“I think that’s a good idea.”
As he talked about the property, they walked towards the river, where they used to play as children. He talked about his plans for the improvements on the property and the different crops he was going to try.
“So, you’re not going to lease the land to one of your brothers?”
“I might when I turn the place into a bed and breakfast. Everything is up in the air at the moment.”
Jane was feeling so sorry for herself she wasn't even listening about corn and soybeans and whatever other crops he was chattering about. She walked slowly along looking at the earth beneath her change colour.
“It's been dry this year,” she said when he paused for breath.
“It has been. We’re having a dry spell.”
Hmm, she thought, much like my life. “Hopefully next year will be better.”
She smiled and looked around. “I've always loved this place. Remember how we used to play along the banks of the river and hide in the trees when we were younger?”
“Those are some of my fondest memories of my childhood.” He gave her a beaming smile.
“If only people didn’t need to grow up. Things were so simple back when I was a young girl and my parents and siblings were still here. I didn't have to worry about one single thing except getting our chores done on time.” She’d felt so alone once her brother and sister had gone. They had both left at the same time without a trace and they’d tried to get her to go with them. She wouldn’t hear of it.
“And doing exactly what we were told,” he added.
“Jah, that too. Things are so uncertain when you become an adult. When I was growing up, I had so many different dreams for my future. It seemed that anything was possible.”
“What kind of things? Get married and have a family? Isn’t that what every woman wants?”
“Jah, that’s right. Within that framework is what I used to dream of.”
His eyebrows pinched together. “I’m not sure I understand.”
She couldn’t tell him that she used to think of being married to him. “What my kinner would be like and … and who I would marry, and so on.”
“Oh.” He looked away. When they came to a large outcrop of rocks, he sat down on one of them. “Tell me about the dreams you used to have.”
She sat on one too. “Nothing definite, just whether I’d get married in the afternoon or the morning, and where my husband and I would live.”
“Ah, I guess that’s changed now since you moved away.”
“I never thought I’d be gone indefinitely.”
“You didn’t?”
She shook her head. “Nee.”
“Why did you move?”
“I was upset about my brother and sister leaving. You know, they’ve never kept in touch. I’ve not heard one word from them since they left.” She wiped a tear from her eye.
“I’m sorry, Jane. That must be so hard for you.”
“It is. It was bad enough our folks dying, and then they both disappeared, left me with no one.”
“I had no idea that was how you felt.” He moved off his rock, sat next to her and put his arm around her. “I’m so sorry, Jane. I guess I got caught up in my own life and never realized how much you were hurting.”
She wiped more tears from her cheeks. “It’s okay. I just miss them. I think about them every day. They probably have families by now. And, how do I know they’re still alive? Something might’ve happened to them and I’d never know.”
“That’s why you left?”
“Partly. I honestly don’t know what I want.”
“What about your suitors back home?”
She shook her head. “I don't know what will happen there. Maybe I'll marry one of them, and maybe I won't. You see? There are so many choices now. As a child there are no maybes, no choices, there were just definite ideas of what would happen.”
He held her tighter. “If life could be anything you want … how many kinner would you see yourself with?”
That brought a smile to her face. “I always thought six was the perfect number. Three boys and three girls. Three would be boys, first, and the second lot of three would be the girls. They would all stay within the community, not one of them would leave like my siblings did.”
“You never heard anything from either of them?”
“Nee, you're the first person to mention them to me in years. I don't even know where they are. They haven't tried to contact me either, and it wouldn't be too hard to find out where I live. They’d only need to ask Bishop David. He has my address.”
“Yes, you're right. It wouldn't be too hard. Sorry about that.”
“Don't be sorry, that's just the way things are. These things happen. I didn't want them to stay if they didn’t want to. I know, and I knew then, that they have to follow what they think is right in life.”
“Are you going to stay where you’re living forever?”
“I don’t know. I don’t need to. What are your plans, Matt? Marry one of these women and turn your haus into a bed and breakfast?”
“I won't ask you about which man you’ll choose because you don’t seem to know that.”
“And because that part is not up to me. I need your help.” She smiled sweetly. Jessica would be proud of her. This was developing just like they’d planned. He was bothered by talk of her marrying.
“I’ll do all I can to help.”
“After you’ve made your choice, and after you’re married,” she said.
“Jah, of course.”
She looked up at the sky. “It’s gray again. I hope we don’t get rained on.”
He grinned. “I like the rain.”
His attitude was so different from Isaac’s, and she was glad. And, he still had his arm around her ...
Chapter 26
After Matt finally took Jane back to his mother’s in the mid-afternoon, he went straight to Lanie’s house and banged on the door.
She opened it, staring at him. “What’s wrong?”
He pushed right on past her into the house. “Our plan is not working. She's got this new man, Isaac. Now she’s informed me, she has a second man back home.” He turned around to face her, his skin flushed scarlet. “And she wants me to help her choose between them. ME!” He pointed to himself. “Our plan has backfired badly.”
“I met Isaac and he seems to be a lovely man.”
“So, can you see my concern? If they're in love, I won't stand in the way of her happiness.”
“I don't think that's a problem.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Leave it with me. I'll find out exactly how he feels about her.”
“And how would you do that? Have you gotten close enough to Jane in the short amount of time she's been back? I can't see her telling you how she really feels. She's very closed off with people she doesn't know. She's quite a shy woman. Or maybe 'reserved' is a better word.”
“Just trust me. I'll find out.”
He took off his hat and ran a hand through his dark hair. “I regret doing this now. I pulled her all the way over here for nothing. I’ve embarrassed myself. I’m sure she thinks I’m a fool. A big fool.”
“Just give it a chance. Don't give up just yet.”
He swallowed hard. “Are you sure you can find out? What am I thinking? He chased her all the way over here. I should’ve been man enough to do that myself years ago.”
“I'm positive I can find out what I need from him.” Lanie felt the burden of the foolish plan to rid his mind of Jane. Now she knew how sick he was over the possibility of losing her, and she realized how deep his love was. There was no way she could compete. The whole 'Jane choosing his bride' had been her idea even though Matt was trying to take responsibility for it. It had seemed perfect when they’d first talked about it, but now she could see it hadn't been a great idea. Not even a mediocre one. “Leave it with me. I’ll let you know.”
Early the next day, Lanie stopped by
the bishop’s house hoping to see Isaac.
She had no idea what she was going to say, but she knew she had to say something. She was sure there was a spark between herself and this man, and if there was, she couldn't allow him to marry Jane. What were the chances of two men she liked being in love with Jane?
Debra, the bishop's wife opened the door after Lanie knocked. “Lanie, how nice to see you. Where’s Mary-Lee?”
“I just dropped her off with my mother.”
“I always enjoy seeing her. Come in.”
She walked through the doorway. “Well, denke, but I'm actually here to see Isaac if he’s in.”
“Isaac's helping mend one of our boundary fences. I overheard the men say it was two hundred yards up on the northern side.”
“Do you mind if I go and talk to him?”
“If you wish.”
“Okay thanks. I'll go see him.”
The bishop's wife shut the door and Lanie walked along the fence line, looking between the trees to see if she could catch sight of him. When she walked up a slight rise, she saw him, working by himself, and another man working another fifty yards away. She hurried to Isaac, seizing the opportunity to talk to him by himself.
He looked up and saw her approaching. Then he straightened up and smiled. “Hello, Lanie. What are you doing out this way?”
“I was just taking a walk.”
“Is that right? Taking a walk on the bishop’s property?”
“Guilty,” she said fluttering her dark eyelashes. “I did want to talk to you.”
He put the hammer down on the ground and his hands dropped by his sides. “About what?”
“I want to let you know that I've enjoyed our conversations.” She could see when he smiled that he wasn't totally focused on Jane above all other women. Unlike Matt who’d never once looked at her the way Isaac was right now. “It would be nice if you could visit this community more often.”
He crossed his arms over his chest looking slightly embarrassed. “I would if I had a reason. It's not easy for me to get away from my goats.”
“I just love goats.”
“Yes, you mentioned that before. I remembered.”
“I hope you found someone good to look after them in the end.”
“I did. My sister’s husband. He’d offered many times to look after them. He helps me a few hours a week so he knows what to do. He's really the only one I’d trust.”
“Sounds like you’re a very tough man when it comes to giving someone your trust.”
He smiled. “Sometimes. I’m glad I came here.”
“Things are working out for you here?”
He gave a lopsided grin. “They’re looking better.”
She giggled. “How so?” She touched the fence and he grabbed her hand.
“Careful, I haven’t fixed that yet.” His fingers lingered, curled around her hand, before he slowly released it.
His caress was so caring, so gentle. She looked into his eyes, and something passed between them. Something unknown, unspoken, and what’s more, they both knew that the other knew it.
“If I hadn’t come I never would’ve met you, Lanie.”
“You feel that way?” she asked breathlessly.
“I sure do.” He glanced over his shoulder at the other man working on the fence. Then he turned his attention back to Lanie. “How can I see more of you while I’m here?”
“I’m glad you said that.” She had a quick decision to make. She’d fought her attraction to him because she knew he’d only come there for Jane. “Is there any chance you’ll be home tonight at the bishop’s haus? I’ll be there for the quilting bee. We go every Tuesday.”
“I’ll make sure I’m there. The bishop hasn’t mentioned that he’s wanted me to do anything tonight.”
“Good. The men usually stay in the kitchen while we take over the living room, but we’ll have a chance to talk over a late supper.”
“Will we?” he asked.
“We will.”
“I’ll look forward to it.”
“As will I. I’ll see you tonight then, Isaac.”
“I’ll be there, waiting.”
Lanie walked away, feeling like she’d never felt before. Was there a chance for her? A chance for her daughter to have a father in Isaac? A sister in his daughter Rosalee?
Chapter 27
Lanie wasn’t going to get her hopes up just yet. Yes, they’d had a moment where it felt like they were the only two on Earth, but that meant nothing if he didn’t profess his love or give her some hope to cling to. What she needed was for him to promise he’d return, or for him to invite her to his own community in Holmes County. If he did that, she could be sure their relationship would develop quickly.
Her chance to talk to him again came at the late supper that night at the bishop’s house. The two of them slipped out onto the chilly porch so they could speak in private.
“I’ve never met anyone quite like you, Lanie.”
She felt the same, but the question had to be asked. “What about Jane?”
“Jane’s not interested in me. I can tell she’s in love with someone else.”
“Oh, are you certain?”
“I was going to go home tomorrow unless … if you want me to stay on a couple more days, I could.”
“Please stay, Isaac.”
“I will, then. Can you get to the main farmers market in town tomorrow by ten?”
“I’ll make sure I’m there.”
“Good. We should get back inside now, before we’re missed.”
“Okay,” she said as she went to walk in, but he suddenly pulled her back.
“Lanie, I came here to get myself a fraa and it seems that's what I'm doing, if you’ll do me the honor.”
“Isaac, do you really mean it?”
“Will you marry me, Lanie?”
She licked her lips. This was what she wanted. They didn’t really know each other, but somehow she felt that they did. Some might say that it was madness, but Lanie felt in her heart that it was right. “I will, Isaac, I will.”
He pulled her into his arms.
“Wait. I’m thinking about Jane.”
“If Jane and I had been right for one another, we would've got together a long time ago. I know that because I can see things clearly now. Now that I've met you.”
Lanie was smiling so much, her face ached. She felt like she hadn't stopped smiling since she’d first met him.
“Would you leave your life here, marry me, and move Mary-Lee to Holmes County with me?”
“You truly mean it?”
He laughed. “If I didn't mean it, I wouldn't have said it.”
Lanie didn’t want to hurt Jane if she really loved Isaac. She had to find out first. “I’m worried how Jane will take this. You came to see her and now you’ve proposed to me.”
“Jane’s not interested in me and it’s just as well she didn’t give me an answer.”
Lanie bit her lip. “Give me a couple of days, will you? I want to make sure Jane will be okay. I couldn’t bear to see her hurt over this.”
“You’re such a caring person, Lanie.”
Lanie was just being normal, she thought, but if he saw her as caring she wouldn’t disagree. “I’ll go see her tomorrow. I know that Sadie is going somewhere with the ladies, and I’m hoping Jane will be at Sadie’s home all by herself.”
“Then, will we be able to spend time together after that?”
“I’d love to, if all goes well. I’ll see her tomorrow morning and then meet you at eleven. That’ll give me plenty of time to talk with her woman-to-woman.”
He gave her a nod.
The next morning over breakfast, Sadie asked, “What are Matt’s plans for you today, Jane?”
“He's very busy doing something at work. He said he's got some important meetings on. Looks like I've got a free day.”
“Not any more. You can come with me to the charity meeting with the ladies.”
Jane had been l
ooking forward to a quiet day doing nothing. Since she’d arrived, she felt like she hadn’t stopped. “Do you mind if I just stay home? I still haven't recovered from the trip over here.”
“I don't mind at all, but you might enjoy coming with me, that’s all.”
“Any other time I would, but today I’d like to rest.”
“If you feel the need to rest then that's what you should do. I know you're not a lazy woman and if your mind and your body are saying you need to rest then that's probably what you ought to do.”
“Denke for understanding.”
Just after nine, Sadie was collected by one of her friends, and Jane waved goodbye to them from the porch with Mr. Grover curled around her feet looking on. As soon as they drove away, Jane felt a great sense of relief.
She let out a deep breath. Then she relaxed onto the porch chair and wrapped her coat tighter around herself to keep out the chill of the morning air.
Mr. Grover wasted no time jumping onto her lap, helping to keep her warm. She patted him, burying her cold hands in his medium-length fur. “We have a whole day ahead of us, Mr. Grover. I'll have to make the evening meal, but I don't have to get started on that till around four. Sadie will be home at five. And all I want to do is ... nothing.” As the wind picked up, she added. “Maybe we should move to sit in front of the fire.”
She carried Mr. Grover inside and shut the door behind them. She stood the cat on the floor, walked a few steps to the fire in the living room and rearranged the logs so they would burn slower and hotter. Then, after she added another couple of small logs, she sat down on the couch admiring her handiwork. Mr. Grover had already made himself comfortable on the rug and was fast asleep.
Jane stared into the flames, and she couldn’t help thinking how funny life was. Life had taken various turns beyond her control and beyond anyone's control.
Here she was, back in the community where she’d grown up. Still, she couldn’t help feeling alone. The old feelings she remembered from when her siblings deserted her returned. She missed having her family around. All she had in Holmes County were her extended family—aunts, uncles and cousins—but she wasn’t that close with any of them.
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