The next day, Matt’s conscience was bothering him again. He felt so wretched for deceiving Jane he felt he had to confess the whole thing to the bishop. Then, the bishop would guide him what to do from there. In the bottom of his heart, he knew he’d be told he needed to tell Jane everything. It would be embarrassing, but at least his conscience would be clear.
When he knocked on the door of the bishop’s house, he was faced with the bishop’s adult son, Jeremiah. He was in his mid-thirties.
“Hi, Jeremiah. Is Bishop David home?”
“Nee, he’s been called out. He won’t be long. Care to wait?”
“Sure.”
Jeremiah led him to a small room with nothing but two couches and a coffee table in between them. Jeremiah picked up a book and started reading.
Matt thought it odd that Jeremiah wasn’t talking to him, but it did give him time to think. He normally would’ve talked to Lanie, but she’d encouraged him with the plan. It was mostly her idea, but he couldn’t mention that to Bishop David. He had to take full responsibility.
Sitting there as he was, he felt a real fool as he imagined what the bishop would think of his elaborate plot.
He knew exactly what the bishop would say. Why not just ask her to marry you?
Then he’d have to tell the bishop he was a coward. A coward when it came to love.
He was there to get the bishop’s advice and whatever he told him to do, he’d have to follow it to the letter. Even if it filled him with embarrassment and shame.
Matt’s attention turned to Jeremiah as he sat quietly reading. He was the oldest of the bishop’s and Debra’s nine children and the only one who still lived at home.
Most likely feeling Matt’s concentrated gaze, Jeremiah looked up. “Anything I can help you with?”
Matt smiled. Jeremiah wouldn't be able to help him at all. In fact, Jeremiah might be the last person who would have any idea about women. “Nee denke, that's alright I will wait for the bishop.”
“I'll see if Mamm can make us a cup of coffee and get us a slice of cake, eh?”
“I don't want to put her to any trouble.”
“It's no trouble. She loves feeding people.”
“Okay, that would be nice.”
“It will give us something to do while we wait.”
He looked around the well-ordered and scrupulously clean room. Nothing was out of place. In fact, it was so bare that there was nothing to be out of place. Only one small clock sat on the mantelpiece and one needle-worked scripture plaque hung on the wall in a dark varnished, wooden frame.
“Mamm's bringin’ out something.”
“That's very kind of her.”
“Now what's the problem? I see Jane is back. Are you having women problems?”
Jeremiah smirked at him.
“Not exactly.”
“It's okay if you want to talk to my vadder since he is the bishop and all, but I might be able to help man-to-man, might be able to give you some advice. I have had experience.”
“Now if I had a problem concerning a certain woman, and I'm not saying that it is, how would you be able to help me since you are a single man?”
He raised a finger in the air. “Ah, good point. I might be a single man, but that doesn't mean I haven't been in love and haven't had some chances of being married. I’ve had two ladies who really wanted to marry me over the years, and I turned them both down. I did.”
“Why would you turn them down?”
“I didn't feel they were right for me.”
Matt had to wonder if that were true. “And do you regret turning them down?”
“I don't regret anything. I'm still waiting for the right woman.”
“I admire your faith.”
“It's not faith, it's sense.”
“There are many attractive and single women in the community, are you saying there's not one who appeals to you?”
“Nee,” he answered after a long hesitation. “I don't find myself drawn to any of them.”
The bishop's wife brought out the cake, and the coffee in a teapot. “Matthew, it's nice to see you again. The bishop won't be long.”
“I can't stay too long, but if I miss him I'll catch up with him at the next meeting. It's not something that's urgently important.”
“Very good.” She put the tray down and passed him his coffee cup and saucer and then she passed one to her son.
“Denke, Mamm.”
“Denke, Mrs. Brewer.”
When Mrs. Brewer left, Jeremiah grinned. “So from our conversation so far. I'm pretty sure it's a love story. Hopefully, a love story that’s gonna have a good ending.”
“Maybe it's a loved and lost story.”
“Nah. Or have you lost your love and that's what you're upset about?”
“I don’t know. I’m so confused about everything.” He took a sip of coffee. It was strong almost to the point of being bitter. It was just like his mother made. He had used to like strong coffee like that in his younger days but now he liked it a little milder.
Once he finished his coffee, and Jeremiah was asking more probing questions about Jane, he figured he’d talk to the bishop some other time. Maybe Gott was prompting him to work these problems out for himself.
Matt gave heed to the promptings, and made his excuses to leave. One thing he knew, he didn’t want to end up a single man like Jeremiah.
Chapter 16
Jane and Sadie had just sat down with Lanie for their dinner when a knock sounded on the door.
“Who could that be at this hour?” Sadie said as she got up.
Jane hoped it was Matt.
“I’m sure I heard a car,” said Lanie.
“I wasn’t taking much notice.”
Lanie kept talking to Jane, but Jane had one ear on the door, listening to see who it was. She got the surprise of her life when she heard Isaac's voice.
“Hello, Ma’am. I'm Isaac Egan, a friend of Jane’s.”
“You're … you're not Isaac, are you?”
Jane frowned. It was Isaac. This was dreadful. If only she hadn’t mentioned Isaac to Sadie and exaggerated their relationship.
Isaac said, “I live right next to Jane and I just happened to be in the area and I knew she was staying here.”
Jane knew he hadn't 'just happened to be in the area.' He never went anywhere. He was a goat farmer and as long as she’d known him, he had trusted no one to look after his goats.
“Come in. This is perfect timing. We’ve only just sat down for dinner. Would you care to join us?”
“Would I ever. I've been traveling all day on the Greyhound with little to eat.”
“Well, we have plenty. Come in. We’re having corned beef, with white onion sauce and baked vegetables.”
“That sounds, and smells, mouth-watering.”
Jane bounded to her feet. “Isaac. What a surprise.”
“Jane, it’s so good to see you. Can I steal you away for a quick moment for a word? I know you’re in the middle of dinner.”
“Steal her away,” Sadie said. “And we’re not in the middle. We’ve barely started.”
Jane walked with Isaac into the living room. “What are you doing here?”
“I missed you. I had to see you.”
Jane’s mouth dropped open and she covered it with her hand.
“Is it so shocking?”
“Kind of.”
“You told Mrs. Yoder about me?”
“I mentioned you.”
He smiled. “You must feel something for me to have mentioned me.”
“Let’s eat and then we can talk later, jah?”
“Sure. Are you pleased I came?”
That put her right on the spot.
NO!
She wasn’t pleased that he had come.
Right now, she didn’t need any further complications when she was in the middle of losing the only man she’d ever loved.
Matt would see Isaac, and Jane would slip further from his mind as a
possible fraa.
Matt would think she was taken.
“Of course I’m pleased. Wait, where’s Rosalee?”
“With my mudder.”
They walked back into the room with the others and by this time, Sadie had set Isaac a place.
“You sit right next to Jane,” Sadie said.
“Denke, that’s very kind.”
“You got here just in time for dinner, Isaac.”
“Oh, Isaac, this is Lanie.”
“Pleased to meet you, Lanie.” They exchanged smiles while Jane filled his plate with food, and then placed it in front of him.
“Denke, Jane. This looks amazing.”
Sadie felt the need to tell him, “Lanie is a widow with a young dochder.”
Isaac said, “I’m a widower and I have a young dochder too.”
“Oh, how old?” asked Lanie.
“Rosalee is five-years-old.”
“So’s Mary-Lee.”
“You have things in common,” said Jane, seeing the writing on the wall. He was going to fall in love with Lanie.
Isaac ate a mouthful before he said to Jane, “Probably not too much in common.” He looked back at Lanie, “You see, I'm a goat farmer.”
“I love goats. My family raised goats for the milk. We made cheese and yoghurt too. It was so much fun playing with the goats. Your dochder must enjoy it too, Isaac.”
Isaac drew his eyebrows together. “There’s not much time for play. It’s mostly work.”
With a sparkle in her eye, Sadie said, “Ah, but if you had a fraa to help you on the farm, it would be … there would be time for games and fun.”
“You’re probably right. Rosalee was only a few months old when her mother took ill.”
“I’m sorry, Isaac,” said Lanie. “I know what it’s like to lose someone you love so much.”
He smiled at her and gave a little nod. “Do you work, Lanie?”
“Nee, not really. I help my bruder out on his farm. I guess that’s work. In exchange, I get to live in the small haus on his property. I’m getting the better end of the arrangement by far.”
Jane had heard that Lanie sewed for a living, and wondered why she hadn’t mentioned that.
“I’m sure it makes him happy to be looking after you,” Isaac said.
“It does, I suppose.”
Jane noticed Isaac’s face come alive when he spoke to Lanie. This wasn't good. This was her backup man and the last thing she wanted was for him to have an interest in another woman.
But there was nothing she could do about it, nothing at all. And who wouldn't be attracted to her with her creamy skin, haunting dark eyes and raven black hair?
And he hadn't even met Mary-Lee yet and she was as cute as a button. Jane knew in her heart the two little girls would get along so well. They would be like twins.
Maybe she was destined to be alone, and if she couldn’t have Matt, she was better off that way. It wouldn’t be fair to marry a man who was her heart’s second choice.
Unless … unless Gott had someone else for her, Jane thought. Someone she could love and who would love her in return.
“Where are you staying, Isaac?” asked Jane.
“Our bishop arranged for me to stay with Bishop David.”
“That's perfect,” said Lanie. “He lives up the road from me. I can drive you there when we’re finished with dinner.”
“That would be great, but I thought I might have a word with Jane before I leave if that's okay.”
“I can wait for you.”
When they’d finished a dessert of peach pie with cream, Sadie wasted no time making a suggestion. “Isaac, why don’t you and Jane go to the living room and I’ll stay here and talk with Lanie.”
Isaac smiled. “Thank you.”
Isaac and Jane walked into the living room and Jane quickly sat. She knew he’d want to discuss the letter he’d written. “Sit here beside me.”
He sat down. “I hope you don’t mind me coming to see you. I wasn’t quite sure what I was walking into.”
“That's okay. It’s always nice to see you.”
“I guess you got my letter?”
“I did and I have to say I was surprised by it. I thought we were friends.”
“I hope you don't think I'm too forward in the letter. I've never said anything to you like that in person, but I figured you might have known my feelings for you without me having to say anything.” He pushed his dark hair behind his ear. “Then I realized I might be wrong and I had to find you and tell you in person. As soon as I sent the letter I knew it wasn’t enough. You can’t say these things with just written words. I needed to look into your eyes.”
“Do you mean, you still feel that way?”
“Of course, I only wrote the letter last week. What possibly could have changed?”
“Meeting Lanie.” Jane decided the straightforward approach was the best. She had to figure this love thing out fast. She’d sensed something between the two of them right away.
“Jane, I don't know that woman. Never met her before. Why would meeting a woman for five minutes change my feelings for you?”
“I don't know, but that's the funny thing. How do you know what love is when you feel affection for someone … is that love? If you want to live with someone and look after them … well, isn’t that what a bruder does for a schweschder, and that’s not the kind of love we’re talking about, but it’s still a kind of love.” Not the one she was looking for, though. Did Isaac have a brotherly love for her?
He narrowed his eyes and Jane saw it as confusion.
She tried to explain herself better. “Love needs to be all consuming, doesn’t it? You only see that person, you only think about that one person. It’s not a choice, as such.”
A smile replaced Isaac’s confusion. “Will you marry me, Jane?”
Jane’s mouth fell open with shock. Someone had proposed. No longer would she be a woman with no choices. She was now a woman someone wanted. It felt good.
He continued, “Return with me now; marry me as soon as possible.”
She always wanted something like this to happen. She couldn’t say yes, but she was too cowardly to say no. What if this was her only chance of becoming a mother? Surely that would make up for everything. But, would it be fair to Isaac? “Can I have time to think it through?”
“Of course. I know this has come as quite a shock to you. Take all the time you need. As long as you can give me a yes at the end.”
They smiled at each other. She was grateful to be loved, to be given that chance for happiness. Isaac was a good man. She’d always respected him. “I can't believe you came all this way.”
“I thought I should. Just in case you fell in love with someone here. I never would’ve forgiven myself. I didn’t want to hold back any longer.”
“That never would’ve happened. This is my old community. I know most of the people here.”
“I know, you said that. You told me your father moved over here, then your mother joined him and then years later you moved back to Ohio.”
“That's right and that's why I feel like I have two homes. This is where I grew up, mostly.”
Jane was grown up on the outside, but inside she felt just like a young girl. She did all the grown-up things, had a job, paid the bills, but just like any little girl who sometimes needed a good mother and her father, she also needed. What made her feel more alone was that her sister and brother had left the community and she'd not heard from them since.
“I should go. I think Lanie wants to go, and the bishop will most likely want to talk with me when I get back. It’d be rude to get back there too late.”
“That’s fine. I agree.”
“What are you doing tomorrow?”
“Oh, Isaac, I'm sorry, but I don't really have any free time while I’m here. I came here to help out a friend. It’s been quite time consuming so far.” She had to keep the two men apart, but how could she now that Sadie knew about Isaac?
“Could you squeeze in lunch with me tomorrow?”
She owed him that much for coming so far to see her. “Yes, I think I could do that. We could have a quick lunch somewhere. But neither of us have use of a horse and buggy. Unless, you do?”
“I'm sure I can borrow one from Bishop David.”
“That sounds good, and how long will you be here for?”
“Just a few days and then I have to get back. It was tough getting someone to mind the place. That's why…”
“I know, that's why you can never go on a vacation.”
“That's right. But if we get married, if you accept my proposal, I will do my best to try to get away every few years and go somewhere nice. I have relatives all over the country we can stay with.”
“Sounds wonderful.”
“Is that a yes?” he joked.
She giggled. “No. It’s not.”
“I’ll collect you at eleven.”
“Perfect.”
Chapter 17
Fifteen minutes later, Sadie and Jane watched Lanie and Isaac leave. Once the horse and buggy were out of sight, Sadie closed the door. “What did he say to you?”
“I shouldn't be telling you.”
“I'm your friend, aren't I?”
“That's true, and I do need someone to talk to. He asked me to marry him.”
Sadie’s mouth turned up at the corners, causing her cheeks to look even fuller. She pulled Jane over to the couch. “I thought so. Why else would he have come out all this way?”
“Maybe Gott brought him here to meet Lanie.”
“Jane, take a good look at yourself without your negativity. He was politely talking to that woman. He has no interest in her, and she's too young for him.”
“But isn't being young a good advantage? Don't men prefer younger women? Matt doesn’t seem to mind. Look at Abigail.”
“Nee, Jane. They prefer someone they can talk with, someone who can be a friend, and a companion.”
“He did say he wasn't interested in Lanie.”
Sadie gasped. “Oh, Jane, you didn’t ask him, did you?”
“I did. I thought it would be okay.”
“Why ever would you ask such a thing?”
“I had to know the truth. It seemed they were getting along great and their kinner would too. They could have a perfect family if they married. He’s lost a fraa and she’s lost a husband. Each would know the other’s sadness and pain.”
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