"Hakeem, your afternoon lesson..."
Hakeem's glare stopped him in his tracks.
"Did you have to tell him about Rohini?" he accused.
"What are you talking about?" Sabre protested. "Where's Kilig?"
"He's gone! He dumped me! Leave me alone!"
Hakeem sounded hysterical, so Sabre quickly retreated from the room. He went to call Sanjana and told her to go to Hakeem, and then he went back to Katar.
"Where's Kilig?" he asked bluntly.
"Kilig's gone." Katar's sharp reply only confirmed his fears. "This morning he passed on everything. I'm the new headmaster. If Hakeem can't do his lesson, he better start looking for another job – I don't care if he's bilingual, I'll find another teacher."
Sabre frowned, but nodded. He couldn't understand Katar's hostility towards the couple. And he couldn't believe Kilig had done the unthinkable – dropped his beloved Hakeem to go where?
Sabre went to the palace and asked for Nightsun. If the Genn magic user hadn't seen Kilig, he could surely do magic and tell him where he'd gone.
The blond Genn stared at him with his sky-blue eyes without rising from his desk.
"I'm sorry, Sabre, Kilig left this morning with my daughter and Kyler Darklight."
"Where are they headed?"
"Havenstock, the Varians' former capital. Kyler has family there."
"Where they on foot or horseback, or...?"
"Sabre. Kyler is a shape-shifter. They flew off this morning and you'll never be able to catch up by Human means."
"Oh." Disappointed, Sabre thanked the Genn and went back to the school.
He found Sanjana holding Hakeem, still seated on the floor. She looked hopeful at him, but he shook his head. Hakeem was quietly sobbing against her.
"Will you calm down?" she said a little impatiently. "How do you expect to get back Kilig if you keep crying your heart out?"
"Kilig dumped me!" Hakeem screamed. "I hate him! I hate you! I hate you all!"
Sabre grabbed Sanjana's arm and pulled her away from Hakeem.
"Let's go, Sanjana, he's not worth our time," he said watching Hakeem curl up into a ball and cry.
"Where is Kilig?"
"Flew off to Havenstock with the half-bloods. We can't go after him, so when Hakeem calms down, maybe we can convince him to behave. Useless talking to him now, though. Let's go."
He dragged her out of the room, upset by Hakeem's reaction and the fact that Kilig had gone away without saying goodbye to anyone. Who knew what had happened between them to make them split so suddenly...
***
Kilig observed the tall walls with square towers of the northern town. The gate was guarded, but they let Kyler through without questions, and he was able to follow. Falcon's house was in the main square, in the palace that had been the Varian king's and was now the Governor's palace, where Marco Varian lived with his family. Falcon was Marco's Lord Protector and childhood friend, so they still lived under the same roof.
By then Kilig had learned enough of the northern dialect for basic communication. He knew the Magical Races could speak any Human dialect thanks to their own inner magic, but guessed Guisarme had to rely on Hakeem's lessons as much as he did. His heart sank at the thought, but when he remembered why he left, he hardened his heart. Hakeem was a selfish and spoiled young man who had oppressed him with unjustified jealousy and then had cheated on him – he better forget him.
Again the palace had guards – much like in Godwalkar – but Kyler took them through without being questioned. Falcon had dark hair and eyes like his cousin, but was completely Human. No wings could spread on his back, and he certainly couldn't shift shape. His eyesight was keener than any Human's, thanks to his father's blood – which was kind of funny, since Winged Morgan was shortsighted by Sila standards, much like Winged Stephen, hence he spent a lot of time on the ground.
Falcon had a wife, Alexandra, who was the Emperor's sister and had just given him their first child. He mentioned using twin swords to fight, so Kilig asked him for lessons, while Guisarme decided she'd learn the use of the northern broadsword from Kyler, who had just one blade, but it was magic.
Dinner was venison – something that wasn't common in the south, but hares and deer abounded in the forest outside of Havenstock's walls – and they drank ale. There wasn't much wine this far north, since it was often too cold for vineyards, but Kilig wasn't a wine-lover, so he wouldn't miss that. He was curious to experience the colder weather, to see snow and learn new skills while exploring different traditions. He wondered if that was the reason why Saif had followed Hakeem's mother – he was bored with the south and decided to try something different... But no, Saif wasn't mad at him when he'd left, breaking his heart.
Night fell over the city and the guests were taken to a suite. Guisarme and Kyler took the bedroom with the curtained bed, and Kilig stayed in the antechamber, where there was a couch that was just perfect for him. He needed to get used to more spartan bedding anyway.
"You sure you don't want to share the bed with us?" Guisarme asked with an impish smile.
"No." He averted his eyes, thinking about Hakeem's bed-sharing with Anelace and Sabre first, then Leonel and Corabella. He wasn't going to do that – ever.
"Think tomorrow you'll be able to talk about it?" she insisted, serious now.
"Maybe. Good night, Guisarme. Thanks for bringing me here."
She nodded and closed the bedroom door. Kilig lay down and stared at the wooden ceiling as the candle slowly burned out. When darkness wrapped the room, he sighed and finally closed his eyes. He felt empty, but he knew he'd survive.
***
Hakeem woke up in anguish and his hand went to Kilig's side of the bed only to find it empty. He opened his eyes in the dark, suddenly awake and aching. Kilig was gone. He'd heard Sabre tell Sanjana he'd gone north with the half-bloods who had used some magic trick so he was probably already halfway there – if not there itself, and it would take months to catch up.
Hakeem gulped the lump in his throat, but tears still reached his eyes. He should have known better. Why did he allow Leonel to sort of seduce him again – only to hurt him? Leonel didn't love him. He had cheated on Kilig with someone who didn't care about him. No wonder Kilig had dumped him.
Now he didn't know what to do with himself and it took ages to go back to sleep. He woke up late and was late for his class – after completely missing the previous afternoon's lessons – so Katar summoned him to his office when he took his lunch break.
"Hakeem, I don't care if you screwed up with Kilig. This isn't the Assassins' Guild anymore – unfortunately – so you'll have to make up your mind. Will you keep teaching regularly, or do you want to follow your acharya? Because if you intend to stay, I will not tolerate further lateness on your part."
So Kilig and Guisarme had protected him, somehow. Katar didn't care about him, and would take away his job if he didn't pull himself together. He wasn't an assassin, and would soon lose his other job. He wondered if Leonel would take him on as assistant, since he now had plenty of work and might need help. Not that he'd ever trained with a blacksmith, but he knew weapons...
"You realize that if you no longer teach here, you will have to leave the room you're sleeping in, don't you?" Katar concluded with a glare, since Hakeem hadn't said a word.
"I understand, Katar," he said, lowering his eyes. "I won't skip another lesson."
He went to the canteen, but he wasn't hungry. If he was kicked out of the school, he didn't have a place to go. Well, there was Leonel and Corabella's, but he wasn't sure they'd want him there as a permanent resident. As a bed toy yes, but for the rest... Hakeem knew Leonel didn't really want him around, he was only humoring his wife.
Brother Smile saw him sit in the courtyard after the afternoon lessons, thoughtful.
"Are you all right, Hakeem?"
"Um... no. Tough decisions to make."
"Why, what happened?"
"Kilig left."
/> "Without you?"
"Yes. I cheated on him."
"Oh, that's bad."
"He hates me now." He touched his neck, imagining Kilig's fingers squeezing. He should have killed me. It would have been less painful than going through... this!
"Why don't you join us, Hakeem?" Brother Smile suggested, patting his shoulder like he did with his own students. "Become an Itinerant Friar? You should take a vow of chastity, but it seems a small price to atone for your sins..."
Hakeem looked at the monk who had become almost a friend in the months he'd spent in Godwalkar and at the school.
"I haven't sinned," he snapped. "It wasn't lust."
What was it, then? Why did he do it? He loved Kilig, why did he allow Sanjana first and Leonel five years later to convince him to have the threesomes?
"I was just stupid," he muttered. "Twice. Can't blame Kilig for dumping me."
"The Supreme Being would forgive you, and spending the rest of your life in his grace would probably help," Brother Smile insisted.
"No, it wouldn't. Thank you, but no. The only thing that would help is finding Kilig and begging his forgiveness. I'm sure he's compassionate enough to give me a second chance."
I sure hope he is. But how do I find him? How do I get to Havenstock without money?
Maybe Katar ought to pay him for his teaching. With a new resolve, he knocked on the headmaster's office door to get what he could with his resignation.
He didn't have a lot of money when he went to his room to pack. He'd have to work on the way. He pulled out an old map inherited from his father and spread it on the bed, leaning to study it. He found Hurlevent (close to his home village), and then his finger slowly moved until he found Havenstock.
He knew the Emperor had gone through the mountains and the Genn tunnels, but he didn't know any Genn who could take him that way. And he didn't think Nightsun would help him with a spell. He straightened himself and stared at the map with a sigh.
He'd have to go on foot, via Darantasia and Jevina and then around the central massif up to Havenstock. Going via Hurlevent and his home village didn't appeal to him, since the journey was longer. Passing by the place where he'd grown up, stopping at the cabin where he'd met Kilig... no, that would hurt too much. He'd said good-bye to that humble home and feared the ghosts haunting it – his parents were still in the logs, along with the memories of his final training with Kilig. And simply remembering that first night at his father's deathbed made his heart ache even more.
But what if Kilig was gone when he reached Havenstock? Should he try to wait in Godwalkar until Kilig came back? But when would Kilig come back – if he ever came back? If Kilig didn't want to see him again, he wouldn't come back.
He'd have to leave the room in the school in the morning anyway. He might as well head for Havenstock, maybe he'd meet Kilig on his way back...
***
Kilig's first lesson with the twin swords took place in the Havenstock palace armory. Falcon gave Kilig two swords of identical size and weight, and started showing him how to use them. They had shorter blades than Kyler's sword and the scabbards could be worn on one's back, unsheathing them from over the shoulders.
It took some attempts to swiftly unsheathe the swords, but when it came to sword-play, Kilig felt much more confident. He wasn't young anymore and hadn't been practicing much lately, but it all came back after the first hour. Falcon was younger than him, but suddenly he felt half his age again, listening to Saif's voice as he learned a new skill.
He didn't even notice Guisarme learning the broadsword with Kyler in the same room, concentrated as he was on the twin swords and Falcon's words that sometimes escaped him. Luckily Falcon was ready to repeat or change the sentence a little so he'd be able to understand what he was saying.
At lunchtime, Kilig sat with Guisarme while Kyler talked to his cousin.
"So, are you up for a talk now?" she asked, staring at him with her sky-blue eyes.
"Not really," he muttered. He didn't want to think about the reason he was here, and what he'd left behind.
"Come on, Kilig. What happened between you and Hakeem?"
"It's over, Guisarme, and I do not wish to talk about it," he answered bluntly.
She pursed her lower lip before speaking.
"Remember when Saif dumped you? I thought you couldn't exist without him, but you proved me wrong. And now, twenty years later, you're on your own again. You should know by now you don't need anyone else to feel complete."
"True." He pondered. "Do you think there's something wrong with me? I mean, everybody else seems so taken with breeding and sex and all that, that sometimes I wonder – am I the only monogamous man of the world?"
"No, I also cannot have more than one lover at a time."
"But if you were in a relationship and a gorgeous young man walked up to you, would you have sex with him? Or a former boyfriend you were madly in love with but who's been history for years?"
She stared at him, thoughtful.
"No, the past is past. It's gone. As for a new opportunity... I don't know, Kilig. There should be a very strong immediate physical attraction to make me cheat on my current lover."
Kilig smiled ruefully.
"I should have chosen you instead of a childish lover," he muttered.
"Aw, come on, Kilig! Do you really think that if Saif hadn't dumped you, you'd still be with him today?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "How long was your longest relationship?"
She chewed on her lips, staring into space as she considered the question.
"Five years," she said at last. "Much like you and Hakeem. Well, you made it to almost six, so you're better, I guess."
"And why did it end?"
"We grew tired of each other." She shrugged. "We changed. Went on different paths. I guess that's what happened with Hakeem – he was never a real assassin, was he?"
"No, not really, but he wasn't a family man either. And a very reluctant teacher. I don't know, I don't think he has figured out what he wants to be yet. And I'm tired of waiting and forgiving."
"Uh-oh... what did he do?"
"It was just sex, says he still loves me, but he did cheat on me. Twice. I'm just tired of his selfishness – probably being an only child made him that way."
"So you can blame it on Saif." She winked and smiled.
He opened his mouth to object, then realized the joke.
"Guisarme..." he chided.
"Not funny, I know." She chuckled. "You make me feel like Kyler with his cousin Falcon, who never understands his humor."
"Really? Did Kyler tell you or do you understand enough of the northern dialect to have figured it out yourself?"
"Both." She grinned. "Don't worry, Kilig. You'll be all right."
Kilig took a deep breath.
"Yes, I'll be all right," he whispered to himself. He didn't need anyone to feel complete, that much was true. He'd been alone for fifteen years until Hakeem had barged into his life – Saif's legacy. But the passion was almost gone and Hakeem's behavior wasn't really changing, so...
I'm better off without him. Here's to a new life of adventure.
***
Hakeem left Godwalkar and went west on a well-traveled but unpaved road, keeping the central massif to his right. When the tallest towers of Godwalkar vanished behind the hills, he stopped looking back, and marched on, determined. The Emperor was building inns at regular intervals along the roads to ease traveling in his vast territory, so by the time the sun went down, Hakeem found one of those to spend the night in.
Dinner and a cot weren't that expensive, but if he kept sleeping in inns he'd finish the money he had when he reached Jevina. There was Darantasia first, though, so he hoped to find some kind of temporary job there to further finance his journey. He had no idea of how many days it would take him to get there, but the innkeeper said probably about a week, depending on how fast he walked or if he could hitch a ride on a cart or a wagon headed that way.
Now that he was far from the capital, there were fewer travelers around. The inn was full, but as he proceeded away from the main town, the stops got less busy. On the fourth night the inn was almost empty and he was approximately midway between Godwalkar and Darantasia. He was sick of lonely nights and tried to strike a conversation with the two other customers – a farmer and his son who were headed to a nearby country fair – with no luck. The pair obviously didn't want to be disturbed.
He wondered if in Darantasia he could look for company, but he had no idea of where to look. He'd only had sex with Kilig – and the two couples who had dragged him into a threesome – he wasn't really good at finding company. Unless company found him. Maybe he could go to a public bath in Darantasia and show off his perfectly toned body and...
What am I thinking? Am I a prostitute? Why can't I be on my own? I made Kilig leave, I deserve to sleep alone until I convince him to give me a second chance!
With this thought, he went to sleep alone one more time. The crowded inns meant common rooms where he could hear other men breathing or snoring, but that night was particularly lonely, since the father and son slept in the other common room.
He woke up grumpy, counted his coins once more and decided to skip breakfast. The trip was more expensive than he had calculated, he definitely needed to find work in Darantasia or he wouldn't get much farther.
He was kind of hungry, but he set off boldly, walking briskly in the cool morning air. The dusty road soon entered a forest of tall trees and Hakeem wondered if he could hunt his next meal and save some money. But he didn't see any wild animals from the road and he didn't dare leave the main path, lest he got lost in the unknown forest.
And then he found a log across the road, blocking it. He looked around, listening to bird songs, wondering if it was an ambush. But then, he didn't have much, and looked like a vagabond, so hopefully nobody would bother stopping him. Maybe the log was a real fallen tree.
He started walking around it, and a man jumped down from a tree to block him.
"Hello, gorgeous. What are you doing out here?" the man asked with a crooked smile.
Kilig & Hakeem Page 14