by Jane Charles
He just fucking assumed a lot of things so he never sat down with me to talk about my future. I didn’t know any better to know that I should have gone to him for help. I thought he was about high school classes, not what comes after high school too.
We started on the application process immediately, but I was already months behind the other students who had spent the spring and summer months filling them out and writing essays and searching for scholarships. I already knew which colleges and universities I was interested in and that was based simply on their soccer and rugby programs. There are a lot more colleges with soccer.
To make up for his assumption, Mr. Morris came in on a Saturday at the end of October and we submitted application after application after application, once the list was narrowed down. He also wrote me an amazing recommendation letter, as did Miguel and Betsy. They were the only people I could ask and who I knew well enough to say something nice about me. Mr. Morris also found two teachers who wrote letters on my behalf as well. I didn’t want to ask myself and put them on the spot. What if they hated me? I got good grades, did all my homework, but I was never one for class participation and always sat at the back of the class. The ones from my history and literature teachers were amazing. Not that I was supposed to see them, but Mr. Morris wanted me to know what the teachers thought of me. I even got a little teary because I was pretty sure I was never even noticed in the sea of students in and out of that school on a daily basis.
Now it is a wait and see if a college will accept me and if they offer me a scholarship. If I don’t get one then I’m screwed, though I can get grants and aid because being a poor foster kid does have its advantages. But it isn’t enough to take care of everything I need.
“Do you want to play professional sports when you get out of college?”
“I think I’m good enough for a college team, but not to go professional.” I have to be honest with myself about that. However, with the right training on the university level, maybe I can go professional. The only problem, there aren’t that many teams. Not like in baseball, basketball and football, so making a professional rugby or soccer team, a women’s professional team, is almost impossible unless you are the best of the best, which I am not. Plus, I’d have to concentrate on only one of those sports, which I won’t do unless a school wants me to play on a team for them.
“So, the only reason you want to play in college is because it will help you with the end goal of getting a four year education and you love the game?”
“Pretty much.” I shrug.
“Then, stay local for a year.”
“Miguel, that still doesn’t solve my problem. I need money if I’m going to go to school, live in a dorm, and eat.”
“Why? You have here.” He gestures around. “Tex lives here and goes to college and it’s worked out for him the past year and a half.”
I had assumed my room was temporary, until the fall. I wouldn’t even have a place if Johnny hadn’t run off. “You would let me stay?”
“Of course I’d let you stay.” He shakes his head and rolls his eyes as if he can’t believe I asked that question. “If you want to stay here all four years of college, you’re welcome to, and even after that until you decide what you want to do or where you want to live.”
“Seriously?”
“Nina, you are like a granddaughter I never had. I like having you around and if I’m being honest, I’ve dreaded the day that you go off to college and not come back here for weeks, if even then, to visit.”
Tears clog my throat. All of my problems were just solved by the most awesome man in the world. Any aid and grants I get will pay for classes and books, but if I’m living here, I don’t have to worry about room and board, or eating. “Thank you Miguel.” I get up and go hug the guy. “This means the world to me.” I blink back tears. Slowly I’ve been realizing that I have more people who care than I ever thought. Mr. Morris, after the misunderstanding of going to college, Betsy and Barrett, who bought me meals when I was down on my luck, and Miguel, who has already done so much for me and then does this. I am so lucky to have them and I hope I can pay back their kindness one day.
“You just make sure you study hard. If you can’t get into a four year university right now, then go to the junior college. Just don’t get discouraged.”
“I won’t. I promise. As long as I have here, I’ll be okay and nothing can stand in my way.”
“Miguel tells me you’re gonna stay here and go to a college in the city.” Nina and I are sitting at the front counter waiting for the last of the stragglers to leave. She’s folding towels because we are constantly washing them, and drying and folding. A lot of our clients bring their own in, but a lot of them don’t either, plus we have a stash that we use for cleaning the equipment throughout the day.
At least we don’t have to clean the place. Miguel has professional cleaners who come in and do all that in the middle of the night.
“Yep.” She grins.
There’s that smile again. She’s been smiling practically all damn day and it’s more beautiful than the sunrise on New Year’s Day. “Any idea on where you want to go to school?”
“I think I will try to get into Brooklyn College, Empire State, or St. Francis. They are all close.”
“You do know there is an excellent subway system so nothing is really too far away in New York.”
“I know, but this is the area I’m comfortable in and if I’m going to be working and living here too, I don’t want to spend a lot of time traveling.” She gets up from her seat and walks to the door leading to the gym. “Hey, we closed ten minutes ago. Get your asses out of here or we will up your rates.”
I just shake my head and chuckle. Nobody is in the gym anymore. They are in the locker rooms behind it, but I’m pretty sure they heard her anyway. A guys’ basketball league played tonight and then they just messed around and talked before heading in to get changed.
That is one thing about Horns, she can manage her time. She has it down to a science that nothing is ever wasted if she can help it. And right now, those guys are wasting her time because she can’t lock up until they are gone.
“I can shut everything down,” I tell her when she comes back.
“It’s no big deal.” She shrugs. “Got nowhere to be, I just don’t like being taken advantage of and that’s what they are doing.” Horns looks at me. “What if I had a hot date or something? They’d be making me late.”
Hot date? I wish she had one with me but I don’t think Horns has ever dated anyone.
She quirks an eyebrow. “You don’t think I could get a hot date?”
I’d love to give her one hell of a hot date. “That’s not what I said.”
“It’s what you implied.” Her tone shifted from questioning to a bit perturbed. What the hell just happened?
Shit, is this one of the conversations my pa warned me about? You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t because the female mind is a peculiar place?
“No. I didn’t,” I answer slowly. “In fact, I didn’t say anything.”
“Exactly.” She tosses a towel down. “If it were Gina, wearing those tiny things she calls shorts, saying something about a hot date, you’d probably ask the name of the guy.”
“So, who is the guy?” I ask.
“Don’t be an ass,” she retorts.
I scratch my head. How the hell did this conversation just go sideways?
“I’m not. If you had a hot date I’d want to know who the guy is.”
“If, as in I couldn’t get one.”
“I didn’t say that,” I defend. How the hell do I get out of this? “Of course you could get a hot date.”
She quirks her head and looks at me. “Really? With who?”
Me, I almost say, but hold my tongue. And because I am only thinking about me, no other guy comes to mind and I sure as hell don’t want to give her any ideas either. Especially since there are probably a dozen guys who come in here regularly who wo
uld like more than anything to take Nina out and show her a good time.
“See.” She pokes me in the chest. “You can’t think of one person. And Ricky doesn’t count.”
“That’s not true.”
“Well, the names aren’t flying off your tongue so you better think of someone quick or admit you don’t think any guy would want to take me out.”
It is one of those damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
“Sorry, Horns,” the guys say as they come out of the gym.
“Just keep an eye on the time from now on,” she warns them.
“We got all the lights in the back,” another one says as he hits the switches to the gym, completely blacking out the area behind him.”
“Thanks,” I say and follow them to the door and lock it behind them.
When I turn, Nina is gone and she left a pile of towels that still needed to be folded.
Well, the first night back and I just fucking screwed up royally and I’m really not sure exactly how it happened.
Damn! Since when is Horns so sensitive? Am I going to have to watch everything I say now? It’s one thing when we are working together, but we are going to be living in the same place too.
I still can’t believe I’ll be living with Nina. Not that we will share a room or anything, but an apartment, and I’ll be seeing her every day. That’s good and that’s bad.
Good because there isn’t anyone I’d rather be around.
Bad because I’m half in love with her and she has no clue and I don’t dare tell her. It’s going to be weird going back tonight and going to my room knowing she’s just on the other side of the wall in her bed.
I’ll never get any fucking sleep.
8
I’m up before the alarm again, and turn it off before it can buzz. I didn’t get much sleep last night because I kept thinking about the conversation I had with Tex. I know that I’m no great beauty and far from girly, but it hurt that he didn’t think I could get a date, other than with someone like Ricky. I get that Tex sees me as a younger sister type, but I’m not so much of a loser that other guys couldn’t be interested. Am I?
Is that how he sees me? How everyone sees me?
I get that I’m more one of the guys around here but that doesn’t mean that I want everyone to see me like that. Okay, I couldn’t care less what everyone else thinks, but could Tex at least acknowledge that the idea of someone wanting to take me out isn’t so far out of the realm of possibility that it’s laughable?
Of course, he didn’t laugh. Tex would never do that, but when pressed, he couldn’t think of one guy who would be interested in me. That’s what hurt because if he can’t think of anyone, then he would never consider me as a possible date for him either.
I push my covers back and grab my sweats. What the hell does it matter anyway? It’s not like I actually want a guy in my life. There is no place for one until I graduate college so there is no point in even going over this anymore. Besides, I need to get to the park. Malik hasn’t been back to run in three days.
I should have gone for a cup of coffee. Something has to be wrong. He never misses a run. Or, at least I don’t think he does. I missed a few myself and there wasn’t anything horrible that had happened.
Virgil and Barry are sleeping in their spots when I come out and I tiptoe by. Not that I’m afraid of them, but I don’t want to wake them up either. It’s really early and the sun is just starting to come up. As soon as it’s light out, they’ll leave and head for the soup kitchen. They are such nice guys but I feel bad that they don’t have family or a place to live, even though they insist that they prefer it this way.
Malik isn’t there when I get to the park. Instead of heading off on my run, I stretch longer, waiting for him, but he doesn’t show. After half an hour I give up because I’m getting cold, so I plug in my earbuds and take off down the trail. I could run the track behind the gym, but that’s boring. Nothing to look at and no other people.
I slow as I get back to the entrance and look up. Malik is standing there, leaning on a crutch. I take my earbuds out. “What the hell did you do?”
“Just twisted it. No big deal,” he assures me.
“It is a big deal. You’re a starter for the team.”
“Not right now I’m not.” He chuckles.
I look down at his right foot that’s wrapped with so much stuff it’s twice as big as his other ankle. “How bad?”
“Doc says I’ll be playing by February.”
“Whew.” The team has a shot at going to state and it would majorly suck if Malik couldn’t play. I’m not sure they’d have a shot without him. “So, why are you here if you can’t run?”
“Because you don’t have a phone.”
This isn’t the first time Malik has gotten on me about not having a phone. He can’t understand how I’m even surviving without one. “I don’t need one. If I need to call anyone, Miguel’s has one.” Not that I have anyone to call. Anyone I want to talk to either lives at the gym or shows up there eventually. Even Malik.
He looks down. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”
“I’m fine, but how are you doing?” I ask pointedly.
“The ankle is going to be fine. I promise.”
I study him. “That’s not what I meant. You asked me for coffee the other day.”
“I just wanted to sit and talk.”
Malik and I don’t just sit and talk. We’ve chatted at the gym a few times and when we run into each other here, but that’s it. I mean, we are friends, but it’s not like we are best friends either. “Is everything okay with your mom?”
“Hey, I just wanted to have a cup of coffee with a friend.”
That’s all?
“We don’t talk that much, that’s all.” He shrugs. “I thought it would be nice.” He’s looking at the ground and not at me, like he’s uncomfortable or something.
Is he asking me out? I thought he had a girlfriend, Monique. Cute cheerleader type. They’ve been together forever and everyone refers to the couple as M&M. They’ll probably be prom king and queen this year.
Even if they did break up, Malik wouldn’t be interested in me. He could take out almost any girl in that high school. He’s one of those genuinely nice guys, like Tex. And, he’s cute, like Tex. I know of at least a dozen girls who have crushes on him. Not that I really interacted with anyone when I was in school, but I heard a lot.
So, something must be going on with him and he needs to talk. I won’t shut him down this time. “I can do coffee. Don’t need to sit at the desk until later.”
“Now?” He seems really surprised, or maybe it’s shock.
“Yeah. Come on. Bert’s is only a few blocks over.”
“Okay, then, well…let’s go.”
Betsy is still working when we come in and she just raises a red, penciled-on eyebrow and I give her a death stare.
“Crap.”
“What?” Malik asks.
“I didn’t bring my wallet. I usually don’t when I run.”
He smiles and shrugs. “I can buy you a cup of coffee.”
“I promise to get the next one.” I don’t want him thinking he has to buy me anything. And, just in case this happens again, I’ll shove bills in to a pocket, or down my bra. When I have bills, again, that is. Hell, I don’t even have a bank account. I never needed one because I handed my checks over to Mrs. Graft. Since I get to keep them from now on, I’m going to need a place to put the money.
“Guess what,” I say once we sit.
“What?”
Betsy stops by the table, her order pad in her hand.
“Just coffee for me,” I say.
“Same,” Malik says.
She nods, looking Malik over and then me, still nodding as she walks away. Betsy so has this wrong.
“Hey, Malik,” Barrett says as he comes out of the kitchen and grabs a tub of dishes. The two know each other from the gym.
“Hey,” Malik returns as Barrett giv
es me a questioning look before he goes back into the kitchen.
Great, now I’m going to have to deal with him and his questions when I get back to the gym.
Betsy returns with two cups and fills them with coffee. “Let me know if you need anything else.”
“Thanks, Betsy.”
“So, what is your news?” Malik asks after taking a sip.
I tell him about living at Miguel’s while going to college and looking at nearby schools. “So, what’s up with you?” He’s the one who asked me to talk and all I’ve talked about is me.
He starts to blush. Isn’t that cute?
“This is really awkward,” he finally says. “But you’re a girl.”
“Um, yeah.”
“But you don’t gossip.”
“There is nobody to gossip to.” It’s not like I have a set of girlfriends I get together with and talk about hot guys. I never had time for that. Not with two jobs and homework.
“I also don’t think you’ll make fun of me.”
I straighten. Who the hell has been giving Malik a hard time? I’ll kick their ass. “Of course not.”
“You see, I really need to talk to a girl about this,” he whispers.
Clearly the girlfriend isn’t the right girl or he wouldn’t be sitting here. Unless it’s about Monique. “What’s going on?”
“Monique is pressuring me.”
“About what?” I can’t imagine what she wants. I don’t think she’s into drugs or shit like that.
Malik leans in. “Sex,” he whispers.
I just blink at him. They’ve been together for like three years, at least. I figured they’d already been doing that on a regular basis. “Isn’t it usually the guy doing the pressuring?”