Lanie breathed in sharply. “Telling Jane, you mean, that you’ve chosen no one?”
“Jah.”
Lanie didn’t even want to think about that. She wanted to be the one he chose. Even if it was all make-believe to him, she hoped he might fall in love with her at the end of it. “Just make some excuse. Think about it when and if it ever comes to that.”
“Ach. I said I wanted to marry by Christmas.” He shook his head.
“Jah, you had to, remember? Otherwise, this whole thing wouldn’t have worked. There had to be a time limit and you had to sound urgent or she wouldn’t have come.”
He rubbed the side of his face. “I’m deceiving Jane and my mudder. Two of the most important people in the world.”
“And they’ll both forgive you if they ever find out.”
“Did we really need five women? It seems a bit extreme.”
“We had to make you seem desirable. Trust me, I’m a woman. She’ll wonder what she’s missing out on if five women want you, and it’ll cause her to stop and take another look at you.”
“Okay. I’ll take your word on that. I guess you’re right. She’ll have to be curious as to what these women see in me.”
That was how Lanie had wanted it. It would make Jane think of him differently. Lanie was certain that Jane had always been in love with Matt and she suspected that was why she’d distanced herself from him all those years ago. Lanie's own plan was that after Matt got Jane out of his system, he’d finally truly ‘see’ her for the first time.
And, if nothing worked out with Jane, she’d be right there for Matt giving him her shoulder to cry on.
“Just relax, Matt. We’ve got a good plan going. If she loves you, she won’t be able to stop herself telling you so. That’s mainly why I thought there should be five so she sees you’re not attached to any one particular woman.”
He slowly nodded. “I guess I’m okay with the five now. I’ll trust your judgement.”
Lanie smiled. Everything was going nicely so far. The only thing that would ruin her future was if Jane was still in love with Matt.
Lanie couldn’t wait to see what her future would hold. She had to visit Jane and find out straight from her lips how she felt about Matt. Matt had told her Jane’s plans for the day, and for Tuesday. “When you see Jane on Tuesday, why don’t you suggest she spends some time with me on Wednesday? I’ll collect her and bring her back to my haus. Better still, I could leave Mary-Lee with my mudder, and I could take Jane out somewhere.”
“Jah, I think she’d like that. Denke, Lanie. You’re a gut friend.”
Lanie smiled. One day she hoped to be much, much more.
Chapter 8
The very next morning, Jane climbed into Jessica’s buggy and then said hello to Sally and Kate who were in the back seat.
“Hello, Aunt Jane,” Kate said. The younger, Sally, tried to repeat it, but it came out as a series of lilting sounds. Kate said it again, more slowly, and then Sally was able to copy her sister more accurately.
Jane smiled at them and then turned her attention to Jessica, and whispered so the girls wouldn’t hear, “You're pregnant?”
“Jah, but I'm not telling anyone yet for another couple of months. The girls don’t know yet. Only Luke knows.”
“I’m so happy for you.”
“Denke. I waited a long time for the third and I thought it was never going to happen. When I forgot about it, it happened.”
Even though Jane was happy for her friend, she couldn’t believe they were the same age and Jessica was leaps and bounds ahead of her in life. All she had was a job in Ohio and she was renting a small haus from the bishop. “You’re so blessed, Jessica.” Jane’s tone must’ve relayed what she’d been thinking.
“I know, but it will happen for you, just relax.”
“I'm sure it will.” Jane didn't want to be sad and depressed when she was visiting her friend. She needed a break from herself and a break from her normal reality.
It was half an hour later when Jane was sitting down with coffee and the girls were occupied with their wooden toys in the next room; Jessica came right to the point. “What are you doing back here, Jane? I know you haven't come to see me. I've been asking you every few months to come and stay with me. And, why are you staying with Sadie?”
“It was Matt who asked me to come back here.”
“It was?” Jessica’s face lit up.
“Don't get excited. It's not like that. He does want to marry, but the catch is he's not thinking of getting married to me.”
“Oh, I'm so sorry, Jane. I know how you've always felt about him.”
“He wants me to help him to choose someone.”
“What?”
“Jah, it’s true. He doesn’t want me, he wants me to help him find a fraa. Obviously, a fraa who’s not me.”
Jessica stared at her blankly, letting it sink in. “You've got to be kidding.”
“I'm not kidding at all. He says I know him better than anyone.” The gut-wrenching feeling tore through her once more. “He took me to his house and then sat me down. You know what I thought he was going to ask me?”
“I do and why wouldn’t you think that if he asked you to come here?”
Jane nodded, and couldn’t keep everything bottled up any longer. “I thought he was going to ask me to marry him and what he asked me was like driving a knife through my heart.” Tears filled her eyes.
“That's just awful. I’m so sorry, Jane. It’s dreadful.”
“Please don't tell anyone. Unless … did Luke mention anything to you?”
“Nee. The two brothers are close, but they don’t talk about things like that.”
“And I'm sure Matt wouldn't want it to get around. That's why I couldn't be with you all day today. Matt has arranged for Sadie to invite two of the women for dinner tonight. I want to be home to help Sadie prepare the meal.”
“Two of the women?” Jessica’s eyes bugged out. “Is, um, are there more than two of them?”
Jane sat back and told her friend the whole story from start to finish. Jessica was the only one who knew Jane was in love with Matt.
“Oh, you poor thing. You must be devastated.”
“Pretty much. But what's the point of being upset? Surely if he was the one Gott had for me then we’d be in love and married by now. There must be someone else out there for me, don't you think so?” Jane wasn’t convinced about that, but she desperately wanted the pain in her heart to go away.
“It's not for me to say. And you know your own heart. I didn’t think it was a good idea for you to keep in contact with Matt. I told you that right from the start, didn’t I?”
“I know, but it was hard not to write back to him with the way I feel about him and all.”
Jessica shook her head. “You were dangling on a string. He was playing with you like a cat plays with a mouse. And he’s still doing it. Just leave, Jane. Just leave and never speak to him again.”
“I can’t do that. It’s too late. Maybe I should’ve taken your advice when I left, but I had hopes he’d write and ask me to return. He eventually did.”
Jessica sighed. “Jah, but it wasn’t what you hoped for. Would you have returned if you knew what he’d ask you?”
Jane sighed and looked down at the white handkerchief she held twisted between her fingers in her lap. “Nee. I wouldn’t. You see, I prayed about it and said to Gott that if Matt didn’t make a move by this Christmas, I’d forget him completely. Sure, I’d still return his letters, but they’d be shorter and I’d wait for months before I returned them. So, when I saw the words—him asking me here—I convinced myself it was an answer to my prayer. You see, he made a move!”
“I can see how you’d think that. Jane, are you sure he’s not brought you here because he’s considering you?”
Jane huffed. “I don’t want to be considered. I want to be the only woman he sees.”
“I get you. I totally do, but if I can say something …”
Jane frowned at her friend, wondering what she was trying to say. “Go on.”
“You’ve got to relax. Let it all go. There’s got to be someone else out there for you.”
“Don’t you think I’ve told myself that one million times? But look how old I am now. What good is it to marry when I’m fifty? I’ll have no kinner. I need to be married soon.”
Jessica leaned forward and grabbed the plate of cookies and held it toward Jane. “Cookie?”
“Denke.” Jane dropped the handkerchief in her lap and then reached out and took one.
“I've been trying to look on the bright side, trying to see things from a different point of view.” Jane nibbled on the cookie and then put a hand over her heart. “It does hurt. He's the only man I've ever seen. No other man I've met compares. I have been looking. I haven't closed off my mind. I have been looking,” she repeated.
“Hasn't anyone turned your head?”
“No. There is this one man I'm friends with, but I feel I'm just always destined to be no more than friends with the men I like. I’m sure Matt likes me, loves me even, but only as a friend. Do you know how frustrating that is for me, to love and for that love not to be returned? I might as well love a rock or a tree. Nee, a tree would probably show love for me more than Matt does.”
“I know how you feel and I can see it now on your face.”
Jane nodded. “I'll just have to get over him. And maybe this is Gott’s way of helping me do just that. Once he's married I’ll be able to get over him. I’ll have to.”
“You just have to get through the next couple of weeks.”
“Jah, starting with tonight—dinner with the twins.” Jane took a large bite of cookie and it fell to pieces and crumbs scattered all over her. As Jessica hurried forward to help clean the mess, Jane could only look at the cookie fragments. One thing jumped into her mind. The cookie had fallen apart, shattered into pieces, just the same as her life.
Chapter 9
“Now we have the twins coming for dinner tonight,” Sadie said as soon as Jane walked through the door.
“I know. I’ve come back early to help.”
“I’ve been thinking, Jane. If he chooses one twin, how will the other feel?”
“That's true, but I'm sure they’d rather him choose one of them than someone else.”
“The twins have always liked him. That's not been a secret; it's been quite plain to see.”
“He's very popular. He could probably marry any woman he wanted. In this community and any other.”
Sadie nodded. “Very popular. Gott should've made more men.”
“That definitely seems to be the case—there certainly are more women than men around here.”
“That is very true, Jane. But there's not much we can do about it.” Sadie smiled, rolling up her sleeves. “Let’s get started on the dinner, shall we?”
Jane nodded. It was nice to be with Sadie. It reminded her of being with her own mother. Cooking together was fun.
When Jane sat down with the twins, Anne and Beatrice Simpson, she didn't know where to start. They hadn't stopped talking since they’d arrived. Each was just as annoying as the other, so how was she supposed to choose one?
The other thing was, why was Matt interested in them? She could understand why he might be interested in the other three, but the twins? That idea left her entirely baffled.
“And how long will you be here for …” the taller of the twins, Anne, spoke, and her eyes darted everywhere trying to remember her name.
“I’m Jane.”
Laughter poured out from Beatrice. “Did you forget her name already? I told you one hundred times on the way here that her name’s Jane.”
Fingertips flew to Anne’s lips. “Jah, I know her name is Jane I just forgot it for a moment. Forgive me, Jane. How long will you be here for, Jane?”
“A couple of weeks I think.” Jane helped herself to a piece of fried chicken and then some mashed potato.
“Don't you know?”
Jane licked her lips. “Not really. I've taken vacation leave from my job and …”
“What kind of job is it?” asked Beatrice, just when Jane was about to put a forkful of chicken into her mouth.
Jane didn't want to sit there all night talking about her job. “A thoroughly uninteresting and boring one, believe me.” She pushed the chicken into her mouth.
“I know what that's like, having a boring job. That's why I don't want to work—ever. I want to be someone’s fraa. I want to get married and have kinner and that will be my job. Our vadder says we should work to bring in money before the kinner come along.” Anne rolled her eyes.
The twins then put their heads together and giggled. Jane regretted sitting them together. There was too much noise coming from one place. If they’d been at opposite sides of the table, perhaps Jane’s headache could've been more balanced.
“Enough about jobs,” Beatrice said. “Tell us about Matt. How long have you known him?”
Jane swallowed and then took a mouthful of water. “I can't remember ever not knowing him.”
Sadie interrupted, “Jane and Matthew grew up together. Her parents lived two properties down. They’ve always been friends. Her parents were mine and Ralph’s closest friends.”
“That's right.” Jane smiled at the fond memories. “That's just as I remember it too.”
“Well why didn't you marry Matt?” Anne asked, as she dissected all the crispy skin off the chicken.
“Well …”
Sadie leaned forward and grabbed the bowl of mashed potato. “More potatoes for anyone?”
“Not for us thanks,” Beatrice said, speaking for both of them.
“Well, Jane?” Anne asked.
“I'm not sure how I can answer that. We just didn't. We were best friends growing up but then we grew apart. It happens sometimes.” Jane gulped another mouthful of water from the glass in front of her, hoping the subject would soon change.
“Jane’s quite happy with her life. And she's got a man back home.”
The twins stared at Sadie, and then stared at each other. Then they turned to look at Jane.
Beatrice gasped. “Do you have a man back home?”
Jane didn't know why they look so surprised. Was she that awful that they thought no man would be interested in her? She couldn’t deny it now or it would look like Sadie was telling fibs. “I do. He's a very nice man.”
“And he has a little girl,” Sadie added.
Anne stopped chewing her food and frowned.
“His fraa died?” blurted Beatrice.
“Jah.” Jane looked away from Beatrice because Beatrice was talking with her mouth full. “I knew her well.”
“So sorry to hear that. So how did it happen?”
“You should stop talking about it, Beatrice. Can't you see that she's upset about it? A friend died and now she's involved with the husband. Of course she wouldn't want to talk about it.”
Jane felt dreadful. Things weren't like that. She wasn't that good a friend of Isaac's wife, and she’d only become closer to Isaac in the last few months. Still they were friends, never anything more than that, but maybe one day many years from now something could develop between them.
Jane directed a question back to them. “Anyway, when did you two arrive in this community?”
“We’re from Ephrata,” Anne said.
Beatrice nodded. “We moved here with our sister when our father died.”
“Oh, what do you mean, when your family died?” asked Jane.
“Nee, when our father died,” Beatrice said loudly.
“Oh, I see.”
“Are you hard of hearing, Jane?” Beatrice asked.
Anne said, “That happens sometimes when people get older, but you really shouldn’t call attention to it, Beatrice.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry, Jane. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
Jane shook her head. “Nee, I'm not embarrassed and I’m not hard of hearing.
I have excellent hearing. I just misheard what you said.” And that was only because she had been speaking with her mouth full, but Jane was too polite to say that. Still, their comments only made Jane feel worse about herself. They thought she was forever single and that she was getting problems recognized as old-peoples' problems. She couldn't wait for the dinner to end, so they’d be rid of these twins.
Should she tell Matt that she didn't think either of these women suited him? What had Matt been thinking? At that moment, she felt as though she didn’t know him at all. Almost anybody else in the community would’ve been a better choice than these two girls. Sure they were attractive with their light brown hair and their large brown eyes, but that was cancelled out by how irritating and immature they were. And if he did marry one of them, she was pretty certain the other twin would be around way too often for comfort.
Surely someone more mature like Marcy or Lanie would be a far better option for him. And besides, it was true what Sadie had said—if he chose one twin the other would be upset since they both liked him.
“It's lovely at Ephrata,” said Anne, out of nowhere.
“Jah, it is nice,” Jane said having fond memories of many visits there in her youth.
“We both are going to live there when we get married,” Anne said.
Beatrice added, “And raise our girls together.”
Anne giggled. “We're going to have twins, two sets of twins each.”
“One set of girls, and then another set of boys,” Beatrice said. “We’re going to be pregnant at the same time and give birth around the same time.”
Jane smiled. “I hope that works. That sounds delightful.” She finished the last of her food, a few peas and potatoes, while the twins talked more about their childish plans for the future.
“We want the fathers of our kinner to be as handsome as Matt.”
Anne looked over at Beatrice. “Unless one of them is Matt.”
“Ach, jah.”
The twins put their heads together and giggled.
As they moved on to dessert, custard tart with cream, it came out of the conversation that they both wanted to marry brothers. What was going on? All of Matt’s brothers were married already.
Amish Christmas Bride Page 5