by S. K. Lessly
Enough about that, back to the beach.
So, we arrived at the Marriot Resort in Grande Dunes, Myrtle Beach ready to start our vacation. It was a fabulous eighty-five-degree day and the hotel and beach were packed with vacationers and their families. We’d planned on being down here for four days and three nights. Sebastian, of course, had our days and nights planned down to the minute. Yet, we weren’t going to let him keep us too busy. I had learned there was an outlet mall not too far from our hotel. The ladies and I made sure to put shopping excursions on our to-do list while we were here. The guys had planned to play golf when we went shopping, which was fine with us. We didn’t care if they played golf all day as long as we got the chance to shop when we wanted and we had time to lie out on the beach and relax.
Our rooms were scattered throughout the hotel, which wasn’t a big deal. All of us wanted a room with an ocean view, so the hotel couldn’t accommodate having all of us on the same floor.
The moment everyone had their room keys, we made plans to meet out by the beach in an hour to talk about what we were going to do today.
“I am so glad we’re here, aren’t you?” I asked Sebastian once we made it to our room on the fourth floor.
The room was a decent size with a huge king-size bed, a dresser, a couch that looked very uncomfortable, and a balcony that faced the ocean. The bathroom was huge and so was the closet, which was good. It seemed that Sebastian had brought his entire wardrobe. He was such a male diva.
“Look at the view, Sebastian,” I gushed absently. I dropped my bags by the bed and made my way to the balcony.
I opened the sliding-glass door, stepped out onto the balcony, and breathed in the sea air. The view was great. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore was music to my ears, and I could imagine how beautiful the sunrise would look. It wasn’t paradise, but it was better than the Jersey shore.
“This room is pretty nice too, don’t you think?” I asked once I walked back into our room. I was trying to engage the sour puss that was my husband, but he had fallen into a funky mood since our arrival. He started frowning the moment we stepped foot into the lobby and hadn’t stopped. I figured he wasn’t happy with the hotel, but seriously, what did he expect when he booked the reservation, the Plaza?
Sebastian grunted, but didn’t look at me. He was fumbling around in his open suitcase on the bed. “I thought it would be better than this.”
I sauntered to his side and put my arms around his waist. “Aww, Sebastian…So, it isn’t the Plaza, but it’s still very nice. And look at the view.”
I kissed his cheek once, twice, and then slowly kissed my way to his mouth. When our lips touched, I felt him return my kiss. I moaned gleefully, wrapped my arms around his neck and traced his lips with my tongue, begging for entrance. It had been forever since Sebastian had kissed me like this and I wanted more.
I felt his hands resting on my hips, forcing me to stay where I was. No matter, maybe if I could deepen the kiss, I could get us naked and panting in no time. Hell, maybe Tonya was right and all we needed was the sounds of the waves crashing to get us started.
Just when I was about to deepen the kiss, Sebastian used the grip on my hips to push me away. He tossed an apologetic smile my way and went back to unpacking.
“Come on let’s get unpacked,” he announced, his head down and his eyes still buried in his suitcase. “The sooner we have all our things put away, we can change and head to the beach to meet everyone.”
Sebastian threw another half-smile my way before he walked to the closest to hang up his clothes.
I watched him unpack in silence. I had zero words for the feeling of rejection crawling up my spine. This shit was getting old and the pain of not being wanted was beginning to take hold. I wasn’t sure how long I would hold out before I called Sebastian on his bullshit. I felt an eruption festering deep inside, with an explosion larger than Mount St. Helens happening very soon. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be very many casualties when it happened, namely me.
Sebastian ended up getting dressed in record time. I, on the other hand, took my time. I needed to take a shower and shave in very important places just to make sure I was looking my best.
My husband was getting on my nerves, huffing and puffing as I unpacked and searched for something to wear. He even started rushing me before I stepped foot inside the shower, complaining that I was taking too long. I’d had enough of his badgering and dismissed him. I told him I would meet him downstairs and I took my time getting ready.
Once I got out of the shower, I put my hair in a low ponytail and put on my orange and cream, two-piece bathing suit. I filled my large beach bag with a beach towel, sunscreen, water, and my iPod. I put on one of those wide-brimmed hats, my sunglasses and flip-flops, and looked at myself in the mirror. I was ready for the beach.
As I stepped outside in search of my party, I noticed Amy and Sebastian off to the side of the pool area. They were sitting really close together and seemed to be engrossed in a heavy conversation. I stared a moment and noticed a few things I didn’t like.
First, I didn’t mind them sitting close together. It seemed noisy out here with all the people laughing, talking, and splashing inside the pool. You had no choice but to get close to hear one another. What bugged me was the body language. He didn’t do anything overtly inappropriate like stick his tongue down her throat or grope her. Still, I didn’t get the warm and fuzzy feelings as I watched them. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe I was overreacting.
I tore my eyes from the couple just so I could search for David, which was the second thing that bothered me. From what I could see, David was nowhere to be found.
“Hey, there you are.” I located the voice that spoke to me and found Tonya coming my way grinning at me. She was dressed in a black and white two-piece bathing suit with a wrap covering her bottom half, and black flip-flops on her feet.
Once she was close, I turned my attention back to the couple wanting her to get a good look at what I was seeing. Tonya had become my sounding board when I had crazy thoughts like, blowing Sebastian up because he was cheating on me. Tonya would call me crazy and remind me that my husband loved me. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me or what we have. Plus, she would also remind me just how much I wasn’t built to last a second in jail. She had a point about that. I hated to be told what to do and I was nobody bitch.
In any event, Tonya has accused me of overreacting on many occasions. I was dying to know if I was overreacting now based on the scene before us.
“That’s nothing you know,” she whispered in my ear. I grunted but didn’t reply. She continued, threading her arm through mine. “All he’s doing is talking to her. That’s it. Sure, they are a little close but maybe they just want to talk without being overheard, which makes sense, right?”
I tore my eyes off the “friendly couple” and met Tonya’s eyes.
“You think so?”
She nodded. “Yes, I do.”
“And, I’m overreacting again?”
I didn’t wait for her response. I looked back at Amy and Sebastian and caught a soft laugh erupt from Amy. She wiped underneath her eyes and sent Sebastian a smile. She then laid her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.
Now, the scene seemed innocent enough. After all, we were all friends. Amy could’ve been upset about something and Sebastian was just being a friend. It happened. Hell, Samson had done the same to me once or twice. It wasn’t to comfort me but we had been joking around and he put his beefy arm around my shoulder and hugged me to him. So, seeing Sebastian do that to Amy wasn’t the reason why I started making my way to the couple.
No. It was the look that accosted his face that had me moving. He closed his eyes and breathed Amy’s scent longingly, almost reverently. His face relaxed and looked content as if he felt at home with her in his arms.
Yeah, no way was I overreacting; not one bit.
“Hey you guys, why are you guys over here by
yourself?” I plastered on a smile, hoping it was filled with warmth and not death.
Sebastian’s features fell slightly and he looked up at me with a blank expression on his face. He didn’t show his disappointment at the interruption, but he didn’t seem thrilled either. Amy on the other hand sat up and smiled up at me. Her eyes were a bit glossy, which softened me up just a bit.
“Hey you guys,” Amy greeting cheerfully. “Sebastian was just lending me his ear. He had seen me over here sitting by myself and checked up on me.”
“What’s going on? Is everything okay?” Tonya asked.
Amy waived her off. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Just some family stuff that I don’t want to get into right now. It’ll just bring the vibe down and we’re supposed to be on vacation, right? I’m fine, trust me.”
Amy stood and stepped away from Sebastian giving us girls a huge smile.
Tonya smiled back at her. “Okay. Well, if you need to talk just let us know. That’s what friends are for,” Tonya offered.
“I know and thanks,” Amy replied, paused for a beat before smacking her hands together. “Why don’t we head to the beach to veg out and watch hot guys in Speedos walk by.”
“And that’s my cue.” Sebastian cut in and stood. He regarded us with a chin lift. “I’ll let you ladies get to sunbathing and uh, whatever else you do when we’re gone. I need to head to the front to meet up with the guys. I’ll see you all later.”
“Okay, sure. Oh, hey by the way. Thanks, Sebastian, for listening to me rant. I really appreciate it.” Amy touched Sebastian’s hand and squeezed. He smiled at her and again I saw something flash over his features. It wasn’t very noticeable to just anyone. Meaning, he didn’t overtly look at Amy as if he wanted to eat her up for dinner. But I saw something in his eyes that had my heart dropping to my toes.
“Anytime, Amy. No thanks needed,” he replied then moved his gaze to me and Tonya and smiled before excusing himself to head back inside the hotel.
Notice he didn’t touch or kiss me when he walked away.
“You lady’s coming?” Amy asked after a few heart beats.
I didn’t reply. I stood there silently staring in the direction Sebastian disappeared to. I wanted to follow him. I wanted to corner him and ask him a few choice questions like; are you fucking Amy? But I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to admit it but I was afraid of his answer. My heart was already heavy, my stomach in knots. I didn’t want to deal with the truth or a lie. I wanted it all to just go away.
Due to my silence, Tonya decided to answer for the both of us. “Ummm, not yet. You go ahead we’ll catch up.”
Amy said okay and walked toward the direction of the beach, where I assumed Melissa and Sabrina were both waiting.
Once Amy was out of ear shot, Tonya turned to me.
“Don’t even think about it.” Tonya laced her arm through mine.
I tore my eyes from the entrance to the hotel and tried to hide my fury, my anguish.
“What?” I asked innocently.
She put her hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes. “Don’t “what” me. I know what you’re thinking and you need to stop. There is no proof that—”
“Hey baby, there you are,” Tyler called out, appearing out of nowhere, and headed in our direction. He took in our union before looking his wife up and down and giving her a puzzling look.
“Ah, babe, I thought you were going with me to play golf? You can't go dressed in your bathing suit. You’ll have me knocking heads in with that on.”
Tonya rolled her eyes at her husband, but she didn’t let me go.
“No. I’m going to stay here with the ladies. You go. Have fun with the boys. Go do your thing.”
Tyler, looking a bit stunned, glanced from his wife to me and back to his wife. “Are you sure you don’t want to go?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Now, go.” She gave her husband a reassuring smile, leaned and gave him a quick peck.
“Uhh, okay. If you insist. I’ll see you later.” Tyler turned, shook his head, and made his way to the entrance of the hotel.
“And no betting!” Tonya yelled after him.
He raised his arm in the air and waved at her. “I make no promises!” he yelled back over his shoulder before he disappeared inside.
Once we were alone again, Tonya regarded me. “Hey, why don’t we drop our things next to Sabrina and the girls then go for a walk?”
Before I could voice an objection to cardio, she led us to the spot where I assumed our friends were now lying out enjoying the sun. When were a few steps away, I noticed Sabrina was the only one out here.
“Hey Sabrina, do you mind watching our things?” Tonya asked as she dropped my bag next to an empty cabana.
Sabrina had a prime spot in the sun, dressed in one of the skimpiest bathing suits ever. She seemed to be in her element, enjoying the sun. The content sigh that fell from her overly-plump lips signaled she wasn’t moving for a while either.
“Of course,” she replied with her eyes closed and face toward the sun.
Tonya reached for my hand and led me back toward the hotel. We continued through the hotel lobby and made our way out to the front door. We passed Samson, Paul, and Sebastian, all standing around Samson’s rental. We waved at them and continued down the walkway onto the sideway.
Tonya and I walked in silence for a while before I finally spoke.
“Please tell me I was overreacting and nothing’s going on with Amy and Sebastian?”
Tonya let a sigh escape her lips.
“You were overreacting, Lauren. All I saw were two friends talking. That’s about it,” she said frankly.
I looked over at her. “Seriously?”
“Come on, Lauren. You saw that she was upset. All Sebastian was doing was being a friend.”
I grunted and faced forward. “So, I’m overreacting.” I said plainly.
She nodded. “Yes.”
We fell into a comfortable silence for a few before I stopped walking and looked at her. “Honestly, Tonya, I don’t think that I am.” I admitted on a whisper. “I’m not harping on them talking to each other. I even understand them being close together or him consoling her with providing his shoulder for her to cry on. It’s something else…”
“What?”
I stopped talking to take in a breath and let it go slowly. I wasn’t sure if I should share my thoughts with Tonya. Yes, she was my friend and we were close, but I kind a felt like an idiot for thinking and feeling the way that I do.
It was just a look. I knew that and that’s what Tonya would tell me.
But if I was being honest with myself, it wasn’t just a look.
I had seen that look in his eyes before when we first started dating and even after we were married. It was the look of desire, want, need and joy all wrapped up together. That look always gave me goosebumps and made my heart go pitter-patter. I hadn’t seen that look in his eyes for months. But I saw it today and it wasn’t directed at me.
But to explain that to Tonya probably wasn’t a good idea. She wouldn’t understand, couldn’t understand, because she wasn’t me. She didn’t know Sebastian like I knew him.
Fuck my life
“What?” Tonya prodded again in my silence.
Coming to a decision, I breathed out, shrugged and started to walk again. Instead of telling her what I was really thinking, I said something she’d heard from me multiple times, “I think Sebastian is cheating on me.”
Tonya sighed. “Girl, how do you get him cheating from him sitting close to Amy?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. It’s just something you know like women’s intuition. I don’t have to catch him in the act to have that feeling that something isn’t right.”
Again, this wasn’t the first time Tonya had heard me mention I thought Sebastian was cheating on me, but this time she didn’t deny it. She fell silent and I debated if I should confront Sebastian about a look I had seen in his eyes. I laughed to myself. Yeah, that would go over
well.
Tonya must have read my mind because she scolded, “Don’t think about confronting him right now.”
“Why not?” I asked just to get her to keep talking.
“Because, Lauren. What if you ask him and he denies it. Are you going to believe him?”
“Probably not.”
“Exactly. But if you just calm down a bit, maybe you’ll be open-minded.” She paused for a few beats staring down at her shoes, she then looked over at me.
“Look, can I play devil’s advocate here?”
“Sure,” I said simply.
“Okay, one of the last times we were over Paul and Sabrina’s house, you and Paul were over by his bar talking. You two seemed to be in your own little world, oblivious to anyone around you. Granted, you two weren’t sitting really close to each other and he didn’t touch you in any way, but the way he was looking at you and the way you were receiving his looks…”
“What?” I stopped walking and looked at her, my heart beginning to race. “Are you saying it looked like he and I were flirting or something?”
She nodded. “Yes, it looked something like that. Now, someone on the outside looking in would have thought you two were together or something was going on between you.”
“No, we don’t even think of each other like that,” I explained, hoping she wouldn’t pick up on the sound of my heart beating hard in my chest.
“Yeah, I know. But from someone on the outside looking in, just looking at you two, one would’ve thought otherwise.”
I sighed heavily. She was probably right. Paul and I had learned so much about each other over the months we’d hung out together. We had become such good friends, so it was natural for me to tell him some funny story at work when we saw each other and he did the same. But I never realized how our friendship looked to anyone else.
“Okay, maybe you have a point. Maybe I’m overreacting a little. But Tonya, if he’s cheating on me, I swear to God I’m going to string him up by his balls.”