Chuckling, Tobias sat down. “Not bilious. Worried.”
His uncle nodded, as he sipped at his cup of coffee. “Your new woman’s got you tied in knots. I thought you’d choose wisely this time.”
Rubbing at his head, he shrugged. “I thought I had. I focused on my hope for the future, rather than understanding the need others have to relive the past.”
Harold made a grunt of displeasure, as he stretched out a leg and shifted in his seat. “Seems to me that she’s been listening to the wrong people. Or she ain’t been payin’ attention.” He raised an eyebrow. “We’ve all been fools in the past.” His eyes clouded, as though recalling his recent treatment of Philomena. “We have to hope those we love are generous enough to forgive us and to not relish hurting us with the painful reminders of our idiocy.”
Tobias gazed at his uncle. “Peter forgives you, Uncle.”
Harold huffed out a breath. “I know, but I find it hard to forgive myself.” He stared at Tobias. “Just as you do. You lived twenty years separated from us. Twenty years of purgatory. That’s long enough, my boy.” Glancing around the kitchen, his eyes lit with joy. “I never thought to sit here, at the ranch, with you again. To have Frederick enter, as he did the other day, his arm over your shoulders, delighted in your presence.”
Closing his eyes for a moment, Tobias nodded. “I know. Every time I’m here, it’s as though another fragment of me heals.”
Tapping his fingers on the table, Harold studied his nephew. Related through Irene’s family, Tobias had joined them just before they left Fort Benton—to find land to start their ranch, after the Homestead Act of 1862. Tobias had had a parcel of land, which he’d forfeited after his affair with his nephews’ mother. “Do you want your land back?”
Tobias choked on the bite of eggs he’d just taken, coughing and sputtering. After taking a sip of coffee, he gaped at Harold. “Back? I can’t take back the land. That would ruin the ranch. It wouldn’t be fair to Frederick.” He shook his head. “I was paid for the land, and I have my store now.”
“Bah.” Harold waved his hand, dismissing his nephew’s arguments. “Your store, how much joy does that bring you? Debating with ladies between different shades of pink? Ordering supplies and hoping the train arrives on time?” He gazed at his nephew. “You come alive every time you set foot on the ranch. Admit it.”
Sighing, he set down his fork and gripped his coffee cup. “Of course I do. This place has always felt the most like home.” He shook his head. “Until recently, Uncle.” He flushed as he met his uncle’s curious stare. “Recently, when I’ve thought of running the store and sharing my evenings with Alvira, I’ve not mourned all that I’ve lost. I’ve looked forward to my future.”
Harold smiled. “Finally your present and your future are more enticing than your past.”
The delighted gleam in Tobias’s gaze faded, and he played with his food with the tine of his fork. “I thought so. For a little while.” Tobias smiled. “Even without Vera, I have Jane, and she is to have a babe. I’ll be a grandfather.”
Harold reached forward and gripped his arm. “Wonderful news!” He gazed with understanding at his nephew. “Yet another reason to remain in town. You don’t want to miss out on those memories.”
Tobias shook his head, his gaze filled with regret. “No,” he whispered in a soft voice. “I missed so much with Jane. I want to see her baby grow. I want to know my grandchild.”
Harold huffed out a breath, crossing his arms over his belly. “Return to town soon, my boy. You’ve let your woman stew long enough. Now you must see what she will do.”
Tobias nodded. “I plan to return today.”
* * *
Entering the barn, Tobias saw Slims preparing the horses that would lead his sleigh back into town. “Slims,” Tobias said. “I’ve meant to speak with you while I was here, and now I’m leaving.”
Slims stared at him with a guarded gaze. “It’s been good to have you here, Tobias. Frederick’s delighted in your visit, as are Harold and Irene.” He paused before he spoke in a low voice. “It’s been like the old days.”
Nodding, Tobias cleared his throat. “I can never thank you enough for finding Alvira. For helping her that day and for ensuring that she was well, by bringing her to Cailean’s.”
Slims gave a jerk of his head. “I would have done the same for any woman. I’m delighted it was for yours.”
Tobias ignored Slims calling Alvira his and asked, “How is Davina? I didn’t have the chance to see her.” His brows furrowed, as he stared with concern at a man he’d always wanted to consider friend.
“She’s well,” Slims said, unable to hide the glint of pride and fear in his gaze. “She’s to have our babe soon, and she’s tired. Helen said she shouldn’t exert herself and to spend most of her time in bed. She’s bored but hopeful.”
Shaking his head in confusion, Tobias whispered, “I don’t understand.”
“She lost children in Scotland. During her first marriage. They were born healthy but died before they were two years old. She’s terrified of suffering the same torment.” Slims stared at him with terror, with the torment of a husband uncertain how to soothe his beloved’s deepest fear. “Nothing but time, and our baby’s continued good health, will ease her worry.”
Gripping the large man’s shoulder, Tobias stared deeply into his eyes. “Anything you need … Anything I can do …” He swallowed. “Tell me.” At Slims’s nod, Tobias released his shoulder and stepped away, marveling, “She has such courage.”
Smiling with pride and love, Slims nodded. “Aye, she does. Although she has faith in my love, and she no longer fears I’ll abandon her or change, if the worst happens again.” He looked at Tobias. “She understands that, as long as I have her, I can survive anything.” He cleared his throat. “Or I hope I can.”
Murmuring what he hoped was a soothing sound, Tobias waited for Slims to say something else. When he didn’t, Tobias turned to the horses and the empty sleigh. “I’m to head into town now that the weather is good.”
Chuckling, Slims teased, “No, Tobias, you’re returning because you’re impatient to see your woman. We all know and understand. Good luck. I hope to hear of your wedding soon.” He pulled Tobias close, slapping him on the back. “The only reason I wouldn’t be at your wedding is if it’s near Davina’s time or soon after Davina has our babe. I won’t leave her alone.”
* * *
Tobias returned to his store and home, shivering at the cold. Although Jane and Peter had looked in while he was away, they hadn’t lit the stove, as they didn’t know when he would return. After restarting the stove downstairs in the kitchen, he walked up the back stairs, leading to his living space. It was a large space, meant for a family.
At the front was a large living room, with a sofa, comfortable chairs, a thick carpet on the floor, plus a potbellied stove set on bricks to warm the room. It overlooked the main street in front of the building, and he often sat at the window at night, watching the men as they caroused from saloon to saloon. He’d long since lost his desire to join them.
Although he had bedrooms toward the middle of the space, with small side windows, two were dust filled and rarely entered. He had chosen a smaller room at the very rear for his bedroom, as it was the quietest room, and, from bed, he could look out a back window to a hill covered in trees.
With a sigh, he sat on his bed for a moment, looking around the slightly worn space and wondered what a woman would think of it. If Alvira were willing to live with him, marry him, he didn’t care how much she spent on any refurbishment. All he wanted was her.
He rose, walking down the stairs to the kitchen, where he set a kettle on to brew hot water, uncertain if he wanted tea or coffee. He then rummaged around, searching for something to eat. With a sigh, he realized he’d probably give in and go to Peter’s café for supper. Perhaps they’d let him eat in the kitchen. He had no desire to smile and to act jovial in the main dining room.
At the
soft knock on the back door, he spun, calling out, “How’d you know I was already back?” His smile faded, as he opened the door. “Alvira.”
She paled. “You were expecting someone else. I’m such a fool.”
“No!” he cried out, grabbing her arm. “No, I thought it was Jane, come to ask about her cousin and aunt and uncle. Please, stay.” He released her, stepping back and allowing her to enter.
“I shouldn’t be here. My reputation is already being questioned by some,” she said, with a shiver, as she moved toward the stove.
“By whom?” Tobias demanded, setting a hand gently on her arm. “Only an imbecile would doubt your good standing in this town.”
“Mr. Whitlock doesn’t like me,” she said in a soft voice. “He’s attempting to find any reason for me to be voted off by the school board.”
“You do know that the MacKinnons hold a powerful sway in this town, don’t you?” At her bemused nod, he smiled. “They are the ones who hired you, and they will find a way to prevent you from being forced away. Ewan MacKinnon is on the board, as is Ben, my son-in-law, and Warren Clark, a close associate of theirs. The lawyer you met. You have little to worry from them.”
“If the outcry is loud enough from the parents, Tobias, I will have little choice but to leave, thankful the board grants me a good recommendation.” She closed her eyes, as her shoulders slumped in defeat. “I knew I shouldn’t come here.”
“To Montana or to visit me tonight?”
She stared at him for a long moment. “To see you tonight.”
Her whispered admission caused a kernel of hope to bloom in his chest. “Then why did you?” He now stood away from her, one hip leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. Although he gave the appearance of a relaxed man, his hands gripped his arms to prevent him from striding to her and enfolding her in his embrace. “Why bother?”
She lifted her gaze, her blue eyes filled with trepidation and hope. “I needed to see you. I had no desire to be interrupted as someone arrived to fill an order or to … to have someone lingering outside listening in. I wanted time with you.”
“Why?” he rasped, his eyes lit with a passionate need to understand.
“I’ve missed you. From the moment I left my sickbed, I’ve wanted to see you,” she whispered. When he remained quiet, she took a deep stuttering breath. “That’s not true.” She flushed, as he continued to stare at her with a passionate intensity. “From the moment you left me in that bed, all I’ve thought about is you.” She took a deep breath. “I’ve thought, constantly, about what you said to me when I was at Cailean and Annabelle MacKinnon’s.”
“What did I say?” he asked. “What did you hear?”
She smiled, and he felt a leap of joy that fanned the flutter of hope he was unable to control. In this moment, she looked twenty years younger, like a young woman filled with faith in the future, before fate had ever betrayed her. Quite simply, she took his breath away.
“You’re a man to be admired,” she whispered. “You survived heartache, deception, and years of loneliness.” She paused, her eyes filling. “You’re a man who wants me.” Her voice shook on me and rang with incredulousness at the thought.
“Of course I do.” His gaze glowed with the intensity of his feelings.
“I’ve had too much time to think while you were away. I don’t want to allow fear to ruin what we might have. I want to be brave.” She swallowed, her courage faltering as he remained quiet. “If you still want me.”
Losing his battle to remain away from her, he strode to her, his hands rising to cup her face. “Of course I do. How could I not?” He smiled, as he lowered his forehead to rest against hers. “You’re smart and witty and resourceful. You’ve survived heartache but not become bitter. You make my heart soar just by entering a room.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist, holding on to him tightly. “I fear there are moments I’ll falter.”
“Believe in what we can have together, Vera. If you falter, I’ll be there to help you find your strength again, just as I will count on you to do the same for me.” He moved his head, brushing his lips over her brow and down the side of her face to her cheeks. He paused when he felt moisture on her skin. Backing away, his thumb stroked away her tear. “Vera?”
“I never imagined such happiness could be mine.”
His chest tightened at her words, as she expressed how he felt. With a groan, he leaned forward, kissing her passionately. His arms banded around her, tugging her close, as one hand dug into her hair, freeing it from the confining pins.
With a moan of frustration, he swore softly at her heavy cloak between them, and he continued to nip at her mouth, as he backed away to undo buttons, pushing the outerwear off her and onto the floor. Hauling her into his arms again, he groaned to feel her against him. “God, you are beautiful,” he rasped.
Shuddering as her hands roved over him, he deepened the kiss, as he spun her and pressed her against a wall between the store and the kitchen, completely in shadows. With marauding hands, he felt her quiver at his light reverent touch. “You make me burn,” he whispered, his mouth dropping to her neck, as he gasped for air.
Panting, she arched back, as his lips spread fire down her neck. “Take me upstairs. Please, Toby. Please,” she gasped, as he nibbled her earlobe.
He groaned and shuddered. “No, my darling, no,” he whispered, his hold on her easing, although he didn’t release her from his gentle embrace.
She froze in his arms, rigid, no longer pliant with passion. “You don’t want me.”
He chuckled, kissing her cheek. “Of course I do.” He backed away, staring deeply into her eyes. Although they were in the shadows of the room, there was enough light for them to see each other well. “You can see I do, Vera.” He waited until he felt her relax again in his embrace. “I want you. By all that is holy, I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want you.” He let out a stuttering breath. “But I refuse to bind you to me until I know you are sure.”
She stared at him in confusion. “How can you doubt?” She gazed deeply into his eyes and stood on her toes, kissing him softly, before backing away to look into his eyes again. “I know you’ve been disappointed in the past. That you’ve thought you had forever and then had it denied you.” Her gaze glowed with passionate hope. “Ask me,” she whispered. “Be brave and ask.”
Tobias stood for several long seconds, gazing into her eyes. Finally he took a deep breath, his hold on her tightening, as though he feared she’d disappear as readily as a dream. “Will you marry me, Alvira Damon?” he whispered. “Marry me and accept all that entails?”
She smiled, unable to hide her luminous joy. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Tobias. I’ll stand by you and believe in you, not the lies spoken about you.” She kissed him again, as a tear trickled down her cheek.
“Vera,” he breathed, wrapping his arms around her, holding her close. “I don’t have a ring.”
She giggled, her head pressed against his heart. “I don’t care about a ring. I care about you.” She ran her hand up and down his back. “Can we have a short engagement?”
Tobias reared back, gazing at her in wonder. “Truly? That is what you desire?” At her nod, he let out a whoop of delight, kissing her again. “Yes, we’ll marry as soon as possible.” He enfolded her in his arms again, at peace to have her in his embrace.
* * *
The following day after school, Alvira sat at her desk, planning the lessons for tomorrow and beyond. The schoolchildren were enjoying learning Christmas songs for the small performance they had planned for the week before the holiday. She had been uncertain if they would be willing to attempt a holiday pageant, but they had surprised her.
Although she tried again and again to focus on her lesson plans, her mind continually wandered to Tobias and to her dreams for the future with him.
“Aren’t you the sly little miss,” a woman called out.
Alvira jerked, rising as she heard footsteps approaching
. She frowned, as she did not recognize the woman walking toward her. “I beg your pardon? Are you concerned about one of the children here?”
“I’m concerned for all of them, being taught by such a harlot,” the woman said, with a sneer. Her hair was more gray than blond, and her cold blue eyes held a calculating glint. “I would have thought the school board could have found a better teacher than you.”
Flushing, Alvira straightened her shoulders. “I’m certain I have no need to listen to your abuse. Please leave, ma’am.”
Cackling with glee, the woman looked around the sparse room, the stove in the back pumping out a small amount of heat. “I heard a remarkable rumor today.” She stared at Alvira. “You’re to marry Tobias.” With a sashay of her hips, she approached the front of the room. “You should really take more care in the men you trust.”
“How dare you imply …”
“Oh, I imply nothing. I know from firsthand experience. He’ll use you and then cast you aside, when you’re no longer of any interest.” She waved around. “You’ll turn into me. An outcast without a reputation, desperate to find another man as a protector.”
“Who are you?” Alvira asked.
“One who should never have been discarded, while Tobias was accepted back into the bosom of my family!” she spat. “You’d readily give up your freedom to bind yourself to a man? You should know better than that.”
“The townsfolk like me,” Alvira protested. “There’s no reason I can’t teach after I marry.”
“Oh, no wonder he likes you. Gullible as well as foolish.” She walked away. “Give my regards to my son, Peter, the next time you see him. I’m so looking forward to meeting my grandchild.”
After she heard the door clang shut, Alvira collapsed onto her chair, her mind racing. She realized she’d just met Katrina Tompkins, and she was as vile as had been rumored. Her ability to stoke fear and discord had not been exaggerated. However, as Alvira rose to race home, she worried she couldn’t overcome the terror Katrina had invoked.
Substitute Montana Bride: Bear Grass Springs, Book Thirteen Page 14