“Good, cos I'd hate to think I slept in the Land-Rover for nothing.”
“It's okay. It won’t happen again. He likes Guns N' Roses.”
“Yeah. I can see how that'd be a deal breaker.” Digger leaned back and pulled a roll up from behind his ear. “You like him?”
“Yeah.”
“You gonna try an' make a go of it?”
Mouse shrugged. “What's the point. It'll never work.”
“Yeah, you're right. No way a decent bloke like that's gonna meet your exacting standards.”
“Don't be a twat, Digs.” She shoveled a forkful of rice into her mouth.
Digger shook his head. “Jus' wanna see you happy, gal.” He raised a hand to silence her. “I know, you don't need a man to make you happy, but getting old without no one to love ain't a barrel of laughs. Give 'im a chance. If it don't work out, you've always got me.”
“I'm only twenty-eight, Digs. And it's just a one time thing. He'll probably be gone by the time I get back.” She handed the plate back to him, picked up the water containers, and walked through the trees towards the meadow.
~oOo~
Nitro knew that Mouse wanted him to go, but he wasn't done with her yet. He hadn't been exaggerating when he'd told her that he'd had the best sex ever. Mouse might not be someone who jumped into the sack with anyone, but once she was there, she was completely without inhibitions, and Nitro wanted more of that.
There was a tiny, nagging voice in the corner of his brain that was pointing out that, while he fell in love at the drop of a hat, he'd never fallen in like before. And he did like Mouse... A lot. She was funny, really funny. And smart—she tapped into a part of him that very few saw. She was brave, too. She was more of an outlaw than he would ever be.
Then there were the practicalities. Nitro didn't much like people intruding on his private life, and guarded his personal space carefully, and while he liked her van, he liked running water more. He buttoned his fly and opened the door. And he wasn't a fan of having to traipse through mud every time he needed to take a piss.
Of course this would all be academic, if she kicked him out on his ass.
“How are you with engines, mate?” Digger wandered over and popped the hood. “We need to get this running again, or Mouse is gonna find herself homeless.”
Nitro shrugged. “I can take a look, but I'm no expert.” Ignoring his objecting bladder, he poked his head under the hood. “Jesus.”
“Bit Heath Robinson, eh?”
Nitro had no idea who Heath Robinson was, but whoever he was, he was no mechanic. “Did this ever run?”
“After a fashion.” Digger chuckled. “It smokes like a bitch, and rattles so much it nearly shakes your teeth loose. It don't have to run smooth, all it has to do is get to Bath.”
“What's in Bath?” Nitro peered into its oily depths.
“Nearest encampment. Most people are planning on moving on over the week or so; having your mates show up put the wind up 'em. These are gentle people, an' they don't want no trouble.” Digger pulled at a piece of hose. “Don't want Mouse left here on her own.”
“You'll stay with her, though?”
“Yeah, but I ain't much use against a bunch of thugs.” Digger turned and narrowed his eyes. “I'd hate to see her get hurt.”
“No one's gonna hurt her, Digger.” Nitro straightened up as the subject of their conversation approached. “Although without a new engine, this ain't going nowhere.”
“So you can't fix it?” Mouse wandered over, took the cigarette from Digger's mouth and threw it into a bucket of sand next to the front wheel.
“I ain't Macgyver, darlin'. This is fucked.”
She sighed. “Then so am I.”
“I can get you an engine.” No you can't, idiot. Who do you think is gonna pay for it?
“I'm skint, Nitro. Don't worry about it, something will come up.”
“It won’t cost you anything, leave it with me.”
He'd hoped that he'd make her smile, but she just frowned and walked away. “It's not your problem.”
“Mouse! Wait up.”
“I don't need rescuing, biker boy.”
Fuck. Ignoring Digger, he followed her back into the van. “Why d'ya have to be so prickly all the time? I work in a scrap yard, I can get you an engine, so just shut up and accept my help.” She opened her mouth, and he silenced her with a kiss. “I want to help, Mouse.”
“Why?” She pushed him away.
“cus I like to see you smile.” He kissed her again. “I'm gonna have to split. Wanna come with?”
7
Mouse couldn't quite shake the feeling she was being railroaded. When Nitro had suggested that maybe she could go for a ride with him, she had fully intended to refuse. She didn't have a helmet, and she really wasn't sure about going to his place. Digger, of course, had pointed out that there was a lid among his meagre possessions, and then Nitro had started talking about his power shower. Any arguments she might have had after that lacked conviction.
As they'd set out along the track to where his bike was parked, Nitro, as usual, did most of the talking, but by the time they'd hit the lane leading to the old farmyard, he'd fallen silent. Mouse glanced up at him as they trudged through the farmyard. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” He gave a grim smile. “Not the biggest fan of walking.”
“Because of your leg?”
Nitro shrugged and changed the subject. “You ever ridden before?”
“Yeah, a few times.” Mouse refrained from mentioning that she'd never ridden on the back of an ugly fucking chopper before. Instead she ran a finger along the decal on the tank. “Nice paint job.” She couldn't deny that whoever had painted it had talent.
“Thanks.”
“You did it?”
“Yeah.” He took his helmet from the handlebar. “It didn't turn out as well as I woulda liked, but for a first attempt it ain't bad.”
“I'll say.” Mouse grinned. “You're full of surprises, biker boy.”
It had been a while since Mouse had last ridden, and she'd almost forgotten how much she enjoyed it. Nitro didn't hurry, and while she still thought his bike was ridiculous, she couldn't deny how comfortable it was, even if she was slightly embarrassed by the racket it made as they hit Bristol and rode through the city streets.
He'd surprised her... again, when he pulled up outside a shop in St Pauls and a large, brightly dressed West Indian woman hurried outside and pulled him into a hug before he'd had a chance to take off his helmet. “Ah, Christopher. I've been thinking you've been avoiding me. There's a parcel inside for you.” Her eyes fell on Mouse, and she gave a wide smile.
Nitro grinned. “This is Mouse. Mouse, this is Joy, the best landlady in the world.” He chuckled. “And the second best cook after my grandma.”
Joy positively simpered. “He's such a charmer. And such a handsome boy.” She nudged Mouse. “Hang onto him, my dear.”
Right now, she wanted to slap that smug grin from his face. Mouse smiled. “He knows how to turn it on, alright.”
Nitro smirked and unlocked a door that was squeezed between the shop and a barber's. “Go on up, I won’t be long.”
Nitro's flat was pretty much as she'd expected it to be. She doubted that he'd chosen the furniture, and, apart from the small bookcase and single crutch leaning on the wall in the open plan kitchen-cum-living room, there was nothing to indicate who its tenant was. Mouse picked up a book that was sitting on a low coffee table and began thumbing through the pages. There really was much more to Nitro than met the eye.
He walked in, dumped a small package onto the chest of drawers by the door and hung his cut over the back of a chair. “I'm gonna take a shower, wanna join me?”
Mouse closed the book and followed him into the small bathroom. If she was honest, she'd have preferred to shower alone, but as he pulled his tee shirt over his head, her mouth forgot how to work. He really was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen.
Nitro
grinned and sat on the toilet seat. “You planning on showering fully dressed?”
While she'd never had any body issues, Mouse felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny. She didn't know how to be alluring, and there was no way on earth it was possible to take para boots off and look sexy. Nitro didn't seem to mind, though. He dispensed with his own clothes, removed his foot, and turned on the shower. With one hand on the wall, he hopped into the stall and held out his other hand. “Come on, Mouse. Get that cute ass in here.”
As soon as she joined him, Nitro pulled her close and kissed her. Mouse closed her eyes and allowed the sensations of the hot water, his big, strong hands and his mouth, to wash over her. Her own hands ran up his beautiful chest and grabbed his hair as his tongue plunged into her mouth.
Nitro pulled away and took a bottle of shampoo from the shelf. “Turn 'round.”
She hadn't wanted to stop kissing him, but as his long fingers began massaging her scalp, Mouse's disappointment was forgotten. Oh God. Was it possible to come from having your hair washed?
“You are so beautiful.” Nitro bent and nipped at her shoulder. “So fucking beautiful.” His hands slid down her body and came to rest on her hips. “I ain't letting you go.”
Mouse's skin tingled at his touch, and she leaned back against him as his tongue trailed along her neck. Shit, she could fall so hard for him.
“I love you, Mouse.”
She froze, then turned around and pushed him away from her, completely forgetting that he wasn't able to step back. Nitro fell back and grabbed the shower curtain, pulling it down on top of him as he sprawled onto his back on the bathroom floor.
“No you don't.” She tried to step over him, but he grabbed her ankle. “Let me go.”
He yanked her leg, pulling her on top of him. “Told you. I ain't letting you go.”
“Don't be a dick, Nitro.” She didn't like the way this was going.
He flipped them over and pinned her to the floor. “I ain't kidding around, Mouse. You an' me… We're good together, you know it, so stop tryin' to fight it.”
She could feel his cock, hard and hot, pressed against her stomach, and her core clenched as he grabbed her wrists and held them above her head. Nitro grinned and brought his mouth down onto hers.
Mouse opened her mouth... and bit him on the bottom lip.
“Fuck.” He ran his tongue along his lip. “So that's how you wanna play it, huh?” He dipped his head and bit her shoulder. “Wanna play rough, punk?”
“I want you to get off me.” Mouse could feel herself starting to panic. “Please, Nitro. Don't do this.”
He lifted his head and looked deep into her eyes, then rolled off her. “Shit, Mouse. I was only messing. I didn't mean to scare you.” He sat up and pulled a towel from the rail on the wall. “Here.”
She took the towel and wrapped it around herself before scrambling to her feet and heading into the next room. Already the panic was starting to dissipate, but she needed some space to get her head together before she left.
There was a hideous orange sofa next to the window, Mouse sat down and hugged her knees as her heartbeat returned to normal. She closed her eyes. Fuck, she'd known that this had been a bad idea.
The sofa dipped, but she kept her eyes tightly closed, even as a finger tucked her hair behind her ear. “I'm sorry, Mouse.” She felt him move closer. “Mouse?”
Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and looked at him. “I'm okay. I just...” She swallowed and shook her head, as memories pushed their way to the front of her brain. “I'm okay.”
“No you ain't.” He took her hand. “You were scared, an' I know that you don't scare easy.” He grinned. “You were like a fucking animal last night.”
There were a million reasons why she should just leave. And yet, as she sat with her hand in his, Mouse couldn't remember what they were. It had been a long time since she'd trusted her instincts—people, in her experience, were good at hiding their true intentions, and sometimes it was just easier to not trust anyone, herself included—but Nitro, in the short time she'd known him, had overridden her doubts and fears. He was an unapologetic arsehole, but for some reason, her gut was telling her that she could trust him. She took a deep breath. “The only person who ever told me he loved me put me in hospital.” She gave a shaky smile. “And for the record, I don't believe you.”
Now it was Nitro's turn to take a deep breath. “I know what I feel. I ain't promising to love you forever. I could hate you tomorrow for all I know. But right now, I do love you.” He pointed to the space where his foot should be. “When I got hit by that car, no one thought I'd survive, an' I spent nearly six months in a hospital bed. I swore to myself, that if I ever recovered, I'd grab life by the balls. Life's precious, Mouse, an' it can be snuffed out in an instant. If something makes you happy, you should hang on to it.” He kissed her. “An' I reckon we could make each other happy.”
“And if we don't?”
He shrugged. “We go our separate ways.”
Mouse shook her head and stood up. “I do like you, but..” She ran her fingers through her hair. “Fuck, Nitro... I... I'm gonna go.” She hurried toward the bathroom before he had the chance to argue.
What the hell was happening? Mouse started to gather her clothes from the bathroom floor. People didn't say shit like that. Maybe her nutter alert was broken, and he'd slipped under the radar. Whatever the reason, she didn't need some lovestruck biker mooning after her. He clearly wasn't stable, and she wasn't sure that she was. She pulled her jeans over still-damp legs and dragged her tee shirt over her head—the hell with underwear, she needed to get out of there while her sanity was still intact.
“Mouse.” He sounded normal enough, a bit too sexy, but no hint of crazy. “Why are you freaking out?”
Mouse kept her eyes fixed on her boots; he was too naked, and if she looked up, she'd lose her voice again. “You want a list, biker boy?”
He leaned against the wash basin. “Yeah, I think I do.”
“You're full of shit.”
“That's it? Pretty short list, punk.”
“It's the abridged version, but it pretty much sums it up.”
“Look at me.” He smiled as her eyes met his. “I ain't shitting you.”
“You don't know me.”
“Nope. But I don't see what that has to do with anything. You could walk out of here an' get hit by a bus, I could lay down my bike... anything could happen. People spend way too much time trying to fix the past and see into the future, but the fact is: we've only got this moment.” He shrugged. “They're just words, Mouse. Ain't nothing to get twisted outta shape over.”
“Words have an impact, Nitro. They mean something. You, of all people, should know that.”
“Not when they come outta my mouth, darlin'.” He grabbed the edge of her tee shirt and pulled her closer. “When you were in that shower with that fine ass pressed against me, I loved you, so I said it. I love you when I fuck you, why shouldn't I say it out loud?”
“When you got hit by that car, did you hit your head? I'm not kidding, you have a skewed way of thinking.” Their bodies were almost touching—he was winning again. “Aren't you American bikers supposed to be all moody and brooding and shit?”
“Not this one, punk.” He grabbed her jaw and kissed her. “An' there's nothing wrong with my way o' thinking. You don't have to love me back, an' if you wanna let some asshole from your past stop you from opening up, that's okay, too.” He kissed her again. “I won’t say it again, if it makes life easier.”
Mouse's arms slid around his waist. “Promise?”
“Scout's honour.”
“Were you a scout?” She shivered as he nipped her neck.
“Nope.” He pulled the sleeve of her tee shirt and sank his teeth into her exposed shoulder. “Wanna check out the bedroom?”
8
Nitro loved cuddling.
Unlike his brothers, who disposed of the club girls faster than their condoms, he liked his fucks
to stick around. He could never understand why anyone would deny themselves a warm, soft, sweet-smelling body pressed up against them. When he found one that fitted, one whose skin was soft enough, or who smelled the sweetest, he tended to keep a hold on them and fuck them almost exclusively. Of course this did present a few problems—he'd had to shake off stupid little tarts, who'd convinced themselves that he was gonna make them his ol' lady, a few times.
For some reason, this made him more of an asshole than his brothers.
Mouse, it seemed, wasn't quite so enthusiastic about cuddling.
She'd been enthusiastic enough about fucking, though. He'd worried that she was gonna split, but she was no match for him, and had quickly changed her mind. Women were so easy to lay; why shouldn't they be? They liked fucking as much as men. Sometimes a guy had to work a little harder, but the right words at the right time usually did the trick. And of course once they'd given in to the inevitable, as long as a guy knew a few moves, they'd keep on coming back for more.
Weirdly, winning over Mouse that way had felt kinda hollow.
And then, she turned her back to him.
Unsure what he was supposed to do, he'd turned his face to her, and put his arm around her tiny waist. He'd half expected her to push him away, but she seemed cool, so he moved closer until they were pressed together, fitting each other so perfectly that it felt as though they were a single organism. And then she'd linked her fingers with his, and his heart had soared as she allowed him to hold her close.
Her hair was still damp and smelled of his shampoo, her beautiful, strong body was warm, and her skin was like silk. Shit, he could hold this one forever. He kissed the back of her head. “Mouse...”
She moved slightly. “Don't say anything, Nitro. You'll only fuck up, if you do.”
Nitro grinned and closed his eyes. He really did love Mouse.
~oOo~
Mouse wasn't a big fan of cuddling. In an ideal world, she'd get up and leave after sex, and couldn't imagine ever sharing her bed—her space—with anyone. When Nitro had put his arm around her, she'd expected that wave of panic to wash over her as he pulled her close, trapping her in his embrace, but none had come. His hold was loose, and even as he'd moved closer, she'd known that if she moved away, he'd release her.
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