up at the ceiling, my mind focused on nothing but the unbreakable of my silence swaying around the room.

  The bathroom door swung open with Dominic tossing my clothes at me. "Get dressed. It's gettin' late." he snapped as he slipped back into his jeans, his shirt, and his shoes. He then stormed out of his bedroom without so much as a glance back.

  Dominic volunteered Tanya to drive me home. I had left Dominic sitting at the kitchen table counting money from the black duffle bag Justin had handed him earlier. Occasionally I glanced at myself through the passenger's mirror; my face was a sweltering red, and my upper lip had been slit. There were a few bruises sparsely forming up and down my arms while a partial of my thigh throbbed in pain. It was painfully obvious that Dominic had worked me over good this time. And instead of sobbing away as I always tended to do after a severe beating, I remained calm, impassive, content 'cause Dominic couldn't break me down.

  Tanya pulled her Beamer onto the circular driveway to my house and cut the engine, something I found rather odd considering that she and Dominic tended to leave their vehicles constantly running whenever they picked me up or dropped me off. Ignoring the peculiarity, I reached for the lever on my seatbelt and that's when Tanya unexpectedly grabbed my hand. I cocked my head and stared at her bemused instead of on the defensive.

  "You fell for him, didn't you?" Tanya mused all too correctly as she touched a nerve on my part. And like Dominic, I, too, wasn't about to give her the fucking satisfaction.

  "What difference does it make?" I exasperated, taking a deep subtle breath then calmly exhaling to mask my true emotions.

  "It makes a big difference, Jane. You got Dominic second guessing himself."

  "Well if your brother took the time to be a lover instead of a pimp, he wouldn't have room to second guess anything, now would he?"

  "Mr. Church is not all that."

  "Funny. Justin said the same thing about me."

  "Justin's an asshole."

  "And you're a Saint?"

  A silence.

  "I don't mean to rag on you, Tanya - "

  "Then don't." she snapped.

  "If Mr. Church is such a big threat to Dominic, then why does Dominic look to him for help? I mean, like this past weekend in Vegas, for example?"

  Tanya shrugged her shoulders and aimlessly ran her hand around the steering wheel. "He keeps business straight; keeps Justin and Josh and the other assholes in line. He keeps it simple, sort-of-speak."

  "So he's muscle?"

  "Something like that."

  "Did you sleep with him?"

  "There's no such thing as sleeping with pimps, Jane."

  "Okay," I rephrased, "Did you fuck him?"

  "Did you?" She countered. I clasped my mouth shut, and kept to my defenses. Tanya's slighted expression then suddenly softened into a certain genuine of trust. "This I will take to my grave, Jane. That I can promise you."

  "No. . .but I wanted to."

  "Hmm," Tanya droned, somewhat shocked, somewhat amused.

  "Jealous 'cause you, too, didn't get to fuck him?"

  Tanya ignored me and turned the key in the ignition. I shrugged my shoulders without another thought and got off her car. Closing the door she then surmised, "It's not the idea of getting fucked by a man like that that matters, Jane. What matters is the idea of having a man like that inside of you." And with those very last words, she slowly dr
ove off.

  Chapter 46

  Four days later I slammed the "work" cell up against my desk and buried my face into the palm of my hands and sobbed; this was the fifth night in a row Dominic had summoned me to "work" not giving my body any rest or any time to recuperate from all the stress.

  And "work" hadn't been very pleasant either, and not that it ever was. It was as if Dominic and Justin and Josh had gathered up the scum of the fucking universe and lined them along the sidewalks of the motels and charged them a penny each to screw the hell out of me.

  And Dominic's hold on me was no longer a tightened noose around my neck; it was a dog leash with optimal pull for both Justin and Josh, particularly Justin who had been taking advantage of making money on my grievances.

  After I finished sobbing, I got up from my desk and crept downstairs; my parents were in the family den still sipping on wine and watching TV when I said my 'goodnights' to them, and snuck out the front door.

  Justin was waiting for me in the Bentley. The car was still idling as I opened the back passenger's door with great hesitancy before settling myself uncomfortably on the back seat. Not saying a word, Justin then shifted the gear into drive, making a quick turn-a-bout before driving off, and I assumed to another motel somewhere in Phoenix since we were headed south but I was mistaken when the Bentley made an unexpected left hand turn into Dominic's neighborhood. My stomach then tensed the second the Bentley maneuvered through the driveway where I spotted Dominic's Hummer, Tanya's BMW, Justin's Mercedes, and a dark crème colored Jaguar.

  Justin hurried off the Bentley but kept to his place at the front end of the car. His expressionless eyes were on me, particularly when I exhaled and slowly opened the back passenger's door.

  "Damn, girl!" Justin then exclaimed, grasping my arm hard as I cornered around the front end of the Bentley. "You're good to bring death!" he fumed while I stammered on my heels as he proceeded to tug me through the front door. Tanya and Josh were already standing in the foyer looking every bit as bothered.

  "Where are they?" Justin said still grasping my arm and kicking the front door shut with his foot

  "The kitchen," Josh answered.

  Justin then proceeded to tug me toward the kitchen. And once we stepped through the threshold, I just about fainted.

  "Come here!" Dominic seethed, snatching me from Justin's grasp. I whimpered.

  "What's the point in this, Dom?" Mr. Church then coolly inquired while keeping one eye on Dominic, the other on me.

  "I believe you've been misled, Henry." Dominic remarked impiously only he was more clearer in his statement, particularly when he grabbed the back of my hair and pointed his gun to the right of my temple forcing me to yelp. Mr. Church's jaw clenched while his body shifted furiously.

  "You dumb motherfuckers!" He then callously chastised. And not only was he referring to Dominic and Justin, but to Josh and Tanya who were standing at the opposite end of the kitchen observing in silence.

  Dominic cocked his gun, and the sudden threat of death forced me to cry out. "If I didn't have any respect for you, bro, I would take that as an insult."

  "Then what's stopping you? Pride? Them?"

  Dominic yanked down on my hair. I cried out again. "No. This bitch here!"

  "Ah!" Mr. Church laughed. "Yes. She can be a bit of problem. Not easy to give up, is she?"

  "If I were you, bro, I would just leave."

  "I'm afraid that's not easy, bro. I've traveled quite a distance. And with lots of money."

  "Yes. And to collect on something that isn't yours, might I add."

  "You know I can make three times as much with her than you can. And I've got connections that even supersede your own."

  "In Vegas you may have. . .but this is Arizona, and we're quite connected here, thank you."

  "What?" Mr. Church scoffed, "You think I can't compete?"

  "No doubt you can, Henry. But your fortunes aren't stable. And they're not going to risk selling you something that isn't permanent and that won't cut them in on a share, long term."

  "What if I speak to them directly?"

  "They won't talk to you. And you can forget about the Czech."

  "They did with Kelly, Annette."

  Dominic, in a fit of rage but most importantly, frustration, tugged on my hair tighter, slipping the gun from my temple to the very trembling corner of my mouth. He depressed the barrel. And then I screamed when I felt that barrel embedding itself comfortingly beyond the crease of my mouth.

  "Take a good goddamn look, Henry. Does SHE look like a Kelly or an Annette to you? You think they're going to sell this hot little piece of pussy to someone like you? Those fuckers are makin' bank on it alone - "

  "And what are you getting out of it return, Dom? Pleasure? Necessities? A big fat fucking head, perhaps?"

  "And what the fuck do you plan to gain out of it, Henry? More money? Another girl to add to your sickened trophy collection? A fucking new wife, perhaps?"

  "Dominic," Tanya suddenly, yet anxiously intervened. Both Dominic and Mr. Church hardened their gazes on her. "Helena and Bob are going to be home soon. And Bob doesn't need to be seeing this." Dominic turned an abrupt cheek while Mr. Church shook his head and chortled.

  "Something to add, Mr. Church?" Dominic sassed within a smirk, almost toying with Mr. Church's aggravation.

  "'Helena and Bob'. . .give me a fucking break!" Mr. Church then leaned across the Ray's kitchen table and retrieved the silver briefcase which had been lying there openly taunting Dominic's thirst as well as Justin's 'cause they had taken turns glancing at the money several times, and with interest.

  Then, "Diamond, do you have something to tell our dear friend Mr. Church here before he goes?" Mr. Church quickly looked in my direction. And clearly remembering Dominic's previous forewarning I needed to lie, and fast, as in the next few seconds 'fast' before I became the next Jenna.

  "I. . .I like it here. . .with Dominic." I stammered behind obvious wounded tears as I fought beneath my true feelings; feelings that were dangling on the very tip of my tongue. Dominic, from the corner of his mouth and the corner of my strained eye, smirked in contentment.

  "See," he then retorted proudly, pulling back his gun from the corner of my mouth, and lessening his hold on my hair. "She's happy here." Dominic shoved his gun down the front of his jeans and pulled a cigarette from the pack of cigarettes that were sitting on the table and casually lit it. Extinguishing the match he then paused to coolly insult, "You don't have to take your money and run, Henry, you can stay and be a high paying customer."

  "And what?" Mr. Church sassed, stepping into Dominic valiantly. "And give you the satisfaction of spending MY money on your greed, Justin's gambling debts, and Josh's whoring?" Mr. Church then shook his head comically, gently easing the cigarette from Dominic's fingers. He then dragged hard on the cigarette, inhaling then exhaling the bittersweet stench of smoke in my direction before callously instigating, "And besides, why should I pay for that hot little piece of ass when I already had it for free, huh, Dom?" Mr. Church dragged on the cigarette one last time before nestling it back in between Dominic's fingers. Mr. Church then wrapped a tender arm around my waist and pulled me to him. He kissed my trembling cheek before his lips, sensuous and delicate, traveled to the base of my ear where he then regrettably apologized, "Sorry, Diamond."

  And just like that, Henry Church walked out of my life.

  And before the pieces of my broken heart had the chance of breaking into a thousand tiny pieces, Dominic spun me around and belted me hard across the face. And the unexpected blow landed me on the floor. But since that little bout of gratification wasn't enough to satisfy Dominic's ego, much less his jealousy, he then picked up his leg and kicked me straight in the chest forcing to loose my breath. My chest felt like it literally caved in coercing Tanya to yell from the top of her lungs.

  "Dominic, you son-of-a-fucking-bitch!" Tanya then cleared the kitchen within a matter of a second and lunged at Dominic with one of her fi
sts catching him in the face. Without hesitation, or conscience, Dominic grabbed Tanya by her hair, pulled back his fist and slugged her straight in the face landing her over the island's butcher block.

  "Get this fucking cunt out of here!" Dominic seethed to Justin and Josh who were fast at his side, picking Tanya up by her arms and legs. And together they dragged her out of the kitchen while she continued to kick and scream and curse. 'Dominic, you motherfucker!. . .You piece of shit!. . .You fucking animal!. . .You fucking animals!. . .You. . .' was all I remembered hearing from Tanya before her voice trailed off thus sealing my fate beneath Dominic's jealous rage; a rage 'cause it took Mr. Church to be that stick to break the Camel's back, in this case, Dominic's pride.

  For the next few minutes Dominic took the pleasure of beating me to a pulp; I even thought I heard one of my ribs crack. And as I laid there on the floor beaten, bloodied, bruised, and broken with my God given soul literally clinging to the afterlife, Dominic then had the malicious audacity to lean over my body and threatened, "If you don't get that motherfucker out of your head, Diamond, so help me fucking GOD. . .I'll break every fucking bone in your body!"

  Days later, with me contemplating a severe fall from Tanya's rooftop as we both sighted stargazing to my parents horror, I was back in Dominic's life, and back in the routine of "work", and still yet I couldn't get Mr. Church out of my head. I didn't tell anybody, not even God. And that by far was the best part about being human.

  Chapter 47

  Late July -

  I was escorted to another house party but it was in Avondale. It was some grown man's birthday, and from what Tanya told me, he had an array of sexual needs that he demanded to be met.

  Thinking on the many ways this man was about to violate my body left me feeling scared and anxious for the night to end. But when I arrived at the man's house with Dominic and Justin in tow, my fear instantly turned into jubilation when I learned I wasn't going to be alone at this man's so called "birthday party" 'cause Chloe was already there accompanied by two other girls - an older black girl named Tia, and a younger Asian girl named Bai.