“I completely get it. I don’t blame you for being cautious.” No wonder he’s so hard on himself. No wonder he won’t forgive himself or give himself even a single break. I can’t expect him to do something that left his best friend dead and brought his whole world crashing down.
“Gaire offered to bring Warrick back from the dead in return for handing you over to him.” He looks me in the eyes. I see despair.
“Wow!” I sit back in my chair. That was the last thing I expected to hear. “He’s afraid. I told you he’s running scared.” My mouth feels like it’s full of cotton wool.
“He didn’t look scared to me.”
“Trust me on this. Why would he try to make a deal if he has the upper hand? Maybe the sex worked even with the condom.” I shrug.
“Maybe.” He’s frowning.
“I’ve never known anyone to break one of his bones, and I’ve never seen Gaire offer anyone a deal. Not ever!” I feel my heart sinking. “You’re going to do it, then?”
“Do what? Hand you over?” He’s frowning heavily.
I nod. “I would understand if you did. You hardly know me. You could right a wrong.”
“I do know you, Nia.” He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. Then he lets go. I think he can see how tense I’ve become. I like the affection, but I don’t want it. I can’t go there. “I won’t stop fighting for you or trying to get you free. Besides, I think Gaire is full of shit. I don’t think he can bring Warrick back, and if he does, I can’t see him being the same as before. He won’t be my best friend anymore. He’ll be something else.”
“I appreciate that you won’t stop fighting for me. You know that I can’t jump into a relationship with you, though.” I have to remind him, because I can feel things shifting between us. “There won’t be an us. I can’t—”
“You don’t have to explain. I know. I get it. You’re afraid.”
I nod. “I am. I don’t want to lose control of myself all over again.”
Rage gives me a half-smile for a moment or two. “I understand that more than most, I assure you. At least you won’t end up killing indiscriminately if you do,” he mutters.
I snort out a laugh. It holds no humor. “What do you think Gaire wants me for? In my hellhound form, I’m formidable.”
“I can well imagine. You might need to show me what that looks like some time. Your hellhound form.” His eyes are glinting.
I smile, but it quickly sours. “He wants to turn me into a tracking, killing machine.” I shiver, wrapping my arms around myself. “Not everyone he’ll expect me to take down will be evil or deserving of his punishment. I can’t fight these compulsions forever. So, I will be expected to kill indiscriminately. It’ll be hell. I think you understand how that would feel.”
He nods. “Then we’re more alike than we ever imagined.”
I pick at a piece of loose thread on the sofa. “There’s something you need to know…”
“What’s that?” He frowns.
“You are making the decision not to hand me over because you don’t believe Gaire can bring your friend back.” I pull in a breath. “He can, Rage. You need to know that he can, and he will.” I look down at my hands. “I would understand if you decided not to help me anymore in return for Warrick.”
“You’re saying Gaire can get Warrick back? That he’ll be normal? Not some zombie, or—”
“He’ll be exactly how he was when he died.”
“Sixteen years old?”
I nod. I’m practically holding my breath. I can’t blame him if he takes the deal. “All I ask is that you renegotiate the terms. Tell him you won’t be involved, in exchange for your friend’s return. Tell him you’ll stop helping me in return for Warrick. Please don’t hand me over. Let me get away first. Give me a fighting chance.” Gaire will still find me. Without the help of Rage and his friends, it won’t take long, and there won’t be any defense against him. At least, I don’t think there will be. I will have to hope that I’m no longer as bound to that bastard.
“Stop.” Rage cups my face and lifts my chin. He’s smiling. He’s beautiful when he smiles. His eyes lighten up. They go from a black starless night to a gorgeous, gunmetal gray. “I can see your mind working. As much as I wish I could bring Warrick back, I won’t do it. It doesn’t seem right, somehow. And then there’s you, Nia. I’m not handing you over to a sadistic fuck like Gaire. I won’t. Thank you for confiding in me about Gaire being able to come through with his bargain, but…it’s not going to happen. Warrick was such a good person. I know if I gave him the option, he wouldn’t want me to do it either.”
“Thank you.” I wrap my arms around Rage. I breathe him in for a few seconds.
His arms are around me too. Then he’s sliding his hands up and down my back and kissing my neck. It feels good. Too good. I pull away. “This isn’t a good idea.”
I see something flash in his eyes. Disappointment…is there more? He schools his emotions and clears his throat. “Yeah, of course.”
I don’t have to say anything more. He knows why it’s a bad idea. I think he’s developing feelings for me. Someone like Rage would be easy to fall for right back. I could fall in love with him quickly and fall hard. Far worse than I ever did with Gaire.
No!
I won’t!
I don’t want Rage to feel bad about my rejection, so I make an excuse. “I’m hungry. Starving, actually.” I realize that it’s actually true. “I’m also tired. All that teleporting. We’re hoping that Gaire doesn’t find us as easily, but who knows… I think we should work on getting our strength back.”
“I’ll make you something to eat.” Rage stands. He goes over to the refrigerator. “What about a sandwich? Or I could grill up some steaks?”
“A sandwich would be great. I’ll help.”
“Stay right there,” he says. “Let me do this for you.”
I nod. Yep, I could fall for Rage in a hot minute. I feel for this man. He’s so hard on himself. So tortured. I can’t imagine how he must feel. He’s already lost so much.
21
Rage
Later that day…
I wake up with a start. Nia is on the bed next to me. She’s still sleeping. I look around the room, which is bathed in shadows. The sun must be setting. We’ve been sleeping for hours. I listen for footfalls, a heartbeat, anything out of the ordinary. I get nothing. It doesn’t mean that nothing is there.
Gaire will be here soon. I know it. The idea to take us back to the last place Gaire expects us to go was a good one. It’s that, or he’s giving me some time to think about his offer.
Nia mutters something incoherent. She quickly settles. I watch her sleep for a while. Then I turn over, because what the fuck am I doing? Nia is right. We can’t do this. I can’t fall in love with her. What would come next, a picket fence? A family?
No fucking way!
That’s if we survive this ordeal. I plan on fighting. I hope Gaire is running scared. That we are stronger now than we were before. Maybe this time we can take him out. I hope to god it’s true. I’ve never met anyone more disgusting than the Huntsman. It sickens me how he pretended to have feelings for Nia. How he spent a whole year pretending to care for her just so that he could end up controlling her. So that he could turn her love for him into something sick and twisted. No wonder Nia is so afraid of what’s happening between us. There I go again. I need to stop and concentrate on keeping her safe.
“Hey,” Nia whispers. “You’re awake.” Her voice is thick with sleep.
“I haven’t been for long. I didn’t realize how tired I was.”
“Me neither. I guess all the teleporting and nearly dying is exhausting.”
“For sure.”
“What’s going through your mind? You look like you were a million miles away just now.” Nia pulls herself up a little onto the pillow.
“I was thinking about that prick and some of the things he said to me.” How he would kill all my friends, incapacitate me, and
then rape Nia while I watched. I’ve never looked into eyes that cold, that calculating. I don’t tell Nia any of this. She is well aware of what kind of a sick person he is. “I didn’t think I would ever want to kill another person again, but I’ve changed my mind. I’ll make an exception when it comes to him.” My voice is deep with anger.
“When it comes time for Gaire to die, I want to do it. If I am able to, that is…otherwise you must do what you need to do, but if there’s a choice, I want it to be me.” She sounds resigned. Like she’s thought this through. “I think it would be better for both of us.”
I also think that maybe she’s trying to spare me. If I kill Gaire it might set me off. It is something I’ve wrestled with. I appreciate that Nia knows this. “Sure thing.”
“Thank you for helping me.” Her voice is so small. It makes my chest clench just hearing how vulnerable she sounds.
“You’re helping me too,” I tell her, turning so that I can look into her eyes. “I’ve never told anyone about what happened to Warrick. I’ve never spoken about that day. Not to my mom, although she tried to talk about it, I couldn’t. I ran every time. The guys know what happened, but we don’t discuss it. It’s become a silent rule.” I pause a second, gathering my thoughts. “I feel better after talking to you. I don’t know why or how, only that I do. You didn’t judge me or try to make light of it. I appreciate that.”
Nia smiles. It lights up her face. She’s so fucking beautiful that my heart aches. I want to tell her some of the things I’m feeling, but I don’t. Nia won’t want to hear them. Instead, I push a strand of hair behind her ear.
I watch her clamp up. I watch as the walls fall into place. I watch the light go out of her eyes. Gaire did that. I pull back, sitting up. “We have two options,” I tell Nia. “We can wait for Gaire to show up, or we can move somewhere else and keep moving until we’re ready to face him.”
“I don’t want to run. I want to try again.” She squeezes her eyes shut. “It has to work this time.”
“I don’t want to run either.” I pull in a breath, “Enough talk of doom and gloom. Do you want to shower first?” I ask. “I have plenty of clean shirts for you to wear.” I lift my brows.
She gives me a half-smile. I read relief on her face. “You go first.”
“Are you used to sharing a bathroom? Did you have to share growing up? I can’t imagine what it’s like having nine brothers.”
She laughs. Her whole face lights up. “Thank god I didn’t have to share. I was the only kid in the house who got their own bathroom on account of being the only girl. I hated having so many brothers growing up, but now that I’m a little older and wiser, I’ve come to realize how precious my family is. I miss them. My family owns a pub in town. It’s everything you would expect, all wood and brass. My grandfather started Hound’s Tooth many years ago.”
“A pub…that’s so interesting.” I smile. “Hound’s Tooth, what a perfect name.”
“I remember being so jealous of my brothers being allowed to work at the pub once they were old enough.” She has this little smile.
“You didn’t work there?”
She shakes her head. “Me, work at a dark, dingy pub? Oh no! I was the little princess of the house. I was wrapped in cotton wool and mollycoddled by everyone in the family…except for Mam.” She frowns. “I hated it so much, and yet I want it all back again. I want to be interrogated before leaving the house. I want my brothers keeping tabs on me. I wouldn’t even mind their smelly shoes and socks lying about the house.”
“You’ll have it back again. All of it,” I promise her.
Nia smiles at me, her eyes are teary, but she isn’t crying. “I’ll have to beg Death for a lift home as soon as this is over.”
“You won’t have to beg. Death is a good guy.”
“I think you’re right about that. I might have misjudged him.”
“We’re not all bad,” I blurt, feeling disappointed that Nia wants to leave so soon, but I completely understand. “What about your dad?” I quickly change the subject, “I’ve heard you talk about your mom but never your dad.”
“Tad is amazing. He had just retired a couple of weeks before I left with Gaire. My brother, Iwan took over managing Hound’s Tooth. My Tad loves my mother more than life itself. He worships the ground she walks on. He’s the sweetest person. I know what a healthy, happy relationship looks like. That’s why I get so mad at myself for falling for Gaire’s bull.”
“You were a young woman who wanted to see the world. You were swept off your feet by a manipulative bastard. You can’t blame yourself.”
“There were signs that I was stupid enough to ignore. It happened once, and once is enough.” There’s pain in her eyes.
I wish I could erase her distrust. Nia is not the kind of woman who will stay bitter forever. She’s right. She needs to find herself. To experience life and freedom, and on her own terms. I know she will love again one day. I am jealous of whoever she will eventually trust with her heart.
I feel like a complete sap. Like the biggest pussy, so I get up and head to the shower. Maybe the warm water will clear my head.
Nia
The next morning…
Rage is setting the table for the two of us. I’ve just broken the eggs into the pan when there’s a knock at the door.
We both stand up straighter, our eyes lock. My hand closes on the spatula, my knuckles go white in an instant.
“I don’t think he would knock,” I say under my breath.
“I doubt it,” Rage agrees. I see all his muscles bulge as he fills with tension.
“It’s me,” a familiar voice booms. I think I know who it is.
Rage’s mouth twitches. I watch him relax. He sighs. “It’s Tri.” He goes over and opens the door.
“Is that bacon I smell?” Trident asks as he walks into the house.
“It is indeed.” I can’t help but smile. I’m happy he’s here. Things have been a little stilted between Rage and me. Maybe it’s just this whole situation. The anxiety over when Gaire is going to show up that’s causing some of the tension. It’s not the only reason, though. There’s this tension between us. I’ve caught him looking at me. I’ve caught myself looking at him too.
It’s weird. We’re not friends, but we’re not lovers either, even though we’ve slept together. We’re something in-between. It’s a weird place to be. I instantly feel some of that tension evaporate as Trident’s wide grin lights the room. “So, how are the lovebirds?” And just like that, it’s back. Rage’s back goes rigid. I see his jaw tic. Tri laughs. “Your faces!” He slaps his leg. “I’m kidding.” He rolls his eyes, still chuckling.
“I need to warn you that you’re in danger of being pulled into another Gaire fight,” Rage says. “We’re expecting him to arrive any minute. In fact,” Rage looks at his watch, “he’s overdue.”
Tri shrugs. “I figured as much. I’ll take my chances, especially if I can get a hot breakfast out of the deal.”
“That bastard is out for blood,” Rage warns.
“I guess so. About that bacon, are you guys okay with sharing?”
I laugh, taking the fried eggs out of the pan. “Absolutely. Take a seat. I’ll fry up a few more eggs, and Rage will set you a place at the table.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” Tri sits.
Rage grabs another place setting while I crack a couple more eggs into the pan. They sizzle as soon as they hit the hot oil.
“So, what have I missed?” Trident asks, leaning back in his chair.
“Nothing much,” Rage says.
A whole lot. I’m not sure if Tri knows what went down yesterday. I concentrate on the eggs. It’s not my place to talk about Warrick. I’m touched that Rage told me about him. I feel a lump form in my throat when I think about how Rage is going to turn Gaire down on his offer. Rage has a chance to bring his friend back. To undo the terrible thing he did…and he’s not taking it. I’m moved and deeply grateful.
“That fucker t
ried to offer me a deal in exchange for Nia.” Rage gets an extra plate and splits the bacon equally between the three of us. “He told me he could bring Warrick back.”
“Holy fuck!” Tri’s eyes go wide. “Can he do that? Doesn’t seem right. What a bastard. That has got to be hard on you. I’m assuming you turned him down,” Tri says, talking quickly.
“I plan on turning him down. I haven’t seen him yet. It isn’t right.” I see the anguish in Rage’s eyes. There’s also anger there.
Tri exhales loudly. “I’m glad.” He makes a face. “It’s fucked up if you ask me. What’s the name of that movie?”
“I thought exactly the same thing. Pet Cemetery.”
“That’s it!” Trident half-yells. “It’s freaky shit.”
“Nia said that he can do it. She said that Warrick would be exactly the same as he was when he died.”
“Gaire can do that?” Tri asks.
I nod. “As Head Huntsman, Gaire has special powers bestowed upon him by Hades.”
“It still seems wrong.”
Rage is scowling. It looks like it’s weighing on him. I hope he hasn’t changed his mind, but I won’t blame him if he has.
“What happened… It was…” Trident is struggling to find the right words, “You should never have been sent away after…Warrick…after…”
“They were right to banish me.” Rage’s jaw is tight. His eyes are blazing. “I have powers I struggle to control. Even today. It’s a constant battle.”
“You had only just come into your powers. It had been maybe a year, at most?” Trident raises a brow. “You were young.” He echoes my sentiments.
“I don’t want to talk about it, Tri.” Rage shakes his head. “It happened. It’s done!”
“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know what would happen if—”
“It was my fault,” he says it softly. I feel for him. “Let’s just eat. I plan on turning Gaire down. I won’t do that to Nia.” We lock eyes for a second. “He’s an evil prick, and he can go to hell.”
“I’m glad to hear it because nothing will end a budding relationship quicker than using your girlfriend as a bargaining chip.”
Lord of Chaos (The Dragon Demigods Book 7) Page 17