With a groan, he lowered his head so his lips met hers, groaning again when her fingers dug into his nape, and she pressed against him. He spun her around, pressing her against her front door as he deepened the kiss, their tongues dueling and their hands roving over each other, as their passion raged.
His fingers freed his hold of her, and he broke the kiss, backing away to marvel at her hair cascading over her shoulders. “Gorgeous,” he rasped, as he leaned forward, kissing his way up her neck to her jaw and then to her mouth again. “You’re so beautiful. How am I so fortunate …” His words broke off, as she turned her head and captured his lips, kissing him with a passion that matched his.
Her hands dug into his back, and she gasped for air when he broke away, resting his head against her shoulder. “We have to stop,” he panted out. “Otherwise we won’t.”
She shivered. “I … It’s too soon, Toby,” she whispered, flushing when he stared at her with a deep reverence.
“I know,” he murmured. “Too soon for all sorts of things.” He sighed, pushing back to give her space. “What I would ask, Vera, is that you never doubt the sincerity of my feelings. I adore you. I want to continue to learn everything about you. I want to be the man who spoils you and who makes you smile.”
She smiled shyly at him. “I want nothing more, Toby.”
Cupping her jaw, he gazed deeply into her eyes. “I never thought to be given another chance. To deserve a chance with a woman like you.” His eyes glowed, as he leaned forward to press his forehead to hers for a moment. Somehow this moment felt more intimate than their bone-jarring kisses. “Thank you for having faith in me, Vera.”
She closed her eyes, feeling that this moment between them was almost as sacred as any time she’d spent listening to a pastor in church. For finally she was learning to have faith again.
* * *
Alvira walked the short distance from her cabin to school, her mind filled with the day’s tasks. First and foremost, she had to ensure that the schoolhouse was warm for the children. With a sigh, she hoped there was enough wood for the day. Focusing on the snowy and icy path to the schoolhouse, she didn’t look very far ahead of her, as she didn’t want to lose her footing.
With a grunt, she slammed into a bony body and bounced backward, falling with a painful thud onto her bottom. Glaring up at the person who had blocked her path and who had not helped prevent her fall, she groaned inwardly at the sight of Mr. Atkins. “Sir,” she said, as she attempted to stand without his aid. “Good morning.”
“I’m surprised you can say that to me, after how you have treated me.”
“Pardon me?” She gaped at him for a moment, before schooling her expression into one of mild interest. “I fear you are mistaken.”
“You were meant for me, you wanton hussy!” he hissed, as he reached for her. His face became mottled, and his expression more filled with rage, as she took a hasty step in retreat to avoid his touch.
“I was meant for whomever I chose.” She raised her chin in a challenging manner. “Not who you believe I should be with. You have no say over my life, Mr. Atkins.”
“You came to dinner with me. You led me on!” His eyes bulged at the thought.
“No, I accepted your invitation because I did not wish to embarrass you in front of Mr. Sutton. If you recall, I also quickly departed said supper before eating a morsel of food.” She stood tall, with a severe expression, as she stared at him. “I wonder how you could have misconstrued my actions, as they seemed blatantly obvious to everyone else in town.”
“How dare you imply you found my attentions undesirable?”
“I’m implying nothing of the sort. I’m stating it. Plainly and directly to you, sir. I do not desire any attention from you. It is unwanted. Please leave me alone.”
When she moved to walk around him, he gripped her arm and prevented her from passing him. “You believe you’ll be happy with a man like Tobias Sutton?” He sneered at her. “You are a simpleton and a fool. He’ll spit you out faster than he has the other women of this town.”
She stared at him in disgust. “You know nothing.”
“No, Miss Damon. It’s you who’s clueless.” With those ominous words, he released her, leaving her rocking in place, as she attempted not to fall again, while he stormed away from her. Alvira stood, shocked and unsettled, as she watched the hotelier head to his hotel.
* * *
Nearly a week after her dinner with Tobias and a few days after he had helped her with her curtains, Alvira left school to walk toward town. Although she wanted to go by the store to see Tobias, she feared she had imagined their romantic interludes. Would he want to see her? Did he feel as deep a desire to see her smile as she did him? Did he have a need to reassure himself that this wasn’t a dream?
She intentionally kept her head down as she walked past the Mercantile and then skirted around the men outside the barbershop and the Watering Hole Saloon. Soon she neared the bakery, having just passed the café. A woman she recognized but did not know stepped in front of her. “Hello,” she said in a practiced, impersonal manner, intending to walk around her. However, the woman matched her sidestepping motion. “If you don’t mind?”
“Actually I do mind,” the woman snapped in a low voice. “I mind when an interloper arrives in town, believing she has the right to take what isn’t hers.”
“I beg your pardon?” Alvira asked, with a raised brow. Casting a quick glance around her, she noted that no one was nearby to interrupt this undesired conversation.
“You should beg my pardon,” said the woman, dressed in ratty clothes. “You think you’re so much better than me, don’t you, because you’re dressed in your fancy clothes and because you have your job at the schoolhouse.” She made a tsking noise. “No one in this town will bat an eye when you lose everything and when you end up in the Boudoir because you succumbed to his dalliance.”
“What are you implying?” Although Alvira clung to a bored expression, inside she fought dread and a sense that her dreams were about to be destroyed. Again. Although she had ignored Mr. Atkins’s warnings, she feared she wasn’t strong enough to withstand repeated attacks and admonishments from various townsfolk.
“That man, Tobias Sutton, isn’t who you think he is. Oh, he’s charming and knows how to woo a woman. But he also ruins lives. Just ask his nephews how they felt after he ran off with their mama, ripping apart their family. Or my own daughter, after he seduced me from my dear stalwart husband. Or his own daughter, after he mocked her and said she was no better than a Boudoir Beauty.” The woman looked at Alvira with abject pity. “You may feel special now, but you’re just one of a long line of women who he’s used and tossed aside, all without a second thought.”
“I’m certain I have no need to listen to anything you say,” Alvira rasped, her cheeks flushed, her palms gripped tightly, as she clung to control.
“You’re a cool one. I can see why he’d be interested in you. You’re a challenge. Once you’re no longer a challenge, he’ll move on to find someone else.” She stared at Alvira in a mockery of compassion. “Oh, did you truly believe he cared for you? That you were special to him?” She gave a sham sympathetic smile.
“That is the brilliance of a man like Tobias Sutton. He shows you what you most yearn to see. To feel. And then, after you’ve come to believe he’s committed to you, he decides you are lacking in everything he wants and needs. He’ll rip apart your sense of worth and leave you a shell of a woman.” She waved around. “He’s done the same to too many women in town to name.”
Alvira remained frozen in place, as this woman voiced every one of her deepest fears. She grimaced when the woman stared at her with pity.
“Good day, dear. It was so wonderful to have this chat with you.”
Alvira stood in stunned silence, as the older woman walked away, Alvira’s mind racing, and every fear she had tried to conquer ripped open once again.
* * *
Ben Metcalf entered the cabin
he shared with Jane, frowning as he looked into the bedroom they shared to find her asleep. This was the fourth day in a row he’d come home to find his wife abed, with no supper cooking. He didn’t care if they ate every night at the café, but he worried his wife was ailing. Kicking off his boots, he crept into their bedroom, slipping under the covers with her.
“Ben,” she whispered, pressing against him. “You’re home.” She snuggled in closer to him, sighing with pleasure as he wrapped her in his arms.
“Jane, love, if you sleep any more, you won’t sleep tonight,” he whispered.
“Oh, I could sleep for days,” she murmured. “I never thought I’d be this tired.”
His hands tightened on her, and he moved so his fingers stroked her cheek. “Love, wake up. Tell me what ails you. I’ll take you to the finest doctors. We can find a cure. I know we can.”
She giggled, kissing his jaw. “Oh, Ben, how I love you.” She opened her eyes, meeting his gaze. Immediately she sobered, as she saw the terror in his. “Oh, my darling, please don’t fret. This is perfectly normal.” She rubbed her nose over his cheek. Backing away so she could stare into his eyes, she whispered, “We’re to have a child, Ben. Come summer.”
He gaped at her. “A child? Us?” At her nod, he gave a whoop and pulled her into his arms. “Oh, my darling, finally.”
She giggled and settled in his embrace. “We haven’t been married that long.”
“Long enough. I’ve wanted a child with you from the moment I saw you. I knew you’d be a wonderful mother. Attentive and kind and loving.” He kissed her brow. “I can’t wait to see our child with our large family.”
She smiled. “With all of her aunts and uncles around, doting on her.”
Ben chuckled. “Heaven.” He held her for long moments, everything he ever wanted in his arms.
* * *
Alvira shut the door to her cabin, her mind spinning and her heart racing. Mrs. Jameson’s words rang in her mind, and she wished she could unhear them. Her own words, naive and childish, rang through her thoughts, and she cringed at being so foolish. “How could I have thought who he is now more important that who he was then?” she whispered, a hand to her chest. “Who he was is just as important.”
She collapsed with a thud onto her favorite chair, wishing she’d never accepted the position in this town. Wishing she’d never been teased with all she knew she could never have. Friendship. Family. Love.
A tear tracked down her cheek, and she rested her head against the back of the chair. Why would such a man fascinate her? Flashes of memory teased her, and she groaned as she swiped at her cheeks. Tobias teasing her. Giving her a supportive look, as he watched her navigate her way through the myriad personalities of the townsfolk. His soft smile, the one she’d come to cherish.
Groaning again, she scrubbed her hands over her face, smearing her tears. What a gullible ninny she’d been to kiss him. To yearn for more of his touch. She knew better than to act like a girl barely out of the schoolroom. She was in her midforties, for heaven’s sake.
What was worse, she should have known better than to fantasize about a future with Tobias. With startling clarity, she realized Tobias would never marry her. That wasn’t the sort of man he was. He enjoyed consorting with women. He relished his freedom. He would never desire anything more than a brief interlude with her, and, when he’d had his fill of her, he’d abandon her. Alone, with little reputation to cling to, as she was forced to abandon this town and struggle to find a new position.
Rising, she locked her door, blew out the candle, and crawled into her bed, determined to carve out a little time to mourn before she determined what she would do.
* * *
A few days later, Tobias worked in his store, although he couldn’t prevent his glance from rising to the door every time someone walked down the boardwalk. He had hoped Alvira would visit, but she had been busy the past few days. Ever since their passionate kisses after dinner in his kitchen and then at her home, he’d wanted to spend more and more time with her. Learn all about her and let her know him.
He tried to understand her desire to shy away from him for a few days. However, after spending so many years alone, he ached to move forward. To show her what he dreamed they could have. Instead he felt like he were twiddling his thumbs, as he feared his dreams for the future slipped through his fingers again, like melting snow.
At the tinkling of the bell over the door, he turned to see who had entered, his heart leaping at the sight of Alvira in her beautiful evergreen cloak. Her blue eyes were guarded and her hair pulled back in a severe bun. “Hello.” He bit back the “darling,” as anyone could enter after her, and he never wanted to harm her reputation. “It’s wonderful to see you, Al … Miss Damon.”
She stared at him, no warmth or hint of what they had shared in her expression. Instead she said in the prim and proper schoolmistress’s voice, “I’m afraid I’m out of cloves, and the other mercantile doesn’t sell it.”
“Cloves,” Tobias murmured, as he stared at her, dread pooling in his belly. “Of course.” He moved to the area at the side at the back of the store, where the bins of spices were stored. “How much?”
“Three ounces.” She stood with pursed lips, as she gazed assiduously in front of her.
After he had measured out the spice, and she’d handed over her coin, he gripped her fingers, feeling her shiver, even through her gloves. “Vera,” he whispered, his gaze flicking to the door to ensure they were alone and not to be disturbed. “What’s happened?”
“I’m certain I don’t know what you mean. For one such as you, a meaningless dalliance must be all too common.” She tugged on her hand, grabbed her bag, and spun on her heel.
He watched her depart with dismay. Her words played in his mind, but he had no idea how she could have come to the conclusion that what they’d experienced was a meaningless dalliance. It had meant everything to him.
“Father?” Jane called out from the rear kitchen. Her light footsteps sounded, as she walked toward him from the back. Running her hand over his shoulder and down his arm, she arched up to kiss his cheek. “Are you well?” she asked. Frowning, she cupped his cheek. “Go to the back. I’ll close the store for a few minutes, and we’ll have a cup of tea together.”
Tobias sighed, inordinately grateful for his daughter’s attentiveness. Although she was happily married to her Ben, she hadn’t forgotten her father and continued to look in on him frequently every week. She’d insisted they have dinner together at least once a week at the café, and he relished every moment with her. He didn’t know how he’d survived without her in his life.
After setting the kettle on to boil, he set out two cups and readied the teapot. He sat, his mind whirling at all that had apparently gone wrong with Alvira. Had she disliked his attention? Did his kisses disgust her? Rubbing at his head, he closed his eyes, uncertain what to do.
When Jane wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in close for a moment, he leaned into his daughter with an appreciative sigh.
“All will be well, Father. I promise.” She kissed him on his head and then moved to the stove to finish making the tea. “I brought treats from the bakery. We might as well have a little tea party now.”
He grinned at her, unable to feel anything but joy when he was with her. “Oh, how I love you, daughter,” he murmured. His grin dimmed when she froze, her breath caught in a gasp. “Janie?” he whispered. “I’m sorry I said it. I shouldn’t have.”
“No,” she breathed, her hazel eyes bright and luminous, as she gazed at him in wonder. “I hoped you did. I thought you did by how you acted. But you never said.” A tear tracked down her cheek. “You’ve never said.”
Tobias rose, his boots scraping on the floor, the only sound in the otherwise quiet kitchen. “How could you not know how much I love and cherish you, my beautiful daughter? You’ve brought so much joy into my life.” His hands shook, as he reached out to softly swipe at her cheeks. “I give thanks
every day for you.”
“Oh, Father,” Jane cried, as she threw herself into his arms. “I love you too.” She wrapped her arms around him, as he held her close. After a few moments, she stepped back and blushed, although a huge smile burst forth.
They sat at his small table, and she poured them tea and shared cookies. “Ah, snickerdoodles,” he said. “Anna always makes the best treats.” After gobbling down half a cookie, he studied his daughter. “Are you well?”
She smiled enigmatically. “First, I want to know what troubles you, Father. Why were you looking so morose when I entered the store today?”
Tobias sat back and shrugged. “I had hoped Alvira and I would have a future.” His cheeks reddened, but he shared his dreams with his daughter. Staring into her eyes, he whispered, “For the first time since your mother, I’ve felt hope.”
“Oh, how wonderful!” Jane exclaimed, reaching forward to clasp his hand. She frowned when she saw the flash of despair in his gaze. “What happened?”
He shook his head. “That’s the problem. I don’t know. She’s distant and prickly and hasn’t wanted to see me since she caught me leaving her a treat at her cabin nearly a week ago.” He sighed. “Perhaps she’s come to realize I’m not the man she wants.”
Jane bit her lip, her brows furrowed as she thought. “Or she’s had her mind filled with ludicrous stories about you.” At her father’s quirk of his eyebrow, she made a face. “I saw her talking to Mrs. Jameson a few days ago but didn’t think anything of it.”
Tobias paled. “That witch,” he whispered. “She loathes me.”
“She loathes everyone, although she does seem particularly fond of disparaging you.” Holding up a hand, his daughter shook her head. “I have no desire to know any of the particulars. However, I suspect that is why your Miss Damon might have had a change of heart. When I saw her before she spoke with Mrs. Jameson, Miss Damon seemed light of spirit and like a schoolgirl.” She flushed. “Like how I feel when I think of Ben.”
Substitute Montana Bride: Bear Grass Springs, Book Thirteen Page 9