Love Me Always

by Peyton Banks

  “You would think I would get a full glass for these prices. Go ahead and fill her up Amy.”

  She sighed heavily, and this time there was no doubt about it. She rolled her eyes to the heavens before looking at my future husband and frowned.

  “You get a half a glass of wine for the price on the menu. The small amount I poured was for you to taste it to ensure it meets your standard, but now that I know you have no standard. I’ll just pour the half a glass and go about my business.”

  Well damn, Amy! Tell us all about ourselves why don’t you? I struggled trying to hold in the giggle that was fighting to escape. I looked at Leon, and he was holding back a laugh too. As soon as Amy left the table grumbling about stupid people ordering wine trying to be fancy, but had no idea what they were doing, we burst out laughing.

  “Oh my goodness! I guess she told you, Leon. You better stop trying to be so damn fancy and stay in your lane. When she comes back ask her for some Kool-Aid™.”

  “Excuse me, Miss, can I get some Kool-Aid™ - Red!”

  We erupted into laughter that seemed to be contagious because the people at the surrounding tables started laughing too. They had no idea what they were laughing at but were happy to join in on the fun.

  That was the kind of life I wanted. One where Leon and I would laugh at stupid things and have fun no matter what we were doing or where we went. The rest of the evening went by in a similar manner. We laughed and joked and had fun. I kept waiting for a lull in the conversation where he would get down on one knee and ask me that question that most girls want to be asked by the man they loved. Nothing! Crickets! Then he did it.

  “Astrid, I think you should order dessert.”

  “Leon, you know I never order dessert when we come here. I always eat too much of my main dish.”

  Then it donned on me. He was going to hide the ring in the dessert like on that one movie I forced him to watch a while back. He went on and on about how corny it was. This had to be it. I sat waiting for Amy’s salty butt to bring me my future hidden in the folds of the chocolaty goodness topped with vanilla ice cream. We shared the dessert, but I noticed Leon wasn’t eating. Digging through the delicious treat with my spoon, I must have looked like a maniac. I ate and ate until there was nothing left to do but lick the bowl. Nothing! What the…

  3

  Leon

  I watched Astrid devour the dessert that she claimed she didn’t want. She had been acting funny all night like she was waiting for something. I had no idea what was going on with her, but I was nervous. I needed to tell her my plans, but I didn’t want to see the disappointment on her face. She had been so happy all night, laughing and joking and talking about old times. My guilt was beginning to cause pain in my stomach. I passed on dessert because of it. Hell, it was more fun watching her kill that chocolate lava cake and ice cream.

  This would be our last time eating here together. I wanted to soak in every second. She was so beautiful. I had loved Astrid since we were ten when she walked into the gym where the guys were playing basketball, and strutted right up to Mark D. He was the tallest kid in school and the meanest. That didn’t phase Astrid any. She approached him, snatched the basketball from his big hands and went to the other end of the gym to shoot baskets alone.

  All the boys stood there shocked. She acted like she hadn’t a care in the world as she shot basket after basket. Once the oxygen reintroduced itself to Mark D’s brain, he marched down the court to where she was. Everyone held their breath waiting to see what would happen. When he went to grab the ball from her hands, she swiftly moved out of the way causing him to stumble. He called her a C U Next Tuesday and that was all she wrote. Astrid hauled off and kneed Mark D in his nuts!

  He went down to his knees where she grabbed him by the hair and made him apologize. That was the moment I knew she would be mine. It took me until we were sixteen to convince her, but she finally gave in and agreed to be my girl. We had been inseparable ever since. That’s why my announcement was going to be so difficult. I had loved her most of my life, and now I was going to break her heart. Before I did that, I needed to make love to her one last time. Selfish? Maybe, but it was what I needed.

  Noticing the bit of chocolate sauce on her finger, I took her hand, looked into her eyes seductively and licked the delicious treat from the tip of her index finger. She audibly gasped, and her eyes went feral. I would miss this part of her the most. The part where she was nothing but pure vixen. That’s who I needed in my bed tonight. Astrid was the queen of the good girls, but when she was aroused, she could be mistaken for a sexual goddess. The problem was, she was the only sexual goddess I had ever experienced. Lately, my eyes had been wandering, and I wanted to sample other women.

  The need to spread my wings started out as a whisper in my head when I got my first job out of college and started interacting with more women without Astrid by my side. It took me by surprise just how attracted I was to them. Now that I have been immersed in the corporate world for a few years it was screaming so loudly, I couldn’t contain it. Instead of cheating on Astrid, which I would never do, I thought it would be best if we broke up. But I needed one more night with the love of my life. It had to be special so we would always remember it.

  “Leon, what has gotten into you tonight? You never show this much PDA.”

  Astrid giggled, letting me know she was enjoying my attention as much as I enjoyed lavishing it onto her. She was a strikingly beautiful woman. I could never see her with another man, but I had to take my chances. When I was done with my wild ways, maybe she would be there waiting for me.

  “It’s all your fault, baby. You look so beautiful tonight. I can’t wait to take that yellow dress off you and discover what you have waiting for me underneath.”

  “Who says you’re getting lucky tonight?”

  “The way you moaned when I licked your finger told me everything I need to know.”

  She laughed it off, but the heated look in her eyes told me she knew I was right. Her lack of witty comeback was also a confirmation that I would be taking her home with me tonight. Before she could change her mind, I paid the bill and ushered her to the door. It was time.

  When we arrived at my place, I led her straight to the bedroom. I didn’t want to waste time chatting about those stupid movies she loved so much. If I had to hear one more time about how Michael Jackson’s performance of the “Scarecrow” in The Wiz was genius level and he deserved an award I might never be able to get hard. It might have been her favorite movie, but she went too far with it. Nobody should know every twist, turn and kick of the choreography, let alone the entire soundtrack and every character’s lines.

  “Wait, Leon, aren’t we going to watch television for a bit? I think the Wiz is on BET™.”

  “Not tonight we aren’t. I can’t wait any longer to have you, bae. That dress has a brother thirsty.”

  A Kool-Aid™ smile grew on her face as if she knew a secret, and then she strutted to the bedroom without another peep. There it was. She was acting strange again. I didn’t know what was up with her, but I would just have to deal with that in the morning. Tonight I needed to say goodbye my way.

  “Astrid, why don’t you bring that fine ass over here and let me worship it?”

  My lady giggled as I placed my hands on the silver tab that held her dress together. As I lowered the metal teeth revealing her naked back to me, I realized she wasn’t wearing a bra. How did I miss that all night? Her perky breasts were just the right size, and I soon found myself unable to resist their charm.

  Her…

  The way Leon touched my body caused shivers to run up my spine. He was always so good with his hands. His mouth was no slouch either. The man really knew how to make my body come alive. We had been each other’s firsts. The summer before we went off to college, we decided to give each other our innocence. Once the flood gates opened, we took every opportunity to explore each other’s bodies, learning what we liked and what we didn’t. The results
were phenomenal. We became experts at pleasing one another and had a lot of fun along the way. We did just about anything and everything over the years except butt stuff. Of course, he wanted to explore that option, but I wasn’t having it.

  I was raised to be a good girl, but I decided giving myself to him would be alright because he led me to believe marriage was on the table. My mother’s voice sometimes made unwelcomed appearances in the back of my mind. Maybe if I had made him wait, I would be his wife already, instead of this thirsty excuse of a girlfriend hoping, wishing and praying for a proposal.

  Case in point, he had me salivating all night and he still hadn’t popped the question. I wondered if he would do it in bed. It wasn’t the most romantic way to ask someone to spend the rest of their life with you, but I would take it. I would just lie to my parents when they asked how he proposed. Just as my mind started wondering how he would ask, a jolt of electricity shot through my body causing a loud moan to escape my mouth. My spot. The one right below my collarbone. He knew it drove me wild.

  “Oh, Leon! Please do that again.”

  “What, this?”

  I squealed with delight as he attacked my favorite erogenous zone with his glorious mouth.

  “Yes, bae! That right there!”

  My man’s hands were all over me. He had me naked and in his bed in record time. Leon made passionate love to me. The kind of love you read about in those romance books my cousin was always devouring. He was gentle, yet there was no doubt my body would remember him being there. He had never been this fervent in our love making before. I was so overwhelmed during our dual climax that I felt tears escape my left eye.

  My God, this must be the moment I was waiting for all night. He had to ask now. I looked up at him expectantly, but the bastard rolled over, tossed the condom in the trash and was snoring before I could blink. Well, damn. I guess this is what they mean by being ridden hard and put away wet. I lay there in a cold wet spot wondering where things went left. Was I living in a dream world? I mean, the way he made love to me felt like forever. It was like he wanted me to remember this time for years to come. With a huge sigh of disappointment, I drifted off into a restless sleep.

  I was dreaming of wedding dresses, tiaras and tulle. My heart was happy when I looked down at my hand and saw the diamond Leon had chosen for me. It was just my style. Classic and understated, but still a gem. I was spinning in the mirror when I felt someone shaking my shoulders. As the fog cleared, I realized I was asleep and being yanked from my bliss by the call of an angry man. What the…

  “Ash! Astrid, wake up! We need to talk.”

  “Damn, Leon, can’t this wait until I brush my teeth?”

  I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and frowned at the man who left me dangling on a hook last night. The joy I had in my dream returned with the thought that maybe this was it. Then I looked into his face. He wasn’t looking me in the eyes. In fact, it seemed as if he was avoiding looking at my face at all. Something was up.

  “No, Astrid, this can’t wait. It has gone on long enough and now you need to know the truth.”

  I sat up in the bed looking for my bra and panties. Oh yeah, the dress I had on last night didn’t allow for a bra. My thong was flung across the room, and I refused to get up from the sheets to go get it. Fluffing up the pillow behind me, I sat back against the headboard waiting for whatever it was I needed to know.

  “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to spit it out. Ash, I am moving to New York next week. I got a very lucrative job offer, and I accepted it.”

  “What? When did this all take place? You never told me.”

  “I didn’t want to tell you until I knew for sure.”

  “But, Leon, I can’t just up and leave my job and my family at the drop of a dime.”

  “Yeah, about that. I am moving, but you aren’t coming with me. I need to do this on my own.”

  “When did you start making life altering decision without consulting me? What exactly are you telling me?”

  He ran his hand over his Caesar cut and let out a long sigh. His eyes looked pained, and his body was tight. I knew then he was never going to propose to me. The lightbulb went off in my clueless head promptly waking me up from my slumber. He was leaving me behind. I wasn’t going to make this easy for him. If he wanted to dump me after seven years together, he was going to have to say it out loud.

  “Ash, I love you, but I need to explore my other options. I don’t think we can survive a long-distance relationship. In fact, I don’t want to even try. I need to experience other things in life. I think we need to separate.”

  There it was. He wanted to see other people.

  “Where the hell did this come from? I thought we were happy. Don’t you love me anymore?”

  “Bae…”

  “Don’t call me that!”

  “I will always love you, Ash. You are my first love and will always have a special place in my heart. I simply need to be free to date who I want. I don’t want to be tied down anymore.”

  “So this is about another woman or women? You want to be a hoe. Spread your seed wide. Play the field, huh?”

  I thought my lungs would implode. The air that I was attempting to inhale was refusing to enter my body. I started hyperventilating. There was a weird ringing in my ears, and I broke out into a cold sweat. Suddenly my body lurched, and I emptied my stomach all over his bed. The fool had the nerve to rush over to me and try to hold my hair back like I was some drunk sorority girl.

  “Don’t fucking touch me! Never again!”

  “Bae, don’t say that. We are best friends. I still love you, Astrid. I just need to find out who I am. Staying here in this small town will only stifle me. I need more out of life.”

  And there it was. I wasn’t good enough. I became hysterical, slapping his face and screaming obscenities at him. How dare he? I gave him seven years of my life. He wanted more. There was nothing I could do to make this man see me. After seven long years together, I thought we were on the same path when he was on a whole other continent.

  “You were supposed to love me more than anything. More than yourself. I would never treat you like this. There were several guys that wanted a chance with me over the years, but I ignored every advance. That’s what a person in love does. Not once did I ever think I wanted to explore my options! You are a selfish asshole and don’t deserve my love.”

  I jumped up from the soiled sheets, scrambled to the other side of the room and pulled on my thong and dress. I was only able to zip it halfway, but I didn’t care. I needed to get out of there. FUCK! I didn’t have my car. I would just walk. Snatching my purse from the side table by the entryway, I flung the front door open with him calling out behind me.

  “Astrid, wait! I’ll take you home. Just give me a minute.”

  He stood there in his drawers calling for me to return to the house. I was done with him. I didn’t have the stomach to be around him another second. My feet would just have to hurt because I was not getting into his car. I was a mile into my trek when I calmed down enough to realize I had a phone and could call for reinforcements.

  “Hey, slut! You finished fucking your fiancé long enough to call little ole me and give me the details of your engagement?”

  “Te!”

  I couldn’t even make a coherent sentence. All I could do was cry out her nickname and pray she picked up on my vibe. We were usually in sync, so I didn’t worry too much.

  “Ash, what’s wrong? Am I about to catch a case?”

  “He… he… he broke up with meeeee!”

  It was all I could do to get those words out. My heart dropped out of my chest and landed on the asphalt. I didn’t even have the energy to bend down and scoop it up. Nope. It would lay there for eternity baking in the sun as bugs crawled in and out of it. It would serve as a warning to stupid girls everywhere who thought falling in love was so grand.

  “Where are you?”

  “I am walking home. Can you come get me?�
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  “Baby girl, I need you to tell me where you are.”

  I looked around for a street sign but couldn’t see one. I was horrible with directions. I could get there, but don’t ask me how. If there wasn’t a landmark around, you were ass out.

  “I don’t know where I am. Just come get me.”

  “Listen, I know you are upset, but did you hear what you just said to me? How the hell am I supposed to come get you and you don’t know where you are? Fuck it. Text me the bastard’s address. I’ll just head that way. You couldn’t have gotten that far on foot.”

  And just like that, my cousin saved the day. She was able to find me by using GPS to go to Leon’s house. I was still on the main street. My scatterbrained butt was just too out of it to realize it. Within minutes I was riding safely in Shante’s car headed to the store for a tub of my favorite cherry vanilla ice cream. It was my go-to flavor when my emotions were in turmoil. Nothing else would do. Te allowed me to stew in my misery as she drove me to our apartment. I was thankful that she talked me into being roommates even after we graduated from college. Shante and I were thick as thieves since birth. She was more like a sister to me without the sibling rivalry thing.

  I sat on the couch with last night’s funk marring my body. At the moment I didn’t care about personal hygiene. I needed ice cream if I was going to make it through the next few minutes. Shante handed me a spoon. That’s when I noticed she had one too. What was she doing? This half gallon was mine!

  “What do you think you are doing?”

  “Helping you eat this ice cream.”

  I wrapped my arms around the container, pulling it to my chest for safety. I glared at her and gave her a nasty look.

  “I know your stanky ass ain’t sittin’ here acting like I can’t have any. Not after I got out of my bed and rescued you.”