"Just tell me one thing," he said.
"What?" I asked.
"You pick," he said.
"Out of what?" I asked.
Daniel laughed at me for not getting what he was saying. "Your letters," he said. "Tell me one thing you said to me in them."
"Oh, just one thing?" I asked, contemplating. "Uh, you had told me about your friend from Tennessee, David, who has a pond with ducks, and when I wrote back, I told you about my grandma's brother who had a duck farm. We used to go over there for New Year's every year when I was little. I'd take some rubber boots with me, and I'd go in the duck yard, as we called it. I'd stay out there all morning, just me and the ducks. They lived in Kinder, which is only like an hour or two away, but it seemed like a whole vacation to go and see them every year."
"That's not personal or embarrassing at all," Daniel said, sounding disappointed.
I laughed at him.
"Really," he said. "You should just let me read them if they're for me, anyway."
"I'll think about it," I said. I sat up, adjusting and turning to look at him. "But just know that I did take the time to respond to each of your letters. Finally."
"You responded to me the first time," he said.
"I did, but I'd do it way differently if I could go back." I looked at him and smiled a little. "But all I can do is try my best from here."
I was gently wrapped in his arms, and I stayed there for the next hour. We talked about all sorts of things. I had my head on his chest, not even looking at him as we talked. I could hear his deep voice differently that way, and it was soothing to my ears.
Finally, we got off the couch, but it was only so that Daniel could call his mom and tell her he wasn’t coming home. He would sleep downstairs on the couch, and I would stay upstairs in the spare bedroom. Daniel offered to stay the night so that I wouldn't be frightened, and I didn't hesitate to take him up on it. He was a grown man, so his parents didn’t question him about it—he was just calling to let them know where he was so they wouldn't worry. I heard him tell his mom he'd be home sometime late morning, and my heart ached, assuming we'd be parting ways at that point.
We made a snack and some drinks while we were in the kitchen, but within minutes, we headed to the living room to settle onto the couch again.
I grabbed a heavy cotton blanket out of the closet on my way back over there, and I curled up in it, spreading it across Daniel's lap once I was sitting next to him. He was being a gentleman—giving me space, but I could tell that he wanted me close to him. He responded by pulling me in every time I got close.
Some of the time we sat next to each other, and other times, I adjusted, leaning on him where he held onto me. We never kissed. We hardly even looked at each other. We just talked and let our bodies rest next to each other.
It was a little difficult to stay neutral at times because I felt such an intense physical response to him. I wanted to kiss him more than I had ever wanted to kiss any other man in the whole world (and that was saying something, since up until a year or so ago I was a professional at being boy crazy).
I wanted to kiss Daniel King more than I wanted to kiss Jim Morrison. He had passed away recently, but even if I was looking straight at Jim Morrison in his prime, I would still choose Daniel.
I wanted to kiss Daniel King and no one else for the rest of my life. It was insane for someone like me to feel this way, but honestly the thought of anyone but Daniel was revolting. I knew in my heart that I would never want anyone else. I knew I would treat him right and never hurt him again. It seemed like he was going to be willing to let me prove that to him.
We sat on the couch and talked for another long stretch of time. It was after one o'clock in the morning when I sat up and stretched.
"It's Christmas!" I said with quiet, sleepy excitement. "Merry Christmas!"
"So far it's my best Christmas ever," he said.
I smiled. "And you're just an hour into it."
He grinned back at me, adjusting me in his arms. I had been sitting with him for hours, and I still felt an electrical sensation when he moved me and handled me.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" I asked, thinking he might be thinking of leaving.
"Christmas with my family," he said. "My mom makes a big meal and we have everyone over for lunch—my grandparents and aunts and cousins. There's twenty or thirty people. You've been over before. You know how it is."
"Yeah."
"Why were you asking?" he asked.
"I was just kind of wondering what I was going to do. I didn't want to come by if… I didn't know if your family would… "
"My family knows you," he said.
"I know, but I've never…" I trailed off, letting out a sigh since I was too shy to finish that sentence.
Daniel reached up and smoothed a lock of hair near my face. He tucked it behind my ear, causing a warm rushing sensation to happen in my gut.
"You've never what? he asked.
I was too shaken up to do anything but tell the truth. "I've never encountered them when I… when I lo-o-ve their son." I said the word so slowly that it almost didn't even sound like the word anymore."
"Did you just say you love me, Abigail Cohen?"
I bit my lip and nodded shyly, looking away.
"You didn't say it to me. You just said it about me."
"What?"
He gave me a squeeze. "You said it about me and not to me."
My eyes met his, but then I stared at his mouth and chin, then my eyes roamed down to his neck and chest. I gently placed my hand on his chest.
"I'm too scared to say it to you."
"Why?"
"Because I don't know how you feel about me."
Daniel was quiet for long enough that I glanced at him. He had a grip on me, and he pulled me to him, leaning down, to the place where his mouth was only an inch or two from mine. I leaned toward him just far enough that our lips were almost touching. There was barely any space between us. I was sharing the same breath as Daniel King, and nothing in my whole life had ever brought me as much pleasure. In that moment, I could have just melted away into helpless bliss.
"It's always only been you, Abby," Daniel said, staring at me. "I don't know how you do it, but you are the only woman in this whole world who can make me want you like this. For me to say I love you would not be enough. I have never not loved you. You are the one my heart returns to, no matter what. I would drop anything at any time to be with you."
We were so close that he clearly saw my eyes fill with tears as he spoke.
I didn't care that I didn't deserve him.
"I love you," he added, plain as day and with no reservations. "There's no question about that."
I kissed him.
I was the one who made the move. I leaned in, letting my lips make glorious contact with his. They just barely touched. It was so delicate and gentle that I could feel Daniel take a slow, measured breath. His hands gripped me slightly, but he was being as gentle as he could. I could feel the tension as he tried to hold back. His muscles were tense. I licked my lips and then leaned in and kissed him again. My lips slid against his, and his grip tightened as he pulled me closer.
Our kisses were gentle. Over and over again, he tested and probed, gentle but quick kisses, one after another. I thought Daniel would be inexperienced, but he kissed me with a sweet sort of confidence that surprised me and drove me wild with desire.
We kissed lightly like that for several minutes. I had wanted to connect with him so desperately and for so long, that I was urgent and hungry for this kiss to deepen.
I tried to hold back, but it was difficult. I opened my mouth, hoping he would respond, and he did. Daniel tilted his head the next thing I knew, I felt a glorious intrusion into my mouth. His tongue was warm and silky, and I moved and adjusted to let him in, taste more of him.
His kiss was patient, gentle, warm and soft, and yet deep, thrilling, and passionate. Our connection remained urgent and needy for a whil
e before Daniel finally pulled back.
Both of us were breathing heavy, and we sat in silence, staring at each other from only inches away. We stayed there for what must have been a full minute. I had no idea what he was thinking.
"I love you," was the first thing I said. I touched the side of his handsome perfect face. "I love you, Daniel."
He leaned back into the corner of the couch, glancing at the ceiling, stretching out, and smiling like he was living the good life.
I had every intention of going upstairs to sleep, but we stayed up until 4am, and I fell asleep next to him on the couch. I woke up with my head on his lap. His legs were hanging off of the edge of the couch. I woke up lying on my side, positioned where I was staring at his knees. He still had on jeans.
I blinked a few times, taking in my surroundings and remembering where I was. My heart was content and peaceful waking up next to Daniel. I felt happy and whole.
There was enough light in the house that I knew it was morning. I blinked, focusing on Daniel's pants and the fact that he must have slept sitting up before I shifted to stare upward. I turned my head gently so I wouldn't wake him up, but he was already awake, staring down at me.
"Good morning, sunshine."
"Good morning, my Daniel," I said sleepily.
I turned toward the back of the couch, wrapping myself in the blanket and adjusting on his lap. "I hope you didn't sleep sitting up," I said.
"I was comfortable," he said, putting his hand on my side. "I've slept in way worse places than this, believe me. I actually slept really good."
"When did you wake up?" I asked.
"A few minutes ago."
"What were you doing," I moaned. "Just being quiet, sitting there?"
"Yep," he said.
I smiled and reached out of the covers so that I could hold his hand. "Thank you," I said once I found it.
Chapter 12
By the time I got my bearings and got off the couch, it was after 9am.
I called my family to wish them a Merry Christmas and let them know I was spending the day with Daniel. I then went upstairs to shower and get dressed. I wore blue jeans and a red sweater. I tied my hair up and put on some black sneakers. I loved dresses and skirts, and I wore them often, but I went with blue jeans because Daniel had already told me that he liked to play backyard football with his cousins, and I wanted the option to get in on that. I wore delicate gold earrings and a lacy, dressy scarf that I had knitted out of some gorgeous maroon yarn. The color blended well with the red of my sweater. I knew I looked Christmas-y but not overdone.
I got dressed quickly, but I tried my best for Daniel. I was upstairs for about thirty minutes before coming back down. Daniel was sitting at the bar, looking at the newspaper with his back to me when I came down. He turned and stood when I came into the room. He had no clothes to change into, so he was wearing the same jeans and t-shirt as he was when I surprised him at the hardware store.
"Hey there, beautiful," he said, smiling at me. His smile melted me, his voice melted me. Daniel was the thing my heart desired. I had never felt so wholly devoted to a man. I was feeling all ooey and gooey just from walking into the same room as him. I walked straight into his arms. I didn't hesitate or stand beside him. I just walked straight up to him and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him.
"Hey there, handsome," I said in response to his greeting.
He pulled back to stare at me. "You're beautiful," he said, staring down at me. "I like your scarf and your earrings.
"I made it," I said. "The scarf."
"Crochet?"
"Knit," I said. "I could make you one sometime. A manly one."
He smiled at me for saying that. I reached up and touched his chest, letting my fingertips gently move across the thin layer of cotton t-shirt.
"I'm not going to love on you like this in front of your mom," I said.
"I figured," he answered, causing me to meet his eyes.
"You did?"
He nodded. "I usually don't mention girls to my parents. I've never been the type to talk about that kind of stuff in front of them."
"Is it going to be weird if I go over there?" I asked. "Should I go at all?"
"No, yeah, I want you to come. Obviously, I want you to come. I just, I think you were probably right when you said you wanted to take it easy in front of them."
"Okay, yeah," I said, feeling only slightly heartbroken that he was so easy to convince.
I followed Daniel to his house and walked in with him once we arrived. His parents were there, along with his aunt and a few other family members. Everyone welcomed us and wished us a Merry Christmas.
They were a good family. Friendliness came naturally to them, so they were nice and welcoming to me. But there was an edge of quiet curiosity or concern regarding me showing up with Daniel. Nancy asked a few questions about my sister and Billy and their Christmas plans. She asked enough that she got close to figuring out that Daniel and I had been at their house together last night. She relented and stopped questioning any further, changing the subject to apple pie versus pumpkin pie as a favorite dessert.
Daniel went to take a shower and change once he saw that his mom was content talking to me about food. He made sure I would be okay by myself, and I reassured him that I was fine.
"Let me show you something," was one of the first things out of Nancy King's mouth when Daniel left the room. She wiped her hands and motioned for me to follow her.
"Where's Laney?" one of the family members called when we walked through the living room.
"She's coming," Nancy said. "She spent the night with a friend, but she'll be here soon."
I followed Nancy into the office.
"You can have a seat," she said, gesturing to a small couch that lined the wall. "I wanted to show you a letter Daniel wrote a few years back."
It took her a few minutes to find it. We were just quiet while she looked. I was honestly a little scared about what it would say. But she was smiling at me once she found it and brought it over to me, and that eased my mind a little. I stared down at it. It was written in Daniel's handwriting. I knew it well after I had poured over his letters recently.
Mom and Dad,
I hope everything is good back home. Mother's Day is coming up, and Laney's birthday, so I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you both and love you.
I'm doing well over here. I wanted to tell you about something of a miracle that happened to me. I was having a little bit of a rough night over a buddy of mine who had just passed away, and I remembered something my friend told me. She said if I felt bad I could just open a Bible and start reading, and pretty soon I'd forget what I felt bad about. So, I did that. I opened a Bible to a page at the end of the book of Mark.
I started reading this segment that was titled the great commission. I had heard it before—at least the part about going into the world to preach the gospel. But then I kept reading. And in that same section, it said that we as followers would take up serpents, and that if we drink anything deadly, it would by no means hurt us.
And something in my heart and mind changed when I read that part, Mom. It came across as a promise of safe keeping to me. That verse was God telling me He was going to take care of me. I might be in a situation where I feel like I'm in danger, but ultimately God is in charge of my fate. Nothing's going to kill me before it's supposed to.
This has caused me a great deal of happiness. I now feel brave and not afraid. Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything stupid like jump on a grenade. But I'm also not scared at all. That is something that is valuable over here. It has changed my whole life. I don’t know how to put it in words, other than to say that I feel like a new person. I wish I had read that verse months ago. I know that I'm here for a reason. I know I have a job to do. And that verse assured me that I have God's protection and provision in getting that job done.
I will do my very best to get home to you guys and Laney, but know that I am content, unafr
aid, and trusting in God's plan, no matter what it is.
I love you all. I'll write again soon.
Your son,
Daniel
It took some concentration to keep from crying as I read it, but I managed, barely. I blinked as I folded it and handed it to Nancy.
"I just wanted to thank you," she said.
"Ma'am?"
"Thank you, sweetheart. I feel like I owe you so much for that."
"For what?" I asked.
"You were the one who told him to pick up his Bible when he felt scared. I asked him who that friend was who told him that, and he said you had written it in a letter." She shook her head and smiled a little. "You can tell your child something time and time again, but sometimes it takes a friend telling them the same thing for it to sink in. He said you were the one who gave him that suggestion, and I just wanted you to know how thankful I was that you did that. I didn't mention it when I saw you and your sister out to lunch because I didn't have the letter with me, and I didn't know if I could explain it right."
I blinked at her. I did not remember telling Daniel that in a letter, but I was happy I had. It gave me a little hope that I wasn't such a bad friend to him after all.
"Oh, goodness, I'm just happy he made it through all that," I said.
"I know," she said as she opened the desk drawer and stashed the letter into it. "Nathaniel said we don't even know the half of what went on over there. One of the other soldiers told a story at the medal ceremony, and I cried all the way home thinking about what Daniel must have gone through. He's always been quiet about the things that happened."
"Wow," I said, feeling at a loss for words.
But I didn't have to decide what to say because just then, there was noise at the door. The office was near the front entryway, and I turned to face the door when it opened.
"Hey Laney, baby, good morning. Merry Christmas!"
"Merry…" Laney had been in the middle of closing the door when she said that first word, but she turned and laid eyes on me as she said next word, "Christmas." It didn't come out so friendly-sounding. Her face fell as she stared right at me.
The Trouble with Crushes: A Romance (Bank Street Stories Book 2) Page 8