* * *
Tobias’s stare oscillated from Cailean’s back door in the kitchen to the front door, as he waited with unveiled impatience for Alvira’s arrival. When the clock struck noon, he rose and paced. “What could take her so long?” he muttered to himself, as he watched through a window, as Hortence and Mildred played in the snow outside. When they looked up at him, he waved, smiling at their youthful enthusiasm for being outdoors in the cold.
As he heard footsteps entering the kitchen from the main part of the house, Tobias spun, exasperation flitting across his expression as he stared at Annabelle. “Forgive me. I’m always delighted to see you.”
She smirked, as she rubbed her hands on her apron. “Perhaps, although I know you’d rather be cuddled up with Alvira. Go to her, Tobias, and bring her here. I fear she’s filled her head with nonsense and doesn’t believe she should intrude on our family day.”
“She is family,” he said in a low voice, brooking no argument.
Annabelle nodded. “I know it, and you know it, but she doesn’t. Not fully. She’s coming to accept it, but her fears are hard to overcome.” She arched her back and smiled again. “Go while everyone is away, settling those who just arrived from the ranch.”
Tobias nodded, his gaze filled with gratitude at Annabelle’s insight. If he went for Alvira now, before everyone arrived, none would be the wiser of her indecision. “Thank you, Annabelle. Thank you for more than I could ever say.” He slipped from the room, tugging on his outerwear near the front door, before venturing out for the short journey to her cabin.
Once there, he stood on her doorstep. He knocked, listening intently for the sounds of her approaching the door. When she stood in front of him, in a beautiful evergreen dress with a red broach pinned to her chest, he smiled. “You look beautiful,” he whispered. “I’ve missed you at the MacKinnons.” His gaze was steady as he saw the doubt, shame, and fear in her gaze. “May I come in?”
She nodded, stepping back, as she wrapped her arms around her belly, as though protecting herself from him. “I … Thank you for the treat this morning.”
He smiled, as he stuffed his gloves in his coat pocket. “Thank you for blowing me a kiss.” His smile deepened as he saw her blush. “Why aren’t you at the MacKinnons as planned?” He waited for her to reply, taking a step closer to her, as her breath hitched. “You’ve been missed.”
“It’s a day for family.” She closed her eyes and bowed her head.
“Yes, and you’re part of the family.” He waited for her to meet his gaze. When she kept her head lowered, he cupped her cheek, his thumb moving over her soft skin. “I thought you realized that.”
Her breath sawed in and out of her. “I do … partly.” She met his gaze, and it was filled with hurt and the echo of pain. “It hurts to want so much and to fear it at the same time.” At his gentle nod, she spoke, her words bursting out, “I loved before you, Toby. Not just a man but his family. I found acceptance and laughter and a joy that nourished my soul, as my own family never had.” She swallowed. “When I lost it all, the man and the family, I thought I’d never survive.”
“You did, Vera.” His soft voice was as a caress. “You did.”
“I woke, so excited for today. So eager for my time with you and the family. And then I lost myself to fear this morning.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “I’m so afraid of you realizing I’m not worthy of your love. Of the family’s love.”
He groaned and tugged her close, holding her against his pounding heart. “Oh, my love. My darling,” he whispered into her ear. “You are. You are worthy of everything good and joyful.”
She clung to him, resting her head on his shoulder. “I must show you something.” She eased out of his hold, turning to her rocking chair and plucking a letter out of a book. It looked as though she had used it as a bookmark, although it was not well-read or worn. It appeared she had only read it once. She put it in his hand.
He stared at her for a long moment before he focused on the missive. The more he read, the angrier he became, with reddened cheeks and harsh breath. “You know this is a pile of horse dung?” He held up the letter, clasped between two fingers, as though it were the most offensive thing he’d ever seen. “None of this is true.”
“I did run, the moment I found a new position.”
“After eight years.” He shook his head. “You lived that long with their ridicule and scorn?” Turning to the kitchen, he approached her wood stove, heating her cabin, lifted one of the covers to a burner, and held the letter over it. With a raised eyebrow, he waited. After she gave a small jerk of her head, he dropped the letter into it, watching with glee as it burned to ash.
He took a long breath before he faced her, his eyes wild with his anger. “They were fools not to realize what they had in you.” He paused, as he stared at her. “Did you never wonder that they are acting out of guilt?” When she stared at him in bewilderment, he murmured, “Their determination to have him marry someone other than you caused the subterfuge that led to his death.”
“It was my fault,” she cried out. “Mine! If I hadn’t been selfish and rejoiced in my time with him …”
“No, Vera. You’re human, as was he. He wanted time with you. Any man of sense would. The blizzard was a horrible tragedy.” He cupped her cheeks, resting his forehead against hers. “Let them go, my love. They aren’t worth ruining what we will have.”
Throwing herself against him, she burrowed close, her tears quickly abating. “Forgive me my foolishness,” she whispered.
“There’s nothing to forgive, my darling.” He kissed the top of her head. “You loved before, as did I.” He let out a shaky breath. “I know what a miracle this is.” He saw her nod, and any of the anxiety he felt eased. He lowered his head, murmuring, “I love you.”
Her hands gripped him tightly, as she pressed her forehead to his. “I love you, my Tobias.” She let out a stuttering sigh. “I’m so ashamed the MacKinnons and your family will know I’m a coward.”
“Hush,” he admonished, as he rubbed a soothing hand over her back. “No one, except Annabelle, knows that you hadn’t arrived before I came here. The rest have been too busy all morning, settling in the arrivals from the ranch. If we arrive with them there, they’ll think we went on a walk for a little alone time before the wedding. None will question our desire for time to canoodle.” He leaned away to wink at her.
“Will your aunt and uncle like me?” she asked in a low voice.
Finally he understood the resurrection of her fear and doubts today. His family’s arrival from the ranch had restoked her fears. Lowering his head, he kissed her softly once, then again. “Give them a chance to love you as I do. Please.”
She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder for a moment. “Thank you for coming for me.”
“I’ll always seek you out, my darling.” Easing her away, he ran a hand over her hair and smiled at her again. “Come. I want my aunt and uncle to meet you, and I know Sorcha will love you.” He beamed at her as he saw hope in her gaze again. With a satisfied smile, he helped her into her outerwear and held her close, as they strolled to the big MacKinnon home, where there would be Christmas festivities for days.
* * *
Alvira had barely set foot into the MacKinnon home before she heard a screech and saw a short plump woman barreling toward her. Acting on instinct, she opened her arms wide, as the woman threw herself into Alvira’s arms and held her close.
“Ach, ’tis about time the two of ye decided to return!” the woman said, as she stepped away and placed hands on her hips, her light-blue eyes sparkling with mischief as she beheld Alvira. “Ah, ye’re lovely, an’ I can see why Tobias fell for ye.”
“Sorcha,” Tobias muttered, a flush limning his cheeks.
At the other woman’s laugh, Alvira couldn’t repress a smile. “I’m Alvira.” She flushed at the inanity of the comment, as her identity wasn’t in question.
“I ken. I’m Sorcha Tompkins, but I was a MacK
innon afore, aye?” she said, with a broad smile. “Oh, I wish Davina were here, an’ ye could meet her too. But she just had a wee bairn, a beautiful girl she called Elise. When you come to the ranch, you’ll meet her and Slims.” She tugged on Alvira’s arms. “Come meet the wee devils. They’re growin’ more every day and will be two soon.”
“Wee devils?” Alvira asked, as she cast a glance in Tobias’s direction at the whirlwind that was Sorcha. When he motioned for her to follow Sorcha, Alvira realized there was no use battling the inevitable.
“Aye, my twins. Wee Harold and Mairi. I fear Wee Harold will grow to be as much of a rascal as his grandpapa,” Sorcha said in a carrying whisper, earning a chuckle from everyone present. Sorcha had tugged Alvira into the living room, where groups chatted and children played on the floor.
Soon Alvira was on the floor, playing with the children. When Mairi stumbled toward her and fell into her arms, Alvira laughed and held the child close, kissing her head, before steadying her so she could get up again. However, Mairi settled into Alvira’s lap with a contented sigh and rested her head against Alvira’s chest before falling asleep.
Wrapping an arm around the girl, Alvira scooted until her back was against the wall, and she rocked ever-so-softly as she hummed to her.
After many minutes, Alvira noted the room had grown quieter, and she looked up to find only an older couple remained in the room. Although every instinct clamored for her to rise and to escape their assessment of her, she remained seated, with little Mairi in her arms. “Hello.” She spoke in a low tone, as she had no desire to wake the precious girl.
“You have the touch,” the older woman proclaimed, as the man beside her gave a huff of agreement. At Alvira’s confused stare, she spoke in a low voice. “That girl never goes to anyone she doesn’t know well. She’s a bit skittish, even though her brother is fearless. I’ve always thought he got the lion’s share of bravery, while she got his share of sweetness.” Her eyes sparkled with love and devotion. “Not that he’s a bad boy. Just prone to mischief.”
“As he should be,” the older man proclaimed beside her. “Has to live up to his namesake.” He grumbled when she tapped him on his knee, although he winked and grinned at Alvira.
“You’re Mr. and Mrs. Tompkins,” Alvira said. “Irene and Harold. You used to run the café in town.” At their nods, she absently dipped her head and kissed Mairi’s soft hair, the motion calming her. “How do you like the ranch?”
Irene chuckled and sat on the settee. “Oh, aren’t you a wonder? Acting as though this is a mere social call and like we’ve known you forever.” She shook her head, as she marveled at Alvira. “I can see why Tobias was in such a state, when he thought he’d lost you.”
Flushing, Alvira kept her gaze steady. “He never lost me,” she whispered. “I merely needed time.”
“For what?” Harold asked. “To realize the man you cared for was more than the gossip spewed about town?”
Alvira swallowed, her hand running over Mairi’s back. “Partly. And to realize that I was worthy of such a man’s affections. Not everything is as simple as we would like, Mr. Tompkins.” She let out a breath, as though she would say more, but instead dipped her head and remained silent.
“Well put,” he said, with a pleased smile. “I knew our Tobias would pick a worthy woman this time. I’m only thankful the schoolboard chose you.” He winked at her. “I had my suspicions you would give Tobias a run for his money.”
Sputtering, Alvira gaped at the older man. “How could you possibly have suspected that?” She shook her head at the thought. “I had no inclination to find romance when I arrived.”
Harold chuckled. “Because you had no inclination is the best indication that you were ready for our Tobias. If you’d been eager for his attentions, he would have never been intrigued by you, and you would be sitting in your cabin, lonely, wishing you could be with all of us today.”
Alvira laughed at his teasing tone. “Oh, you are a rascal.” She flushed as soon as she spoke. “I beg your pardon. That’s impertinent, and I should never have said that.”
Irene chuckled and nodded. “He is and you should. We aren’t afraid of plain talk, as long as what you say isn’t mean. We never set out to intentionally hurt anyone we care about.”
Staring at the older woman, Alvira nodded, understanding the subtle warning and the implied promise in Irene’s words. Alvira was safe with them, and they would care for her. Unbidden, tears formed, and she lowered her head, although she couldn’t hide her face, due to holding Mairi. “Forgive me,” she gasped, as a tear leaked out.
Irene scooted forward, so she could caress her head. “You’ll never know how delighted we are that you are a part of our family.”
Harold nodded. “Tobias has been alone too long, and he needs a woman who will challenge him and will love him as he is.”
Alvira stared at them in wonder. “I do.” She sniffled, not saying anything more.
The moment was interrupted as Sorcha and Tobias entered the room. Tobias glared at his aunt and uncle to find Alvira crying, and Sorcha eased Mairi from Alvira’s arms. When she was free of the girl, Alvira shook out her arms and rose.
“Come here, darling,” Tobias murmured, pulling her close.
“I’m fine, Toby,” she whispered, resting her cheek against his chest. “I discovered just how much better it is when reality surpasses dreams.” She smiled, as she kissed his cheek and faced his aunt and uncle. “I’d only ever dreamed of a family like this. I never thought I’d truly be welcomed and accepted.”
Irene beamed at her. “You are, Alvira. You are.”
* * *
That evening, after a huge feast, the singing of Christmas carols, and gifts opened, Tobias escorted Alvira home. “Have they scared you away from wanting to marry me?” he teased.
“Heavens no,” she gasped, as her hand on his arm spasmed and held him tighter. “It’s only made me want to marry you more.” She bit her lip as she stared at him. “Come inside for a moment.”
After they had entered her home, and she had lit a lamp, she sat in her rocking chair, while he sat in another facing her. “I have to say something, and I should say it now. I never want there to be misunderstandings between us that can be avoided.”
Tobias attempted to hide his instinctual nervousness at her words but was unable to. “Vera.” He cleared his throat. “I thought you enjoyed your time with them.”
She made a shushing sound, as she leaned forward and grabbed his hand. “I did. You know I did.” Her eyes glowed. “I never thought to feel such warmth. I loved helping to wash dishes and to share in the gossip. I relished the time I had with the children, reading them stories tonight. It brought me such joy, watching you with your nephews and your uncle.” She paused, as she swallowed and took a deep breath.
“I never want you to believe that I want you for your family, Toby.” Her soft voice quivered with sincerity. “I will always want you most of all.” When he stared at her in stupefied silence, her eyes filled. “Please tell me you understand that.”
Leaning forward, he fell to his knees in front of her, his gaze lit with wonder, as he stared at her. He gripped one of her shoulders, the other hand on her knee. “How could you ever worry I’d think that?” He shook his head and chuckled. “I do not doubt you, Alvira.”
She nodded, the tension seeping from her. “I found such joy, being a part of their family tonight, but I would have felt none of the contentment and elation if you hadn’t been there. If I hadn’t been able to look up and to see your smile. To know that, in a few days, we would wed.”
He arched up, kissing her tenderly. “Yes, in a few short days, we will wed. You will be mine.”
“And you will be mine,” she whispered back. “For I refuse for this to be one-sided.”
“Oh, it’s far from one-sided, my darling,” he said, as he kissed her again. With a sigh, he leaned away. “I should go, as I don’t want to ruin your reputation any more than I have be
fore our wedding.” He rose, wrapping his arms around her when she stood. “I’ll come by in the morning. Will you have breakfast with me before we go to the MacKinnons? Everyone prefers to have a quiet morning at home, before we gather again in the early afternoon.”
“Oh, I’d love that.” She kissed his cheek. “I love you, Tobias.”
He grinned at her. “I love you too, my darling. Sweet dreams.” He raised her hand and kissed her palm. “Soon we won’t have to be separated.” With a wink, he sauntered away, his spirit light, as he envisioned his wedding day to the woman of his dreams.
Chapter 14
Tobias paced around his living quarters the morning of his wedding. He knew he had hours before he was to arrive at the church, but he wished he could go there now, say his vows, and sequester himself away with his bride. His wife. An unfounded fear filled him that she would come to her senses, and he would stand at the front of the church, alone and heartsore, as he waited for her.
He wandered from the large living area to the bedrooms. His small bedroom had been swept, dusted, and the furniture polished, with fresh sheets on the bed. A newly tatted lace doily sat atop the bureau, a gift from Fidelia, and a bright patchwork quilt, from Sorcha, rested on top of the bed.
Looking around his bedroom, he hoped Alvira would like this room too. He enjoyed looking out the window and seeing the hills in the distance. He preferred to have a room as far from the front and the noise of town as possible. However, he knew he’d do whatever Alvira wanted. If she preferred the larger bedroom in the middle of the living space with a small window facing the neighbors, he would happily change rooms. Anything to ensure she was happy in her new home.
With a sigh, he rubbed at his head. “Anything,” he whispered to himself, momentarily terrified he couldn’t keep her happy. Although she would still be able to teach, he worried that she would come to resent him and their marriage. He worried that what he had to offer would never be enough.
Substitute Montana Bride: Bear Grass Springs, Book Thirteen Page 18