“No one will take him away, Mouse.” Nitro held her against his chest and stroked her hair. “I'll make sure of it.”
He drove her nuts, was cocky, impulsive and annoying, but only Nitro knew what she needed right now. Digger and Maggie loved her, but they would've fussed or tried to get her to talk. He just held her—not so tight that she'd feel trapped, but tight enough—and waited until the panic subsided. Only when her heart stopped feeling like it was going to burst from her chest, and she relinquished her hold on him, did he stand and pull her to her feet. “Okay?”
Mouse nodded. “Yeah.”
Nitro wiped the tears from her cheeks and kissed her. “Where did that come from?”
“Not sure. We were talking, and...” She swallowed. “I remembered something.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
Mouse shook her head. “Not now. Maybe later.”
“Whenever you're ready.” He took her hand and led her out through the yard to the bench by the farmhouse door. “We think we've come up with a way to get the finances for the church.”
“Oh?”
“Mags will re-mortgage this place.”
“Oh, no. Absolutely not. You'll not suck her into your harebrained schemes.”
“How about you hear me out before you go off on one of your rants.” Nitro rested his hand on her thigh. “Mags will use this place as collateral to buy the church. It'll be in her name until we've paid her back, then she'll hand over the deeds to us.” He grinned. “Tell me that isn't an awesome plan.”
“And if we can't afford to pay her back?”
“She has a church which she can sell on or rent out.” He kissed her. “It's foolproof.”
“But it isn't just the cost of buying it.” She was still convinced Nitro was living in Cloud Cuckoo Land. “There are surveys, planning consent. God knows how much repairs will cost, and that's before we even think about how the fuck you turn a church into a house. I've squatted in one. Have you any idea how cold they are?”
He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. “Don't you go worrying your pretty little head about that. You just concentrate on cooking our kid and leave all the details to me.”
“That is probably the most sexist and condescending you could ever say.”
Nitro laughed. “Nah. Pretty sure I could come up with something better than that.”
Mouse leaned against his shoulder and admitted defeat. “Please don't try.”
30
Nitro had taken to calling her Moby. He thought this was hilarious. Mouse thought it would probably result in a fork in his eye.
In truth, she wasn't that big, but the neat bump had seemingly appeared overnight, much to his amusement. She didn't mind his teasing most of the time, because it was offset by the fact that, for reasons best known to himself, he found it as hot as hell and couldn't keep his hands off her.
Although there were times when that also was likely to result in a cutlery-related injury.
So far, her pregnancy had been pretty easy. She'd not suffered from morning sickness, and her mood was pretty stable—although Nitro might've thought differently—and as she moved into her third trimester, there were days when she found herself looking forward to meeting their baby.
Mostly, though, she was shitting herself.
They were currently living in an attic room at Hope Farm. After weeks of jumping though hoops, they'd got the go-ahead to convert the church. But even with Mags' help, they were going to need every available penny they could lay their hands on, so had decided that Nitro's flat was a luxury they could no longer afford.
Denny had suggested that Mouse could work in the Drip a couple of nights a week, and after a few days of arguing, and a few nights of her withholding sex, Nitro had agreed. She'd never worked behind a bar before, but found, to her surprise, that she loved it, and fully intended to continue after the baby was born. Nitro was being a twat about it, of course, but Mouse knew he'd let her have her way eventually.
Mouse shifted as the baby kicked her, then leaned back against her pillows and turned her attention to the laptop. When she wasn't at work, or threatening Nitro with bodily harm, she spent much of her time trawling the internet for bargains, and both the barn at the farm and the church were rapidly filling up with everything from a bathroom suite to a spiral staircase. “Yesss.” She mentally high-fived herself as she got the winning bid for the range.
Nitro looked up from his book. “Don't go after any more kitchen stuff till I've measured up.”
“I might've already bid for an entire kitchen.”
“Might've?” Nitro looked at her over his glasses.
“If I get it for what I've bid, it'll be the bargain of the century.”
“If it doesn't fit, it will be money down the crapper.”
“Then you'll have to make sure it does fit, won’t you.”
Nitro put his book and glasses on the bedside table and rolled onto his side. “How about you quit shopping, an' give your ol' man some love.” He ran his hand over her belly. “You are so goddamned hot.”
“In a sec. I just wanna see how my tiles are doing.” Mouse brushed his hand away. “Have you seen them? They're gorgeous, and only a penny each. Bugger. Two pence.” She scowled and entered another bid. “Ha, take that. Five pence.”
“Jesus.” Nitro flopped onto his back and closed his eyes. “I've created a monster.”
Mouse looked down at her beautiful man and closed the laptop. “You love me.”
He opened one eye and gave her that dorky grin she loved so much. “Yeah, god help me, I do.” He took the laptop and laid it next to his book, then reached up and pulled her down to him. “I love you, punk.” Nitro grabbed her hair and kissed her roughly, his teeth grazing her lip, and his tongue plunging into her mouth.
Her skin tingled as his hand ran down her body, and that place low in her belly fluttered as his long fingers dug into the soft flesh at the top of her thigh.
“Mouse.” It was practically a growl as he pulled her closer and sank his teeth into her shoulder, and his hard, hot cock pressed against her belly.
Oh shit, she needed him inside her so much. Mouse heard herself whimper as his fingers moved tantalisingly close to where she needed it to be. She pushed herself up, and straddled him as her desperation grew. “Fuck, Nitro. Just touch me, please.”
Nitro grinned and moved his hand across her thigh, then back up her body to her swollen tits. “Here?” He ran his finger across her nipple, sending shivers through her body. “Like this?” His other hand rested on her belly for a moment, then worked its way, too slowly, downward. “Or here?”
Mouse jolted as his thumb brushed against her clit. “Ah, Nitro!”
His fingers pushed between her folds, and she rose up to let him push them inside her. Oh god, that felt so amazingly good. She moaned as his fingers pushed deeper inside her and his thumb continued its unrelenting assault, sending tiny shockwaves along her entire being, but still she needed more. “I need...” Her fingers wrapped themselves around his cock and she squeezed, causing Nitro to arch and groan. “Please... I need this.”
She almost sobbed as he pulled his fingers from her and brought his hand to his mouth, licking each finger slowly. “You taste so good.” He reached out and ran a finger along her lips. “Taste how sweet you are.”
She could taste herself, and him. And the combination was intoxicating. Her core clenched as her lips closed over his fingers, sucking every last drop.
“Good?” Nitro trailed his forefinger down her throat, between her breasts, over her swollen belly... “You want more?”
“I want...” Mouse squirmed as he brushed against her clit, so lightly it could have been a breath of air. “Your cock.”
He grinned. “It's right there, Mouse. Help yourself.”
Maybe it was because she was pregnant, or maybe he was in some way bigger than usual—Mouse wasn't really in a position to analyse it, right now—but somehow he seemed to fill h
er more than he'd ever filled her before. She moved, slowly at first, relishing the feeling of him inside her, wanting it to last forever. Then, as their eyes met, she started to move faster. She reached behind her and dug her short nails into his thighs, and as his fingers brushed against her hard little nub, her head fell back, and her body began moving of its own accord.
Mouse was no longer in control of her senses. Her body wasn't her own, and she no longer knew where she ended and he began. They were truly one. Heat radiated through her body, and she felt herself...or him... spasm as she climaxed. She collapsed onto him, soaking his chest with her tears.
Nitro wrapped his arms around her. “Been a while since I've made you cry.” He lifted her chin and pressed his lips against hers. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” She rolled off him and tucked herself under his arm. “Perfect.”
~oOo~
Nitro closed his eyes and allowed the feeling of contentment to wash over him. Wild horses wouldn't get him to admit it, but the last few months had been as stressful as hell. He'd been shot, and killed a man—neither of which he was fully recovered from—and his ol' lady was knocked up. And now he was jumping through flaming hoops, trying to co-ordinate contractors, planners and architects while holding down as many jobs as he could fit in.
His plan was to do most of the work himself, but the rewiring and plumbing work was beyond his capabilities. A lot of the work was, if he was honest, but he figured he was a fast learner, and there were plenty of books and tutorials online. With luck, and a following wind, they could bring the project in, on time and under budget. He grinned and ran his fingers through Mouse's hair; thanks, in part, by her uncanny ability to source everything at a rock-bottom price.
They wouldn't be in by the time his kid was born, but the bare bones should be done. And he quite liked the idea of Mouse having Mags and Digger around for support. Because, of all the things he had to worry about, it was her he worried about the most. Throughout their short relationship, he'd been the driving force. He'd wanted her, and had waved aside any misgivings she'd had. He'd bullied, coerced, done whatever it had taken to break her down, and when she'd told him she was pregnant, he'd done the same to convince her that she wanted this kid.
But she didn't.
He didn't know why, but Mouse was terrified. He'd thought that when she'd gone for her scan, she'd fall in love with the life growing inside her, but she'd turned her face away, and refused to look at the screen. She wouldn't discus names, or buy stuff for the nursery. And the only time they'd talked about a birth plan, she'd told him emphatically that she would be having the baby at home, and refused to discuss it further. The rest of the time, she acted as if she wasn't pregnant at all. He was beginning to think she was in deep denial.
Nitro pulled her closer and buried his face in her hair. He'd done this, and no matter what he did, he couldn't make it right.
Mouse reached up and tugged his beard. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” He kissed her the top of her head. “I'm gonna go down an' get a drink, you want anything?”
“I'll get it.” She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. “No point you putting your leg on, and I want to raid the fridge without Mags giving me the evil eye.” She pulled on some leggings and one of his tee shirts. “Shall I bring you a sandwich?”
“Nah, just some water.” Overcome by the urge to hold her, he sat up. “An' a hug before you go.”
Mouse crawled across the bed and put her arms around his neck. “You really are a sap, biker boy.”
He grinned. “Yeah I guess I am.” Nitro lay back and closed his eyes as she trotted down the stairs. Maybe he couldn't make it right, but he would always be there for her.
~oOo~
“Mouse!”
Mouse opened her eyes and reached for her phone. Ten-thirty. Shit, she could sleep for England these days. She stretched and sat up. “What?”
“Get your fat ass down here, an' explain to me why there are two guys unloading a piano in the yard.”
Ah.
Mouse scrambled out of bed and pulled on her clothes, then hurried down the narrow staircase to get yelled at.
“Well?” Nitro was standing at the foot of the stairs, with his arms folded.
“I wanted a piano.” She pushed past him and headed through the kitchen and out into the yard. “Can you put it in the barn over there.”
“There's a fucking organ in the church.” Nitro watched as the two men pushed it across the yard.
“Yes, but we're taking it out.”
“We're taking it out because you didn't want it.” He ran his hand across his head. “Is this a hormone thing? Please tell me it is, an' you're gonna stop buying crap once this kid is born.”
“I didn't want the organ because it's where the kitchen is going. And no, it isn't hormones. I just wanted a piano. I thought it could go in the gallery.”
“You want me to get it up a spiral staircase? Oh, this gets better and better. How much did you pay for it?”
“Not much, only a few quid.”
“Does it work?”
Mouse shrugged, “Dunno. It'll probably need tuning.”
“I'm almost scared to ask. Can you actually play the piano?”
“Nope.”
“Great. Perfect. You've bought a piano that neither of us can play, that might need tuning, and I have to haul up to a gallery.”
Mouse grinned. “Yep.”
“Why?”
“Told you. I wanted one.” She slipped her hand into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. “The delivery guys need paying. They agreed on thirty quid.” Nitro snatched the wallet from her hand and pulled out three ten pound notes. Mouse grinned a little wider. “Plus a tip.”
“Jesus.” He pulled out another tenner. “Why did you want one, exactly?”
“Dunno, really. I wanted one when I was a kid.” She laid her hand on her stomach. “Thought it would be nice for this one.”
Nitro laughed and pulled her into a hug. “That's the first thing you've bought for him.”
“Or her.” She wasn't sure what had brought about his sudden change of mood. “And yeah, I guess it is. I suppose I should start looking for a pushchair and stuff. I don't want to clutter Maggie's place with too much baby stuff, though, so I thought...”
She was silenced by his mouth on hers. “Shit, Mouse. I thought...” She shook his head. “Don't matter.” He pulled his credit card from his wallet. “Don't buy secondhand crap for him, though. I want only the best for my boy.”
“Or girl.” Mouse slid her arm around his waist. “What did you think?”
“That you didn't want this kid.” He pulled a face. “That I'd pushed you into having it.”
“I've wanted this baby for a long time. But I am scared.”
Nitro looked up as the delivery guys walked over for their cash. He handed them the notes, then put his arm around her shoulder and led her back into the kitchen. “You gonna tell me why?”
“Having a kid—being responsible for another human being—that's a massive deal. I never really knew my mum, I was taken into care when I was young, but what I do remember about her isn't good. I think that maybe that's the reason I get a bit freaked out sometimes. I'm sort of scared I might take after her.”
“You're gonna be a great mom, Mouse.” He ran his hand across her stomach. “You'll be fierce an' protective, an' our boy is gonna know what if feels like to be loved every day.”
“Or girl.” Mouse reached up and put her arms around his neck. “I love you, biker boy.”
~oOo~
They were going to be okay. Nitro grinned as she filled the kettle and popped a couple of slices of bread into the toaster. The Anarchist and the outlaw, the angry feminist and the sexist pig. They shouldn't be. It should be impossible for them to be in the same room together without sparks flying, but somehow they worked. He didn't know how, and he didn't care, but he knew it was more than lust, or even love. Those things were transient, the
y always passed, and when they did, unless there was something else—something deeper—what was left would never be enough.
What they had—him and his little punk—was a connection, an understanding of one another that went beyond all the superficial bullshit. Despite their differences, despite the fact that they drove each other nuts, under the skin, they were the same.
He knew her, now. Really knew her, and he loved her more than life itself. And with every layer he peeled away, he loved her more.
She completed him. She was the final piece in his jigsaw. With her, there was no need for bravado, no reason to hide any weakness, because when he was with her, he was invincible.
Mouse was all he needed.
And Mouse? His little warrior who wasn't as tough as she looked. His punk with issues. What did she get from this? What did he give her? Nitro's grin widened. That was an easy answer.
He gave her whatever she needed.
She frowned. “Why are you grinning like a dork?”
“Just thinking.”
“Oh. Should I be worried?”
“Nope.” Nitro laughed and wrapped his arms around her. “I love you, punk.”
EPILOGUE
“What the fuck is this?
Mouse wiped the bottle and put it back on the shelf, then turned round. “It's a collection jar for the women's refuge.”
“I can see that.” Denny scowled and slammed it back on the bar. “What's it doing on my bar?”
“They've had their funding cut again. If they don't raise twenty-five grand by the end of the year, they'll have to close.” Mouse gave the chapter president her best smile. “It's a good cause.”
Denny gave a defeated sigh. “So not only are we saving all the fucking wildlife in the southwest, but now we're saving women too. Fine. It can stay. But you can take that poster off the board.”
“What poster?”
“You know what poster. The CND one.”
“But...”
“Take it down, Mouse.”
“Fine. But don't come crying to me when we're in the depth of a nuclear winter, and all your hair has dropped out.” She grinned. “Well, your remaining hair.”
Itinerant Child Page 26