by Tricia Owens
“Don’t tell me you painted those,” Neil said, pointing at the walls.
“I’m honored that you believe I’m talented enough to paint that. I probably could, come to think of it, but I’m kind of busy with hockey and being famous.”
“They’re nice.” Neil twisted around to look at the other art that Adrian had framed and set within the wall-to-wall bookcases on the opposite side. “Didn’t know you were such an animal lover. Or is that typical of Swedes?”
“I think it’s just me. I like the cute and cuddly. Lambs, kittens, baby foxes—if it’s got big eyes and is fluffy, I love it.”
“This is a giant prank, isn’t it?” Neil made a show of looking beneath the cocktail table, even though it was one solid hunk of wood. “You had someone come in here and re-decorate your place just to pull my leg.”
Adrian palmed the back of his neck, sheepish but loving it. “Hate to ruin your fantasies about me being a big, macho stud, but what you’re seeing is the real me. On the plus side, I don’t wear pajamas with footies.”
“Thank god,” Neil muttered, prompting laughter from Adrian.
Smiling, he stared at Neil’s profile until the other winger began to squirm.
“How you haven’t outed yourself by now is a mystery to me,” Neil said into his wine glass.
“I’m not allowed to like Scandinav—”
“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.” Neil set his glass down on a coaster on the table. “You’re blatantly obvious. As in painfully obvious. How has someone not figured it out? Or are there players who know?”
“No one knows,” Adrian replied honestly. “But that’s not because I don’t trust my friends with it. I’m a private guy, believe it or not. I don’t feel like forcing things on my friends that they don’t need to know. If they know, they may have to defend me one day. Or choose not to. That’s not fair to them. It’s none of their business.”
“Then you’ve never hooked up with another guy in the league? Before me?”
Adrian smiled at him. “You’re my first, Neil.”
A hint of red tinted the tips of Neil’s ears. “I’m not flattered.”
“Aren’t you? It doesn’t turn you on knowing I passed up every hot stud in the league to be with you?”
“That implies you know who are the gay players.”
“I know a fair few. Don’t you?”
Neil reached for his glass again and took a large swig. “I don’t ask and I don’t look. Hockey and sex shouldn’t mix.”
“Before you, I would have agreed with that.”
Startled blue eyes shot to him. “Listen, I told you—”
“Yes, and you’re free to your own opinion, Neil. But as for me, when I find something I want, that’s the end of it. I don’t keep looking.”
Neil laughed uneasily. “What are you saying?”
Adrian smiled and pulled his phone out of his back pocket. “Guys are here. Hang on a second and I’ll buzz them up.”
He stood up and went to the intercom beside the door which connected him to the security podium.
“Hey, Jeremy, it’s Adrian.”
“Good evening, Adrian. You have guests this evening?”
“Yeah, are they down there already? Could you please send them up?”
“They’re on their way.”
“Thanks a bunch.”
“My pleasure. Good luck tomorrow night.”
“We’ll do our best,” he said with a wink sent Neil’s way.
The guys arrived by elevator a few minutes later. Adrian held the door open on his condo and waved them over.
“You guys made good time,” he told them in between handshakes and back slaps.
“Everyone was bored out of their minds without you there,” quipped their backup goaltender, a massive French-Canadian named Jean-Paul.
“Don’t inflate his ego,” Elias warned as he passed Adrian into the condo with Bastion following. “Hey, look who’s already here!”
Adrian followed his teammates inside and hung back as they introduced themselves to Neil, who’d come around from behind the sofa to greet them. Neil had already met them superficially in Baltimore, but it had been a weird time with him being scratched for his debut and the players unsure how to read the situation. Tonight was their first normal introduction. It took a while to get through everyone, but Neil never lost his smile or friendliness. He appeared more relaxed, his guard lowered, making Adrian feel slightly guilty that he was the reason Neil had been uptight earlier.
Though sexual tension isn’t a bad thing, he mused as he ran his eyes over the fit of Neil’s jeans.
“Get a load of this place!” Their third line winger pointed at a statue of a chubby cow sitting on a shelf. “Maggy, what in the world is going on here? Did you ask your mother to decorate?”
“This is some girly stuff,” another player chipped in as he patted one of the sofa pillows. “My daughter would feel right at home.”
“You hadn’t seen this?” Neil asked, looking between them with surprise.
“First time he’s let us in,” Elias said with huff. “Guess now we know why. Ha-ha.”
“Booze is in the kitchen,” Adrian loudly informed them. “Put your mouths to better use.”
The other players happily made their way to the liquor, though they continued to comment about Adrian’s decorating choices along the way. He didn’t mind. He could take the ribbing. What made him inwardly squirm was the look Neil was sending him.
With the flow of alcohol came loose conversation and laughter. The team was excited to have Neil on board. They, like Adrian, could see the potential he brought, and it invigorated them. The Kraken was about become a brand-new team. A powerhouse, if everything went according to plan, and Adrian was determined that it did
As the guys got to know each other better, Adrian ordered from his favorite sandwich place. The rest of the team had already eaten, but he and Neil hadn’t. When it arrived, Neil looked at it dubiously.
“They were out of the Swedish meatballs so I got you Italian ones,” Adrian informed him with a sigh. “Highly inferior, but what can you do?”
Neil ate the sub, his eyes returning to Adrian again and again. The looks were innocent enough and could have been chalked up to curiosity, but Adrian’s mind wanted them to carry a deeper, sexier meaning, which was a problem when he was hanging out with twenty other guys who were all supposed to be straight. He escaped to his balcony for some fresh air.
The view over downtown Seattle was spectacular, even more so thanks to a recent short drizzle of rain which caused the lights to mirror off the streets. He breathed deeply and savored his wine until the door slid open behind him, admitting a raucous cloud of laughter. Elias joined him.
“We should have held dinner here,” the captain said. “You’ve been holding out on us with this fairytale cottage of yours.”
“Screw off,” Adrian said with a grin. “As a Finn, you know you love it. You just can’t admit it.”
“Can’t, since it’s not true. Man, oh, man, Maggy. What an interesting man you are. And by interesting, I mean weird.”
They toasted each other and listened to the muffled sounds of their teammates getting to know their newest.
“Seems more relaxed,” Elias remarked before taking a sip of his beer.
“Neil? Yeah. Just needed a break, I think. He’s a guy who likes routine and order. He’ll settle in just fine.”
“You’re pretty high on him.”
Adrian laughed at that. “Who wouldn’t be? The guy’s an amazing player. He’s going to make me look good.”
“What about the rumors about him being a slight headcase because of his injuries?” Elias glanced back through the doors. “Concussions aren’t anything to fool around with. They can stick around in different ways.”
“It won’t be an issue. He’s fine, Eli. Give him a few games and you’ll see.”
Elias toasted him. “From your lips to God’s ears.”
<
br /> “How’s the rookie coming along?” Adrian countered playfully, but he didn’t miss the uneasiness that flitted across the other man’s eyes. “Seems to be struggling lately. Not bad, but...”
“Not sure he’s working out as the center, to be honest. I’m going to talk to Coach about it. I think Bastion needs to be on the wing where he can skate like mad and focus on scoring. He’s not a natural playmaker even though he thinks he should be. His strength is shooting. He should focus on that.”
“I heard you’ve been spending extra sessions with him,” Adrian commented.
Adrian was looking out over the city but he felt Elias’ regard on the side of his face.
“The kid asked for help. What am I going to do? Turn him down?”
“Absolutely not. I’m glad you’re invested in him.”
Adrian had been fishing with a bait-less hook, but to his surprise, he caught the beginning of a flush working its way up Elias’ throat.
“I’m not invested in him,” the Finnish captain muttered. “He’s young and dumb. I don’t remember what that’s like, but it pains me to see it so I have to do something about it, don’t I?”
Adrian nodded, but his thoughts tumbled over and over in his head. Was his gruff captain fond of their rookie—perhaps even more than that? Adrian was caught aback by how hopeful he was. He’d likely never learn if Elias was gay or bisexual, but the possibility that someone else on the team could be sympathetic lifted his spirits. Finding a kindred spirit in Neil was amazing enough, but to find more...
“Neil’s playing tomorrow night, right?”
Adrian shook himself out of his musings. “Yes, he’s fine. He’ll be at practice. The three of us should get together, do a little first line bonding.”
Elias chuckled. “You’ve got a big head start on me.”
“I’m a friendly guy.”
“Just be careful.”
Adrian, about to take a drink, paused with the glass halfway to his lips. “Careful about what?”
Elias patted him on the shoulder. “Just be careful.”
He left Adrian on the patio, wondering if he wasn’t the only one making assumptions.
~~~~~
They stopped drinking before ten and by eleven, everyone was ready to go. Rowdy late nights weren’t going to happen in the middle of the season. Adrian deemed the night a success, nonetheless. Neil had worn a smile throughout the night and Adrian believed it was a genuine one. And the rest of the guys accepted their new star player without reservations. The bonding had already begun.
Adrian held open the door and said goodnight to each of his teammates as they left. He kept one eye on Neil, who trailed the others.
“Not you,” Adrian told him with a smile when Neil finally reached the door. “I’ll take you home.”
Neil studied him a moment before walking back into the condo. “Thanks.”
“Don’t let Maggy decorate your apartment, for God’s sake!” one of their defensemen called back from the elevator. “You’ve seen what madness he’s capable of!”
“He’s got no chance,” Neil assured him from over his shoulder. “I’m not even shopping at Ikea.”
The laughing men boarded the elevator in two cars, leaving Neil and Adrian alone in a suddenly too-quiet condo.
“Thanks for that,” Neil said off-handedly as Adrian shut the door. “You were right. They’re a good group. I’m glad I’ll be getting the chance to play with them.”
“I most definitely won’t say I told you so.” Adrian stared openly at him, so aware of the possibilities that he ached with them. But he had to be careful. He had to play this right. And playing this right, much to his frustration, meant being patient. “You ready to go?”
Neil turned on his heel, an eyebrow raised. “Really? You’re letting me go without a fight?”
“Would you prefer I tackle you to the sofa? It’s pretty comfy, and I haven’t properly broken it in yet.”
What did it mean that Neil’s gaze lingered on the sofa? Was he having second thoughts?
Adrian walked up to him slowly, giving Neil the chance to back away, to put up a hand, anything. Instead, Neil stepped back until his hips hit the edge of the sofa. Adrian didn’t believe it had been an accident that Neil had trapped himself.
“You asked me before what I wanted,” Adrian said softly as he came to a stop in front of him. “I’d like to hear what you want.”
“I want to play hockey until my knees blow out.”
“What do you want personally? What would make Neil Shannon the man happy?”
Neil smiled faintly. “To finish my career on a high note. Be respected. Have a legacy. Maybe coach or go into broadcasting.”
Adrian fingered one of the buttons on Neil’s shirt. “You intend to do all that alone? For the rest of your life?”
“This was never supposed to be about that, Adrian.”
“Right. You’re only interested in the sex.”
“I’m not even interested in that!”
Adrian burst into laughter. He couldn’t help it. After a few seconds, Neil chuckled, too, and looked away, cheeks blotchy.
“Okay, I was interested in that, but not at the risk of losing everything else I want.”
“I’ve been living in Seattle for nearly four months now, Neil. None of our teammates had seen my place until tonight. I know how to keep my hockey life separate from my personal life.”
“A secret lover is slightly more complicated to hide than a condo,” Neil retorted.
“Actually, it sounds to me like you’re the one who’s afraid you won’t be able to keep the secret.” Adrian cocked his head thoughtfully. “That’s the vibe I’m getting and I’m kind of shocked, Neil, to be honest with you. I thought you were better than that at playing the game.”
“There isn’t a single rumor out there about me,” Neil shot back hotly. “I’m not the one who would blow it.”
“Great. Since I’m not, either, nothing is standing in the way of us having our sweet and dirty ways with each other.”
Neil groaned and let his head fall back on his shoulders. “You’re impossible.”
“I’m also right.” Adrian cupped him by the chin. “And that’s what you’re afraid of.”
Neil glared at him. “I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Prove it.”
“I’m also not eleven.”
“Prove it,” Adrian repeated patiently. He stroked his thumb along Neil’s cheek. “I won’t be the reason you fall.”
“You can’t guarantee that.” But Neil was yielding in his hand, head tilting when Adrian subtly moved it.
“All I can guarantee is that I’ll try my hardest,” Adrian told him earnestly. “This is important to both of us. I don’t take it lightly.”
With an inarticulate mumble, Neil slid out from between Adrian and the sofa. “I’m ready to go, please.”
Adrian took a breath. Told himself not to panic. Neil hadn’t outright rejected him. And even if he did, worse came to worst, Adrian would have eye candy to play alongside on his way to the Stanley Cup Finals.
But maybe, just maybe...
“Okay, baby,” he said cheerfully. “My chariot awaits.”
Chapter 10
Morning skate on a game day at home typically wasn’t taken as seriously as a regular practice. It was an optional session for those players who wanted to brush up before the game. But Neil was pleased to see every player on the ice when he skated on that morning for his first session with the team. They greeted him with enthusiasm, and he couldn’t help returning it.
The Kraken’s offensive system was similar enough to his old team’s that he had little difficulty picking it up. Soon he was taking line rushes alongside Elias and Adrian. The three of them attacked their goalie with aggression, speed, and creativity. It was exhilarating to experience the perfect pass landing on his stick for him to take a shot—or the reverse, his own pass skipping across the ice to reach Adrian exactly when it needed to. It took o
nly a handful of rushes for him and Adrian to fall into sync, to recognize where the other player would be and to trust that he would be there when he needed to be. Along with Elias’ consistent passing, Neil and Adrian lit up practice, burying shot after shot and inspiring their teammates to break into cheers and whoops.
Neil couldn’t stop grinning.
He chased the puck behind the net, pressured by a defensive player. He passed it to Adrian, who skated past him. When the defensive player shifted to cover Adrian, the Swede passed back to Neil. They cycled this way, dragging the defense back and forth until finally Neil got crushed up against the boards with the puck. With his back to the net, he flicked the puck backward between his own legs in a no-look pass, sending it to the space in front of the net. He didn’t expect the centering pass to connect with anyone; it was simply the smartest play to make. Yet Adrian had read him, and was there in a prime position to snap the puck between the goalie’s pads in a highlight-worthy play.
Adrian yelled and Neil didn’t think, only raced around the net to fling his arms around the taller winger’s shoulders and hug him as though they’d just connected on a game-winning goal. Adrian’s eyes were shining and Neil felt his own smile cracking his cheeks and for a frozen moment they locked eyes and Neil didn’t feel fear or doubt. Like the pass, it was a perfect moment of connection, their joy linked in harmony while something deeper hummed in the background.
Then Elias slammed into them, flinging his own arms around them, and two other players joined, caught up in the excitement. Every play after that was a celebration, with Neil and Adrian showing off their best moves as though they were at the All-Star game. They tried truly skilled moves and wild and whacky ones, and yet somehow they kept finding each other, somehow they kept making the impossible work. Neil couldn’t remember the last time he’d had so much fun at practice. Maybe it was when he was in juniors when the game was still mostly a game and the weight of expectation as the top player hadn’t yet begun to bear down. Here, he wasn’t alone bearing that mantle. Adrian would share the burden, and the comprehension of how that would work—and how it would help—finally struck home. For the first time in a long time, Neil could envision playing hockey simply because he loved it.